I've started, and I WILL finish fabulously (that's the plan anyway) :)

NatM70 said:
Well, he's self employed, so has quite a bit of spare time.
This week, he's playing golf three times, so that's three whole days.
I'm stuck in with a poorly baby, it wouldn't hurt him to help out because it's bloomin hard work when LO is ill! But on no! He'd never give up his precious time to spend with us, or help me out in any way!
Add to that he's a lazy g*t, and all I do is run around cleaning up after him.
When he does look after LO, if say I do the housework or something, all he does is feed him and change his nappy - he doesn't play with him. No washing clothes, washing baby's stuff, or anything like that, oh no, I do it all!
And, I am skint, yet he's not! How's that fair in a marriage!
HE'S the one who pushed to have children, yet I feel like a single mum!
And that's just a bit of it - if I wrote some of the other stuff that's bugging the hell out of me on here, it would get deleted for sure!
How I feel right now - I could walk out and never come back because I am sick to the back teeth of him!
And what's made me even more mad - he thinks my bad mood is because I'm cutting the AD's!!! For Heaven's sake, I have cut a TINY amount, it's not affecting my mood at all. I felt great before he decided to yet again be a selfish pig - it's him who's the problem, not me cutting down on meds I do not need!
There's no arguing with stupid!

Reading this back, I sound SO petty, but I am in a mood with him! :D
Click to expand...

Nat u don't sound petty at all, I would be furious 2 if I was u xxx
 
Thanks guys!

It's helped me sharing this, because I can now see it's not me being a ***** !!!
Certainly helped me get some perspective as well, so a HUGE thanks to you all :D

It's since he's become obsessed with golf Periwinkle. I even left him when I was heavily pregnant over something he did which some women would have left him for, for good!
I went to stay at mums. He came over to see me to try to talk me round (yes, I did go back like an idiot!), but not before he'd got his day's golfing in!
When it comes down to it, LO and I come second. Always have, and always will.
He can afford to spend stupid amounts on stuff for his hobby, yet I am really, really skint!
I am in a foul mood with him, and I can't see that going anytime soon.
However, my mood on the whole has brightened, since I shared this, so I am really glad I did!!
xxx
 
Bloody golf. He seriously needs his head examined. *hug* Having the lil one to look after when all this is happening can't be easy. I know what you mean about feeling like a single parent. That's how my mom often felt as we grew up. It's great you're doing the S&S right now - it's important that you do good things for yourself and not just for everyone else. xxx Don't ever leave yourself out!
 
U and ur LO should never come second!! It isn't good enough and u deserve better!! Be strong xxx
 
NatM70 said:
I'd love to think that could be done, but I just can't see it somehow. I've asked him before, he changes and makes an effort for a day or two then reverts back.
He was brought up that way, so I doubt I could change his ways, I've tried and failed many times!
One instance, when LO was just two weeks old, he screamed and sweared at him because he was crying! I was FURIOUS and told him never to shout or swear at a tiny baby like that again. He hasn't - I think he knows I would walk for sure if he ever tried that again.
I was quite emotional for the first couple of weeks after having baby, I was sat here in tears on the phone to the health visitor one morning, he saw me, but left me sat here crying and went out with his mates!
No support whatsoever. I give up to be honest - If I don't expect, then I can't be disappointed.
I've already looked in to what I can do to get out of this. And every time he does something else to p*** me off, it just confirms that I am probably doing the right thing.
I can't see this lasting much longer, because I resent him - not just for what I've written, but for so much more, that I just can't write on here.

I'm okay though, made of strong stuff. Whatever happens, I know that my LO and I will always be okay :)

Thank you for your kind words xxx
Click to expand...

:( In relation to that - want to give you a massive HUG :hug99: I'm so glad you shared this, I really hope it made you feel better in some small way, like you said - maybe even just to put things into perspective... or just rant and vent like you rightly deserve to!! I can't believe he puts you and LO second ... to GOLF of all things? Makes me sad. :(

He sounds like he lacks some form of understanding of emotion and empathy actually, I have a friend like that - he seems good and always up for a laugh, but when it comes down to understanding how his actions might affect someone else emotionally, he simply just doesn't understand it, not that he doesn't want to, but simply can't. He's normal otherwise, apart from being slightly obsessive with his computer programming :p ... so maybe, your OH is wired slightly differently as well as being brought up to be a bit reliant on the woman to do everything (which I guess can't strictly be his fault - my Russian granddad was like that ...).


If I were you, I'd probably stop picking up after him - to show him what a mess he makes! If he has a go - set him straight! It's not your job to be his babysitter too!!
 
Thanks again, SO much!

You all feel like friends already, weird isn't it, but in a good way! :D

It'll be him who misses out if he carries on, because apparently, children are all he's ever wanted. I would hate to think what he would be like if he didn't want them, lol!!
I'll always have my LO, and have a loving family, so if it comes to it, I know we'll be just fine.

And I hope him and his golf clubs will be very happy together ;)
You know, if it were possible to marry a sport, I think he actually would!
That sad!

xxx
 
Minerva said:
:( In relation to that - want to give you a massive HUG :hug99: I'm so glad you shared this, I really hope it made you feel better in some small way, like you said - maybe even just to put things into perspective... or just rant and vent like you rightly deserve to!! I can't believe he puts you and LO second ... to GOLF of all things? Makes me sad. :(

He sounds like he lacks some form of understanding of emotion and empathy actually, I have a friend like that - he seems good and always up for a laugh, but when it comes down to understanding how his actions might affect someone else emotionally, he simply just doesn't understand it, not that he doesn't want to, but simply can't. He's normal otherwise, apart from being slightly obsessive with his computer programming :p ... so maybe, your OH is wired slightly differently as well as being brought up to be a bit reliant on the woman to do everything (which I guess can't strictly be his fault - my Russian granddad was like that ...).


If I were you, I'd probably stop picking up after him - to show him what a mess he makes! If he has a go - set him straight! It's not your job to be his babysitter too!!
Click to expand...

I'm so glad I did too, because I feel heaps better, thank you!

He's always done it, before baby even came along. I thought, quite naively, that would change when we had the baby, because that's all he's ever wanted.
So, it was a shock to be honest, because I thought he'd be the best dad in the world!

You are spot on there - he is wired up differently. Very intelligent, but there's definitely something wrong with him. He doesn't seem to feel emotion at all, not where we're concerned any way. He used to, but has changed so much.

I'm stopping everything. I've also told him I am going back to full time work as soon as LO can go to pre-school. He wanted me to work for him, I had two lucrative job offers, but I said no because he really wanted me to work for him.
I can see now why - a way of controlling me. He is a bit of a control freak!
Wish I'd seen that coming! I am totally reliant on him for money, so he knows he's got me by the short and curlies. Well, he thinks he has.
He's in for a shock though, because I'm fed up of not being an equal in this relationship.

Get this, when I said I was going back to work full time, outside of the house, he said, 'Well, as long as you can afford child care, and earn enough for what you need, why not.' - Nearly choked! He expects ME to pay for ALL childcare!
I'm getting mad just thinking about it lol!!

I think it's going to get to the stage where I have finally had enough. I'll plan everything (already looked in to every aspect), and leave on a day I know he'll be out all day.

Then he can do what he likes when he likes. Which is pretty much what he does anyway, but at least I won't be constantly disappointed!

I can't believe how much I've disclosed.....I've not even told people closest to me about some of these problems!

xxx
 
Wow he seems to be acting like LO is only yours!! He has joint responsibility which he appears to have forgotten!!

Sometimes its easier to talk to people u don't know if that makes sense, nobody will judge u here, ur always so lovely and kind I genuinely feel sad for you and hope u r able to fight for what u and ur LO deserve xxx
 
peaches10 said:
Wow he seems to be acting like LO is only yours!! He has joint responsibility which he appears to have forgotten!!

Sometimes its easier to talk to people u don't know if that makes sense, nobody will judge u here, ur always so lovely and kind I genuinely feel sad for you and hope u r able to fight for what u and ur LO deserve xxx
Click to expand...

Aww thank you Peaches!
So are you my lovely :)
I'll be fine, I always am xxx
 
beelishy said:
You definitely deserve better, honey. Youve gotta make it a priority to take care of yourself and your LO. Put you two first and foremost. x
Click to expand...

I am doing now Bee, I am past caring!
We can co-exist until I figure out what I want to do. No rush, and LO's happiness is my priority, so I'll do whatever is in his best interests :)
xxx
 
Logging off now ladies,
Enjoy the rest of your night, and hope you have a wonderful day tomo!
Thanks again for your support, you've really helped, so THANK YOU! :)
My first 'real' weigh-in tomo, and measurements too, then start of my second week...it's flown!
Looking forward to hearing of your next weigh-ins!
Goodnight :) xxx
 
Mornin!

I cant wait to see your WI and measuring results today, Nat. So excited for you! And I hope things have calmed/settled down for you, honey. Its hard enough to have a LO but to have a poorly LO and be doing this diet along with the crap you have to deal with from your OH....youre doing an AMAZING job.

Anyway, I cant wait to see how youve done in week 1!! :) Have a great day today! xx
 
Morning lovely!

First thing I did - got on scales, not expecting to have lost again, but another 2lbs gone - where's it going, lol!! :D
Can't express how happy I am!!

So after my first week, my weight/measurements are -

11st 9lbs - a loss of 11lbs in my first week!

Neck - 13/5" - Same
Shoulder Circ - 38" - 1" loss
Chest - 38" - 2" loss
Waist - 34" - 2.5" loss
Natural Waist - 31.5" - 2" loss
Hips - 40" - 2" loss
Forearms - 8.5" - Same
Biceps - 11.75" - 0.5" loss inc.
Thighs - 25" - 1" loss
Calves - 16" - 1" loss inc.

Overall loss - 12 inches

WHOOP!

Can't even put in to words how happy I am! I thought yesterday was a bloop and I would either stay the same or gain!

Unbelievable!

Nothing can upset me today, not even that idiot I'm married to!!! :D:D:D

Have a Fabulous day, and I can't wait to hear your results!
xxx
 
Last edited:
Thats amazing!!! Soooo happy for u, well done xxx
 
NatM70 said:
Morning lovely!

First thing I did - got on scales, not expecting to have lost again, but another 2lbs gone - where's it going, lol!! :D
Can't express how happy I am!!

So after my first week, my weight/measurements are -

11st 9lbs - a loss of 11lbs in my first week!

Neck - 13/5" - Same
Shoulder Circ - 38" - 1" loss
Chest - 38" - 2" loss
Waist - 34" - 2.5" loss
Natural Waist - 31.5" - 2" loss
Hips - 40" - 2" loss
Forearms - 8.5" - Same
Biceps - 11.75" - 0.5" loss inc.
Thighs - 25" - 1" loss
Calves - 16" - 1" loss inc.

Overall loss - 12 inches

WHOOP!

Can't even put in to words how happy I am! I thought yesterday was a bloop and I would either stay the same or gain!

Unbelievable!

Nothing can upset me today, not even that idiot I'm married to!!! :D:D:D

Have a Fabulous day, and I can't wait to hear your results!
xxx
Click to expand...

Well done, that's fantastic x Jo x
 
beelishy said:
Thats absolutely amazingly fantastic!! well done you!!!

Heres to an equally fabulous week two for you!

Have a great day, lovely! xx
Click to expand...

Thank you Bee!
And I wish the same for you too!
:) xxx
 
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