Jonsgirl80
Silver Member
Thanks busy xx
Today has been a very very long day.
Managed much better food wise than I thought I would. I made up a banana protein powder shake with some soya milk for my breakfast (tasted much better than expected) and then had a leftover Atkins bar (bleurgh!) and a can of cherry coke zero on the train to fill my tummy so I wouldn't be hungry.
As predicted there was loads of sandwiches, crisps and buns at the meeting - it was all from m and s and I LOVE their food normally. I took one chicken mayo sandwich (ie one triangle - half a slice of bread) and managed to make that last me half an hour by wandering round a lot and talking to people while I was eating.
Then came the cake which could not be avoided - it was placed in front of me and everyone was looking :-( I had the smallest slither I could manage and ate about half. Followed by a litre of water.
after the meeting I went back to the train station, I had an 3/4 hour until my train so I went to m and s to kill time and for some more water. Usually I can't resist m and s food and started to browse all of the cakes and pastry with the full intention of buying something (see how quick the carb lust kicks in again) after looking for five minutes I came to a strange conclusion - I didn't actually fancy anything there - not the sausage rolls, not the chocolate mini rolls, not the Jaffa cakes or the sweets - I didn't want any of it! ( I would normally have bought all - I have been known to spend £25 on crap in m and s before boarding a train and eat it all in the space of an hour on the way home :-O!)
I realised that eating it would give me that bloated full uncomfortable feeling straight away and I didn't want to feel like that. In fact the thought of it turned my stomach - what the heck is happening to me???
I left m and s with a litre bottle of water, a packet of sugar free chewing gum and a smug grin!
I felt so pleased with myself.
But since I have got home I have felt very low - I have no idea why? I can't work out whether its because I've slipped by having that little bit of cake (although it could have been much worse) when I have been doing so well or whether the carbs themselves have had some kind of impact on my system - I've suffered depression for years which I believe in part was linked to my diet. I don't usually beat myself up when I have a slip because I firmly believe that life happens and if this woe is for life carbs will be unavoidable at some point. So why do I feel so rubbish?????!!!
At the moment I'm sat here mainlining water to try to minimise the damage - straight back onto clean and green in the morning in a bid to salvage what is left of the week and not have a disaster on the scales come Saturday.
hubby and i have decided to book a couple of cheeky weekends away to give us something to look forward to - still trying to decide where to go but I love going away so I'm really excited.