Darcys Mummy
Silver Member
Today I was woken at 6am by my husband going to work. He works 30 minutes away and doesn't have to be there till 7:30. Why leave at 6am you ask? Good question.
Me and my husband have some trust issues...he is a recovering alcoholic and without going into great detail he hasn't treated me very well. He cleaned up his act when our daughter was 2 months old because I refused to let him see her unless he was clean and sober. Then his sister died unexpectedly of believe it or not a drug overdose...he fell off the wagon and after an 8 month battle he hit rock bottom before he realised he had to change his ways and he will be one year sober on Monday...now I know this is a milestone because to think what he was and where he is now its miraculous but when his sister died he was 14 months sober and he just went straight back to being who he was before and his mum is killing herself she's 5 and half stone she's refusing to eat she has COPD, insulin dependant diabetes and pancreatitis and I'm worried every day that something's going to happen to her and my hubbys going to fall off the wagon again and honestly if he does that will be the end of us not because I don't love him because I do I wouldn't have put up with this crap if I didn't but I don't have anymore fight left in me and my daughters at an age where she's starting to understand...when he's gone off on a bender before she hasn't noticed but now she will notice and she's starting school in September and I don't want them thinking my daughters in any danger (which she isn't btw) but you know how schools are nowadays they have to write down every cut and every bruise your child has and write down everything your child says to them because of course kids don't lie.
Anyway back to the original point I asked my hubby why he went to work so early and he said he didn't leave till 7 I said that was bull because he'd woken me and I looked at the clock he kept denying it then I lied to him and said look you woke me I got up went to the bathroom, sat on the bed looked at the clock and had a drink...he then said yeah I heard you get up and go to the bathroom...and there you go...caught him out because I didn't get out of bed and go to the bathroom...then he was quick to change the subject. I have no idea what he's up to but I know he's up to something and I know it's nothing good so now I'm sitting here my stomach in knots waiting for something bad to happen. I hate when you catch someone out and they continue to lie and you know they're lying it's soooo frustrating.
Anyway I don't know what it is I don't know whether it's my gain on Friday, this thing with my hubby or TOTM but I am just feeling really low and disconnected. I haven't been on here that much, I haven't been out other than with the hubby. And the visitor I was meant to have Thursday who didn't turn up and then who didn't turn up again on Saturday I really wanna tell her off and give her a peace of my mind because I am soooooooooooooooooo pissed off with her. I am fed up of her treating me like crap but I keep thinking of my daughter and her party and that if I scream at this person half my daughters guest list won't come because they're all so far up her arse it's a joke. So I'm sat biting my tongue and letting it all fester and it's getting me more and more frustrated. As I was typing this I decided to get it over with and rang her the self centred cow who never has her phone out of her hand isn't answering me. What a shock!! Finally got a hold of her and she's claiming her phones broken...'yeah but your legs aren't I live one minute around the corner'.
The other week I couldn't get to the supermarket to get weighed so quickly jumped on my mums scales and I was weighing heavier by 10lbs thought this was ridiculous so waited till the next day and went to supermarket and had only gained 1lb. However today my dad went to the doctors and got weighed as part of his MOT and took great pleasure in telling me the doctors scales were only 2lb off my mums (my dads a bit of a dick doesn't mind telling me I'm fat but won't praise me for losing it, so anything he can do to pull me down and he will) which means that either the doctors and my mums scales are wrong or the supermarkets is wrong. So now I'm wondering if I'm actually half a stone more than I think. Not a good thing feeling the way that I am this week. I honestly don't know what to do. The thing is the other week the supermarket scales were broken and I went to use the scales at the doctors and I didn't weigh the same because I'd loss but the loss wasn't as grand as 7lbs so it was an unrealistic loss is what I'm trying to say. I am sticking with the supermarket scales no matter what I started on them and I will continue on them but it just got me wondering that's all.
As I'm writing this I can smell my dinner cooking and I didn't eat at lunch because I had to go to my mums to wait for the plumber and she didn't ask me until last minute so I didn't have chance to eat and wasn't going to attempt to find something healthy in my mums house, I had a packet of crisp which cost me 6.5 syns because I was starving but I'd put 6 syns aside for a curly wurly so I'll just substitute for the crisp. Tonight I am having pulled pork tortilla wraps...I can taste them now but before that I'm going upstairs on cross trainer so talk soon.
Me and my husband have some trust issues...he is a recovering alcoholic and without going into great detail he hasn't treated me very well. He cleaned up his act when our daughter was 2 months old because I refused to let him see her unless he was clean and sober. Then his sister died unexpectedly of believe it or not a drug overdose...he fell off the wagon and after an 8 month battle he hit rock bottom before he realised he had to change his ways and he will be one year sober on Monday...now I know this is a milestone because to think what he was and where he is now its miraculous but when his sister died he was 14 months sober and he just went straight back to being who he was before and his mum is killing herself she's 5 and half stone she's refusing to eat she has COPD, insulin dependant diabetes and pancreatitis and I'm worried every day that something's going to happen to her and my hubbys going to fall off the wagon again and honestly if he does that will be the end of us not because I don't love him because I do I wouldn't have put up with this crap if I didn't but I don't have anymore fight left in me and my daughters at an age where she's starting to understand...when he's gone off on a bender before she hasn't noticed but now she will notice and she's starting school in September and I don't want them thinking my daughters in any danger (which she isn't btw) but you know how schools are nowadays they have to write down every cut and every bruise your child has and write down everything your child says to them because of course kids don't lie.
Anyway back to the original point I asked my hubby why he went to work so early and he said he didn't leave till 7 I said that was bull because he'd woken me and I looked at the clock he kept denying it then I lied to him and said look you woke me I got up went to the bathroom, sat on the bed looked at the clock and had a drink...he then said yeah I heard you get up and go to the bathroom...and there you go...caught him out because I didn't get out of bed and go to the bathroom...then he was quick to change the subject. I have no idea what he's up to but I know he's up to something and I know it's nothing good so now I'm sitting here my stomach in knots waiting for something bad to happen. I hate when you catch someone out and they continue to lie and you know they're lying it's soooo frustrating.
Anyway I don't know what it is I don't know whether it's my gain on Friday, this thing with my hubby or TOTM but I am just feeling really low and disconnected. I haven't been on here that much, I haven't been out other than with the hubby. And the visitor I was meant to have Thursday who didn't turn up and then who didn't turn up again on Saturday I really wanna tell her off and give her a peace of my mind because I am soooooooooooooooooo pissed off with her. I am fed up of her treating me like crap but I keep thinking of my daughter and her party and that if I scream at this person half my daughters guest list won't come because they're all so far up her arse it's a joke. So I'm sat biting my tongue and letting it all fester and it's getting me more and more frustrated. As I was typing this I decided to get it over with and rang her the self centred cow who never has her phone out of her hand isn't answering me. What a shock!! Finally got a hold of her and she's claiming her phones broken...'yeah but your legs aren't I live one minute around the corner'.
The other week I couldn't get to the supermarket to get weighed so quickly jumped on my mums scales and I was weighing heavier by 10lbs thought this was ridiculous so waited till the next day and went to supermarket and had only gained 1lb. However today my dad went to the doctors and got weighed as part of his MOT and took great pleasure in telling me the doctors scales were only 2lb off my mums (my dads a bit of a dick doesn't mind telling me I'm fat but won't praise me for losing it, so anything he can do to pull me down and he will) which means that either the doctors and my mums scales are wrong or the supermarkets is wrong. So now I'm wondering if I'm actually half a stone more than I think. Not a good thing feeling the way that I am this week. I honestly don't know what to do. The thing is the other week the supermarket scales were broken and I went to use the scales at the doctors and I didn't weigh the same because I'd loss but the loss wasn't as grand as 7lbs so it was an unrealistic loss is what I'm trying to say. I am sticking with the supermarket scales no matter what I started on them and I will continue on them but it just got me wondering that's all.
As I'm writing this I can smell my dinner cooking and I didn't eat at lunch because I had to go to my mums to wait for the plumber and she didn't ask me until last minute so I didn't have chance to eat and wasn't going to attempt to find something healthy in my mums house, I had a packet of crisp which cost me 6.5 syns because I was starving but I'd put 6 syns aside for a curly wurly so I'll just substitute for the crisp. Tonight I am having pulled pork tortilla wraps...I can taste them now but before that I'm going upstairs on cross trainer so talk soon.
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