Thanks everyone for all your caring & kind words, it's really nice and lovely how a bunch of people who've never met can be so connected on here & caring towards each other
I spent tonight with one of my closest girl friends who I thought I hadn't seen in about a year.. It turns out we actually hadnt seen each other in 2 years & 2 months, and she's never even met my 19 month old son. It really hit home how much I pushed my friends out & put my life on hold while I was with my ex, and I had the realisation tonight also that I was actually unhappy with him, and this breakup is a blessing in disguise..
It's been 2 and a half weeks & now the heartache and upset is subsiding, and if anything I just feel angry & resentful towards him for how he ended it & some of the hurtful things he said and did during the breakup.. such as commenting how he was so miserable with me sometimes that he used to think he'd rather be dead than come home to see my face -- nice guy eh?
I'm free to live my life how I want it & it's an amazing feeling. My number one priority will always be my son, he's my angel. And I'm determined to take care of myself & get my weight in order and feel happy and healthy again. I also really want & need my friends in my life so I'm grasping at them all and getting in contact again & making sure I see them regularly, cause they're all amazing people and I left them out of my life for far too long.
I can make my life what I want now, I'm 22 and have hopefully many years ahead of me. I'll always love my ex, he's the father of my child & played a big part in my life for along time & there are happy memories that I'll cherish.. but people change & people move on and I'm now fully prepared to get on with things & focus on being a happy healthy woman, mother, friend & everything else.