Minerva; Confessions of a Food Addict.

[Minerva]

Had a nice long walk again... And the porridge this morning was nice, ACTUAL porridge lol, strangely enough I really did feel like it sustained my energy for much longer than the LL porridge would have done. At least I think so? I don't know.

Breakfast: Porridge from Wholegrain Rolled Oats (20g) and a tablespoon of raisins + cinnamon. (about 135ish cal)

Lunch: 1 poached egg, sprinkling of parmesan. Sat in a medium bowl of 'crunchy' salad + 1 tomato, and some cabbage. About 70g of Adouki Bean Sprouts added. Mmm. Tasty. Beans. (about 230ish cal)

Dinner: Bacon Lentil soup with vegetables. (about 400-450 calories)

Dessert: LL Porridge with low-fat fruit yoghurt and some frozen raspberries. (about 250 cal)


I've had about 1000 calories today, yet why do I feel like I've overeaten?! Maybe I'm getting a little obsessive, but I don't want to start LETTING myself get anything 'just because'. I genuinely need to NEED it... Because once I start letting myself have stuff for "free" so to speak, it's the start of a very slippery slope... I need to do it slowly, gently... I didn't NEED my dessert today, and I enjoyed it. But because I let myself have it, I started having that binge feel much later (albeit after a bunch of stress and my OH losing his wallet outside). I noticed a pang of 'I need somthing to make me feel better'. Like food could somehow cure the stress. Of course it can't. But funny how those brain signals do cross.

Why is it when I feel like I've overeaten I feel FAT. I suddenly notice my belly much more than usual. I know I haven't changed lol. It's just weird how mind power alone can make you feel and be more aware of things that are usually purely in the background. Hm.


A little bit worried about this wedding I'm going to tomorrow... I guess I'll try to do the best I can, but I know I'll be feeling bad with whatever I eat... ugh. I won't give in much - because I'm trying to break the habit of "ritual". Just because something calls for over-indulgence doesn't mean it should always happen.

On this blog - I will actively set out my guidelines for tomorrow so that I have them clear in my head.

* No Cake. (Lol silly, but true. No one can make me have cake!!!)
* No more than 2 servings of 'carbs' (servings in accordance to LL RTM - excluding all bread based items since I'm not allowed them yet). No excuses, no leeway.
* No more than 3 glasses of white wine. Meh. It's a party after all. 3 glasses will be plenty enough to enjoy and savour over the course of the evening, and not look like a complete anti-social idiot. Of course I could pretend to be "documenting" and hide behind my shiny new digital camera.

Ok. My guidelines set for the wedding. Another party on Saturday for a mate's birthday... Indian meal out and night out drinking ... well not much drinking for me - I don't enjoy drinking very much... I think I'll keep to a couple of glasses of wine - it makes me merry and doesn't make me go absolutely nuts for more, more more MORE OMG MORE. Like Gin does. ... ugh. Gin.

Strange how social norm requires us to conform, or we're seen as the outcast. of course I could choose not to drink - like I have done for a very long time - but I do end up dragging down the mood quite often especially for my OH who's worried about me not being happy... it's sometimes like I'm being forced. I'm not good at socialising when completely sober though and that's something I need to learn to deal with ...

meh.. maybe one day.

 

[Sean(JSF)]

I've had about 1000 calories today, yet why do I feel like I've overeaten?!

Why is it when I feel like I've overeaten I feel FAT. I suddenly notice my belly much more than usual. I know I haven't changed lol. It's just weird how mind power alone can make you feel and be more aware of things that are usually purely in the background. Hm.

I know exactly how you feel on this one and it is starting to concern me that I'm obsessing. I guess it's just that we've now spent so long with 'nothing' in our belly that any food feels like a lot. You're right though, we need to focus on making sure we don't over-eat again without being obsessive. This is likely to take some time to master.

* No Cake. (Lol silly, but true. No one can make me have cake!!!)
* No more than 2 servings of 'carbs' (servings in accordance to LL RTM - excluding all bread based items since I'm not allowed them yet). No excuses, no leeway.
* No more than 3 glasses of white wine. Meh. It's a party after all. 3 glasses will be plenty enough to enjoy and savour over the course of the evening, and not look like a complete anti-social idiot. Of course I could pretend to be "documenting" and hide behind my shiny new digital camera.

Ok. My guidelines set for the wedding. Another party on Saturday for a mate's birthday... Indian meal out and night out drinking ... well not much drinking for me - I don't enjoy drinking very much... I think I'll keep to a couple of glasses of wine - it makes me merry and doesn't make me go absolutely nuts for more, more more MORE OMG MORE. Like Gin does. ... ugh. Gin.

Strange how social norm requires us to conform, or we're seen as the outcast. of course I could choose not to drink - like I have done for a very long time - but I do end up dragging down the mood quite often especially for my OH who's worried about me not being happy... it's sometimes like I'm being forced. I'm not good at socialising when completely sober though and that's something I need to learn to deal with ...

meh.. maybe one day.

Great planning, and that HAS to be the key. I also know what you mean re socialising and feel like I "must" join in with drinking (more); but deep down I know that's not the case and no-one is going to force me to, or even especially care!

 

[EmVeg]

RE. The feeling like you've overeaten - I'm exactly the same still... slight different with "enforcing free" snacks. I've made sure I've given myself enough leeway for snacks in the evening because I know this is when I feel the need to graze and will generally act on it even when not hungry - but I plan what I will have and then stick with it. Its the only way I can do it. If I don't have it - I don't have it.

 

[Minerva]

Yeah, it's strange that feeling of 'over-eating' isn't it. I'm really struggling with it at the moment even though I'm not eating very much, and not really snacking.
I don't actually give myself a lot of leeway with the "free snacks". Because I know once I start to snack - it will just grow into too much... so I have certain meals I do (Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner at certain times). The only thing I allow myself plenty of is salad/lettuce - but again only within the confines of my "meal time".
As I move slowly off RTM I will work on sub-snacks a little more, like having a 'scheduled' apple when I assess my energy-dips a little better... Hm.


As for the wedding... well. Here's the original guidelines...

* No Cake.
* No more than 2 servings of 'carbs'
* No more than 3 glasses of white wine.

I indeed had NO cake. And didn't have any carbs at all, refrained from the potatoes and bread and anything 'snacky' on the buffet table much later which was deep fried...

I still feel I over-did it... I feel a little bit guilty - not so much for WHAT I ate (I was sticking to things I CAN eat), or how much (it was a bit much - but if I think about it properly it was about how much I'd eat in a day anyway... minus a few bits of fruit)... it was the mentality of slight innubriation. I wasn't hungry after dinner when the buffet was laid out as the party was put on... I honeslty wasn't hungry, but I started eating - it's like the buffet table had this power over me.

Well... Here's what I had during the day anyway:

Morning/Afternoon: LL Porridge with raisins. An apple.
Wedding Dinner (what I had of it): Cream of Tomato soup, followed by a selection of oil drizzled vegetables and a fried chicken breast. Followed by half a nectarine (had to scrape off the butter cream ...thing).

So far, so good... ... then it all went wonky. Lol.

I was still a bit hungry to be perfectly honest, I hadn't had one of my meals (at this stage it's 1 Foodpack and 3 meals). So calorie wise - I still could have eaten some... Meeh.. So the buffet ...... .. overindulged in it a little though.
During the course of the evening I had a very large bowl of cut fruit (Mmmm, so yummy - I hadn't let myself much of a selection yet!), but like I said... it was a very large portion. And I had quite a large portion of fried king-prawns. About 25 prawns or so. Which works out at 200g or something? ... Lol. Well.

It wasn't the amount as such... it was the inability to stop myself properly - or rather not listening to my stomach telling me that it was quite full ... still. It's what alcohol does. ... which brings me on to my next point!!

My allowance of '3 glasses' of wine sort of fell through. I had a bit of champagne (since it's a wedding ... ... but only about half a flute). Then the white wine they were selling was absolutely mank - too sweet for me, so I drank a few mouthfuls but left the rest, it was making me feel ill. .... So here's my confession... to 7 single measures of gin. Lol. I confess!

Oh well. I had fun anyway. I'm not beating myself up about it, because it was a celebration at the end of the day. The next morning I woke up feeling good, picked myself up again and noticed that I am still doing just fine. Today I had:

Breakfast: A bowl of fruit (didn't polish it off - left quite a bit in the bowl, just noticed that I naturally stopped when I was satisfied with the portion that I ate... which made me feel happy.) and a low fat yoghurt.

Lunch: Adouki Bean Sprouts fried together with some button mushrooms, 1 tomato on some salad, sprinkling of parmesan cheese. (~about 120 calories)

Dinner: 150g lean mince bolognase with lots of cauliflower, a bell pepper, salad. Sprinkle of parmesan because it's tasty.

Dessert: LL porridge with frozen raspberries, and 1 tsp dry cranberries & 1 tsp dry blueberries.

 

[daisydoll]

the wedding sounded good - and tbh i think you did really well.

really enjoying this thread every day
daisy x

 

[Blonde Logic]

It was a one off celebration Min - sounds like you did very well!

But 7 gins!!! Not shocked that you had them - shocked you can rememebr anything AFTER them!! hehehe

Well done- you planned, you stuck to it pretty damn well.

Be proud of yourself kiddo!

 

[EmVeg]

Well done Min - it's one of those event where you will over-indulge, but you've realised that it isn't such a bad thing! Well done for not trying to over compensate.

 

[Minerva]

Thanks Daisy I try to do my best in assessing how I feel every day... It's hard work! But it's something I must do in order to be able to MAINTAIN. ... it's such a strange concept, I'm almost living in fear of suddenly gaining 2 stone in the period of a day. Lol, sounds ridiculous? But the mind is a strange place. ...

BL: I'm half Russian - when I'm in the mood to drink, Oh believe me, I can drink! Those 7 gins didn't hit me very hard at all, I was feeling pretty sober to be honest, and no hang-over at all the next day (and I usually get pretty bad ones!). I think it was all the moisture from the fruit and the salt in the prawns that saved me.

Em: What did you mean by 'over-compensate'? Hmm.

--
I try not to carry over any 'guilt' feelings into a new day, what is done, is done. I can't exactly turn back the clock! So live each day as you mean to go on, I try not to "punish" my choices by taking something away. It's just not how it should work. I chose to do something, it was my decision at the end of the day... if a "punishment" mentality sets in - that suggests that I had no control over my actions in the first place, that I didn't have a choice over what I did or didn't do. That is what I am trying to avoid. I have all the choice, I am the one driving myself forward. No one else is! JUST ME!
This is where a lot of people do fall into a trap in the long run. If the suggestion is made anywhere at all in the mental cycle that the individual has no control: then a blame cycle can start to develop. 'Oh it wasn't my fault', 'I had no choice', 'I had no control', 'Everyone else was doing it too'... Um? Really?


Either way... I'm brought onto my next challenge... The 'more, more' monster. Every one of my meals, someone's starting to shout at the back of my mind: "Add a bit more", "What else can I add to this?", "Want more, need more, gimme more" ...
For the moment being I can and am actively ignoring it, but I do find myself standing at the fridge sometimes just scanning for more 'extras' to put into my porridge, or my lunch. Though it's scary how it comes back to haunt me even JUST after I finished my meal. ... or just a little while later. When I do feel the 'hunger' I actively ask myself: When was my last meal? If it was more than 3 hours ago then I contemplate to have something. However, if it was more recent, then I ask myself if I'm thirsty? Or what else could be bothering me... ... though a lot of the time I can't find a cause for my emotional hunger. It just happens. I'll get to the bottom of it eventually I guess. I just have to remember that I am in complete control of my actions. Not the emotional monster who wallows inside of me. And so far - so good. I can feel him clawing away inside, but I choose to sit in my chair and write about him instead. Shame him, but not blame him. I need to accept him and move on. Running away will never solve the problem. ...
Speaking of which - I am SO GLAD I gave up smoking this second time that I did LL. It gave me the chance to actually face my demons as there was nowhere to run. No fag to make the demons go away, no food to drown my sorrows. Just raw emotion which I had to tackle. ... though I can't lie. It was and still is to some extent - very, very difficult. But I'm glad. Life will always throw challenges my way, and eventually I do need to learn how to deal with them.


Well, that's enough psycho-babble... ugh.. I'm so tired... need sleep.

Today's menu:

Breakfast: 20g porridge oats, with some skim. milk and 1tsp. dry blueberries, 1tsp. dry goji berries. ~around 140 cal

Lunch: Can of button mushrooms (20cal) + 100g adouki bean sprouts (125cal) in an omelette made from 1 egg and some milk (85cal). + Some parmesan cheese on lettuce... ~around 280ish calories.
An apple ~ 50 calories

Dinner: Chicken pie. (Filling made from some onion, some chicken stock, chicken, broccoli, sweetcorn, carrot and 2 tsp. half-fat creme fraiche. 1 tbsp. of cornstarch for thickening of the sauce)
~ Top made from 2 tsp. half-fat creme fraiche, herbs, cauliflower and potato mash + 1 egg white.
Had a portion (one quarter of the dish) which I worked out to be about 300-350 calories.

 

[Minerva]

Right... Today. No amazing revelations or anything. Just going along at my own pace, exploring how to live my life normally and maintain. It's just getting my head to the right place eh.

Going out for a meal later (Nepalese cuisine) for a friend's birthday and then to a Metal/Rock night... Not dreading it, I'm prepared. Some guidelines for myself for the meal: Already had 1 of 3 "starchy foods" allowed servings today, so stick to it - not hard. Can be half a plain naan and 2 tablespoons of rice, or 4 tbsp's of rice, or however I feel. Doesn't even have to be all that. *nods to self* ... As for the pub bit; gonna try to stick to gin/vodka and to 6 measures for the night (6 measures would equal about 300 calories in total). Those are my *maximums* though I feel confident I don't even need anywhere near that much.

So far today:
Breakfast: 20g porridge with hot water and 80g frozen summer fruit. (100 calories or so, as I threw a bit away).

Lunch: 50g Quorn chicken pieces fried together in soya sauce with a can of sliced mushrooms. Added some steamed broccoli, carrot, sweetcorn. And a tomato. (Worked it out at 200 calories).


*400-600 calories to play around with for dinner; which should be ok!
*300 calories for drinks... So that total for the day will be about 1000-1200ish.

But we'll see how I go eh!! Hopefully the "drinks" bit won't catch me out again. Lol. But last time 6 gins were more than enough for a good night out without the rubbishness of drinking too much! Just have to pace myself and have *singles*!! Lol.

 

[Minerva]

So, the meal last night!

I didn't have any rice or naan (even though I could have.. but again, just because I can - doesn't mean I always should!). Had a side salad instead! Had Tandoor King Prawns on a bed of fried onion. It was dry oven-cooked so (no wet sauce), I estimate the meal to be 400 calories TOPS. It was literally 100g or so of prawns and lots of salad! I'm just overestimating for the yoghurt spice they marinade the meat in before hand... even though it's such a pitiful amount that's left over on it!

As for the pub; same thing. Didn't feel like drinking, the atmosphere just wasn't right. Too loud, couldn't even hear myself think; so had 3 measures of gin in the end (150 cal) and I think they gave me 2 non-slimline tonics... ugh that's like 90 each, so... all in all from my allowed 900 calories to be spent that evening I spent about 630 tops. Oh and a small handful of manky grapes. Rofl. ... funny thing though, I stopped myself from picking at them. At first I went a little nuts, but then, I recognised the problem... So I seperated a few grapes out from the 'bunch' as my portion, put the bowl aside and enjoyed what I set aside for myself. It worked, I was satisfied and didn't want any more. Good technique - then you know exactly how much you're having, and you feel satisfied that you've left the rest alone.


Right; today's food... Will update later when I figure out what I want for dinner and lunch!

Breakfast: 20g Quaker's porridge (75 calories), with some cinnamon and raisins (30g ~ 90 calories). ~165 cal.

Snack: Apple ~50 cal.

Lunch: Spicy Chickpea burgers: 120g chickpeas whizzed together with an egg white, a dash of Nando's Peri-Peri Hot sauce, and some herbs. 10g Porridge oats added for a more dry consistency... Fried on very low heat for 5 minutes each side... Served on some broccoli, cauliflower and 8 cherry tomatoes. ~worked it out to be about 270 calories.
(Note to self: add some more spice next time!)

Dinner: Chicken 'Chinese' stir-fry with almonds. 55g cooked chicken + looots of veg and salad and some nuts = worked it out at about 350 calories for the meal.

Dessert: Sugar-free Jelly with Summer Fruits. ~about 35 calories tops.

Day total : about 870 calories... plus or minus about 50.

 

[KD]

Just popping in to say Hi :wavey:

Great diary...great thoughts...excellent grub.

WTG you!! :clap:

 

[Minerva]

Just popping in to say Hi :wavey:

Great diary...great thoughts...excellent grub.

WTG you!! :clap:

Well thank you very much for popping in! I do plan to reply to your PM, but I need to finish that book first to give you my full thoughts on it. :hug99:


In other thoughts, the LL Maintenance website is full of lovely tips and recipe ideas and stuff. I'm having fun browsing through. ^_^


At the moment I'm making a paper book-journal for myself as well - I'm printing out all relevant information (such as nutrition info, food and maintenance tips) anything that I find useful in forming a more in-depth understanding of how to make the right choices for life. And it helps having it all in one place, rather than being forgotten as website bookmarks, remnants of a memory. ...


Taken from LL Maintenance Website:

Your ten-point checklist for success

1. Continue to work on creating a more helpful, balanced way of thinking.
2. Create a personal weight-management plan to fit in with your own lifestyle.
3. Develop new, sustainable, healthy eating habits, including:
   • eating regular meals and fewer snacks
   • eating or preparing most meals at home rather than mostly eating fast food or using convenience food
   • having smaller portions
   • eating more fruit and vegetables, and less fat and sugar
   • monitoring your intake, such as counting servings or kilocalories
   • sitting down to eat and paying attention to your meals.
4. Become more active on a regular basis.
5. Set weight-management goals that are achievable.
6. Self-monitor: weigh yourself at least weekly, keep tabs on food intake and activity levels, and continue to use thought records/logs to track your thinking patterns.
7. Continue to develop constructive ways to tackle stress and problems, so that challenges are less likely to lead to a return to old ways of coping (such as overeating).
8. Set up a support system: such as the LighterLife Management Programme, your Management group, Counsellor, family and friends, exercise buddies etc.
9. Recognise and tackle weight regain quickly.
10. Enjoy your new, lighter life!

---

I'm proud to say I can check all those off the list for now! Number 8: This website is the greatest for a support network for sure. I will aim to keep this journal up for as long as I feel necessary, or at least try to log my food choices until they become a more natural way of life. It's a way of self-monitoring as well, because I won't be able to lie about a snack I shouldn't have had in this journal! There is no running away from myself anymore.

 

[Minerva]

Ugh WI day! I don't like Mondays!
Well as of tomorrow I'm on my last week of RTM - and I may make today my last day of 'weigh-in' with my LLC. But I will continue to weigh myself on Monday mornings and keep a record. I feel fairly confident that I can keep going on my own now. I should have 1 foodpack per day last week and this following week, but I just didn't. I'm going alone, counting calories just to get into the habit of visually being able to assess what sort of portion I should have.
Getting the scales out for even vegetables is rather annoying! But not too much of a bother I suppose if I can learn to monitor myself. I determined that 25g suggested portion of almonds is about 30 of them and 155 calories... All this wealth of information I'm collecting in my brain; along side with portion information, the 'eat-well' plate thing, a NEED and love for vegetables (they're so awesome?), and I dunno. Just general stuff.
I'm just scared of things "creeping" back in. I guess this food diary will keep that sort of thing at bay. I hope...!!!

Argh; well since I don't eat much on a WI day... my menu today is fairly short.

Breakfast: 20g porridge oats diluted with hot raspberry tea (makes a raspberry porridge !) and about 80g Frozen Summer Fruits mixed in. ~110 calories .

Mid-day snack: A pear. ~65 calories.

Dinner: 100g Quorn chicken pieces (110 calories) made into a mild creamy curry (2 tsp half-fat creme fraiche and curry powders/herbs/turmeric (60 cal)) +120g chickpeas (145). +lots of veg (carrots, cabbage, broccoli ~ 125 cal) ~ around 440 cal.
With salad and gherkin additions = 500ish net if I finish the whole portion. ...which I didn't... end result worked out at about 350 tops.

Dessert: The other half of my sugar-free jelly with lots of frozen summer berry fruit. 55ish cal.

~585-610 ish for the day. ... ugh...

Did lots of housework, and some exercise on the bike... and cycled to LighterLife meeting. so about 400 calories burned. ...

Hm.. I was supposed to introduce "carbs" a week and a half ago, and I can have 4 portions (as of tomorrow) of any that I want... But I'm having trouble with them. I have 1 portion (3 tbsp's of rolled oats) in the morning, but I'm scared of bread, pasta and rice (and grains/quinoa). I know what they do to me, I don't want to go back there... Ugh. This is so difficult. I can't cut them out forever, but I guess I need to work on a very slow reintroduction gradually. ... Maybe as of tomorrow I'll have them every other day, and work it up that way. .. meh.
1 portion/serving at a time... slooooooowly.

.......Maybe I'm still stuck in the mentality of wanting to lose more weight...I'm enjoying watching my ribs move under my skin. Enjoying feeling and seeing my hip bone and it's dips. ...this is getting a little out of hand....where am I going with all this ... maybe for the first time in my life I feel in control of my body. maybe I feel like I can actually have control over my eating. this is the longest I've gone without a binge (2 months now). a strange achievement to put down, but I do feel the urge to binge, but I resist. ... maybe I'm scared to reintroduce more food because I feel like I'll lose this control that I have now. I starve sometimes and I'm beginning to like it... because I feel like I am holding my choice in my hands. my brain is in control rather than my stomach. ... it's like a punishment for being hungry. ... ... ... emotion sickness.



Edit An addition to previous ranting... Making Amoretti biscuits (60 calories each) from a healthy eating book... Hope they turn out ok! Replaced the sugar with Splenda - but I did this with the macaroons earlier and it worked fine! Mmmm... Cooking is fun.

 

[Minerva]

Ugh.. I do need to start eating a little bit more properly because I do feel like I'm starting to get a bit obsessive compulsive. I buy tasty healthy things, but when I get home I'm too scared to touch them for the fear of the "calorie monster". F*ck's sake woman :copon: Then again I like having control over what I eat and knowing exactly what's in my food. ... Meh. At the moment I'm having about 800-900 calories per day... so I have plenty of room to play with (my maintenance calorie target is 1700)... I'll get there eventually.
Tomorrow I'll start experimenting a little more with carbs; maybe have a 'pitta' pizza. 2 pittas are 300 calories and they'll be fun to make! I get to choose everything that goes on. Ooops not tomorrow.
Tomorrow I'm going out for Yo! Sushi! I've already looked at their website and their nutritional info for some of my fave dishes. Some I've substituted for lighter options, more fish, less wet sauces. A lovely selection of beautiful food to tickle my tastebuds - a late Birthday treat!

Okidoki; today's menu was rather exciting actually!

Breakfast: 20g Porridge oats + 1 pack of Cadbury's "Highlights" Hot chocolate (40cal!). Mmmmm. Chocolate porridge was very tasty. (about 110 cal total).

Small snack: 5 almonds and a home made amoretti biscuit. (~90 cal).

Late lunch: Wild mushroom omelette (using 1 egg). On a salad made of sprouting beans, a few cherry tomatoes, gem lettuce, sprinkled with a tsp. of sesame seeds and parmesan cheese. Mmmm. VERY tasty lunch. (~250 calories).
A pear (~60 cal).

Dinner: Chicken Fajitas with red peppers and Old El Paso fajita mix. Served in cabbage leaves with small helping of Light Mayo, sweetcorn, salad and carrot sticks. (~400 cal)

Dessert: Sugar-Free Jelly with lots of frozen fruit + some creme fraiche. (~70 cal).



Mmmmmm... Sushi. I have my list of the foods that I can freely have and their respective calorie counts. I'm all set to go!

 

[KD]

Your menus are so creative min :clap:

Nothing wrong for wanting to know what's in your food and as for being obsessive, well...not in the long term, but early days at the mo...

It's when you get manic about things that it's a problem. Like cutting a wedge out of a slice of cucumber to save a calorie

And yes...I've done that in the past

 

[Minerva]

It's when you get manic about things that it's a problem. Like cutting a wedge out of a slice of cucumber to save a calorie

And yes...I've done that in the past

Oh dearie me. *pets you on the head gently*

Nah, I'm only ever estimating the calories, rounding up rather than down. Things like lettuce or the skim. milk I have during the day (I don't have much), and the fruit teas I ignore completely.
And I'm not obsessive in the way of living on "rice cakes" because 2 rice cakes are going to be the same calorie wise as a slice of wholegrain bread = and the bread is gonna be better and healthier for me in the long run, because I do try to go for more Low Gi options (I do find I am 'fuller' for longer - which is something I did struggle with). Plus if I have a piece of bread I won't think I'm dieting - but living like a normal person. And that counts for far more than anything else!

I look at the nutrition I need like from nuts for the oils and essential fats, vitamins from all kinds of sources and random things for enjoyment.

As for the menu ideas, thanky! The creativity was inspired from reading your blog! I would never have thought of sprinkling random things on top of salads, or combining things I have lying around... So much texture and flavour can arise from just a small dollop of garlic puree, or just such rich nutty flavour from a sprinkle of sesame seeds for example. Is it wrong that I got over-excited when I received a 20-Jar SPICE RACK for my birthday? Lol I'm only 23. ... I guess this dieting malarkey actually woke me up to enjoy life and food so much more than before.


Ah life is good, but should never be taken for granted. Everything in moderation; but never in depravation.

Ahhh I want some more fruit tea. It's so yummy. Twining's multi-selection pack -is-awesome-...!

 

[Minerva]

Writing in Sean’s RTM Blog made me aware of a deep issue I feel I do need to address with myself before I can start living a more ‘normal’ (is there such a thing as normality?) and healthy life – without ‘dieting’. First I must detach myself from food – which I am slowly doing. Food is ‘served’ at certain times of the day – if I’m hungry before or after those times – then TOUGH.

The issue I feel I must address is: What is “good” and what is “bad” in relation to food and our own behaviour? Crooked thinking gets the best of us here, and if we label something bad – it will cause issues in the long run.

* We as an individual can’t be “good” or “bad” because that would signify that we didn’t have control over our own actions. If we were “naughty” – oh let’s say had an extra cookie – we then feel guilt and usually shift the blame elsewhere. Once the shift of blame happens we become “victimised” and in essence fall into a guilt-cycle. … Now that is something we should definitely avoid. However – if we ELIMINATE the good/bad mentality and actively ALLOW ourselves to have the extra cookie – as in we actively choose to have it – the guilt cycle doesn’t begin, because the decision was 100% up to the individual.

* Food cannot be “good” or “bad” because if something becomes labelled as “bad” it is then usually forbidden in the “dieter’s” mind. That creates an aura of danger around the food item which may result in fluctuations in subsequent behaviour. The forbidden fruit will become too tempting – that’s why we can’t live on rice cakes forever! A slice of bread is on the whole better for us (sustains us longer, and has more essential nutrients we need!), and about the same “calories” as 2 rice cakes. Everything in moderation and not too often. We CAN have the chocolate cake on certain occasions, we CAN have a greasy fry-up – just keep an eye on the portion size. A Forbidden/Bad Food will only induce a later binge because it would usually be avoided. … then the guilt cycle begins and the “dieter” throws in the towel saying something similar to “I’ve blown it now, screw this” and proceeding to keep on eating more and more of the forbidden foods spiralling further into guilt.

- Now the lesson to learn here is … if you want some chocolate for example – then have some. But a small amount rather than a bucket – because more often than not – a small amount is all we need! Substitution doesn’t *always* work either, a piece of fruit won’t erase the chocolate craving. … but it’s advisable not to follow the first pang of craving… wait 30 minutes or so, if you still want that item then have some!

--- Not all cravings are true WANTS and may be associated with a physiological response (stomach acid build up to make you hungry – or blood sugar rise in relation to a smell or sight of something tasty) – or it could be a momentary flash of emotional hunger. … hence. Wait a few minutes and see how you feel then. J

I wonder why I get pangs of dizziness after I eat something? … weird.


Right… Today’s menu!

Breakfast: 3 Low-Calorie Carrot Pancakes. (50 cal per pancake – 150 total)(Recipe below!)

Lunch: 140g tin sliced mushrooms, 125g tin butter beans (118 cal), ½ tsp sesame seeds fried together with some Nando’s Hot sauce. Served on tomato and bed of spinach, and some gem lettuce. (250 kcal)
And half a pear. (30 kcal)

Dinner: Chicken Goulash with vegetables and cauliflower ‘rice’. Gherkins and salad on the side. (about 300 cal)

Dessert: 3 Carrot Pancakes and a small tin of pears. (235 cal.)



So far – 1100. (addition of small piece of home-made low-calorie flapjack.)
That's quite scary ... 1100 already and no real carbs added... 2 servings of 5 available to me. ...



Rather proud of myself though that I split up my pancakes into two meals! And only had a fifth of a flapjack to try it and being able to put the rest away without any problem AT ALL...!!
I'm learning MODERATION! WOW. ... it is a big deal because I don't feel the urge to have to finish a packet "just because" there's a couple of left-overs in there. I can usually leave things alone now without feeling like I'm "depriving" myself. ... Wow. ... Feeling good. Feeling VERY good indeed.




Low-Calorie Carrot Pancakes. (Makes 6 – 50 cal per pancake... Size: a little bigger than the palm of the hand.)

1 egg (75 kcal)
20g Quaker’s Rolled Porridge Oats (75 kcal)
150ml skimmed milk (50 kcal)
15g plain flour (50 kcal)
1 grated carrot (100g – 30 kcal)
¼ tsp baking powder
¼ tsp vanilla extract
1/3 cup Splenda
½ tsp cinnamon
A few tablespoons of water are optional – I put in some for a runnier batter.

280 kcal in mixture + 20 kcal from spray-oil. – makes 6 pancakes, so 50 calories each!

1)Soak the rolled porridge oats for an hour in the milk.
2)Mix in the flour, baking power and egg. Then add the vanilla, Splenda and the cinnamon – whisk together.
3)Grate some carrot and fold into the mixture. … Now the batter won’t look very useable, runny and lumpy (due to the carrot) all at the same time. So here’s my word of warning!!

Word of warning: This recipe does require some creative thinking. The grated carrot could and probably SHOULD be whizzed with a blender for a better consistency for the batter… The grated carrot I had to scoop out of the batter with a small tablespoon, spread out lightly on the pan, turn the heat right up as I pour the batter over the carrots so that it set into a nice shape, then turn the heat right down to very low immediately – cover sauce pan with a lid and let it cook for 4-5 minutes untouched. If you can perfect this strange method of grated carrot flakes and pouring the batter and juggling the heat on your stove – then you’ll have some awesome pancakes in the end.

4)The pancake should visibly rise a little, after about 4-5 minutes you can flip it, and cook it for a further 2-3 minutes at low heat.

 

[KD]

Got it again with the good/bad thing. You are definitely on my wave length here as I was going to write something about this in my diary, but sort of got carried away with tother talk.

Carrot pancakes Are you crazy?

 

[Minerva]

Carrot pancakes Are you crazy?

Why; aren't you crazy too? Thought it was a social gathering of us nutters here.

And despite what you may think - the carrot pancakes were UBER tasty. I am looking forward to having the other 3 for dessert in about 30 mins. Experimenting and counting things is fun. HMM!


As for the good/bad... I'm having fun working with it. It's a strange thing to catch myself thinking "I mustn't have that because it's BAD" though! ... Then I think about it, weigh out the pro's and con's and alternatives, and usually I may as well have that thing I was debating about. (i.e. Rice Cake Vs. Piece of Wholewheat Bread).

 

[daisydoll]

carrot pancakes sound interesting!

i got a magimix food processor today as i am cooking so much at the moment and i made a courgette cake (used courgettes instaed of carrots) looks and smells really nice, obviously i couldn't taste it.

All the kids ate it so it can't have been bad - i didn't tell them it was courgettes tho or they wouldn't have touched it lol!

i can't wait til i can start experimenting for me to eat - will def try your pancakes
daisy x