For a year I followed the SW plan, and noticed that on the odd occasion when I would 'treat' myself to the kind of high sugar/fat things I'd cut out, I would wake up the next morning with insatiable cravings for more of the same. Really extraordinary and noticeable effects, a sort of 'desperation' as you've phrased it, to consume more and more. Managing my eating would become enormously difficult for the following couple of weeks, where before I'd been breezing along quite happily. I went through this pattern about four or five times before it dawned on me that the effects I was experiencing after eating high sugar/fat foods were physiological - not psychological, as I'd assumed.
It’s quite alarming to actually notice these chances within the self, isn’t it? It’s not a PSYCHOLOGICAL change because you know you’d been perfectly fine around sugary fatty things before, not even tempted... Then the switch happens and there’s just this ‘tunnel vision’ on the food, all the time, wanting, craving, obsessing. And it only gets worse if the desire gets fed. I wouldn’t have believed such a change was possible before, but it really is. Knowing the effects really is the key to prevention. Though, in essence, it can be quite worrying to admit defeat – we do not have as much control as we hope, think, and perceive we do. There are so many chemical drivers present that we can’t possibly be aware of on a ‘conscious’ level.
For me, the idea that it's healthier to be able to have these things in moderation, learn to just have a bit and then choose to refrain, simply doesn't work. It's a bit like saying to someone who's managed to get off heroin - 'Fantastic, well done! Now, to show you REALLY have beaten it, we'd just like you to have a little bit of heroin now and again. Just a taste, you know, and then JUST SAY NO.
You know what? This bit really made me laugh out loud! It’s so true, and how I feel so much of the time. I’m glad that I’m not alone in this. It comforts me to know that people out there have also come to the same conclusions as I have. Food is a drug for some people, and unfortunately, for some bizarre reason some people’s chemistry reacts excessively to sugar and fat. It’s like... I gave up smoking fairly easily, the cravings were bad for about a month but it was do-able. A year later, I can’t even imagine why I smoked in the first place. I don’t crave alcohol or anything else... But some things... just can’t touch them. As I grow older I’ll come more and more to terms with it all I reckon, but KNOWING it now, so early does help.
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MiniMimi2091 said:
When I do have a treat one day I just KNOW that I'll wake up next morning craving for even more of the junk. My whole body would try every possible trick in a book to get what it wants...Guess, what? Just learnt to say NO! Firm no! End off.
Fact that it happens every time I brake my sugar/carbs rules gives me the power to deal with it in appropriate manner... Power of knowledge, eh?.
I know this, and when I have long periods of not having the SUBSTANCE, one bite does no excessive harm and I can control myself. The problem starts only if I start allowing myself those things more regularly and a ‘build-up’ happens inside. With increasing quantities lingering inside the body – the harder it becomes to control oneself. So therein the problem lies. Because it’s been so long on this sugar-high, the build up I need to ‘get over’ is like a HUGE MOUNTAIN (a few months worth) instead of a small hill (produced perhaps by ONE or TWO overindulgent days). It’s not so bad though, I feel like I’m on the other side of this hill now. I’m getting back to where I want to be. Perseverance is the key, and I definitely don’t stop trying!!
I hope all is well with you though my dear, sounds like you have this whole thing absolutely sussed out.
It’s a great place to be!!
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scotwannabethin said:
I am good for days, sticking to "healthy" food then it all goes horribly wrong. One little sweet turns into how much can I stuff into my face. Never mind that I am full, I feel full, uncomfortable full, but another bag of crisps won't do any harm now will it!!
It’s such a strange feeling isn’t it ... that compulsion to keep eating even when it physically hurts... because it becomes sort of like a punishment for the ‘failure’... Though, I think, the thing with it all is, there is no such thing as ‘good’ or ‘healthy’ or ‘bad’... Everything is equal, but finding that balance between all things is hard. I know not to touch bread as it drives me crazy. What’s worse is chocolate though. That I really don’t even go close to – not until I know I’m completely off my sugar dependence. Once it’s gone, I know I can control myself. I know I had an issue with open packets – I used to buy raisins in the little boxes. After a while though I realised I could easily control myself with a large bag and not eat the whole thing. It’s all about having patience and developing TRUST in yourself.
Right now, of course though, I don’t trust myself at all, so everything is gone from my house. Slowly as I regain my control things can come back. I’ve even asked my boyfriend to hide his snacks and he’s good like that. He understands.
I do wish you all the best Scott, it’s definitely hard, loving food so much, that feeling it gives. Part of me wishes I didn’t have to eat at all, so that I wouldn’t get stuck in the loop. But of course, we can’t do that. Two roads we can follow. Momentary Exhiliration when we over-indulge followed by nhappiness over our desire for control over our behaviour, bloatedness, and guilt cycles... or the other path of never quite being satisfied, never quite having what you want, but in the long-term happy because we’re doing what we can to be healthy and be able to live our lives with others.
Long-term or short-term gains? It’s hard, of course, to look beyond the moment we live in right now. But we must keep trying.
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daisydoll said:
I'm doing OK. Still in a bit of shock about the westiegirl news, its really sad and has put some stuff into perspective for me - this obsession with food i have is not good, it takes up far too much of head space where i should be living for the moment more. life is short and you never know how long left you have on this planet - so to spend 90% of my time worrying about food when i have so much else in my life seems a bit ... i'm not sure what word to use here...shallow/pointless/depressing/self obsessing?
I was very saddened to hear of poor Westie passing away.
She had always been such a strong and inspirational character here in Minimins... I know she’d supported me at the very beginning of my joining the board too... Though out of all bad things, some good things must come. And if it’s put some perspective in your life, then go for it. Life is short, and food in the great picture of it all, is insignificant. In a way, it’s more about – who we share that food with! It’s not all about our own over-indulgences and wants. We live our lives for others, never for ourselves, because ultimately, everything you give, comes back to you threefold. Karma and all that. Good and bad.
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Apart from that... I am going strong. I keep on trying. And I have come to many conclusions. Being unrealistically thin and always obsessing over what I’ve eaten made me into a horrible person. I was always angry, controlling, harsh and cold, because I had absolutely no energy and I could never relax about anything... now.. I’ve gained a fair bit of weight – ok, so, not great. But I knew it would happen. I had PLANNED for it. I knew I was going to see a very difficult few months when ‘food control’ had to take a backseat because I just would not be able to deal with life otherwise. Ok, so none of my clothes fit and I do feel a bit podgy. But... I’m happy. This house I have moved into has indeed delivered the peace of mind I craved... The extra energy I have gained back in (fat stores!) actually gives me the energy to be able to laugh, to be happy, to play cat-and-mouse with my partner... I am a BETTER PERSON. Like, I’ve gained back the ability to love? ... and when you’re stuck in a loop of constantly berating yourself for having an extra piece of lettuce, the love goes out of the window. For yourself and especially for everyone else.
It’s a strange paradox. Food is addiction and darkness. But food also gives so much love and life. I need to find the balance, and I’m slowly getting there again.
I’m reusing the techniques I did before. If I feel a binge coming on, I stay with the veggies and I refuse to give my body what it ‘craves’ (i.e. sugar and bread). And slowly the body stops calling for binges because the chemicals are disappearing and are not getting refuelled. The binges are becoming fewer and further inbetween. They used to be everyday a few weeks back. Then they were every 2-3 days... Then, rarer... now, even less. They are becoming less severe too. I no longer stuff myself to the point that I can’t physically move... I know not to touch chocolate because that’s a killer. Bread I can deal with, but chocolate sends me into a blind overdrive.
My sweet-tooth is being fed with sugar-free candy and fruit-flavoured chewing gum. It satisfies that sweet thing I’m after without the chemical effects. So... we’re slowly getting there. One day at a time. The worst thing I could do is trying to eliminate EVERYTHING ALL AT ONCE. It just doesn’t work that way. Tackle one issue at a time, and slowly it will all fall into place.
The main thing is to WANT to change though. I guess some previous attempts were sabotaged because I wasn’t ready to let go yet. Now I am though... I know this is where I want to be and want to stay here more than anything.
Well... We’ll see how it goes. I may of course still end up sabotaging myself a few more times, but, I still refuse to enter that guilt-blame cycle. Forgive, let go, learn from it, and move on. ... episodes further, and further and farther inbetween... it’s working.
I’ll write something more constructive and in-depth later... I have a few bits and bobs floating around that I should share... But first I had to write a big thank you to all the wonderful people who read my drivel, and share your own experiences with me. Without your input, I don’t know where I’d be !!!
Thanks loads guys!! x
