<<<<HUGS >>>>>> Min.
I am really sorry to hear you are still suffering from the loss of your grandmother. I am with BL. Grieving is a vital process and I still ache inside at the loss of my dad, every day, for more than eleven years now. It does get easier with time to mask this.
Can you plan a trip to Russia? Even if that is some way in the future. It can give you a focus to work to.
On the food front I am delighted to hear you are eating carbs again. I love cous cous too - or I did before starting LL. Very wise words from KD. Keep going girl, you're getting there. xx