Iveabigask
Skelator Here I come
A bit harsh magda?
Minerva's on a mission!!
- Thread starter Minerva
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Iveabigask
Skelator Here I come
Min chill out. You've nothing to be sorry for. Everyone has feelings, some of them good some of them not. It's everyone's right to express them in a suitable way and as they see fit. If youre style is to be blunt, then that's you.
HannahNewton
Loves to post
Gosh!
We start off on here, typing away into the ether, all our "stuff". However, as time goes on we start to build an online rapport and friendship with the folk who we relate to and empathise with.
I guess what can seem kind words and well meant advice when it is given, has not been asked for is not always received in the way it was intended.
Its the drama triangle playing out online!
Please continue to express yourself Minerva and feel safe to do so here.
If anyone reads it and relates to it - their feedback is meant from the heart and often, as we are all doing this for very similar reasons - we will often recognise a piece of ourselves in what is said and done and reach out to try to soften one another's pain. xxx
We start off on here, typing away into the ether, all our "stuff". However, as time goes on we start to build an online rapport and friendship with the folk who we relate to and empathise with.
I guess what can seem kind words and well meant advice when it is given, has not been asked for is not always received in the way it was intended.
Its the drama triangle playing out online!
Please continue to express yourself Minerva and feel safe to do so here.
If anyone reads it and relates to it - their feedback is meant from the heart and often, as we are all doing this for very similar reasons - we will often recognise a piece of ourselves in what is said and done and reach out to try to soften one another's pain. xxx
Iveabigask
Skelator Here I come
What Hannah said!!!! Xxxx
MagdaX
is Magdalicious
Iveabigask said:
Is it?
Well luckily we are entitled to our own opinions and can disagree sometimes.
Minerva don't apologise. You haven't offended me. Takes much more to do that
I just wanted to make you aware that when you post on here you will get a response wether you like it or not.
Our comments came from a genuine concern about you and to be told you don't appreciate it was a little disappointing. Not attacking you like it's just been suggested.
I have always enjoyed reading your diary and I admire you greatly.
Sent from my iPhone 4 using MiniMins
Minerva
...we're sinking deeper.
Wow, a whole bunch of ...conversation while I was at dinner!
Thank you all. I had some time to think.
Well, you have the right to express your views Magda - while your comment did make me feel quite rude towards everyone and gave me a sinking heart inside... At the same time I realised that you are right. My depressing and at times over critical and bleak journal is portraying me as an extremely draining and negative person. I have taken the anonymity of the kind people here for granted in a lot of ways. We remain faceless - and so, we feel we can take that to an extreme. We can also misinterpret words... They do say sarcasm doesn't carry through text! Same principle applies with emotions and how things are said here.
While I don't feel quite safe exposing my inner self here anymore, I promise to be far more sensitive to those browsing. I can't say everything in my head and always be awfully pessimistic - because we all have sh*t days and to read about someone else's awfulness is the last thing we'd like. Of course, the choice of the viewer is indeed to stop reading and move on - I can appreciate that. But I suppose, it is also my duty to provide something of relevance to the content of this particular forum. So, I will try to keep it to the every day, the diet-ing woes and other cute tid-bits.
I do promise one thing though - in person I am nowhere near as depressing! Hard to believe, but really!
Thanks again for all your support. It really does mean a lot to me that people are worried. In fact I worry about all of you lot too, I guess this spiral happened because of Splenda's news recently. She's such an inspiration and when tragedy strikes someone, I can't help but get affected. She's in my thoughts everyday. Same with Spangly. I don't write in her journal, but her struggles with her OH and life have also touched me... Other people's slips and bumps also have concerned me... Strange the way things affect us - even though it has nothing to do with our own personal lives. We don't know each other - yet we do care. We worry. We try to help. Guess I forget that equally you may all feel the same towards me too.
x
Thank you all.
I had some time to think.Well, you have the right to express your views Magda - while your comment did make me feel quite rude towards everyone and gave me a sinking heart inside... At the same time I realised that you are right. My depressing and at times over critical and bleak journal is portraying me as an extremely draining and negative person. I have taken the anonymity of the kind people here for granted in a lot of ways. We remain faceless - and so, we feel we can take that to an extreme. We can also misinterpret words... They do say sarcasm doesn't carry through text! Same principle applies with emotions and how things are said here.
While I don't feel quite safe exposing my inner self here anymore, I promise to be far more sensitive to those browsing. I can't say everything in my head and always be awfully pessimistic - because we all have sh*t days and to read about someone else's awfulness is the last thing we'd like. Of course, the choice of the viewer is indeed to stop reading and move on - I can appreciate that. But I suppose, it is also my duty to provide something of relevance to the content of this particular forum. So, I will try to keep it to the every day, the diet-ing woes and other cute tid-bits.
I do promise one thing though - in person I am nowhere near as depressing! Hard to believe, but really!
Thanks again for all your support. It really does mean a lot to me that people are worried. In fact I worry about all of you lot too, I guess this spiral happened because of Splenda's news recently. She's such an inspiration and when tragedy strikes someone, I can't help but get affected. She's in my thoughts everyday. Same with Spangly. I don't write in her journal, but her struggles with her OH and life have also touched me... Other people's slips and bumps also have concerned me... Strange the way things affect us - even though it has nothing to do with our own personal lives. We don't know each other - yet we do care. We worry. We try to help. Guess I forget that equally you may all feel the same towards me too.
x
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Minerva
...we're sinking deeper.
Iveabigask
Skelator Here I come
MagdaX said:Is it?
Well luckily we are entitled to our own opinions and can disagree sometimes.
Minerva don't apologise. You haven't offended me. Takes much more to do that
I just wanted to make you aware that when you post on here you will get a response wether you like it or not.
Our comments came from a genuine concern about you and to be told you don't appreciate it was a little disappointing. Not attacking you like it's just been suggested.
I have always enjoyed reading your diary and I admire you greatly.
Sent from my iPhone 4 using MiniMins
I feel it was a bit harsh yes. I agree that we can disagree from time to time however I feel it's important to be sensitive to others feelings .
MagdaX
is Magdalicious
Sorry but you telling I'm insensitive to other people's feelings is a bit harsh not my comment.
It seems you completely misunderstood my post. It's cool as it doesn't really matter so long Minerva knows what I meant and that I didn't intend to offend her.
I apologise if you didn't like what I had to say.
Sent from my iPhone 4 using MiniMins
It seems you completely misunderstood my post. It's cool as it doesn't really matter so long Minerva knows what I meant and that I didn't intend to offend her.
I apologise if you didn't like what I had to say.
Sent from my iPhone 4 using MiniMins
Iveabigask
Skelator Here I come
MagdaX said:
I think you should read my post again, as I didn't say you were insensitive. Youe personalising it. Also it's not that I didnt like what you said, I just commented that I felt it was a bit harsh given how mins feeling at the moment.
Iveabigask
Skelator Here I come
Lol it's cool
Minerva
...we're sinking deeper.
Ok! As Jeremy Clarkson so famously says: "And on that bombshell..." ...we'll leave the rest of all the misunderstandings and negativity on the other page. It's gone now! Yes, what Magda said was a little harsh, but I knew she didn't mean to hurt me. She was saying the truth - something we don't like to hear very often. Thank you Ivea for sticking up for me/and freedom of expression, I appreciate it, it made me feel less awful about my own journal and put things into perspective. Thank you both and to the other ladies that posted. All is good, lets look forward to the SPA in London with no hard feelings! xx
The sun is shining, I'm going to go out enjoy my unemployed life for now (going to start seriously applying for jobs over the weekend... eeek!!) and gonna go to John Lewis to get some picture hooks and plate wall holders and frames. I am going to decorate this damn house even if it's not ready. Making holes and knocking nails into walls is always therapeutic.
I've recently found some cross stitch my babushka (Russian Grandma) did when she was in her 20's, so I will try to put them up. I've also taken to try to design my own cross stitch sampler, personalised to the new house. Arts and crafts are fun. Less depressing than my pencil drawn things. Lots of projects to get stuck into, books to read, things to do...
Also have a vet appointment for my poor little cat, we think he's got asthma. Poor Catbert (stupid name my OH gave him...).
Also, interesting things always come up in conversation between my stepmum and I... I've always had an extremely small cleavage, just never been blessed with anything bigger than an A or B and they're just very ... droopy and flat on top. She suggested that I could benefit from a boob-job to boost my confidence. (She didn't say it in a bad way btw!). I guess I can see what she means, I have never felt like a woman and padded bras or those inserts that wobble around (or fall out!!) are lumpy and don't look good. But it's too expensive for what it is and surgery is traumatic in itself. The expense is what worries me the most - I always feel spending so much money on something to TRIVIAL is unwarranted... Then again, would it give me more confidence for the rest of my life? I have to wonder. I do know that ALL of my confidence is tied to the way I look. But isn't everyone's? Don't know... Hard decision... For now she's suggested going to Rigby & Peller to get a properly fitting bra instead of the £15 special from some rubbish shop that doesn't even fit.
Such stupid things to worry about. Apart from the more serious ones below the surface that I won't mention.
All is good, lets look forward to the SPA in London with no hard feelings! xxThe sun is shining, I'm going to go out enjoy my unemployed life for now (going to start seriously applying for jobs over the weekend... eeek!!) and gonna go to John Lewis to get some picture hooks and plate wall holders and frames. I am going to decorate this damn house even if it's not ready. Making holes and knocking nails into walls is always therapeutic.
I've recently found some cross stitch my babushka (Russian Grandma) did when she was in her 20's, so I will try to put them up.
I've also taken to try to design my own cross stitch sampler, personalised to the new house. Arts and crafts are fun. Less depressing than my pencil drawn things. Lots of projects to get stuck into, books to read, things to do... Also have a vet appointment for my poor little cat, we think he's got asthma. Poor Catbert (stupid name my OH gave him...).
Also, interesting things always come up in conversation between my stepmum and I... I've always had an extremely small cleavage, just never been blessed with anything bigger than an A or B and they're just very ... droopy and flat on top. She suggested that I could benefit from a boob-job to boost my confidence. (She didn't say it in a bad way btw!). I guess I can see what she means, I have never felt like a woman and padded bras or those inserts that wobble around (or fall out!!) are lumpy and don't look good. But it's too expensive for what it is and surgery is traumatic in itself. The expense is what worries me the most - I always feel spending so much money on something to TRIVIAL is unwarranted... Then again, would it give me more confidence for the rest of my life? I have to wonder. I do know that ALL of my confidence is tied to the way I look. But isn't everyone's?
Don't know... Hard decision... For now she's suggested going to Rigby & Peller to get a properly fitting bra instead of the £15 special from some rubbish shop that doesn't even fit. Such stupid things to worry about.
Apart from the more serious ones below the surface that I won't mention. Min, I hope you continue to express whatever you feel in your journal without fear of being perceived as negative ... your previous journals have been enormously interesting and instructive to follow, precisely because you were so honest and thoughtful. This is a rare quality, you know, in a world full of fake plastic smiles and never saying what we really feel. It's your space, and as you rightly point out, nobody is forced to read it - its primarily a place for you to get your feelings out because that is helpful to you, regardless of how it appears to anyone else.
As ever, I've found it a very interesting read, and actually I can quite understand your feelings about not wanting to be told to seek help, lighten up, not be so negative and so on. We all have a right to feel our feelings, even if they're not particularly happy. That capacity to be honest in your expression is a valuable one, so don't lose it.
I also understand your comment in a previous entry about finding it hard to be told to 'love yourself', I totally agree - personally I think it's far more important to try to understand yourself, because until you do that, you can't accept yourself.
Anyway hon, glad to have found your new journal and caught up on how you're doing, look forward to coming back and seeing how things are going.
As ever, I've found it a very interesting read, and actually I can quite understand your feelings about not wanting to be told to seek help, lighten up, not be so negative and so on. We all have a right to feel our feelings, even if they're not particularly happy. That capacity to be honest in your expression is a valuable one, so don't lose it.
I also understand your comment in a previous entry about finding it hard to be told to 'love yourself', I totally agree - personally I think it's far more important to try to understand yourself, because until you do that, you can't accept yourself.
Anyway hon, glad to have found your new journal and caught up on how you're doing, look forward to coming back and seeing how things are going.
gracielou09
Silver Member
Hi Min,
I'm always nervous posting on your diary ...only because your so articulate and very deep, nothing wrong with that hun, I just dont feel I am articulate enough and have anything of value that would help you, so even though I've not posted much I do read your diary. This is where i came across something I could relate too...........
I just wanted to share with you (your honoured as I dont share this with many lol) But I had my nose many years ago, nothing major just the bump removed. I could have had any nose I wanted once I was under but chose not to change it too much. Anyways I knew my nose affected my confidence but it wasnt until I had it done did I realise how much it affected me. My confidence rocketed and I was so much happier.
I know there are worse things in life than a bump on the nose be we all have the right to be happy or as happy as we can be. If you want it done huni you do it, dont feel guilty and its not trivial if it affects you and your happiness chick.
xxx
I'm always nervous posting on your diary ...only because your so articulate and very deep, nothing wrong with that hun, I just dont feel I am articulate enough and have anything of value that would help you, so even though I've not posted much I do read your diary. This is where i came across something I could relate too...........
I just wanted to share with you (your honoured as I dont share this with many
lol) But I had my nose many years ago, nothing major just the bump removed. I could have had any nose I wanted once I was under but chose not to change it too much. Anyways I knew my nose affected my confidence but it wasnt until I had it done did I realise how much it affected me. My confidence rocketed and I was so much happier. I know there are worse things in life than a bump on the nose be we all have the right to be happy or as happy as we can be. If you want it done huni you do it, dont feel guilty and its not trivial if it affects you and your happiness chick.
xxx
Minerva
...we're sinking deeper.
You know? This comment makes me sad. It's been on my mind for a few days... The issue is that MOST people I meet feel this way and as a consequence don't talk to me at all... It makes me very lonely. I've had to adapt the way I talk to people and behave - so that it doesn't happen as often. But, I get tired of having to do it all the time... I bend my personality to suit everyone around me, changing my sense of humour in accordance to what they find funny, changing which slang I use... Even my accent changes depending on how comfortable I am around someone. I'm not even doing it consciously anymore, it just happens... but the air of fakeness drains me... and here, I write as I am.
Don't be scared to say something. I don't judge.
I am extremely grateful for the insight you gave me on your own procedure! It was enlightening. I'm very intrigued that such a small change had long lasting happiness and increase in confidence. Strange how our image has such a deep impact. It's certainly given me food for thought over my own thing... I may consider it when I reach a more 'happy weight'... I think it'll be a bigger incentive to maintain because I'll have much more to protect, instead of feeling like a freak. Confidence is such a big motivator!
Min, I hope you continue to express whatever you feel in your journal without fear of being perceived as negative ... your previous journals have been enormously interesting and instructive to follow, precisely because you were so honest and thoughtful. This is a rare quality, you know, in a world full of fake plastic smiles and never saying what we really feel. It's your space, and as you rightly point out, nobody is forced to read it - its primarily a place for you to get your feelings out because that is helpful to you, regardless of how it appears to anyone else.
As ever, I've found it a very interesting read, and actually I can quite understand your feelings about not wanting to be told to seek help, lighten up, not be so negative and so on. We all have a right to feel our feelings, even if they're not particularly happy. That capacity to be honest in your expression is a valuable one, so don't lose it.
I also understand your comment in a previous entry about finding it hard to be told to 'love yourself', I totally agree - personally I think it's far more important to try to understand yourself, because until you do that, you can't accept yourself.
Anyway hon, glad to have found your new journal and caught up on how you're doing, look forward to coming back and seeing how things are going.
Elizabeth !!! (((hug))) How are you!!! I'd been thinking about you. (no, not in a creepy way...). Thank you as ever for your kind words, I always know that you understand me somehow. I know you've been to these places too. You're ... as it were, on the same level and you've always made me feel less lonely.
Unfortunately it seems that being negative is just not socially acceptable. But, should I care? I don't know. But, then again, some of the greatest artists were not without their manic depressive streaks. I have found the greatest creativity even in myself has come from deep and dark places. No one liked it. When I did Art Foundation, my art was different to everyone elses. And people hated it because it made them feel vulnerable. It made them feel emotions they didn't like. It touched them in ways they felt fear of. Isn't that what it's all about though? Making someone feel something within this globally emotionless world. And if my writing can do that... surely that's an interesting thing in itself.
People live such seperate lives now, plugged into computer and tv screens. Plugged into their iPods on the street. At least the sunny weather seems to get people talking to strangers on the street again. It's so lovely.
People have forgotten how to talk these days. ... God, I'm speaking as if I'm a pensioner... yet I'm only turning 25 this Friday.
Question of the day... Do you believe people have 'old' souls? Or souls at all?
I'm not religious, but I believe in some sort of life force. There has to be something... something beyond these meat suits.
So... do you?
gracielou09
Silver Member
Hey Min,
You mistook my point chick...I feel inadequate when I post on your diary ...nothing to do with you hun. I read your diary with intrigue, but I find myself question my intellect because your so full of thought and insite...I wish I could express myself like you ...thats all chick.
You should never change who you are.
I'm so sorryif i've upset you...see what I mean ...I cant even articulate thats its my own inadequecies ...nothing to do with you lovely.
I hope you understand now what I meant.God I hope you do as I feel awful now
I promise to post ...if you can put up with my wenglish
xxxx
You mistook my point chick...I feel inadequate when I post on your diary ...nothing to do with you hun. I read your diary with intrigue, but I find myself question my intellect because your so full of thought and insite...I wish I could express myself like you ...thats all chick.
You should never change who you are.
I'm so sorryif i've upset you...see what I mean ...I cant even articulate thats its my own inadequecies ...nothing to do with you lovely.
I hope you understand now what I meant.God I hope you do as I feel awful now
I promise to post ...if you can put up with my wenglish
xxxx
gracielou09
Silver Member
Have you ever read 'Many lives, Many Masters....its about regression and the many lives we have previously....we keep coming back until we learn.... Made me think I have to say. Worth a read hun. I defo believe there's something more powerful than what we are ...not sure what shape or form it is or whether its just energy ...but lke you say there has to be more
PS sorry about the spelling ...trying to write a presentation and my head is in the shed so to speak.
xx
xxxx
Minerva
...we're sinking deeper.
Hey Min,
You mistook my point chick...I feel inadequate when I post on your diary ...nothing to do with you hun. I read your diary with intrigue, but I find myself question my intellect because your so full of thought and insite...I wish I could express myself like you ...thats all chick.
You should never change who you are.
I'm so sorryif i've upset you...see what I mean ...I cant even articulate thats its my own inadequecies ...nothing to do with you lovely.
I hope you understand now what I meant.God I hope you do as I feel awful now
I promise to post ...if you can put up with my wenglish
xxxx
You didn't upset me! You see, text can be misinterpreted very easily.
I didn't get offended at all. I was just lamenting the fact that the way I speak - makes most people look at me funny. I've had it said to me many times - that they don't quite know how to talk to me. I've even had guys not want to go out with me because they didn't feel 'on the same level'! Said they didn't know if they would have anything in common. So, no worries about that.
Just something I need to .. erm, be aware of on the every day basis.
