gracielou09
Silver Member
phew ...feel better now 
xxx
xxx
Minerva's on a mission!!
- Thread starter Minerva
- Start date
Minerva
...we're sinking deeper.
I haven't read the book, but the concept is familiar to me. I believe it comes from the Buddhist school of thought? That souls need to learn the lessons that they have come to earth for.
Before my mum died, as far as I know she had a similar belief, that our souls go into animals and get recycled over and over. Some of my childhood I wondered what sort of animal I'd like to become when I die. I believe I settled on a deer or a lynx in the end. Or a tree. I love trees, I know it's not an animal (obviously!), but they have such powerful energy. I listen to the rustle of leaves in the wind and it makes me calm. I listen to what they tell me. It's... soothing.
What is the presentation on?
I can tell you're working hard.. heee hee. Don't worry, MiniMins and Facebook proved an extremely useful distraction and brain-relaxer when I was studying too! Good luck with your work!!
gracielou09
Silver Member
I have a job interview wed and have to do a presentation on why i'm the best candidate for the role.....but i only have 10 mins at the begining. Jeeezzz!!!
Cos I am just wont cut it lol
I'm normally in bed by 10, well i am in bed but not sleeping...poor hubby is watching tv downstairs.
I wont be long though ...very tired.
You normally a late person?
xx
Cos I am just wont cut it lol
I'm normally in bed by 10, well i am in bed but not sleeping...poor hubby is watching tv downstairs.
I wont be long though ...very tired.
You normally a late person?
xx
Minerva
...we're sinking deeper.
Yep, I'm usually up until about 1am - 2am. But, it's simply because I have the luxury of getting up at 10am at the moment. The joys of unemployment! But, been applying for quite a few things today, so will keep on doing it.
Good luck with your interview!! Tell me how it goes. I'm a novice at interviews and stuff - the world of employment after so much academia is rather... daunting.
As far as presentations go - confidence is everything. Content is only half of it. Smile and OWN the room. Maybe even imagine them naked. It'll help. Hehheheheh.
Good luck with your interview!! Tell me how it goes.
I'm a novice at interviews and stuff - the world of employment after so much academia is rather... daunting. As far as presentations go - confidence is everything. Content is only half of it. Smile and OWN the room. Maybe even imagine them naked. It'll help.
Hehheheheh.
Minerva
...we're sinking deeper.
Hi Mags The Lite isn't going anywhere - I'm more doing my own thing, calorie counting and replacing one or two meals with a pack. Still following the 'allowed' food list completely (with exception of a few chewing gums every once in a while). The exercise... I really need and should do some, I've been lazy with it. How is your regime going? And what sort of plan are you following? A Lite version? Or? I think because you've been doing Total - you should be a little bit careful, your body's metabolism will have slowed down a bit so, a very slow approach is needed... But I know you're qell equipped to make sensible and 'adult' decisions, you'll be ok.
As for... meh. I'm feeling very fed up! I think most people's diaries reflect this at the moment, not sure why. We just want things NOW and because it's coming up to summer, I guess many of us were just expecting to be further along than we are... I know weight loss is a slow process and I generally feel better, fitter, more confident... But, visually it doesn't match to where I think I am. Photos and reflections are still nowhere near what I want them to be. It is frustrating. Plus, feeling more bloated than usual, not having anywhere near as much self-control as I would like, also come into it. Then being frustrated about job searching - which in itself is painful and having no experience, no one even looks at me twice. I feel worthless as a person. Just have to keep on trying, eventually something will come. I hope.
The Lite isn't going anywhere - I'm more doing my own thing, calorie counting and replacing one or two meals with a pack. Still following the 'allowed' food list completely (with exception of a few chewing gums every once in a while). The exercise... I really need and should do some, I've been lazy with it. How is your regime going? And what sort of plan are you following? A Lite version? Or? I think because you've been doing Total - you should be a little bit careful, your body's metabolism will have slowed down a bit so, a very slow approach is needed... But I know you're qell equipped to make sensible and 'adult' decisions, you'll be ok. As for... meh. I'm feeling very fed up! I think most people's diaries reflect this at the moment, not sure why. We just want things NOW and because it's coming up to summer, I guess many of us were just expecting to be further along than we are... I know weight loss is a slow process and I generally feel better, fitter, more confident... But, visually it doesn't match to where I think I am. Photos and reflections are still nowhere near what I want them to be. It is frustrating. Plus, feeling more bloated than usual, not having anywhere near as much self-control as I would like, also come into it. Then being frustrated about job searching - which in itself is painful and having no experience, no one even looks at me twice. I feel worthless as a person. Just have to keep on trying, eventually something will come. I hope.
Minerva
...we're sinking deeper.
It's my birthday on Friday. I turn 25. I'm not celebrating as my OH has exams and coursework to do and I'm not fussed. I can't say birthdays are all that exciting - I think for the last few years I refused to celebrate because I didn't want to involve food (to break 'tradition'). I think 2 years ago I went to the Victoria and Albert museum which was nice, but very tiring. I forget that most of the celebration is actually for other people!! Not for me. So, by refusing to partake I was denying them the pleasure. Lol. How strange.
This year I will make the effort to arrange something, I believe I actually was looking at doing this: A pottery day course! Shirley Stewart's Pottery Courses - Pottery Parties
And as for more naughty celebrations... I'm going to Latvia in mid-June - which means going home to all the lovely and wonderful tastes of 'home' - and seeing that it's usually just once a year... well. I won't be trying *tooo* hard to stick to my diet - within reason of course!
For personal gifts... I was naughty. I bought myself some things that are perhaps too expensive, I hate spending money - but do it too often. I bought some wonderful Hush Puppies' shoes: (and one was on special deal!!)
These: (In Black Multi-Leather) Hushpuppies | Store | Vanessa
And these: Hushpuppies | Store | Gemma
Sooooo pretty. And then I bought a dress: Petite Purple Spot Dress - All Dresses - Dresses - Womens Fashion - Wallis
I can't wait to wear it.
...and then... in an ongoing effort to make myself feel more confident, I am attempting to experiment with make-up and have some sort of daily routine going with it, so that I feel more "pretty" - it does help in a way. In my latest attempt, I bought an epilator. Painful thing to do on a leg that's rather like a forest! I mean, why would I shave if no one ever sees my legs? I suppose, now I have no excuse to keep hiding them. And no excuse not to wear a pretty dress!! Lol. The pain is worth it, and definitely won't be as painful next time.
...Oh the adventures of the girl trying to become a woman... Sex and the city certainly is NOT me! Not that I even watch that sort of thing without feeling nauseated...
I turn 25. I'm not celebrating as my OH has exams and coursework to do and I'm not fussed. I can't say birthdays are all that exciting - I think for the last few years I refused to celebrate because I didn't want to involve food (to break 'tradition'). I think 2 years ago I went to the Victoria and Albert museum which was nice, but very tiring. I forget that most of the celebration is actually for other people!! Not for me. So, by refusing to partake I was denying them the pleasure. Lol. How strange. This year I will make the effort to arrange something, I believe I actually was looking at doing this: A pottery day course! Shirley Stewart's Pottery Courses - Pottery Parties
And as for more naughty celebrations... I'm going to Latvia in mid-June - which means going home to all the lovely and wonderful tastes of 'home' - and seeing that it's usually just once a year... well. I won't be trying *tooo* hard to stick to my diet - within reason of course!
For personal gifts... I was naughty.
I bought myself some things that are perhaps too expensive, I hate spending money - but do it too often. I bought some wonderful Hush Puppies' shoes: (and one was on special deal!!) These: (In Black Multi-Leather) Hushpuppies | Store | Vanessa
And these: Hushpuppies | Store | Gemma
Sooooo pretty. And then I bought a dress: Petite Purple Spot Dress - All Dresses - Dresses - Womens Fashion - Wallis
I can't wait to wear it.
...and then... in an ongoing effort to make myself feel more confident, I am attempting to experiment with make-up and have some sort of daily routine going with it, so that I feel more "pretty" - it does help in a way. In my latest attempt, I bought an epilator. Painful thing to do on a leg that's rather like a forest! I mean, why would I shave if no one ever sees my legs? I suppose, now I have no excuse to keep hiding them.
And no excuse not to wear a pretty dress!! Lol. The pain is worth it, and definitely won't be as painful next time. ...Oh the adventures of the girl trying to become a woman... Sex and the city certainly is NOT me! Not that I even watch that sort of thing without feeling nauseated...
Clarabow
Silver Member
I once watched sex and the city, boxed set all the way through. In my defence I was off work with a back injury and pretty desparate for entertainment. I can only say afterwards I felt suicidal. It looks pretty but sheeesh as for content, approach with caution.
Enjoy playing with the girly things. They are fun if they are a choice rather than an expectation or an obligation. x
Enjoy playing with the girly things. They are fun if they are a choice rather than an expectation or an obligation. x
Iveabigask
Skelator Here I come
Min that dress is stunning!!! Very 1950s. Turbo cute and will be stunning on you
Happy birthday for tomorrow honey
Xxxxxxx
Happy birthday for tomorrow honey
Xxxxxxx
You're very welcome hon, I'm glad to see you still writing and thinking and working on the things you feel a need to understand. This can be a very painful process, but I suspect you feel, like me, it would be infinitely worse to NOT think and try to articulate and understand. I'm far more scared of sinking into silence than I am of venturing into the dark lands.
It's funny how you can catch echoes of yourself in someone you've never met, isn't it - you remind me in some ways of myself at a similar age, though you're much more self-aware and certainly much braver. You are really a remarkably thoughtful young woman, in the truest sense of that word. At the moment I suspect you feel a bit like you're trying to walk through treacle in moonboots, but every step you take is valuable in the long-term.
Personally I do, very much so. I come from a religious background and although I left my Christian upbringing behind whilst still quite young, I've continued to study and draw from spiritual beliefs of various colours, to the point where I've arrived at my own personal understanding now, in my middle age. I do believe we are much more than the human aspect that's visible and tangible - we are souls on an evolutionary journey, from darkness to light. And that journey is long and eventful. There's a belief in Spiritualism that we choose to come into our particular lives with foreknowledge of the things we will undergo, and we make that choice based on things we need to understand to progress our souls. I subscribe to that theory, and try to remember it when times are extremely tough.
Talking of old souls, I was born with one solitary birthmark, a streak of silver in my black hair, and apparently the Irish nurses in the maternity hospital used to fight to hold me because they believed it was the sign of an old soul.
Happy Birthday for tomorrow Min, I hope you have a beautiful and interesting day whatever you decide to do.
HannahNewton
Loves to post
Happy Birthday Minerva!! 
xx
xx
Minerva
...we're sinking deeper.
Thank you for all the birthday wishes!! I had a very quiet birthday, I didn't really celebrate. I went out for a walk to Central London in the daytime, bought myself some amazing perfume - from a shop opposite Selfridges. The shop is called 'Arabian Oud' and is specialises in oil based scents... A few years ago, a salesman dotted some on me - and the smell just stayed with me for so long... Plus, unlike perfumes on the high street - these actually don't evaporate anywhere near as quickly! Plus, it was a 50% off sale, how could I resist an exceptional perfume - priced from £80 down to £40??! On my birthday!! Fat chance.
In the evening my boyfriend's family came over for a cup of coffee and they gave me some presents. That was nice. I haven't broken my diet at all yet - tomorrow is the only time I will! I'm going to a restaurant with my partner's and my family, it will be nice. I'm staying away from mainstream carbs (potato/rice/bread), but not going to worry about anything else and may have a glass of wine.
With every ounce of self-confidence I get, I finally am learning my style, what I feel comfortable wearing. More and more I HATE jeans and t-shirts, I feel so ... frumpy in them. So ... unfeminine. Maybe I am getting swayed too much by my style icon - Kirstie Allsopp! She's SO beautiful. Maybe it's because when I first saw her years ago, she subconsciously reminded me of my mum. They look a little bit alike, but I didn't really realise this... All her dresses and petticoats and vintage style which I've always loved suddenly have a real presence. I'm SO glad vintage is back in fashion, I get to buy it all now and wear it even when it falls out of fashion!! Happy me.
Plus, the very fact that Kirstie isn't a very thin lady - helps me realise that keeping at least some curves is a good thing!! It made me think about my own weight target and when I was down that low, I wasn't actually happy. I lose all my breasts, my ass, my hips... I want to keep them to some extent, so I think I will be tweaking my target up to 10stone rather than 9. So, I have to lose just 1 stone!! Yay me. I'm happy with that. I'm starting to feel good now, so 1 more stone should do it.
http://beebeesvintagedress.blogspot.com/2010/12/kirstie-allsopp-style-inspiration.html
On a more serious medical note, I've been to the doctor recently. I will write about that in more detail later, as soon as I know the results of the blood test. But, it seems that excessive dieting may have caused my oestrogen levels to drop down so low that I've gone into a menopausal state, my ovaries had stopped ovulating for a few years... oops...
Plus, it was a 50% off sale, how could I resist an exceptional perfume - priced from £80 down to £40??! On my birthday!! Fat chance. In the evening my boyfriend's family came over for a cup of coffee and they gave me some presents.
That was nice. I haven't broken my diet at all yet - tomorrow is the only time I will! I'm going to a restaurant with my partner's and my family, it will be nice. I'm staying away from mainstream carbs (potato/rice/bread), but not going to worry about anything else and may have a glass of wine. With every ounce of self-confidence I get, I finally am learning my style, what I feel comfortable wearing. More and more I HATE jeans and t-shirts, I feel so ... frumpy in them. So ... unfeminine. Maybe I am getting swayed too much by my style icon - Kirstie Allsopp! She's SO beautiful. Maybe it's because when I first saw her years ago, she subconsciously reminded me of my mum. They look a little bit alike, but I didn't really realise this... All her dresses and petticoats and vintage style which I've always loved suddenly have a real presence. I'm SO glad vintage is back in fashion, I get to buy it all now and wear it even when it falls out of fashion!! Happy me.
Plus, the very fact that Kirstie isn't a very thin lady - helps me realise that keeping at least some curves is a good thing!! It made me think about my own weight target and when I was down that low, I wasn't actually happy. I lose all my breasts, my ass, my hips... I want to keep them to some extent, so I think I will be tweaking my target up to 10stone rather than 9. So, I have to lose just 1 stone!! Yay me.
I'm happy with that. I'm starting to feel good now, so 1 more stone should do it.http://beebeesvintagedress.blogspot.com/2010/12/kirstie-allsopp-style-inspiration.html
On a more serious medical note, I've been to the doctor recently. I will write about that in more detail later, as soon as I know the results of the blood test. But, it seems that excessive dieting may have caused my oestrogen levels to drop down so low that I've gone into a menopausal state, my ovaries had stopped ovulating for a few years... oops...
Clarabow
Silver Member
Loving the vintage style Min. It will so suit your presentation. Have a look at some of the burlesque stuff for ideas also as that tends to be quite retro and glam. Very useful when looking for ideas for a new look. I'll be going retro out at the weekend. Fitted silky dress with sweetheart neckline, with a corsett on top, little kitten heels and some nice retro necklace.
Sorry to hear about your medical issues, hope there is a positive resolution for them.
Enjoy the birthday celebrations x
Sorry to hear about your medical issues, hope there is a positive resolution for them.
Enjoy the birthday celebrations x
If that does turn out to be the case Min, the changes in your hormone levels will have played into your moods and emotions too, so it's definitely worth investigating further. I've gone into (earlyish) menopause and have found the emotional rollercoaster quite bewildering at times. I hadn't realised how the hormonal aspect was affecting me, I went to the doctor thinking my old depression from years ago had come back.
Make sure your levels of the B vitamins are good, particularly B12, as they are involved in regulating your hormone levels and can play a role in helping the low moods.
Glad you had a nice birthday, and my goodness I envy you the perfume! I'm a total perfume nut, god help me if I ever win the lottery cos it'll all go on scent!
gracielou09
Silver Member
Hi there you,
Happy belated Birthday! Hope you had a lovely time. Loving the style too!!
Sorry to hear about the medical issues. I'm sure it'll all be sorted out nowthat your doc is on the case.
xxx
Happy belated Birthday! Hope you had a lovely time. Loving the style too!!
Sorry to hear about the medical issues. I'm sure it'll all be sorted out nowthat your doc is on the case.
xxx
