Hi Bel,
I know now that when I am angry or upset I actually "feel" hungry. I discovered this when I did LL. I had been going to the meetings and doing the homework -- but it wasn't until I was having a bad argument with my teenage son and all of a sudden I was ravenous --at that moment, I realized that for years I'd been swallowing my emotions by forcing them back with food. I stopped the argument cold -- and told my son what I was feeling and said, "If YOU are embarassed by me being overweight and looking slovenly; if YOU are worried about the effects that being overweight has on my health; if YOU wish I could be a more energetic mom for your younger sister, etc. then stop aggravating me and learn to communicate in a less advisarial manner."
I told him, "If you treated me better, I might be able to treat myself better. I might be able to stop overeating out of anger." He actually listened and was more supportive after that. We have had our moments since then, there were quite a few over the past year when we butted heads, but our relationship seems to be better than ever. (He is growing up!
)
Anyway, I made the big weight gain in 1994 - 95 because I moved to the UK and suffered from Seasonal Affective Disorder. Once it diagonosed and I did what I could to deal with the condition I stopped gaining, but I was never able to lose the 3 stone entirely, and the 1 to 1.5 that I did lose (over and over again)always came back.
I lost all the weight doing LL -- got back to what I weighed when I got off the plane in 1994 -- 133 (and then even lost a few more pounds, which was less than I had weighed since before I had my son). But, I knew enough to know that it would not stay off if I did not change my eating habits (food choices and quantities) and continue exercising at least three times a week.
I kept it off for some time (almost a year), and first thing to go was the fitness classes (bad snow lots of cancellations -- but I could have done something at home: I just did not). Then, it became bigger portions, second helpings, boredom eating, social eating, etc.
I would say to myself (about the pound or two a month I gained)"It's not that bad, I was little too thin. My clothes still fit. When I get to ... I will go on a diet." And, so forth. This continued until I was back up over a stone. Then I yoyo'd for most of 2010 -- making big jumps when on holiday and not taking it all back off. I ended up having gained about half of the 5 stone I lost back before I accepted that I was going to have to go back to square one and do a committed programme in order to get it all off and start with a fresh slate working on maintaining my weight and fitness.
I am not losing as fast this time, but I did not expect to do so. So, although it is going to take me almost as long to lose 2.5 stone as it did to lose 5 I am going to try to do this without skipping any steps in the "refeeding" and "food managment process", and I am slowly integrating exercise and really trying to make it things that I can do independantly of a class/instructor, etc.
I AM going to give the Wii and Wiifit a try. Get the "craft/excercise room" sorted so that I can use the elliptical. Use the aerobic step and pedometer for free steps, then use my stepper, jump rope, Shapers walking shoes, and so forth. I need to make Fitness a part of day and has to be totally integrated. Then it will be more sustainable.
The food part should not be as difficult as it was -- I seldom drink alcohol, and only diet soda (and not a lot of that). I eat a low fat diet in general. We chose low GI foods (whole wheat bread, pasta, and Basmati rice, bean threads, etc.). We eat a lot of salads, veggies, the closer to fresh or steamed the better -- not a lot of processed foods. I do have sweet tooth and was over indulgent with regards to that -- but portion control is my downfall. I usually ate fresh heathy good food -- I just ate too much.
When I am at a bmi of 23, because of my size and age, I only need 1400 calories a day to maintain my weight. If you put the fuel needed to run a 6L Jeep in a Corsa - the overfill has to go somewhere: in my case on my bum and thighs! So, it is time to drain the tank... put less in and burn off the excess!
In the interest of "burning" I am going to have a green tea, some water and do some fitness and move on to do my chores, etc.
MinnieMel
