Nikki in ??? IT STOPS NOW!

[MinnieMel]

Hi Nikki,

I am sorry that your Mothering Sunday is a bust. But, Paul has a job (yay!), you and kids are healthier than you were (yay!), and why not celebrate American Mothers' Day on Second Sunday in May when I'll have my "day".

In all honesty, Mothers' Day was introduced by a woman who wanted a "day of remembrance" for Mothers who were no longer living (hence, a Sunday). And I am glad that you are living, and I am sure your children and DH are, too.

Mothers' Day has been totally commercialised, just like Valentines' Day, and it ends up making people feel stressed because they feel obligated to make a big whoop out it, and others feel hurt if no one does make a big whoop.

Rudely, I ask: what pills did you miss? If they were birth control, then that could be very Mothers' Day-ish. You do have awfully cute kids... but with one of each, what would you want? Another girl? Another boy? Twins?

I hope things perk up for you.

MM

 

[great things]

Just anti-depressant pills mm. Just forgot to take them 2 days in a row, might or might not be contributing to the way I am feeling.

I suppose it's just hubby working has made it worse. I am the 'sorter' of the family. I sort out things for everyone and sometimes feel very alone. I panic and stress for others. Ems has been a bit hyper today. We made cakes together and she felt fit to finger them (to see if the icing was set). This upset me as it was one each! She's been sent to her room twice and the way she speaks to me is awful. Just feeling sad. Feeling unappreciated.

 

[MinnieMel]

Oh Nikki,

I am sure it is the missed meds affecting you so much. Most anti-depressants take time to build up to certain level in the blood and I am sure that it is going to take a few days of taking them properly to get you sorted. I know how this is -- depression runs in my family. I seem to have escaped it, and if anything I kind of suffer the opposite (I am rather manic).

I hate to tell you this... but the "speaking: is going to get worse. However, I would try "I" messages with her, when I felt up to it.

As in "I" know that you love me, but "I" do not like it when someone talks to me in 'such and such' fashion. "I" get my feelings hurt and feel unloved. "I" like it so much better if when someone thinks "I" have been (unfair, mean, etc.) that they calmly say, "Please do not talk to me like that." Instead of acting out. "I" need to know what "I" can do make things work better.

In other words -- you try to personalise the message and explan how what they did made you feel, affected you, etc. Without ever saying "YOU did," "YOU were," etc. as then the child will often shut down as they feel that they are being attacked, blamed, etc.

There is an excellent parenting book called P.E.T. Parent Effectiveness Training, that is based on a model used for classroom management and student/teacher communication.

parent effectiveness training thomas gordon ebook free download

Free download for this book. The T.E.T. was my most valuable tool when I first started teaching, and I have used its principals in raising my own two children. One of whom is 19, an Eagle Scout (same as a Queen Scout), a B Uni student -- and the other is my sweet 12 year old well-behaved, polite, and hard-working daughter. Far from perfect, but they are good people and I am pleased with them most of the time.

MM

 

[Surfhunny]

Sorry to hear you've had a naff day! I'm sure your missed meds will be contributing to how you're feeling. Hopefully things will pick up once you get back on track with them.

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming (Dory - Finding Nemo) xxx

 

[great things]

i'm sure both kids will grow up well and responsible, loving people too just a hard day.

we all went for a walk when hubby came home. came back and i cooked them pizza, but the oven was too hot, it cooked on the outside but wasn't quite cooked on the inside. hubby took it off the kids as he wouldn't eat it himself.

meanwhile, dude went into hysterics and flung himself on the floor, so hubby took ems out for takeout pizza. while he was gone i picked up dude and calmed him down, took his shoes off and then found dog poo on my hand. he'd stood in some from the walk. argh! so i calmed him down whilst putting something on sky that he'd want to watch. poo on the control already. then i left him to sanitise my hand, hard job as it had semi dried. then i scrubbed the sky control with antibac wipes. like a scene from a comedy sketch.

today has been very hard work. not helped by the fact that i made cakes with ems and she fingered all of them after having a poo on the loo which she didn't flush, so probably didn't wash her hands and didn't wipe her bum. they went into the bin. feel a bit worthless today.

 

[great things]

this time last year, on mother's day, i put on a full dinner for my mum at mine with the kids and my dad. i had organised an ice-cream choc tetra but it didn't freeze in time so i had a shake instead. nothing special.

 

[great things]

diary entry from my diary last year......

"well sunday, mother's day. i got some lovely flowers, a nice card which my daughter choose and it says 'to a supermum from your son' on it and he's had to write 'and daughter' on it too. i also got to choose a limited edition mother's day chamilia bead, although i don't have a bracelet to put it on yet. i'll hopefully get that and another bead for our wedding anniversary in august.

i'm having my mum and dad over for lunch. i'm cooking. it's a good thing i've a vegetarian as we've got a nice lamb thing from M&S (i say nice, i know that my hubby'll like it and so will my parents and i know, from what he says, M&S meat is really nice). i'll just have some soup. i do wish i was eating. i'm finding the lack of eating hard going this time round whereas when i had 5 1/2st to loose i didn't. infact... last time i liked my time out of eating it was good for me. all i want to do is chew. the bars are good to chew on but they're gone in 60 seconds"

 

[MinnieMel]

Hi Nikki,

I know that it "bites" to have to organise something for yourself, but maybe you could book a Mothers' Day meal at Restaurant with vegetarian options for next year. It does seem like you are due a good one.

Re: Ems and loo bit, and Lil' Dude and poo shoe... I remember those days so well. My sympathies...

MM

 

[great things]

Busy day.

Take Ems to school
Weigh in
Phone to get paul's car booked in for a service and mot
Phone to get Ems booked onto some free activities with the council (booking her onto Zumba for kids, gymnastics and swimming)
Take dude to tumble tots
Pick up ems from school
Dart to asda
Lunch
Then after school with ems bout 3ish
Swimming with dude
Pick her up bout 5pm
Tea
Possible zumba
Tea for me
Bed

Roughly what I'm doing!

Throat has started to feel sore again! Last thing I need!!!!!

 

[Surfhunny]

How're you feeling today? Are you still taking antibiotics for your throat? If not I'd get straight back to the Docs and get some more before it gets any worse, it took 2 lots to sort my brother out when he had it at the beginning of the year!

Looks like you've got a busy day ahead. It's my first day back on normal hours and I've got the morning with LM. Lise said that the working day is totally rules by his moods! She's right, if he's in a reasonable mood everyone has a good day, if he's in a foul mood we all suffer and have to walk on eggshells. Very annoying. Wonder what kind of mood he's in today........

 

[MinnieMel]

Hi Nikki,

Sorry you are unwell. It sounds like you have a super busy going. Zumba for kids sounds like it'd be so much fun to watch! I hope you feel better soon.

MM

 

[great things]

Day was tiring. Decided against Zumba tonight as I'm casing out my throat! Was it cause i was snoring, is it back, is it the lead up to a cold etc. It looks red on each side particularly the right side which was the worst affected side. My ear is slightly painful again so I'm watching this space. If it is worse in the morning I'll phone the docs. I hope it's ok cause tomorrow is another busy day! Paul's car is in the garage, then I'm at the gym then feed kids, dude at nursery, do ems Easter bonnet with her, Paul's taking my car for a business trip then it's my hair, pick up dude, feed kids, bath, bed, maybe tv, computer who knows. So tired of late. I wake up and just want to go back to sleep. Had trouble getting to sleep last night and woke at 6.50am. Normally I'm up at 6am!

STS this week. Weigh in is 3 weeks this time. Cause my Zumba course was the day before weigh in and I'll probably weigh heavy with working out for a full day plus water etc.

 

[Surfhunny]

Good news on your STS!!! I've been shattered all day, my Sunday night insomnia is back with a vengeance, so it's definitely work related as I didn't have it at all when I was off

LM was in an astonishingly good mood today, don't know what's got into him, very chirpy, it's a bit disconcerting lol. So not a bad day at all at work. But man I'm so so tired!!! I'm going to have my K Spag Bol, nice warm bath and early night for me!

 

[great things]

Mmmmmmm I wonder 'what has got into him too!' lol very cheeky mood

 

[Surfhunny]

Hmmm usually we get to hear about his "activities" and nothing. I've come to the conclusion that he can't work with me and Lise together for some reason. Lise was off today.... I could be wrong or it could just be that he's had his leg over lol.

 

[great things]

he could have had a good weekend and it's rubbing off. might change tomorrow. just ignore him.

 

[Surfhunny]

Yep you're so right!!

 

[*Shanny*]

Nikki... i like your maintainer label thingy... x

 

[great things]

Pierce put it on so I thought I'd add it! Want to loose more bout 10lbs for Disney. I know that I'll put on so need more off.

 

[great things]

Full belly!!!! Had 2 sneaky glasses of wine and I cooked Mexican for hubby and I. Now in bed with a very over full belly. I really do not like the feeling! Bleurgh!!!!!!

Back on track tomorrow.