nikki's diary - closed...... moved over to maintenance to test the water!

[great things]

my birthday is monday. i've had a drink tonight. stuck to shakes but had 1/2 small packet of crisps due to drinking. i'm quite happy doing what i'm doing. 810 with a day off it gives me freedom and i can then sort myself out.

i've been thinking lots lately about really appreciating my life and watching what i eat and really tasting it rather than scoffing and not tasting.

it's my birthday monday, my 1 and only wish is for her to stop feeling sick and to start feeling well again.

 

[great things]

argh!!!! mum's feeling better today. it turns out they've been giving her too much meds. going to see her tonight. looking for a big improvement

 

[Surfhunny]

Ah good, hopefully she'll be feeling more like herself again!! How's the diet going? Are you finding it any easier?

 

[great things]

my diet is pants to how i used to be before xmas but not diabolical. been back on plan after yesterday. weigh in monday.

 

[Surfhunny]

Just keep plugging away at it Hun. Glad they've finally got your mums meds sorted out. They can play havoc if they're not quite right, my friends uncle had a big op before Christmas, his meds were too high and he was hallucinating and was convinced his wife was trying to kill him. Not good. So glad they've sorted your mums out.

Good luck with weigh in xx

 

[great things]

this is what was going on with my mum. she was hallucinating. she was getting too many opiates. there were ones in her spinal nerve infusion and it had a build up effect. mum get being sick, sweating too much and then passing out. it's the 'ferratin'???? in her spinal that was he problem. it's out today anyway. she's text me this morning to say she's feeling so much better. she's back to eating and is only using her morphine patch, no oral meds and is in no pain. yeah!

diet is ok. i like the 810 as i can have a little break and get back on track and i don't put anything on. i'm starting to feel that i feel good. parts of me that are just not shifting i've decided are those parts that are excess skin or loose skin and can only get moved my surgery. i feel more 'zen' with myself.

 

[leeds123]

thats good to hear nikki. glad you are zen, can you teach me how to get there?!!

 

[Surfhunny]

Zen is good, I feel a bit zen at the moment but I think that's the codeine lol. I'm so bored, I'm sitting here looking at all the housework that needs doing and I'm contemplating getting up and giving it a go but my leg hurt after just standing to make my shake just now so I guess housework is out of the question!

Have a good diet day x

 

[great things]

i wouldn't bother with housework with your dodgy leg. i can't take codeine as my mum and i are both allergic to it. i took 2 tablets over a day and was so out of it i was thinking i was looking at myself out of my body. my face and lips go numb and i'm in space.

 

[cornishkez]

Snap, my mum and grandad are allergic to it and the last time i took it, it was as though I was sat on the sofa, but the room was 20ft long and all the voices etc were muffled, like I was outside of the room looking in. Was very, very strange!

 

[Surfhunny]

That's what tramadol does to me, so I'm just taking one at bed time and codeine during the day, am hoping when I get to see my gp he'll prescribe something easier to tolerate lol.

Haven't taken too much persuading about the housework, it's not going anywhere. How's your weekend been? How's your mum doing?

 

[great things]

my mum's doing really really well. she's back to herself again and no pain at all. so pleased. things are finally looking up. mind, she's now stressing about her heart op. i've told her not to worry about it yet cause they wouldn't do anything until she's recovered from this op and the time to worry is when the app for the op comes through.

my weekend's been ok. we went to york yesterday as my birthday treat although it was more for the kids as we went to the railway museum. it was nice being in york but it a real trek there down all the country roads when you come off the A19. ems was a whinge pot nelly. wish we could have not had the kids with us that day to make the best out of it all.

today we went to teesside park, enjoyable not! hubby bought me some flowers from m&s for my birthday, ems chose them and a cake for tomorrow.

i took ems to see grandma today. i got to the hospital and to the waiting room near the wards. i talked to her about grandma's poorly sick leg. something along these lines and i think she understood.

my conversation ...

ems do you know that grandma's been poorly sick! what part of her has been sick? leg. that's right. she was in lots of pain and the bugs were being really naughty. the doctors looked at her leg and the bugs were too bad so the doctors decided that some of her leg was too poorly sick. they decided that to make grandma better that they'd take away the part that was poorly. do you understand? yes. i got a mumbled response back which i wasn't sure she understood me. anyway i bashed on and said that she was ok and feels better now. i said that the leg was naughty and it now doesn't look like ours anymore. i showed her on her leg where it was different. ems then said will grandma get a new foot? so she sort of understands. i told her grandma will. i said that we were then going to see grandma but she has to be very careful with grandma and not jump on her as she's not well. i told her to be gentle with grandma. we then went in to see grandma. she was gentle and kind and kissed grandma and asked grandma if she was going to get a new foot. so job done i think. she's yet to see my mum's leg but there's loads of time for that. time for it all to sink in and for her to realise that although grandma was really ill and in loads of pain she's ok now.

 

[great things]

p.s my mum seems like she's been in pain for ages. since august last year. it's just nice to see her as almost back to normal now.

 

[Surfhunny]

Ah that's good, kids are amazing with what they understand. I know it's been a horrible thing, but it must be good to finally have your mum on the mend!!

Here's a story that'll make you smile and never look at the Angel of the North in the same way again.... My friend Em took her kids up to the Metro Centre last week, Miles is 2 and Imogen is 9 months old. As they drove past the Angel Miles started shouting "Buzz Lightyear (bu ite-ear)" and pointing at the Angel. Em said you've got to admit he has a point, it does look a bit like Buzz, lol!!

 

[great things]

that's so funny yet true!

 

[Surfhunny]

Happy birthday Nikki, hope you have a fantastic day, you deserve it xxx

 

[great things]

new pictures. love the outfit. i think it goes well with my hair too.

 

[great things]

p.s size 14 next jeans and top although the top is a little large so i could have done with the 12 but it's all just very strange sizing i think. the top is make to hang.

 

[Surfhunny]

Oooh very nice, it really suits you, and look how tiny you look!! Very inspiring x

 

[great things]

i'm not tiny lol. 14 isn't all that small really. in the great scheme of things in this area i'm probably on the slim side but around the country 14 is sort of classed as 'normal' lol. i always think of slim as a 10 and uberslim as 6 (the size 0 in the US).