This whole thing reminds me of how children learn. You known when you see them playing or trying to do something, they make a mistake and then just try again, they don't even sit around for a second telling themselves they're rubbish and can't do it. They just keep on going and that's why they learn so fast. We need to be like that too. So we lost weight and that's great. We then have a blow out and eat way too much. We can feel guilty and hate ourselves and beat ourselves up....or we can think 'ok, so I learned something from that. I'll keep going and do better next time because I understand myself more'. That's what you have to do now Elish. You didn't do anything that all of us can relate to - you don't like how eating all that stuff made you feel, but there's nothing about yourself to hate there. You just have to think what you learnt.
Great that you're back on track - don't be so hard on yourself, you've come too far for that!
Bisous,
Jude