Oh yoyo... What you went through was massive and it can hit you when you least expect it... Even when you think you're fine, sometimes WHAM. Don't feel bad, and don't stray from here coz everyone loves reading about your success and motivational posts... Briefly, I kind of get where you're coming from, I had an undiagnosed ectopic pregnancy last year, went into hospital as felt so unwell / faint etc, they thought it was just early stage symptoms, nearly sent me home but luckily kept me in... 3am and it ruptured and I lost 5 pints of blood, I'm very lucky to be here. Now we weren't trying and hadn't got long to get used to the idea, but it still messed us both up a bit. Even now, sometimes it still just hits me. I don't think I took the time to fully come to terms with what had happened, I was discharged from hospital on Thursday afternoon and was back at work on the Monday! What I'm trying to say is don't be too hard on yourself, your mind and body are both coming to terms with a massive shock. And don't feel bad for avoiding pregnant friends, but equally, try to push yourself to see them and share their happiness, all of my friends seem to be starting families now too, I hope the counselling helps with that too. Take care honey x x