SA's 810 and beyond diary a.k.a My daily kick up my own behind ;-)

[Serena A]

Serena your quote today has made a point for me too. I have realised that I chose to start changing my life as I wasn't happy with a part of it, my weight, which contributed to some depression etc.

I also had some thoughts of "i'm not going to get to my holiday goal in 29 days!" "what should or can i do?" Overall going to stick to things for another 19 days as body is used to the routine and the plateau will budge naturally and I feel at this stage it is better to stick with what's working and see it through, then do 10 days of refeeding. When I return I will from holiday I will not have far to go and if I stick to what I'm doing now my body shouldn't take long to get back into the swing of things and goal will be right around the corner!!!

Your post is encouraging hun! Thank you.

Bren

You have 5lbs and KD definitely has shed some light as with others and not wanting to do this loosing thing again!

Hiya Bren

You sound really positive and I'm sure that you will enjoy a fab holiday and find that balance between making the most of it without the food aspect being dominant either way. And then like you say you'll have goal to look forward to when you come back - so exciting for you!

xx

 

[Serena A]

Love your thought for the day too, made me say in my head -
"Yes i have the courage!!!!"

xxx

Glad it struck a chord with someone else too - I liked that one a lot

 

[penny35]

Just dropping by darling, hope your well, and that you have had a better day today.

 

[Serena A]

Hey Penny

I'm ok thanks, hope you are ok and not feeling too lonely xx

 

[Serena A]

Day 30

Had an okay day today. Went out and bought a digital camera, at some point I will make myself look presentable and take some more piccies. It's not that I like looking at myself (I don't) but it helps me to have hard evidence of what I actually look like now, plus the novelty of having a photo taken without having to angle myself in a certain way to hide the flab (in vain of course ) has not worn off yet!

Whilst in town I had the joy of trying on two different pairs of size 10 jeans in New Look only to find they were too big! A size 8 was a bit on the snug side but I bought it anyway as I keep making the mistake of buying stuff that fits perfectly only to have it hanging off a couple of weeks later. I can still squeeze into the size 8s now without cutting off my air supply or looking like a stumpy salami but they should fit just right by the time I get to target.

I am so, so pleased that I didn't jack it all in 3 days ago when I was feeling down. If I had then at this very moment I would be on day 3 of an extended binge; I know my previous self well enough to be sure of that.

My desire to quit CD/maintenance has eased (for now at least) - to think I could have sentenced myself to yet another cycle of yo-yo dieting for the sake of hanging in there just a couple more days...scary stuff.

Thought for the day:

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realise how close they were to success when they gave up."

 

[Katycakes]

OOOOOOOHHHHH.... size 8!!!! You star!!!! Size 8... haven't been that size since I was about 8!!!! That must be the fabbest feeling honey. Have just spent half an hour reading the maintenance threads and feel lots more motivated, had a greedy day today and talked myself into lots of little cheats, ie: doesn't count if it's a CD bar (yes it does when it's the 2nd in one day & cals are heading skywards...) Not binge-stuff or anything, but still sneakily dangerous, has to stop. 810 is full of challenges.

So now I am re-motivated, thanks to you, Lostris & Lelly! Thank you. And I LOVE your thought for the day, want to make it my thought for EVERY day.

xxx

 

[Serena A]

Thank you Katy!

I'm so pleased you are feeling re-motivated again and I know what you mean about the little cheats - a few weeks ago I had a CD bar "binge" myself and ate three in a row or something ridiculous like that despite the fact that on paper I had stuck to CD that day.

The main thing was that I learnt I could slip up without using it as an excuse to fall off the wagon entirely, which was a major change in behaviour for me and, remembering some of your posts from a few months back, I am sure it is for you too. But what I also had to bear in mind was that my new-found ability to get straight back on track wasn't a green light to keep repeating those cheats just because I had learnt how to forgive myself!

Sigh...but we will do this!

xx

 

[edibeedee]

Serena, I feel you girl, I know I am emotional about this phase and I am hanging on by my fingertips at the mo but I AM hanging on. Well done on you hanging on. Size 8! well done, I know it feels so good. I see that the old urges are still there and it matters how we deal with them. I have to remember to look ast the big picture. I am still losing. Guess I got a bit spoiled with my SS loss numbers. Oh well it is my greed that has me here. Forever working on it.
Hang in.

 

[Katycakes]

I know... it helps, though, to know that you guys have stumbles too. And I agree, a few months back it would have ben the end of the world, very all-or-nothing, and I'd still be stuffing choc bars now as a result, but we have made ourselves so much more aware. And confessing on a thread is a bit like the voice of my conscience I guess, once I've admitted it online I have to face it and stop kidding myself it's OK... back on the wagon today!

And trying to feel wiser for knowing that slipping off now and again isn't fatal as long as when you slip off you don't go running at 100 miles per hour in the opposite direction...

I think I will go on buying the bars even when I am eating normally again... I am so scared of chocolate, I know you are supposed to be able to have anything in moderation but the connection of choc=binge is so strong for me it will always be a danger in my head. Like asking an alcoholic to have just one small whisky. So I thought as I don't have the same fear with cd bars, they can be my new chocolate? When I crave something sweet. Anyone else thinking like this?

Edi, you are a star as well... you have come so far, but the last bit always seems to be the hardest! Hang on in there. I have the feeling some of us will always be 'working on it' but I would rather that than give up and admit defeat... that's NOT gonna happen. I am in charge of my own life... I'm gonna call the shots! And I think we are all winners, y'know.

xxx

 

[KD]

So I thought as I don't have the same fear with cd bars, they can be my new chocolate?

Whatever works. I never made the binge connection with the bars. Could stop a binge with half a CD bar.

Well done on the size 8...wow! You diddy little thing you!

 

[Katycakes]

OK, I think it would help alot for me... something sweet & choc-bar like but NOT the real thing. I actually like them a lot but like you say, there is no binge connection at all... and also you know you are getting vits & mins & protein etc... and it fills you up in a way that choc never does. I just didn't know if you were allowed to hang onto some bits of CD in that way. Or if it was frowned on. (Wouldn't mind a lifetime supply of choc shake too, as that can also kill a sugar craving dead for me... have it as hot choc, but used to hate hot choc before... strange).

Thanks for mentioning Serena's size 8 achievement in the same post... for one blissful moment I thought I'd somehow got to a size 8 too, but sadly no, still a 14/16. Some things, including size 8, will always be in the realms of fantasy... but hey!!! Serena is our hero!!!
xxx

 

[KD]

Thanks for mentioning Serena's size 8 achievement in the same post... for one blissful moment I thought I'd somehow got to a size 8 too, but sadly no, still a 14/16.

Am practising short posts with few quotes LOL. Be proud of 14/16. I'm 14/16

 

[Serena A]

Day 31

Woohoo - it's been a month since I first moved up the CD plans and I am still here to tell the tale...

I ventured out for a jog this afternoon which was my first since last Sunday's outing. I have to say I found it much more daunting this time around. I can see why people struggle with CD on their 2nd attempt - you'd think that knowing what to expect would make things easier but instead it can simply put the pressure on.

Having said that there was also a plus in that last week I didn't know what my limits/capabilities were so I was scared to work to my potential. But today I knew I could push myself that much harder with the result that I shaved 3 minutes off last week's time so am really pleased I made the effort.

Thought for the day:

"Finish each day and be done with it...you have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in - forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it well and serenely."

 

[sleepybird]

I love your quotes and would like to amend yours slightly if i may be so cheeky so it will fit with me like a glove...
Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it by bashing your foot against the end of the bed as you stumble out of the dark bedroom at 5 am, tripping over the cat who retaliates with claws on your way to the shower and work. Sheesh!!

Seriously, love your quotes! x

 

[Serena A]

I love your quotes and would like to amend yours slightly if i may be so cheeky so it will fit with me like a glove...
Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it by bashing your foot against the end of the bed as you stumble out of the dark bedroom at 5 am, tripping over the cat who retaliates with claws on your way to the shower and work. Sheesh!!

Seriously, love your quotes! x

Ouch!!

 

[BREN]

Serena what plan are you on now? You are so close to your goal babe, well done and I loved yesterdays quote, as usual. Sometimes we can dwell too much and make our own lives more difficult than they need to be.

Take care

Bren
X

 

[Serena A]

Hey Bren

I'm currently on my 2nd week of 1000 cals a day, my CDC suggested I stick with this until I'm a pound or two away from goal and then move up to 1200 so potentially I'll be another 3-4 weeks on 1000 depeding on how many weeks I gain/STS etc.

xx

 

[Lostris]

Hi hon,

Hope that second week of 1000kcal is treating you nice! I'm sure you're doing wonderful honni!!

Still busy running and such? I should really start doing sports but........... still sick and walking up stairs flairs my breathing issues up! Bah! Good you're joining the run ... thing youre joining (sorry, lazy, cant remember) must be great incentive!!

xx

 

[Serena A]

Day 32

Hubby took a picture of me earlier this evening:

I'm wearing the size 8 jeans but I still think I look huge - what's all that about?? :sigh:

Anyway to heck with that, I still feel loads better than I did 6 months ago so what the heck eh?!

My legs don't feel too sore at all after yesterday's jog so that's good. I also had a comment this morning from the window cleaner who made a point of knocking on the window just to ask me if I had lost weight

Thought for the day:

"Do not go where the path may lead; go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

 

[CeeKay]

you look FAB hunni!!!!!
you are NOT huge!!!!
but after cambride it takes a while for our heads to catch up with our new bodies......
compare the pic with an old one, and you will soon see the differences!!!
well done hun
x