Sick of carrying 2 hitch hikers about, so this is my diary
- Thread starter Lily42uk
- Start date
Lily42uk
Gold Member
That's a brilliant loss
Well done on becoming a teen :8855:
Have you read Capricorns diary cos she's always mixing things up to keep her body guessing and she consistenly loses.
Thanks hun, not been on Capricorns diary, I will have a look definitely xx
Thanks sweetie, I am still in shock lol
Good luck for tomorrow Jane, I will have everything crossed for you xx
Lily42uk
Gold Member
Ok so now confession time...I fell off the wagon tonight big time, was so tired and stressed with Terry, he is lovely but is very demanding and repetitive and to be honest I think I have been having him over too much, he is here about 5 or 6 days a week...so today had a word with his mum and said I will always help but I need some space and therefore he can pop in for exercise and cookery class no more than 3 to 4 times a week.
I had a huge chunk of birthday cake today, am so damn angry with myself...haven't a clue how many syns but if I had to hazard a guess I'd say about 80 or more ...no point trying to catch up with them so I will draw a line and keep my syns low for the rest of the week and try and do a little more exercise and keep active .
I had a 3 hour nap after, I thought that I was sleepy cos I had a busy day, but I just realised that when I used to eat all that junk before it would make me feel very sleepy.
What I need to work on is why every time I have a great weight loss I seem to sabotage it.
Still like I said can't change it, it's done now I have to make sure it doesn't happen again. xx
I had a huge chunk of birthday cake today, am so damn angry with myself...haven't a clue how many syns but if I had to hazard a guess I'd say about 80 or more ...no point trying to catch up with them so I will draw a line and keep my syns low for the rest of the week and try and do a little more exercise and keep active .
I had a 3 hour nap after, I thought that I was sleepy cos I had a busy day, but I just realised that when I used to eat all that junk before it would make me feel very sleepy.
What I need to work on is why every time I have a great weight loss I seem to sabotage it.
Still like I said can't change it, it's done now I have to make sure it doesn't happen again. xx
Mrs E-H
Loves Slimming World
Aw Lily dont worry about it you are after all only human. Sometimes the devils voice is louder than the Angels and so we give in. It was one piece of cake and you stopped there so well done on that. Im sure in the bad old days you would have eaten more rubbish and so to only have 1 bad thing no matter how high the syns you have done well.
Tell that Devil to Foff and carry on being the little Angel you are
xxxx
Lily42uk
Gold Member
Thanks hun, but as for it being 1 piece of cake hmmm it was just one slice but that 1 slice would have fed 4 or 5 people ... hence the 80 ish syns damn it
xx
Lily42uk
Gold Member
I wouldn't say he drove me to it, but I am too soft for my own good sometimes lol.
He is a very sweet boy and was telling me today how me, my hubby and my daughter and son in law are the only people that have ever followed through and done what we said we were going to do.
He said he has been promised so much and never had any comeback from it...I think that's sad bless him, he's 25 with the mind of a 10 year old and so grateful and appreciative of everything anyone does for him, it's not hard to want to help someone who is so happy about everything you do for them.
After we made the curry today (and I have to say it was by far one of the best ever made...I made him do about 80% of it, he needs to be independent), he immediately wanted us all to share it with him, even though we only made enough for him and his mum lol xx
He is a very sweet boy and was telling me today how me, my hubby and my daughter and son in law are the only people that have ever followed through and done what we said we were going to do.
He said he has been promised so much and never had any comeback from it...I think that's sad bless him, he's 25 with the mind of a 10 year old and so grateful and appreciative of everything anyone does for him, it's not hard to want to help someone who is so happy about everything you do for them.
After we made the curry today (and I have to say it was by far one of the best ever made...I made him do about 80% of it, he needs to be independent), he immediately wanted us all to share it with him, even though we only made enough for him and his mum lol xx
LoChan1984
Gold Member
BLOODY CAKE! To use your favourite word lol
Who left all that birthday cake behind at your house? Should have made y'family take it away methinks
I know what you mean about seeming to want to sabotage yourself everytime you hit a milestone - for me it's always around the 18st barrier - I've been there three times in the last five years and always end up crashing and burning then
If you loosely stick to your up and down meal days like last week it could even out... If your body is expecting a big piece of cake to burn off tom'ow and you give it fruit instead it's bound to
LittleFlutterby
Fluffy lil flutterby :)
don't think of it as sabotaging- it's a treat (ok a bit of a biggun). but yes, keep syns reasonably low and do a bit more body magic
you've done awesome- and you will do awesome
and good on you for talking about having some space- we all need it- and you need time to yourself since you're always on the go!
anyhoo *cling* imma stay here tonight- no space for you- stay here and keep me company *is in a mood*
you've done awesome- and you will do awesome
and good on you for talking about having some space- we all need it- and you need time to yourself since you're always on the go!
anyhoo *cling* imma stay here tonight- no space for you- stay here and keep me company *is in a mood*
Lily42uk
Gold Member
BLOODY CAKE! To use your favourite word lol
:8855: I did laugh at this really cheered me up hehehe
Who left all that birthday cake behind at your house? Should have made y'family take it away methinks
Hubby brought it back from my daughters the other night, and put it in the cupboard behind some tins, didn't think I'd find it he said :d'oh: it was so yummy lol, and why would I not find it when he knew I would be using lots of herbs and spices from that cupboard ...oh well I will focus on how nice it was but not nice enough to make me want to do it again any time soon (oh no, just remembered got a 21st this weekend and the b'day boys mum is a superb cook and was told last night she will be cooking over 100 different flavour cupcakes including OMG butterscotch...nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo)
How many syns in 1 cupcake and can I hold off eating it until after wi on Tuesday ???? see I am planning to have one ...I WILL NOT HAVE ONE ..I WILL NOT HAVE ONE ...OH GOD !!!!
I know what you mean about seeming to want to sabotage yourself everytime you hit a milestone - for me it's always around the 18st barrier - I've been there three times in the last five years and always end up crashing and burning then
If you loosely stick to your up and down meal days like last week it could even out... If your body is expecting a big piece of cake to burn off tom'ow and you give it fruit instead it's bound to
I really believe that's exactly what I've done, my biggest goal initially, was to get under 20st, I am under by 2lb why do I now want to sabotage that ...it's taken me close on 3 years to get nearly 12st off...2 years on my own losing 6st+...and I am finally on the home stretch, can almost see the finish line and I then go and do that...someone kick my butt and zip my mouth and throw away the key will you ?
I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT MORE THAN I NEED TO EAT THE CAKE
I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT MORE THAN I NEED TO EAT THE CAKE
I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT MORE THAN I NEED TO EAT THE CAKE
Do you reckon if I say it enough I'll believe it lol
don't think of it as sabotaging- it's a treat (ok a bit of a biggun). but yes, keep syns reasonably low and do a bit more body magic
That's my plan, am hoping that Saturday as it's a 21st and there will be loads of kids there that I can pop in say happy birthday and slink off before I spy the cupcakes, so wish me luck lol
you've done awesome- and you will do awesome
You're so bloody right lol xx
and good on you for talking about having some space- we all need it- and you need time to yourself since you're always on the go!
I need me time I really do, I get angry and frustrated when I plan it and then it doesn't happen...I love my family and friends and love spending time with them, but I need to spend time with me and just me so that I can do what I want and not have to answer to anyone
anyhoo *cling* imma stay here tonight- no space for you- stay here and keep me company *is in a mood*
I am happy to have your company sweetie and even more happy that you are your happy self again, :welcome: home
LittleFlutterby
Fluffy lil flutterby :)
I wouldn't go that far- but i'm getting there...i have a rough couple of days ahead...but i'll accept whatever is thrown at me...and try to deal with it as best i can. but it's going to be tough- and without food and booze as a crutch- even harder
this too shall pass....and whatever happens, it'll be ok....i hope :\
this too shall pass....and whatever happens, it'll be ok....i hope :\
Lily42uk
Gold Member
Sweetie for all we sometimes have bad days and give in to our food benders, we are strong, look how well we have done.. but more importantly how we are going to do...let them throw crap at us, we will defend ourselves dust it off and get straight back on the wagon....isn't that what we are doing anyway...and what makes us do that...friends like you in my case supporting me, pushing me, kicking butt when I need it and just caring and loving at the end of the day ...just remember no matter how tough it gets..I am always here with a
a :hug99: a shoulder to :cry: on a :8855: a:rant2: a bit of :whoopass: and just about anything else you need to get through this xxx
LittleFlutterby
Fluffy lil flutterby :)
thanks hunny <3
nah- i get my exam results on friday- in about 36 hours. i know i've failed 2 (not a "omg i totally didnt fail but imma say i did" kinda fail, a "omg what the f*ck, i didn't know any stuff to answer the questions" kinda fail) and i don't know if they're going to let me on to the next year because of it. If they do- great, i'll be over the frigging moon- seriously-i'll be happy crying and then dancing to work. if they don't- then i have less than £100 of my overdraft and no income. I'll have to move bank accounts, to an account that probs charges to be overdrawn, and have no decent way of paying it off....ive done a CV but i'm practically unemployable- the damn thing is empty- next to no DECENT qualifications, and a lack of work experience (the only thing i can draw on is the 5 hours of voluntary work i do a week....)
it's a toughy- and i hate waiting- and im starting to feel sick with worry....it's going to be worse tomorrow, thats for sure
*blah*
there ya go- enjoy heehee
nah- i get my exam results on friday- in about 36 hours. i know i've failed 2 (not a "omg i totally didnt fail but imma say i did" kinda fail, a "omg what the f*ck, i didn't know any stuff to answer the questions" kinda fail) and i don't know if they're going to let me on to the next year because of it. If they do- great, i'll be over the frigging moon- seriously-i'll be happy crying and then dancing to work. if they don't- then i have less than £100 of my overdraft and no income. I'll have to move bank accounts, to an account that probs charges to be overdrawn, and have no decent way of paying it off....ive done a CV but i'm practically unemployable- the damn thing is empty- next to no DECENT qualifications, and a lack of work experience (the only thing i can draw on is the 5 hours of voluntary work i do a week....)
it's a toughy- and i hate waiting- and im starting to feel sick with worry....it's going to be worse tomorrow, thats for sure
*blah*
there ya go- enjoy
heehee
Newday
One day at a time
Cake is the undoing of us all Lily. . Look at me with my unexpected delivery of the party cake on Monday. Hardly touched the sides as it went down as I was so excited.
I'm the same to with the sabotaging thingy. Get to the 18s (only just mind) and I've been doing my level best to shove myself back into the 19s ever since.
Probably will achieve it this week too.
Have a weekend away planned for a week on Friday. Seaside so all that temptation.
In the right mind set I'd be thinking, ' no worries, think of all that lovely seafood.'
Hmmm in the wrong mind set I'll be thinking, ' fish and chips, doughnuts, ice cream waffles.'
Ahh well, we shall see.
. Look at me with my unexpected delivery of the party cake on Monday. Hardly touched the sides as it went down as I was so excited. I'm the same to with the sabotaging thingy. Get to the 18s (only just mind) and I've been doing my level best to shove myself back into the 19s ever since.
Probably will achieve it this week too.
Have a weekend away planned for a week on Friday. Seaside so all that temptation.
In the right mind set I'd be thinking, ' no worries, think of all that lovely seafood.'
Hmmm in the wrong mind set I'll be thinking, ' fish and chips, doughnuts, ice cream waffles.'
Ahh well, we shall see.
Lily42uk
Gold Member
Cake is the undoing of us all Lily.
I'm the same to with the sabotaging thingy. Get to the 18s (only just mind) and I've been doing my level best to shove myself back into the 19s ever since.
Probably will achieve it this week too.
Have a weekend away planned for a week on Friday. Seaside so all that temptation.
In the right mind set I'd be thinking, ' no worries, think of all that lovely seafood.'
Hmmm in the wrong mind set I'll be thinking, ' fish and chips, doughnuts, ice cream waffles.'
Ahh well, we shall see.
Morning hun,
I was thinking about the sabotaging all night and I know for me it's a comfort thing, the weight is my shield from the real world and each time I get to that lower stone level my shield is disappearing and I feel exposed, I have had this shield around me so long I really am scared of losing it, but excited as well..like you sweetie I can't get past the naughty thoughts with food...food porn I call it lol.....I am going to that party Saturday and all that is occupying my mind is not who will be there, will I drink, will I have fun, not even what shall I wear no, all I can think of is whether I should have a cupcake and just say darn it it's done or whether I will be able to resist having one or maybe 6 ...I have a mental picture of me holed up in my sisters toilet shovelling them down my throat..god I am scared
It's physically making me feel ill the thought that I might not be able to steer clear, I am going to have to make Mal handcuff me to his side I am sure of it....I keep telling myself I won';t even have one but in reality I will probably have more than 1 darn it ...I hope to god I am so ill on Saturday that I can't go, that would be the only reason my Sister would forgive me lol xx
JackieN
One day at a time, one step at a time
no you don't hope you will be ill... you can have a cupcake sweetie and the more you worry the more of an issue it becomes.Morning hun,
I was thinking about the sabotaging all night and I know for me it's a comfort thing, the weight is my shield from the real world and each time I get to that lower stone level my shield is disappearing and I feel exposed, I have had this shield around me so long I really am scared of losing it, but excited as well..like you sweetie I can't get past the naughty thoughts with food...food porn I call it lol.....
I think you are right. It is our shield...
I am going to that party Saturday and all that is occupying my mind is not who will be there, will I drink, will I have fun, not even what shall I wear no, all I can think of is whether I should have a cupcake and just say darn it it's done or whether I will be able to resist having one or maybe 6 ...I have a mental picture of me holed up in my sisters toilet shovelling them down my throat..god I am scared
you will more than likely find you will be able to avoid them easily when out I find it harder when home alone
It's physically making me feel ill the thought that I might not be able to steer clear, I am going to have to make Mal handcuff me to his side I am sure of it....I keep telling myself I won';t even have one but in reality I will probably have more than 1 darn it ...I hope to god I am so ill on Saturday that I can't go, that would be the only reason my Sister would forgive me lol xx
We will do this. By Saturday you will have been 100% again for 2.5 days giving you back that iron will power. and remember i'm there holding your hand and wagging my finger at you the whole time
:8855:
Mrs E-H
Loves Slimming World
Morning hun,
I was thinking about the sabotaging all night and I know for me it's a comfort thing, the weight is my shield from the real world and each time I get to that lower stone level my shield is disappearing and I feel exposed, I have had this shield around me so long I really am scared of losing it, but excited as well..like you sweetie I can't get past the naughty thoughts with food...food porn I call it lol.....I am going to that party Saturday and all that is occupying my mind is not who will be there, will I drink, will I have fun, not even what shall I wear no, all I can think of is whether I should have a cupcake and just say darn it it's done or whether I will be able to resist having one or maybe 6 ...I have a mental picture of me holed up in my sisters toilet shovelling them down my throat..god I am scared
It's physically making me feel ill the thought that I might not be able to steer clear, I am going to have to make Mal handcuff me to his side I am sure of it....I keep telling myself I won';t even have one but in reality I will probably have more than 1 darn it ...I hope to god I am so ill on Saturday that I can't go, that would be the only reason my Sister would forgive me lol xx
Aw Lily have a cupcake enjoy it savour it and then stop thinking about it. You can do this you are a strong clever woman who deserves to be thin.
xxxx
Lily42uk
Gold Member
no you don't hope you will be ill... you can have a cupcake sweetie and the more you worry the more of an issue it becomes.
We will do this. By Saturday you will have been 100% again for 2.5 days giving you back that iron will power. and remember i'm there holding your hand and wagging my finger at you the whole time
Hahaha spat my coffee at the screen, I can actually see you standing in front of me wagging your finger, giving me a real good talking to lol
I am committed to being 100% again thank you hun, it so helps...I want to be able to come back here Sunday and say I avoided them.
I am going to use my mantra (I WILL NOT EAT CAKE), as I want to be able to say to you all I damn well did it, plus there is another reason, my sister, don't get me wrong I love her to bits, but she would definitely be gloating if I tucked myself away and gobbled the cakes, she tells me she is proud of me but then says she is sick of hearing SW and even does childish things like stuffing chips and burgers (McD's) down her throat in front of me, she did this at my granddaughters birthday tea last week, really pathetic, little does she know McD's don't bother me and never have, now Burger King is a whole different ball game :8855:...so I am determined not to give her the satisfaction of being able to say I knew you would...now all I need to do is convince myself I can do it...hun I am not looking forward to the party at all, I don't know the people going to it at all...only people I will know are a couple of my nieces and nephews friends and my niece, nephew and sister other than my kids that is. Also my sister and I fell out 6 months ago and only started talking again last week, it will be the 1st time we have been at any social event other than my granddaughters tea party together in god knows how long.....I must stop worrying about this rubbish cos I know it will be fine, just can't get myself out of that mind set ...aaarrrgggghhhhh...going to go scream for a bit see if that helps lol xxx
Lily42uk
Gold Member
Good morning Katie,
I don't want the cupcake, I actually would prefer some peanuts lol....I know for a fact that the reason I am worrying is not the cupcake itself, I honestly feel I can actually avoid them, what's actually bothering me is that I won't be able to stop eating like I used to do at family functions and parties...this is my first real test since being at slimming world, I will have no say over this food at all...I am definitely going to eat before I go so that if I do feel a pick coming on it will hopefully not be too bad as I will be full :fingerscrossed: please god :sigh: xx
