I feel pants today, mentally. This is what happened to me last night. At the back of my flat are some garages and its completely private. There is a group of lads who work in one of the garages and for the last two years have been nothing but pleasant to me and kind. When he wants water to clean his cars I supply it. They are like neighbours and we always help eachother out. They are only 19-20 years old and are quite mature for their ages. I'm nearly 40 so have no interest in them what so ever but get on well with them, or so I thought. Anyway, yesterday around dinner time they was out there working. I walked out of my back gate and saw someone there Ive never seen before. He looked over at me and said to his mate "Here you go, there's your bird for the night" To which the young lad replied with utter disgust "No bloody thanks!" The other guy then went on to say "It's ok, its dinner time she will take to you macdonalds" Then all four guys started creasing up with laughter. I wanted to walk over to the guy and slap him silly but as usual I put my head down and went on my way. I am used to hearing this crap, there isnt a lot I havent heard but this really hurt. It's totally blown what little confidence I had started to work on. I hate men sometimes. What makes me even more mad is this guy doesnt even know me. He was only about 5'5 if that. Ten years older than me easily, bald and had a bigger bloody beer belly than I ever could have. Ironic.
People are so cruel. They really don't get the damage it causes someone. All very well people telling me to rise above it, and I will but that doesn't take away the pain. I'm on a right downer.
