Spangly's tough love slim and save bootcamp!

[Clinquant]

Oh that sounds a bit grim. Probably just as well you've included the protein meal. I agree with the packs as medicine in theory, but in practice I get a bit panicky if I don't have my favourites.

Would have really liked to join with the birthday treats today but I've survived and I know I'll be pleased tomorrow. Really happy to have survived the month and know that it's the right thing to continue.

 

[Spanglymum]

Well done on resisting the treats, clinquant - and to all of us on surviving our first full month! We rock!

(Can you tell I got a wee bit of sleep last night?! )

Working from home today, which helps, as it means I don't have my massive round trip commute to do. Hubby is at his monthly hospital treatment so I take the girls to a childminder before school - actually a close family friend, but she started a childminding business a year ago. Love her and her family - they're fab. Only problem is in the rush to get out the door I forgot my youngest's packed lunch! So, having been through my inbox already this morning, I'm heading off to school to hand it in after my conference calls. Blimey. If it's not one thing it's another. lol.

 

[Spanglymum]

Hope everyone has had another day thoroughly on plan *wags finger*. I got a 'you look slimmer' comment from my elder daughter this evening, which was unexpected, and nice (although part of me worries that I've been a bad example this past couple of years with my fixation on weight and diet etc). Still it was lovely to know the perseverance is starting to pay off.

Really hope the postie doesn't arrive tomorrow while my hubby is out doing the school run. I want my packs!!!! Waaaaaa!!! Lol. If I EVER have to drink another sns mushroom or tomato soup, somebody shoot me now. UGH. Only thing is they're all I've got for tomorrow! Medicine? Bah!!!

I. CAN. DO. THIS. (Grits teeth.)

 

[weasey]

Yuck - tomato soup for brekkie!

I'm almost out of oatmeal but seem to have an abundance of Spicy spaghetti and chilli - something strange has happened... Think I might have to order some more oatmeal as I couldn't stomach the others for breakfast! Also, I'm away in London next week so will have to order some shakes (yuck) so that I have something I know I'll be able to prepare...

 

[Clinquant]

Going to have to be really vigilant today as lots of difficult things running through my head.

1. I spoke to my sister last night. My mum has been suffering from depression to varying degrees since she turned 70. We have tried all sorts of strategies but even when she is well she is quite resistant - I think very scared - to explore things further. It is really hard to see and we feel incredibly powerless. My dad has been really good but it is having a really negative effect on him. I think the lesson is accepting that we might not be able to change anything but it is very hard to watch.
2. I had also arranged to take the same sister to the Ritz for tea for her 40th. She is now 42 and we finally arranged it for November - we had to book that in March. Of course, I really don't want to eat and it's not as if I can compromise with a non carb option. I have asked her to postpone and explained how a day off at that stage could make it so much more difficult to go back. She is totally understanding and lovely and really wants me to do this but I still feel guilty.
3. I have the performance review today with my assistant. As an HR person this should be an absolute breeze for me but it is really difficult. She works 3 days a week and just wants to come in and do her bit and go home which is fine. It worked when I first started but as she is the only other person in HR, I really need someone with more initiative and judgement. She also has a really bad memory and falls asleep at her desk - she has recently given up sugar and I noticed that she didn't' nod off yesterday! As I am starting to experience menopausal memory fog I can empathise but it is really starting to become unmanageable with daily mistakes. My boss is really supportive and in April I hope to have a full time person who is qualified or looking to train so I can pass on more projects. I intend to raise this too so that I can give her a longer time to look for an alternative job. I'm not looking forward to it at all.

My plan is to have something nice out of my goody bag - thinking a mini scented candle - and I have an extra choir rehearsal tonight so that will distract me this evening.

Just putting it down on paper and stating my intentions makes me feel much better.

Have a good day everyone and mind over matter with the tomato and mushrooms soups!

 

[hanmac]

Your doing great Spangly It's great when the compliments start - always a good boost!! Hopefully your packs arrive soon, if the mushrooms sns is anything like the exante one I really feel for you as it's disgusting!!! When I had a load of packs I hated I kept trying to add as little water as possible and down them as quickly as possible, so can definitely identify with the 'packs as medicine' mentality!

Hope your having a good day today

H xx

 

[Spanglymum]

1.5lb off for me this week, but not disappointed as I thought I might STS because of (a) being due on (!) and (b) introducing the protein meal. So I'm quite pleased actually. Also I can really feel my body changing shape this week. I feel less "waterlogged" if that makes sense, especially around my ribcage, waist and shoulders. Feeling a bit more like "me" again, which is great. Packs arrived last night (phew!) so NO MORE MUSHROOM OR TOMATO FOR A WHILE!!

 

[Clinquant]

That's brilliant well done. You definitely seem more at peace with this since you added the protein meal. I think it was a good decision for you. It's funny you should say you feel more like 'me'. I said the exact same thing this morning. Although I was bigger for quite a while I was never really comfortable with it and this feels like getting ever closer to who I am supposed to be.

Yesterday was a tough one. The appraisal went OK but it was a really busy day. I then had to run to choir to help with refreshments and forgot my music and had to run back. When I got in my other half told me the hot water wasn't working. I knew it was the pressure but hadn't been able to find how to fill it. I was tired, hungry and angry and didn't really respond in an adult way and he took it personally. Things going wrong in the house are a huge trigger for me and I've lived in the flat for 20 years and my OH only recently moved in so it still feels like my burden. I had a pack and found my adult voice again and this morning with the help of user manuals and YouTube videos we solved it. I think I am learning to think rationally more than I used to. I know I would have headed to the fridge normally though and added a full stomach to the things that were keeping me awake!

Hoping for a quieter day today.

 

[Spanglymum]

Well done on handling things in the end in an adult and rational fashion, clinquant! Not always easy to do - especially when it's something that triggers a learned/automatic response. I'm a bit like that with my hubby's family inviting themselves to visit without notice... not actually staying with us - but will need to be entertained/fed for a week or so. Managed to bite my tongue last night when hubby told me and not act out with carbs but I was a bit cross! I actually told him I think it's rude of them not to ask first and just assume it's ok. He wasn't very happy with that but it's honestly how I feel and I felt better for expressing it rather than bottling it up or suppressing it with food.

Trying to focus on catching up on sleep this week, diet notwithstanding. I know tiredess is a huge trigger for me and I seem to have let myself get behind with sleep again. I took the train this morning as I was so tired, and fell asleep on the way in! PMT prob not helping...

Hope everyone has a spangly day!

 

[nzmegs]

hey Spangly - catch up with my news over on my thread.

Sounds like things are going great for you right now. You have done brilliantly - almost 20 pounds in a month, Wow!

I am back doing low carbing - high fatting! if you read my thread you will see why things went off-piste for a while! But feeling better now. Got my MIL 60th coming up in a months time so need to be looking and feeling my best for that.

catch you soon!

 

[25y]

I read through this thread this morning and you are all so motivating and wonderful! Hope you don't mind if I subscribe.

 

[Clinquant]

Welcome 25y.

I am having a much needed day off today, although I nearly wore myself out trying to get everything done. Really worth it now. Part lolling and part catching up with the Forth Bridge of financial post and paperwork.

Going to start doing a bit more research on low carb plans for maintenance. Still a long way off but I need to find something to work. It feels like the weight isn't coming of my waist as much as it did last time and I think a plan that takes account of insulin levels is going to help counter middle aged middle. Also have a voucher from a recent burglary and have decided to get a Kindle rather than an iPod so would welcome any suggestions for books that you have all found useful. Did quite a lot of online reading last time but I think I work best when given a more definitive set of rules. Also, going to have a read of your low carb blog, Spangly.

In the middle of all the concert madness my parents and OH get to meet for the first time and there will be carbs in the house. I have to just let them get on with it and not think I have to make it right. I'd like them to get on but I am 49 and don't really need their approval anymore. Still scary though. First proper WI for two weeks will keep me focussed. Scales don't look great so really upping my water today. Would love a good loss for the first WI of the October challenge.

Hope everyone is having a good day and there are some nice plans for the weekend.

 

[weasey]

You might want to think about Dukan Clinquant. He has a phase for straight after you've lost the weight and before you are maintaining long term. The length of e phase depends on the amount of weight you've lost, which makes sense to me.

From a book point of view lots of people like the Beck Diet Solution by Dr Beck. It uses CBT. Personally I'm not keen on CBT and I found the book too authoritarian (my rebellious child came out to play!) but many people find it fantastic and it is definitely worth a read. I prefer TA as a therapy technique. There's a very old book for TA and weight loss which stopped being published in the 70s or 80s so I doubt it's on Kindle. You can still get old copies of it on Amazon (from the US). It's by Frank Bruno (not that one!) and it's called something obvious but I can't remember the name offhand. There's also another book called The Overweight Patient which is a TA book written for medical professional who are dealing with overweight patients, which I found interesting.

And welcome 25y!

 

[Clinquant]

Great suggestions, weasey. Thanks very much.

 

[Spanglymum]

Hi, clinquant. I'll put a reading list together for you at some point in the next week or so. Some people to look up, if you haven't already, are Mark Sisson, Gary Taubes, Annika Dahlqvist and Peter Attia. Once you start looking for lchf information it starts to pop out of the woodwork. I'm with you on the waist fat by the way. This time it's much much slower for me. I definitely need to cut carbs longer-term. The mistake I made with maintenance previously was cutting carbs but then not replacing them with enough fat, so I was permanently hungry and would then fall off the wagon and binge on carbs. Thing is, the anti-fat propaganda is so all-pervasive that even when you've read the medical papers and KNOW the biology makes sense, it still feels 'wrong' to be eating fats.

 

[Clinquant]

Thanks for that - some I have found but some are new to me - and no rush on the reading list - it's a long term thing. I am now the proud owner of a Samsung Tablet which seemed to be much better value than the Kindle and do so much more

WI this morning and 1.5kgs off. Very pleased with that and I really hope that however I may struggle in the future I will never see morbid obesity again. I'm going to do what I can to avoid that. It was also one of those really good Lighter Life sessions that makes the money worthwhile. We have all done it for so long that we have all the shorthand of each other's stories but there still seems a lot to learn from each other. Lots of humour too.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend and enjoying the amazing weather.

 

[Spanglymum]

Really down today and need a group hug I think. Not sure what came over me yesterday but I ended up falling spectacularly off the wagon - alcohol - and hugely regret it today. I am so ashamed. Hubby and I have had some brilliant chats though. I'm just not coping with my mammoth commute, my difficult boss, and also am very very sad about us saying no to any more children last year because of the MS. It was the right decision but very tough and one of my staff is currently pregnant which is fabulous for her but I'm actually finding it harder than I thought. I bottle all of this anxiety up and try to handle it on my own and forget he is there for me!! What an idiot. I do make my life difficult for myself. I'm trying to use my stupidity last night to good ends and treat it as a wake up call. My current lifestyle is unsustainable and knackering and I just can't do it anymore. I am going to the GP on Saturday to talk about possibly increasing my antidepressants again and also perhaps getting signed off work for a week or so. I have never ever done that before but I feel overwhelmed and like I can't cope, which isn't like me at all. It feels very strange and scary. I need to find a way of reducing some of the commuting time, possibly working from home more frequently (?) and then I would also have time for exercise, which would help with stress. My company is going through big big changes at the moment so everyone at work is stressed out, not just me. I need ti find a way of relaxing and burning off some cortisol and adrenaline. Anyway. I feel such a failure. But I need help and i guess that just makes me human, right?

 

[cakeordeath]

Sorry that you are feeling down......I'm a big fan of adjusting or increasing meds short term until you feel stabilised.....you have recognised it and addressed it and that is great.....it's so much more difficult if you become entrenched.....and sounds like the convo with hubby was really positive......and a day off work with a seedy hangover......very rock and roll......! Lol....

 

[Lizzyliz0]

Hi spangly,

It sounds like you are going through a really tough time at the moment, it does not mean you are a failure. I was on antidepressants for years but nobody but close family knew, do I'm sure a lot of friends and work colleagues also use them to get through tough spots, you just don't know about it!

I can sympathise a bit about the no more babies too. We aren't having any more due to financial reasons and the fact that mine and husbands relationship is a bit pants these days! I feel very very sad about this too but I'm trying to see the positive that I am blessed by having children already and can think about all the lovely things we can do in the next couple of years.

You are doing great!

P.s. I'm quite jealous of the alcohol! I really could do with a glass of wine at the mo!

 

[Clinquant]

Please be kind to yourself, Spangly. You were just dealing with a lot of overwhelming feelings in the best way you could. Most of the time you are making the right choices and, as you already recognise, there is a positive spin to this if you have managed to rely on your husband a bit instead of trying to carry it all yourself. And well done on recognising the need for medication and most of all for some down time. You are neither an idiot, stupid or a failure!!!

On a practical level could you not put together a proposal for a more sustainable working pattern once you have had some time off. I know this depends on the culture of your organisation and you might not feel able to if everyone is under a lot of pressure but you do have the right to request to work flexibly. This site is really helpful Advice on flexible working, maternity and paternity leave

You are taking a lot of practical steps already so no more beating yourself up. Yesterday is behind you.