Yeh she is maintaining at the mo... It's Vanessas diary... Like I said i really am not putting her down in ANY WAY, and don't know anything about her journey. I'm jot judging and im sure she has done very well. I didn't read her whole diary just the last week or two. And yes in one day she had 5 packets of square crisps, a chocolate mousse, a freddo and some shortbread biscuits. Then s few days later half a ton of buttery toast and crumpets at once with a load of other crap. I know it's important to allow yourself the odd little treat, but for me I NEVER want to pig out for enjoyments sake again. I want food to never ever get the better of me... And you can't tell me when she was eating 5 packs of crisps that she had control??!!
Yeh she is maintaining at the mo... It's Vanessas diary... Like I said i really am not putting her down in ANY WAY, and don't know anything about her journey. I'm jot judging and im sure she has done very well. I didn't read her whole diary just the last week or two. And yes in one day she had 5 packets of square crisps, a chocolate mousse, a freddo and some shortbread biscuits. Then s few days later half a ton of buttery toast and crumpets at once with a load of other crap. I know it's important to allow yourself the odd little treat, but for me I NEVER want to pig out for enjoyments sake again. I want food to never ever get the better of me... And you can't tell me when she was eating 5 packs of crisps that she had control??!! The fact that food has controlled me my entire life scares me so much, this next 5 months is a re-programming and every day I tell myself that I will never be able to eat that kinda stuff in excess again. Maybe the odd packet of crisps and perhaps a fizzy drink OCCASIONALLY. but eating them every day or in multiples is a damned guaranteed sign that the unhealthy relationship with food is still underlying there... And I want mine gone! And I'll fight to get rid of it.
Please again, in no way am I being judgemental of that girl or demeaning her success losing weight, I'm just using it as an example to point out what I wish to accomplish. I appreciate it's very hard to completely remove the food demons that tell you to eat rubbish or binge... But I am gonna try my absolute hardest and fight with all my strength to never have them plague my life again.
In hoping when I get there I can be as strong as I feel today. I'm not letting myself think about food i want to eat after TFR unless it's thinking realistically about how I can maintain and get enough vitamins & minerals and how to eat to boost my metabolism. Fantasising about a kebab or a pasty is BANNED cuz as far as I'm concerned, food that has no real nutritional benefits is not food to me... It's a drug. And I don't want to be an addict anymore!
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