Found this on facebook and had to share xxx
Every single week
When weigh day comes around
I go through every trick I know
To lose an extra pound
First I fetch the kitchen scales
To weigh my pants and bra
I cannot chuck my old grey kecks
They're my lightest pair by far
I pretend to survey my wardrobe
But really every dieter knows
That even if its freezing
You must wear summer clothes
I cant have a morning cuppa
A sip of water must do
If I had my usual mug of tea
I'd gain a pound or two
As for breakfast - not a chance!
That could cause a "stay the same"
I'm sure that if that happened
It's the porridge that's to blame
I visit the toilet for the umpteenth time
In the hope that my scan bran buns
Although they tasted disgusting
May have given me a touch of the runs
Now it may be too much information
But surely its every dieters woe
No matter how many times one sits on the loo
Ones body refuses to go!
After I arrive at group
I have one final try
Not a drop of anything can I produce
I honestly could cry
I join the others despondently
I'm worried about how I've done
I remove my socks and leggings
And my cardy that must weigh a ton
I take off my bracelet and necklace
My belt and watch and broach
Finally I wipe off my lipstick
And then I'm on final approach
The moment has come as it does every week
When I find if I've passed or I've failed
On I get with a big deep breath
But then I worry that I should have exhaled!
The weigh lady looks at the pda
And then she looks at me
A great big smile lights up her face
As she tells me I've lost three!
Of course I'm delighted with my week
But I do feel a tiny bit blue
I'm convinced that it would have been half a stone
If I could only have gone to the loo!!!