PurpleButterfly
16lb to go!
hey guys. Don't fret I am still alive. I will post more probably tomorrow. off out with the girlies tonight 
The 14st Curse: Ellie's journey
- Thread starter PurpleButterfly
- Start date
hey guys. Don't fret I am still alive. I will post more probably tomorrow. off out with the girlies tonight 
** Just Jools **
Slow & steady does it!!!!
Good luck for weigh in tomorrow. x
PurpleButterfly
16lb to go!
Thanks girlies!
rhuba
i really don't know life
wondered where you'd got lovely!
how are ya?? did you have fun on your girlie night out? you may not here much from me over the bank holiday weekend coz i'm off to wales for a weekend of rambling with the oh. my parents have a caravan in abersoch, so we're gonna climb snowdon and get some loverly fresh air
good luck for your weigh in petal, you're doing fabulously and you deserve a good'un!
xx rhuba xx
how are ya?? did you have fun on your girlie night out? you may not here much from me over the bank holiday weekend coz i'm off to wales for a weekend of rambling with the oh. my parents have a caravan in abersoch, so we're gonna climb snowdon and get some loverly fresh air
good luck for your weigh in petal, you're doing fabulously and you deserve a good'un!
xx rhuba xx
PurpleButterfly
16lb to go!
Thanks rhoobs! Hope you have a fantastic time climbing snowdon! wowee that sounds great and you've got great weather for it!
Had a lovely night out with my girls. well if you set apart all the drunk guys leering over us all (although, secretly I was quite pleased to be getting some male (er, and female, lol) attention as well as my beautiful friends!). Bleugh: drunks. But for the music and the club and my girls it was lovely And even I thought I looked good, so I'm happy..
Er but very bad WI for me, a 7lb GAIN! I am turning it into a positive though as I know that it will now spur me on into my losing mindset and I'll be able to lose it all again. That will keep me on the straight and narrow whilst I'm away. Also, I know that there's no way I could've put on 1lb a day this week, I haven't been great but I also haven't been eating THAT much (been probably 500cal a day ish over maintenance cals = should be 1lb gain over the week, maybe 2lb!)
wowee that sounds great and you've got great weather for it!Had a lovely night out with my girls. well if you set apart all the drunk guys leering over us all (although, secretly I was quite pleased to be getting some male (er, and female, lol) attention as well as my beautiful friends!). Bleugh: drunks. But for the music and the club and my girls it was lovely
And even I thought I looked good, so I'm happy..Er but very bad WI for me, a 7lb GAIN! I am turning it into a positive though as I know that it will now spur me on into my losing mindset and I'll be able to lose it all again. That will keep me on the straight and narrow whilst I'm away. Also, I know that there's no way I could've put on 1lb a day this week, I haven't been great but I also haven't been eating THAT much (been probably 500cal a day ish over maintenance cals = should be 1lb gain over the week, maybe 2lb!)
rhuba
i really don't know life
there's that positive attitude we all know and love!
you're really inspiring a lot of people with it ellie, so keep it up
anyway, when you're on holls i imagine you'll be out and about doing plenty of fun things and being active (and staying in, doing plenty of fun things and being active) which will burn plenty of cals.
i find when i'm happy and feeling good in myself, i don't think about food or wallow as much as when i'm not, and seeing your oh after such a long time apart and such distance will make you even happier!
so, have a fantabulous time. (if you manage a quick sneak on here while you're away i'm sure we'd all love an update :sigh: jealous, much?)
when do you go petal? are you counting down the minutes? i know i would be!!
you're really inspiring a lot of people with it ellie, so keep it up
anyway, when you're on holls i imagine you'll be out and about doing plenty of fun things and being active (and staying in, doing plenty of fun things and being active
) which will burn plenty of cals.i find when i'm happy and feeling good in myself, i don't think about food or wallow as much as when i'm not, and seeing your oh after such a long time apart and such distance will make you even happier!
so, have a fantabulous time. (if you manage a quick sneak on here while you're away i'm sure we'd all love an update :sigh: jealous, much?)
when do you go petal? are you counting down the minutes? i know i would be!!
PurpleButterfly
16lb to go!
Definitely counting the minutes down, and definitely with regards to the indoor/outdoor exercise!! Hehehehe! I go on tuesday evening which is suddenly getting really really close. Eeeeeks... Loving this free time now though.
I will try to pop on and say a quick how-do at some point definitely because I want to know how you lovely people are doing.
I will try to pop on and say a quick how-do at some point definitely because I want to know how you lovely people are doing.
** Just Jools **
Slow & steady does it!!!!
Fantastic PMA hun! Love it!
Those scales MUST be telling fibs though!
Sooooooooo jealous about your holiday. I'd love to go to New Zealand. I want to go to that Zion Big Cat place (probably absolutely nowhere near where you're going!). Have a wonderful, wonderful time. x x
Those scales MUST be telling fibs though!
Sooooooooo jealous about your holiday. I'd love to go to New Zealand. I want to go to that Zion Big Cat place (probably absolutely nowhere near where you're going!). Have a wonderful, wonderful time. x x
bronski
Anything But Ordinary
Glad you had such a wicked night out, hun! Ooo, and not long 'til NZ
Don't fret the gain, babe. Like I said in the Friday thread, it's probably TOM or a seriously serious glitch. But well done for turning it to a positive, that's good mind set Don't let it spoil your time in NZ hun!
Bron
Don't fret the gain, babe. Like I said in the Friday thread, it's probably TOM or a seriously serious glitch. But well done for turning it to a positive, that's good mind set
Don't let it spoil your time in NZ hun!Bron
PurpleButterfly
16lb to go!
only food anyway so whether I eat or don't eat it won't make a difference to having a good time . Well I haven't been great today food wise, chocolate my downfall again, but I've also done a fair bit of exercise and that'll hopefully compensate. I will get back on track!! I also feel quite bloated as well for some reason. Maybe I should try cutting out carbs maybe they're making me feel bloated and they're definitely not helping with my head. Blooming carbs. I've got loads of other stuff I need to eat before I go away anyway (like a whole bowl of fruit!) maybe I'll concentrate on eating my way through that lot.
Besides ,I'm working on not being too hard on myself. Ha. It's funny everyone from different areas of my life always tells me that I'm much too hard on myself. None of them know each other but it's always the same feedback! It's my biggest thing I am always much harder on myself than I would be for anyone else. So.... As long as I do the exercise I'm not going to beat myself up for eating more. I know that I'll get back on track, I just have to settle into a good routine again. That'll start by going easier on myself. It always feels better to be kind to yourself rather than hard on yourself anyway.
Does anyone else know the postsecret site? PostSecret
If you don't know it then it's a great site I think... This week's secrets are particularly great I think, especially if you click on the comments at the very bottom of the page. Some very very wise words that have inspired me and it's led me to reflect a bit about my life. So the next paragraph is just waffle. This is going to be long but I really think this is an important step in beginning to be able to move on emotionally and with my diet, so feel free to skip. This is just me needing to vent.
It's ok to be scared about making big choices. It's also ok to leap into the unknown and be scared and not know how things will work out, but the important thing is really to follow your heart and run after the things that make you happy. If you let these things pass you by then you might end up miserable and regretting stuff. I never ever want to regret one single thing in my life. I think to date there's only one time in my life I wish I could change my actions and that was when I was a stupid, naive 17 year old. Even then I don't regret it as such I've just made sure I learned from my mistake.
And I think to be honest part of the reason I've not been so great on the diet recently is because I'm scared about the decisions I have to face, either now or in the next year or so. I've also not been facing the fact that I'm scared. Properly scared, deep down. But if you don't take a risk then you'll never know. Sometimes the worst thing to do is the safe, easy thing. Hm. This is probably not making sense to anyone but me so I'll explain a little.
Obviously my OH and I are long distance at the moment. We're in limbo. He was over here for 6 months total and we were together for that time. Then he lost his job, couldn't find another one in 3 months of looking hard and had to move back to new zealand (he comes from there). We were going to split up but we were both absolutely devastated at the thought. So it was a sort of case of "you're free to go and date anyone you want to, do whatever". But neither of us wanted to at all so we stayed together. Things have been going really well even long distance for 6 months now. Last month or so he's been making the odd hint at wanting to take the next steps forward with our relationship (talking about moving in together etc) - I'm at the moment planning on going and working over in NZ for a year before doing a PHD either there or here. And then the last time we spoke on skype he talked about surprising me with something he hoped would be a good thing but he was really nervous about, that it was involving something that he had to pick up from somewhere, and that was going to enable us to spend a lot more time together. Hm. Now this has sparked off some major feelings and head spins with me because I have a strong suspicion the thing is an engagement ring (and that would lead to us spending a lot more time together, if we got married obviously!). He also made it perfectly clear that him moving to england was not on the cards at all. So it made me realise that either now or the next few years I'm going to have to face moving to the other side of the world to be with him, or breaking up with him and staying here. I mean there's possible other options as well (maybe moving somewhere halfway like canada) but again because he had such a hard time getting a job in new zealand too, he's only just found a job there, I really really think he's not going to want to give that up and move anywhere else.
Now I realise that whilst I don't mind moving to NZ for one, two, five years eventually I really want to have kids and have a family one day. These are the big decisions I'm having to face. You can't do a 26hr flight with young kids which would mean it would be virtually impossible for them to know my family. My family and friends are so important to me that I don't know if I could deal with being so far away from them, permanently.. Just me, I can fly back a couple times a year to see them. But if I have a family that pretty much means I'm installed in NZ for good.
So I hope this makes it clearer why it suddenly hit me about these huge decisions, and why I am really bloody scared. I think OH assumes that I'm going to be moving out there and I don't know if I can. I've also tried to make it pretty plain to him that I don't know.
Just going back to OH popping the question (if it's not that now then I do still have to think about this anyway if we're going to have a future at all!).. One minute I think "say Yes! He makes me so happy and I do not want to miss the opportunity to be with someone so special and who I really love so much, for the rest of my life".. and the postsecret stuff just reinforced that the most important thing is to make the choices that will make us happy. It might involve risk. The next moment I think "No way, it's too soon to know (only been going out a year!), still too many unknowns with the whole NZ/UK/canada thing, it would be certifiably nuts to say yes etc etc".. And I just can't seem to come to a definitive conclusion..
Gaaaaah. What a mess. You know one of the things that we did in counselling once is to do a meditation. So I meditated on it a few times, cleared out my head and just listened to my intuition and my heart. Each time the answer was that yes it's a massive scary thing to do. But that I shouldn't be put off by going there and at least trying. The stuff with kids can be worked out. Yes I would miss my family but there are such things as planes, it's not the end of the world... In short, I should go for it.
Gaah anyway sorry for rambling on. This debate has been going on and on in my head and heart for days now and it is going to be something that I can't just come to a decision overnight and nor should I....
bronski
Anything But Ordinary
WOW!!! Wowowowowowow!! That's incredibly, incredibly exciting! But I can see why you're scared, I hadn't realised that your OH was in NZ (wow, appriv. much, Bron!) That'll definitely make the NZ trip more fun
Back to the possible engagement. You're right, you do need to follow your heart. The thought of moving away is a big one, especially when it's to a different country. But where home is isn't measured by place, it's measured by people. More specifically, the *person* that's right for you. If that means you have to stay in NZ because he doesn't want to/can't leave, then you'll still feel home because your partner's there.
So what if you've only been out a year! A long distance relationship is the biggest test of love; if you still want to be with each other even though you can only speak via. webcam and can't see each other, then it's not just a partnership based on lust or physical affection. But the 2nd biggest test is seeing each other after a long period and just slipping back into "standard routine" as it were. When you get there, you'll know how right it is.
Bare in mind that an engagement isn't the be all and end all. If you want to take the plunge and say yes, it doesn't mean that you have to go through with a wedding six weeks later. You can have a long engagement and if you don't think it's right then you can call it off. Saying yes does not tie you down.
I think you'll know what to do when you get there and see him. Whatever you chose, make sure it's what you want to do in your heart, then the head can have a say later. But no matter what you decide, none of us will judge you for it, we will walk with you which ever path you chose.
Bron
Back to the possible engagement. You're right, you do need to follow your heart. The thought of moving away is a big one, especially when it's to a different country. But where home is isn't measured by place, it's measured by people. More specifically, the *person* that's right for you. If that means you have to stay in NZ because he doesn't want to/can't leave, then you'll still feel home because your partner's there.
So what if you've only been out a year! A long distance relationship is the biggest test of love; if you still want to be with each other even though you can only speak via. webcam and can't see each other, then it's not just a partnership based on lust or physical affection. But the 2nd biggest test is seeing each other after a long period and just slipping back into "standard routine" as it were. When you get there, you'll know how right it is.
Bare in mind that an engagement isn't the be all and end all. If you want to take the plunge and say yes, it doesn't mean that you have to go through with a wedding six weeks later. You can have a long engagement and if you don't think it's right then you can call it off. Saying yes does not tie you down.
I think you'll know what to do when you get there and see him. Whatever you chose, make sure it's what you want to do in your heart, then the head can have a say later. But no matter what you decide, none of us will judge you for it, we will walk with you which ever path you chose.
Bron
PurpleButterfly
16lb to go!
Awwww bron, that's so darn sweet and very wise words! *hugs*
I was just about to apologise for spilling my guts and getting all deep and that. Afterwards I did that I then plucked up the courage to talk about it with my mum on the phone. We had a really good chat and arrived to the same conclusion: it's really too soon to know either way. But I'm feeling much more relaxed in acknowledging the fact that it is too soon for me to decide something like that. She also said something like you said bron, that this will be a test of the relationship now: if it is the "one" then it will feel like coming home and like that's where I should be. My mum's a very wise person actually and she's amazing I can chat about anything with her. Anything at all.
Oh, some other good news: 3 of the 7 squatter lbs have gone overnight. So hopefully the others will go quickly as well: I'm feeling less bloated today which is great. Been making an effort to be exercising again cos I feel so much better when I exercise as well. Although I've eaten maintenance calories today it's been all good stuff and no crap. My body is feeling much better for it as well. So it's a step towards getting back on track with losing weight and I'm crediting myself for it, not beating myself up
I was just about to apologise for spilling my guts and getting all deep and that. Afterwards I did that I then plucked up the courage to talk about it with my mum on the phone. We had a really good chat and arrived to the same conclusion: it's really too soon to know either way. But I'm feeling much more relaxed in acknowledging the fact that it is too soon for me to decide something like that. She also said something like you said bron, that this will be a test of the relationship now: if it is the "one" then it will feel like coming home and like that's where I should be. My mum's a very wise person actually and she's amazing I can chat about anything with her. Anything at all.
Oh, some other good news: 3 of the 7 squatter lbs have gone overnight. So hopefully the others will go quickly as well: I'm feeling less bloated today which is great. Been making an effort to be exercising again cos I feel so much better when I exercise as well. Although I've eaten maintenance calories today it's been all good stuff and no crap. My body is feeling much better for it as well. So it's a step towards getting back on track with losing weight and I'm crediting myself for it, not beating myself up
PurpleButterfly
16lb to go!
Bron I would rep you but it says I have to spread it around more before I can. If I could I would!
bronski
Anything But Ordinary
Hey you!
Glad you're feeling a bit calmer about it all now. Your ma's definitely a wise person, it's good you spoke about it with her too.
Never apologise for talking about something on your mind. Even if it takes up an entire page if it makes you feel better then do it
Oo yays, squatters down! That's ace, the others will be gone in no time.
Happy sunday!
Bron
Glad you're feeling a bit calmer about it all now. Your ma's definitely a wise person, it's good you spoke about it with her too.
Never apologise for talking about something on your mind. Even if it takes up an entire page if it makes you feel better then do it
Oo yays, squatters down! That's ace, the others will be gone in no time.
Happy sunday!
Bron
PurpleButterfly
16lb to go!
Awwwww bron you really are lovely hun
So I had a lovely day today. Mum and dad both came and visited me with no other purpose other than to see me. Really sweet! So lovely to see them as well and we had a picnic in the park, beautiful day for it too... I just put through my last load of washing ready for packing. Although I haven't packed yet, I have all my stuff I need to.. I'll be able to pack on tuesday before I leave. I'll also have some time tomorrow morning. Mum and dad also complimented me on how I'm looking. I also put on some 3/4 length trousers that used to be tight, now they're really loose. Still nice though. That's twice in a week my legs have been exposed, more than in the whole year I think!
Diet wise, well I've decided to stop fussing about it for a while. When I'm at the palace it'll be super easy to lose weight cos I cycle both ways = 90mins a day, burns tons of calories. Plus you're on your feet all day. Easy to lose a stone in the 3 months I'm there. Soo... I think no need to worry too much and better to give my head a bit of time to relax. I mean, eat healthily and well but just not to lose weight, to maintain it. I feel much better for that decision. I'll go back to the old thing of only eating when I'm hungry. When I do that it makes maintenance easy.
Anyway feeling good today
bron you really are lovely hun So I had a lovely day today. Mum and dad both came and visited me with no other purpose other than to see me. Really sweet! So lovely to see them as well and we had a picnic in the park, beautiful day for it too... I just put through my last load of washing ready for packing. Although I haven't packed yet, I have all my stuff I need to.. I'll be able to pack on tuesday before I leave
. I'll also have some time tomorrow morning. Mum and dad also complimented me on how I'm looking. I also put on some 3/4 length trousers that used to be tight, now they're really loose. Still nice though. That's twice in a week my legs have been exposed, more than in the whole year I think! Diet wise, well I've decided to stop fussing about it for a while. When I'm at the palace it'll be super easy to lose weight cos I cycle both ways = 90mins a day, burns tons of calories. Plus you're on your feet all day. Easy to lose a stone in the 3 months I'm there. Soo... I think no need to worry too much and better to give my head a bit of time to relax. I mean, eat healthily and well but just not to lose weight, to maintain it. I feel much better for that decision. I'll go back to the old thing of only eating when I'm hungry. When I do that it makes maintenance easy.
Anyway feeling good today
bronski
Anything But Ordinary
No worries, sweetheart
That's really lovely that your 'rents came to see you! Sounds like a wonderful day too, yay for picnics!
Sorry, you've probably said already, but when are you flying?
Palace? Is that in NZ? That's pretty awesome, cycling to and from a palace and working there Oh being your feet all day will burn loads. When I was working in retail, even though I was eating all kinds of rubbish, I got to my lowest weight over the Christmas period. The weight will literally melt off!
Bron
That's really lovely that your 'rents came to see you! Sounds like a wonderful day too, yay for picnics!
Sorry, you've probably said already, but when are you flying?
Palace? Is that in NZ? That's pretty awesome, cycling to and from a palace and working there
Oh being your feet all day will burn loads. When I was working in retail, even though I was eating all kinds of rubbish, I got to my lowest weight over the Christmas period. The weight will literally melt off!Bron
PurpleButterfly
16lb to go!
Haha! No, I have a summer job at buckingham palace. Now if they could move buck palace to NZ that would be double amazing
Flying day after tomorrow (tuesday). Countdown really on now!
Flying day after tomorrow (tuesday). Countdown really on now!
