The end of the line, or the beginning of a new life?

[hugeherbo]

Thats given me so much inspiration to keep at it, sometimes though it does seem like the world is against you when everybody os eating all the stuff you love right infrount of you lol

 

[minusfour]

The apartment does look fantastic. What sort of things do you do during the day there? The self sabotage is insidious, isn't it, creeps in slowly and can catch you unaware. Keep up the battle, darling girl, you are well on the way now.

 

[White Tulip]

During the day on holiday........well, it's pretty much the same wherever we go and to be honest, OH driven. We get up around 8 and then I pop to the supermarket for fresh bread etc and have breakfast on the balcony. We then read until early afternoon and then OH gets ready and we go for a walk somewhere until around 4 or 5pm stopping for a beer/water whilst out. Come back and read for a bit and then go out around 8 until around 11.


The couple of issues I have are that I'd prefer to go out early - before 10am as I don't like to be out whilst it's hot. We always go out each day at the hottest time and it's because OH is very slow at getting himself together. He'll say 'I'll just finish this chapter' and 2 chapters later he's no further on. He then gets moody saying he's on holiday, which is true but it's all done at his pace and to his choices.

I always have bus timetables researched so we can visit adjoining towns etc but by the time he is ready to go it's hardly worth going because it's mid afternoon by the time we get there. I'd prefer to get a bus around 9am, spend the morning/early afternoon somewhere, get the bus back for around 4 or 5 and then chill rather doing nothing for ages and then trying to cram stuff in whilst it's really hot.

Then we'll come back and the evening will start ticking by. I'll be ready and he'll be reading. I will say that if we don't go out, we'll not have time to eat as the restaurants will be stopping service. He says he doesn't like to be rushed but then it gets to 10.30 and we're in a bar and he's wanting something to eat and there's only late night fast food or he's wanting to know if there's anything I can do for him when we get back to the apartment.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for chilling out on holiday (and that all makes me sound a right old nag!!), but every holiday is dictated by what he wants to do and when. I've tried to raise this but he just gets defensive and it spoils it a little knowing that we'll be walking every day when it's touching 30C and out and trying to get dinner when most people are thinking about a couple of late night drinks.

I've been doing some eating related soul searching today. I'm struggling and I think it's down to the lack of choice of liquids Ihave.

I have breakfast (shake) at 8am, lunch (bar) around 1pm and dinner (soup) at 9pm. I have a golden vegetable flavouring around 6pm because of the huge gap between lunch and dinner.

I don't drink coffee at all and I don't like black tea. I can't have milk in tea unless I do SS+ and whilst I've never been much of a tea drinker I really am craving something hot to drink. I'm drinking huge amounts of water and need some 'flavour'.

I thought about going to SS+ but I'm not sure that's the answer. Going to 4 products plus milk would give me the chance to have tea and an extra shake etc at some point but I don't want to gain a new habit of 4 'meals' rather than 3. If I have (say) chicken on SS+ I would have it in my soup and that doesn't solve the lack of something with flavour during the day.

I asked my CDC what teas I can have and she suggested red bush, camomile or a detox one with various flowers in it and to avoid anything with orange or lemon in it because of the citric acid. None really float my boat to be honest. I've found this site today

tea

and I'm wondering if the Luxury Berry one will be allowed. I've emailed them to ask if they have any added sugars. After that I guess it's whether they have citric acid in the fruits, I'm betting they do but we'll see.

The nice thing today was that I decided to order some tops from evans in a size 22-24. I bought one from ebay and it fits great for my holiday. I thought I'd try a few more then send them back so I know I can happily buy cheaply on ebay inthe same size

I ordered this top

top

in a 22/24 and bizarrely a size 16 arrived - it says on the invoice I ordered a 16 which doesn't match with their website which says 16 is out of stock!

anyway, I decided - for a laugh - to see how far over my head it would go.

I got it on!! I was really surprised. It doesn't fit by any stretch of the imagination - the tops of the arms are like surgical stockings and you can see some horrible bra related lumps of flesh on my back.......but I reckon it's about 3 stone away from fitting....so I've taken some photos of myself in it and I'm keeping it, I'll do photos at 6 stone and then 7 stone off and see how long it takes for it to fit.

OH was saying last night that 9 stone is the average weight for a woman.........sigh..I tried to explain that it wasn't (this is all linked to me aiming for 11 stone 5)..I showed him a photo of a lady who had her weight loss blog published as a book. She went from 25 stone to 12 stone 7 and there is a full length photo of her in the book. She's my height, in size 14 top and jeans. I showed him the photo and asked him to guess her clothing size and weight if he felt the average (ie his accepted idea of what a woman should be) was 9 stone and a size 12. He refused to guess saying I was ******* him off . I feel he got defensive because although she looks fantastic and lovely and slim (and my idea of 'normal') he knew I would be trying to highlight something and so didn't want to commit himself.

I told him her weight and dress size and he paused and looked. I felt there was a bit of realisation and asked if he felt she was 'big'. He paused again and vaguely pointed at her hips indicating lumps....

I said 'that's because she has her hand in her pocket'...........

Here she is

http://www.dietgirl.org/dietgirl/photos.html and the first photo is a similar top/jeans/weight/dress size to the one in the book. I personally see nothing wrong with how she looks but I guess we have just totally different perceptions of size.

 

[honeykiss]

HI WT,

Just wanted to say Hi, I often pop in to have a read have not been posting much as fell of my short Exante journey and have been struggling to get back on it.

I don't want to seem out of line, I don't know you or your situation but on reading about your OH I feel so sad becuase there are plenty of men out there that would love someone as warm, generous and caring as you come across in your posts and your OH does not deserve to have someone like you.

I feel I may be speaking out of turn but he is mentally abusing you, if it was physical everyone would be telling you to leave him, is it something you have considered? I cannot believe he is trying to dictate what size he wants you out, very controlling behavior, my guess is as more weight comes off his behavior will get worse as he realises you are controlling your own future and he cannot.

I apologise if my post offends, it is not intentional.

You are doing so well on your journey.

Wendy x

 

[White Tulip]

Hi Wendy

Not speaking out of turn at all. Over the years I've got stronger and stronger, I always used to accept what he said, would believe it and get upset. I now answer back, I've learnt how to deal with his comments calmly amd take issue with them.

I've got another 2 stone to go before I get to the weight I got to with SW. That was 5 years ago when I wasn't as mentally strong as now. It will be interesting to see if the situation deteriorates even more after that.

I have played out a long 'we're finished' speech in my mind a thousand times. I just can't seem to tip the scales over the edge into saying it.

 

[Awaken Me]

:sigh: You have perfectly put into words how I feel about CD at the moment..bored, bored and bored. I know it isn't helping that TOTM is looming and now I am having regular periods again about a week before I start I am starving, deep down in the belly rumbling starving. I don’t even want to eat greasy, stodgy food a chicken or prawn salad would be enough. Oh well, I do have my 810 week coming up soon so that gives me something to look forward to.

Love the new top and about the size 16. I have a stack of them in my wardrobe now and keep trying them on just because I can. Yes,they are tight and yes you can see my sausage as it has been christened but I can get them on and that in itself brings a huge smile to my face. I would love to see some pics of you as you must have changed so much. It's my 5 month CD anniversary today and had my pics taken so I'll probably post them tomorrow when I've weighed in .

OH is a prat. My Daughter is about 8st 9lbs and she is so tiny and if I got to 9st then I’d look anorexic. Hell, I'd be ecstatic if I was a a size 14. I agree with you about the lady in the blog she looks great and the perfect weight/size for her frame/height.

You keep doing what you are doing. You’ll have the last laugh.

 

[kellierocks]

I've read the book and love her!
Get him to read it and see about her OH- supportive and loving.
Enjoy your hol as much as you can, would you ever consider heading out early without him?

Relax and unwind I hope

 

[minusfour]

Can you trying spoiling yourself with other things to relieve your boredom? (I indulge myself with magazines, nail polishes, body creams etc?) I'm bored with my diet, which is no where near as restrictive as yours- what does your conseller suggest you do about the boredom- except for the teas?
Love the top! Nine stone? Young teenagers maybe.
What would happen if you told OH that you were leaving earlier- during the holiday days- to avoid the heat, and if he didn't want to do same you would be happy to met him somewhere, or spend the day alone. Not meanly or aggressively or anything, just as you might with a girlfriend?

Oh seems to reduce most things to some sort of confrontation. Most adults negotiate and compromise, OH seems to take a bullying stance first, and if this fails the old childlike I'll take my bat and go home if you don't do it my way. Can you tell us about him- biographical type info, what sort of work does he do, does he like it, earn as much/more/less than you, is he interested in politics, does he save his money, what sort of past has he had? I can't even start to work him out!
Three weeks to go until your holiday, is that right?

 

[White Tulip]

What would happen if you told OH that you were leaving earlier- during the holiday days- to avoid the heat, and if he didn't want to do same you would be happy to met him somewhere, or spend the day alone. Not meanly or aggressively or anything, just as you might with a girlfriend?

he would just say 'ok' and let me get on with it. I often just pop to the supermarket or the shops nearby for something to do whilst waiting for him.

Can you tell us about him- biographical type info, what sort of work does he do, does he like it, earn as much/more/less than you, is he interested in politics, does he save his money, what sort of past has he had? I can't even start to work him out!
Three weeks to go until your holiday, is that right?

ok..(ready for this?! )...he is 51 and will be 52 next month. He's almost 12 years older than me.

He's a Quantity Surveyor and is self employed. I have literally no idea what money he earns. He did let slip once he's on around £250 per day but I have no idea if that's correct. His politics are a little...1970s trade union, up the workers. I would say mildly left wing, he hates the conservatives with an utter passion. Takes to his soap box quite a bit and if I try to discuss anything vaguely political (I'm not political at all) I get verbally derided if I have any kind of opposing view.

He was married in the late 80s. He had a son in 1987 and the marriage ended in 1991 when he had an affair with a colleague and she got pregnant. He said that he 'got to 30, saw the cardigan on the back of the chair and thought, there has to be more to life than this'. This was then changed a few years later to it all being her seducing him and well, what was he supposed to do. He went to live with her and his daughter. They split when she was nearly 3, he says she was violent. He hates both women with a passion. He moved back to the street his ex wife and son live on to be near his son but I understand his ex wife was livid (as I would be to be honest). He has always been 'so what, my choice'. He rarely sees his daughter now, once a year at the most. Both women have moved on to have long standing relationships with other men and I think they feel the same about him as he does them.

He doesn't save. Well, I say he doesn't. He has a small mortgage, an old 16 year old car and has been doing up the house he has since he bought it around 15+ years ago. He has small outgoings and is frugal with money but always lives on his credit cards for some weird reason. I think he does save - he says he keeps the money he earns so it tides him over when he has no work. This is fine, but he refuses to discuss his finances even though when we got together I was utterly open about mine. Everything is 'that's mine, that's yours'. He said when we first met that because his ex-wife took him for everything he would never 'share' again.

He's said we'll never marry, have children or buy a house together, unless it's to leave his half to his daughter. His son gets his house.

His mum died when he was 15 and his younger brother died around 15-20 years ago. Both of a sudden genetic heart condition. This has made him who he is, i'm sure of it. He very, very rarely mentions either and all I know is that his brother was a good rugby player and had a wife and a couple of children. I know his Mum's name but nothing else. I think he probably shut himself off mentally at 15 and has never opened up again. He was offered tests (cholesterol based) when his brother died to see if he has the gene, he refused and is adamant it goes down his mum's side and that he takes his genes from his dad.

Both his ex wife and the mum of his daughter have chased him through the courts for money but after the first few years he put himself in a position where he wouldn't have to pay the CSA. That's why he won't take a salaried post even though he could earn 60-70k and keeps his life frugal. He said he doesn't want to pay out even though I reckon he's quietly earning a lot of money. Him and his best friend have a company where they pay themselves the minimum wage and then take a dividend as directors. It keeps their money 'hidden' and it' just the 2 of them. Legal apparently but a bit below the belt.

He does construction law court work sometimes and is very good at finding hidden loop holes and turning things around. He uses this skill in any 'conversation ' we have where it is deteriorating, he just turns words around and then makes me out to be the one saying the wrong thing.

He has never said 'i love you' and once said he can't say it because he 'doesn't know me well enough' even though I've heard him say it to his son who he sees pretty much daily at the moment now he's finished university.

I'll stop there and do a separate post about my CD journey today!!

 

[White Tulip]

OK, I had an email from the leaf tea company. They are going to ask their suppliers if there are added sugars in the leaf teas - amazing customer service! They've recommended their red bush tea. I'll see what the suppliers say and then buy at least one lot of something to try.

I have decided how to tackle my current demons. SS is 3 products, SS+ is 4 products plus 200ml skimmed milk.

I am going to do SS with a couple of splashes of milk a day in tea. It's only a tiny few calories, I won't get anywhere near 200ml a day and it will give me warm drinks and something with some flavour. Because it's allowed on SS+ I know it won't mess around with ketosis.

I am going to do SS plus splashes of milk for all of next week and then SS+ the week after. Then I'll do 810 and then it's my holiday. Perhaps I should do 1000 the week before my holiday, I don't know. I'm not going to start shovelling cakes etc down me the minute the plane lands but I don't want to get bad indigestion etc when I start eating.

Another 'wow' comment from my manager in the top I was wearing today.

I'm also half considering ordering a top from evans that's a size 20. The 22/24 fits nicely but I wonder if by the time I go on holiday a 20 will fit as well because the 22/24 is a tiny bit baggy now......

 

[minusfour]

That is great service from the tea company, isn't it? Your plan sounds like a good one. Congratulations on the wow!
Thank you for filling me in a bit on OH. Of course I have more questions- you knew it I bet. Only answer if you feel inclined!

Did he only have the one brother? Has he kept in contact with the children of the brother who died young? Is his thinking that he has inherited his fathers genes only based on anything other than wishful thinking? Is his father still alive? Was it known that the brother who had the condition had it before his death? Is the condition treatable?

I wasn't terribly surprised to hear about his political affliations, nor the lack of child support payments. In Australia, they have started stopping anyone who owes child support leaving the country on holidays, but there are so many of them! My father nicked off when I was six, and i was the youngest of four, and he never paid a single cent, can you imagine? The rationale behind not paying I can't quite understand- I've heard men allege that the mothers intend spending the money on something other than the children- lipstick or something?- but the reality almost always seems to be poverty stricken single mums. If they did get the money, it seems unlikely that it wouldn't go to the childrens needs. It's interesting that OH aligns himself with that 70s trade union position- when the workers really were victims, but had an idealogy that they were willing to stand up for. I don't know that I would classify OH as much as a victim to be frank! I think it is great to support fellow man- united we stand, united we fall and all that, but what about supporting his own children? Mmm!
Oh, I am such a sticky beak, I'd love to know if he is saving, bet he is if you suspect so.Does he give you any money toward his food etc when he stays at your house? Do you think his directorship funds etc would stand up in the cold light of scrutiny by tax agents- legit or dodgy do you reckon? Why do you reckon he is so tight when he has really escaped his financial responsiblities as far as his children go? If I spoke with him, do you think he would describe himself as the victim of these "grasping women"in his past?
Is he nice looking? Does he have many friends? Do you think he would describe himself as basically successful in life? What are your favorite things about him? Is he funny? Well informed?
Ok, I'm nearly done, promise! Why do you think he has told you not to expect to be told I love you? and all the no children, no house, no marriage malarky? Do you love him? Is yes, do you tell him so?
My OH is 18 years older than me. Yours is a spring chicken my darling girl!

 

[White Tulip]

Did he only have the one brother? Has he kept in contact with the children of the brother who died young?

yes, just the one brother. He also has a sister who is alive. He hasn't really kept in touch with his brother's children. He said for a few years he sent cards at Christmas/birthdays and to begin with spoke often on the phone but it slowly tailed off.

Is his thinking that he has inherited his fathers genes only based on anything other than wishful thinking? Is his father still alive? Was it known that the brother who had the condition had it before his death? Is the condition treatable?

It's head in the sand thinking that he has the genetic make up of his dad. They do look alike, but I've never seen a photo of his mum. Yes, he's still alive and is around 74 or so and pretty healthy for his age.

No, it wasn't known. It was a sudden death, just like their mum and the same heart/cholesterol related condition. All the family were offered tests as part of research around 15 years or more ago now to look at seeing if they had the gene and he refused. I don't know if it is curable but I would guess it is probably controllable but he won't entertain any kind of thought about knowing.

Does he give you any money toward his food etc when he stays at your house?

For the first few years he contributed nothing. Every so often he would get on the offensive if I mentioned money and he'd say 'right, I'll give you £500 and that'll be the end of it' but he never did and it was all about a little tantrum. When I lost my job 3 years ago I told him I couldn't afford to feed us both and I have access to his credit card. I used to buy around £80 worth of food from the supermarket and have it delivered and then I'd pay the rest for the month (around the same). To start with he was very picky about what I'd bought but if I offered him the receipt he'd say he wasn't bothered. I cook from scratch every day and buy virtually no processed foods and I'm very frugal with the pennies - batch cooking etc. He makes no contribution to the water, gas, electric. I've tried to ask but I just get 'so you think I should pay for here as well as my own house?' and I can't be bothered to try to explain even though I know he knows what I mean. He showers here whenever he needs to - even if he's been at his own house and is then going out. It used to be because the boiler wasn't working but it's been fixed for years.

Do you think his directorship funds etc would stand up in the cold light of scrutiny by tax agents- legit or dodgy do you reckon?

They would I think. It's a bit of a shady legal loophole apparently and he is very good at exploiting stuff like that.

Why do you reckon he is so tight when he has really escaped his financial responsiblities as far as his children go?

I think because he feels any visible signs of material wealth would spark demands from the CSA for money. His ex (the one had the affair with) and daughter called to see him last week - on the premise they were going to the dentist nearby. He felt his ex was there to 'nose around' and he always says that's why he keeps the house and car looking like work needs doing.

If I spoke with him, do you think he would describe himself as the victim of these "grasping women"in his past?

yep. Definitely. The past women are all evil bi-atches and he's been hard done by all his life.

Is he nice looking? Does he have many friends? Do you think he would describe himself as basically successful in life? What are your favorite things about him? Is he funny? Well informed?

I think he's good looking. I always say he looks like Harrison Ford did in his early 50s. He has 1 very close friend who he is in business with, 1 other friend and then all the lads from the football team who he just 'knows'. No, he wouldn't say he was successful.

My favourite things?? He can be funny, he is very intelligent and very good at thinking up ways round things. Sadly there are flip sides to all those characteristics He's exceptionally good at DIY. He is well informed. He watches the teletext every morning (static news pages on TV, not sure if that's a non-UK thing) listens to a talk only radio channel and has a good education.

Ok, I'm nearly done, promise! Why do you think he has told you not to expect to be told I love you? and all the no children, no house, no marriage malarky?

I have no idea why he won't tell me he loves me. He says he 'just can't'. He says he's done the children/shared mortgage/marriage thing and would never do it again - because he feels he was taken for everything - but forgets it is because of what he did!!

Do you love him? Is yes, do you tell him so?

I had to sit for a minute. I want to say 'yes' but it's so tinged with images of how horrible he can be. I have probably told him ...........half a dozen times.........but it's because I'm so used to rejection that I daren't say anything that will promote any kind of 'whatever' reaction. I have slowly tried to shut myself off from having visible emotions because of all the 'get off, why are you coming near me, get your arm off, I don't like how you kiss, move away, I'm watching the TV' comments over the years.

My OH is 18 years older than me. Yours is a spring chicken my darling girl!

The age thing isn't a problem for me - I prefer older men

 

[White Tulip]

Weigh in tomorrow.........done my measurements and another half inch (almost an inch) off my waist. A couple of bits have gone into the current charity bag and my weekend trying on of clothes that are too tight is happening at the moment. 1 top has been 'promoted' so far and I have 2 pairs of trousers I need to shorten the hems on and then they will get moved I try everything that is within a stone or so on and a couple of other bits that are 2-3 stone away and it's great when they start to fit a little bit better each week.

 

[leeds123]

good to catch up on your diary WT. you seem to be doing amazing. I am back for the last leg of my rather scenic journey!

yes, brush up on that dear john speech. cant wait to read about it when you have delivered it!!! hahah

 

[minusfour]

Good luck for your weigh in! Are you still feeling as bored with the diet? It must be such good fun trying on the smaller sized clothes!

More questions, you just knew it!
When does his liabilty to CSA end? Does this depend on his daughters age, or has he a debt that he has to pay whenever in the future? Would the CSA really check things like his car and house condition? (I don't reckon they would do that in Aust.) Has he ever had to pay out large amounts of money for either child or partner in the past? Do you know if he has any reason to believe that women are scheming- has someone schemed against him? Do you think he is being truthful about the second woman's violence? (I read today that nearly as many women as men are victims of domestic violence, which surprised me!)

Do you think that he has some secret cache of money, somehow hidden- a bank account, safety box, shares which he hides somehow? If so, what do you think he intends to do with it one day?

Does he have much to do with his father, and sister? What do your family think about him?

What does he believe in? (religion, philsophy, anything? He sounds quite cynical!) Do you know what his parents believed in?

In the past, when he was saying things like no marriage/children etc, did you think that this would be his last word, or did you think he would change his mind as time went on? Did it worry you either way?

Did you think that you had a future together, that you might grow old together?

Once, just after my marriage had broken up, I said to a girlfriend who had known us both for a long time that he was "just so funny", which, at the time, I really thought he was. "So weird you mean" she replied, which I thought quite mean at the time, but in hindsight was true. My ex had a unique view of the world, which I pretty much adopted whilst I was with him. He was very cynical about a lot of things, and it took me quite some time to realise that (I had a brain and could think for myself) I wasn't, at least not about the same things.

Do you think OH excludes you as being a grasping biatch? In truth, he isn't actually paying his way with you, is that correct? Does he help with housework or errands?

If I'm being offensive, please just ignore!

 

[White Tulip]

When does his liabilty to CSA end?

not sure. She's now 18 and off to university. I know they can go back 6 years though...

Would the CSA really check things like his car and house condition? (I don't reckon they would do that in Aust.) Has he ever had to pay out large amounts of money for either child or partner in the past? Do you know if he has any reason to believe that women are scheming- has someone schemed against him? Do you think he is being truthful about the second woman's violence? (I read today that nearly as many women as men are victims of domestic violence, which surprised me!)

yes, they can check. It's about the lifestyle being commensurate with his income and he has been careful to keep the 2 at the same 'pace'. Yes, when he split with his daughter's mum, they hammered him. They have weird rules about a second child and can take huge amounts. Some men have been led to suicide over it I just think he feels that anyone doing something 'against him' is scheming, I don't know where it stems from though. Yes.......I think there were problems. He told me early on that she was violent and it was due to being abused as a child...yes, I think that's true.

Do you think that he has some secret cache of money, somehow hidden- a bank account, safety box, shares which he hides somehow? If so, what do you think he intends to do with it one day?

I think he may. He has told me more than once he hides money in the house and then forgets where it is. I feel he is planning for retirement - he has no pension.

Does he have much to do with his father, and sister? What do your family think about him?

not much contact other than birthdays, occasional catch up conversations. They all live in another part of the country. They get on (as much as any family) but he isn't into the 'family' thing but then I'm not. I have been very, very careful to keep everything 'smooth' when family are here and they wouldn't guess. I half dread anyone visiting because he will start saying something at some point.

What does he believe in? (religion, philsophy, anything? He sounds quite cynical!) Do you know what his parents believed in?

You know what.....I haven't a clue. As far as I know he has no religious beliefs. We've never ever discussed it and I have no idea about his parents.

In the past, when he was saying things like no marriage/children etc, did you think that this would be his last word, or did you think he would change his mind as time went on? Did it worry you either way?

Originally I thought things would change - get to know someone, trust them etc but I now know it's set in stone. As a (kind of) joke, I bought some chocolates at last Leap Year that spelled out 'marry me' and gave them to him. He opened them, snorted and word for word literally said 'you must be joking. I wouldn't go down that bloody path again'.

Did you think that you had a future together, that you might grow old together?

originally, yes. He was a real knight in shining armour Because of the shared interest we had when we met, I thought we'd really have a deep and intense understanding of each other and I'm of the school of thought of planning a future with someone who you can really get along with.

Do you think OH excludes you as being a grasping biatch? In truth, he isn't actually paying his way with you, is that correct? Does he help with housework or errands?

if we split, I would be branded as that in some way. He'd say that I was expecting him to contribute etc. The only contribution is the food, yes. No, he does no housework or errands. He likes to critisise what I do though - only yesterday I mentioned something housework related and he said 'any chance you'll be cleaning above head height or below waist height?' He knows I have a back condition so bending to clean isn't the easiest thing in the world
Once or twice a year he will cut the grass and although he's decorated 3 rooms here, it has taken 7 years and each room had to go to multiple arguments because of failed promises.

 

[White Tulip]

Weigh in number 14!

I lost 4 pounds this week, so that's 5 stone 4 pounds or 74 pounds I am pleased with that. I'm 18 stone 6 and can smell 17 stone something before my holiday really beckoning me.....

Having tea plus a splash of milk is really, really helping me get through the day.

Another half inch off the waist so 8 inches in total I am really trying to tell myself the belt on the plane will fit with lots to spare, but I'm taking some convincing.

I am going to have to step up the plans before my holiday. My biggest concern is starting to eat some kind of fat and having some kind of gallbladder type pain. I've never had gallbladder diagnosed but over the last 5 or 6 years whenever I do a diet and then suddenly introduce something fatty I get horrendous pain in the right shoulder blade, between the ribs and groin pain, lots of wind and I once threw up with the pain after eating a takeaway curry after 6 months on a low fat diet. I am going to have to be very, very careful what I eat. I really don't want to spend a day or so with the pain as it's horrible. I was considering going to SS+ this week, then 810 next week then 1000 the week before my holiday, but I am a bit scared of 1000 when I'm still wanting to lose weight in case my body grabs it all.

I might do SS+ this week with 4 sachets and milk, then SS+ with chicken in my soup next week and then 810 the third week.

ooooh, and I realised - I have less than 100 pounds to go - just

 

[White Tulip]

unwell.

woke an hour ago, terrible indigestion. Hot then cold.

Decided to do SS+ this week with 4 products. Then also had around 100g cold leftover roast chicken which I shouldn't have done. Stupid.

Had 4 rennies and cup of tea. Very painful under my ribs.

 

[White Tulip]

another cup of tea, more pain and hot/cold, couldn't sit, stand, lay and then threw up, I guess from the colour a mix of tea and bile as there's nothing else really in me. It's slowly subsided since.

Had this a couple of times in my life and am guessing it was some kind of gallbladder attack although I've never had this diagnosed. Mum had hers removed around 10 years ago.

The irony of it really.......I moved up to SS+ as I know I'm prone to something like this if I eat fatty foods after dieting. Didn't think 1 extra shake and some chicken would trigger it though

Off back to bed as pain now gone. Awful, awful 3 hours.

 

[Tessieg1]

Hi White Tulip,
Firstly - congrats on your weightloss. That is truly inspiring.
Secondly - I hope you feel better soon! Sounds like you had a terrible time.
Might be worth just having a word with your CDC about it and see what they say?
Take care.