The end of the line, or the beginning of a new life?

[Sarah_V]

Hi White Tulip,

Your posts are inspirational, I am starting Monday after a few ups and downs, I too have been reading Icemoose's web site, he is brilliant isn't he!

We have similar amounts to lose and I am absolutely determined to do it this time...

Can't wait to get started now..

Am going to keep reading your posts too as they are brilliant, well done you xx

 

[White Tulip]

Good luck with it Sarah, I agree icemoose's website is excellent, really helps with changing thought patterns on losing weight.

Felt so tired after work, burnt lots of brain cells this afternoon and also felt like I had a tiny bit of a sore throat. Almost didn't do Wii Fit but thought this is the kind of time I need to push myself a little - 15 minutes is hardly a hardship. Did 10 minutes freestep and 3 minutes boxing and then 5 minutes balance. I'd perhaps like to get my total up to 20 minutes by this time next week with 15 minutes being aerobic and then 5 of yoga or balance. One day at a time though! The free step did start making my right hip hurt. I have some damage to my right knee and the right side of my back and it was pulling a bit so I need to be careful.

I keep thinking about events in the future and working out how many weeks away they are and how much I'd like to have lost by then. I might be meeting up with a friend on the 13th who I haven't seen since March - I have 10 pounds in my head for then. If I get an interview for the job I went for, that will be on the 28th August, I would like to be a stone lighter for then.

 

[Aaleigha]

Both of those are very doable
good luck with them - I love to set mini targets

 

[Awaken Me]

Must be something in the air I haven't been feeling great for a couple of days because totm on its way and an eczema flare up means I have been an unhappy bunny.

Well done on the continuing the exercise, it does get easier so they tell me.

Speaking of future of events we were talking about our Xmas party at work this week, which is ages away but the place we go to is usually booked by mid September. On 8th August it will be 4 months since I started CD (by which time I'm hoping to have hit my 7st loss) and I'm aiming to lose a stone a month after this. So I was thinking by the time our Xmas party comes around I could have lost 11 stone or more - I can't even begin to imagine what I will look like.

 

[White Tulip]

you'll be belle of the ball Sharon

 

[White Tulip]

I can't believe how much chocolate etc I have turned down in the last 24 hours. I look back in horror at how much I ate at work.

Wednesday there was loads and loads of cake on offer, yesterday there was a load of individually wrapped cakes and today - more individually wrapped cakes, large cookies, packet of flapjacks and Thorntons individual caramel shortcakes.

I went to my ex's to see my dog and he was having a clearout. At Christmas he bought a hamper of Thorntons chocolate and ate very little of it. He's given it to me and it's a bag of fudge, bag of toffee, box of baby mince pies, box of various favoured toffees/chocolate and a box of Christmas truffle chocolates. My sister and niece are coming to stay during August so I will give some to them and the rest to OH. The old me would have had at least 2 pieces of cakes/biscuit etc each day plus the 2 wagon wheels I bought each day and I could have easily eaten a bag/box of something from the hamper by now!

My 3 stone bead arrived and it's really nice. I have the one I want for 3.5 stone on my Watch list on ebay. It's a birthstone one for May.

Ache a little round my shoulder blades after doing the wii but on the 10 second 'punch however you want' on the boxing, I went a bit mad

 

[PinkyJay]

I know what you mean at work we have chocolates etc brought in by patients to say thanks as well as on someones birthday. I would munch away at them and not think anything of it. You have done very well to avoid them and must be suffering with a case of "extreme will power". Just think about the pounds you have saved yourself. Go girl xxx

 

[minusfour]

Good on you for resisting, I'm hopeless about sugar!

I've been thinking a lot about your post about your parentage. My parents died when I was fairly young, (mother, step father, and father), and I didn't have any grand parents, so I've had to try to work things out by considering their position at the time things happened. (Ie- as individuals, aged in their 20s, 30s etc, rather than as my parents)

This has been really enlightening. It allows me to imagine what I might have done if faced with the same situation, and to try to consider what problems, and options they had at that time.

If you can try to consider your parentage from this perspective, you might find it helpful, and rather than any shame, begin to appreciate that your mother and dad, (non biological) only had limited options, and none were perfect. I know it's easy for me to say, but this reflects absolutely nothing on you as an individual.

 

[White Tulip]

I have to say minusfour that the CBT book I'm reading is helping. It says that it's not what happens to you that shapes you but how you allow your thoughts and beliefs to form following something happening. It is also about breaking free of the feeling of having to be 'perfect' which is something I do.

Mixture of thoughts today. Decided to try the Biggest Loser Wii game I have on. Nearly did me in! Did 2 of the games and won one of the challenges Did the cool down stretch twice (2x 8 minutes) and think I did about 22 or 23 minutes in total. Very hard work though.....well for me it was!!

Sat at my desk and someone comes into the office and says to my boss (who is tall, slim, probably a size 12) 'have you lost' weight' and then started talking about a friend who looks so great after losing 11 pounds. I thought - I've lost 4 times that amount in 7 weeks and still nobody notices? I know I have a huge amount to lose and so it will be longer before I look different but I can start to see changes in myself, particularly with my waist and tummy. I've lost 6 inches off my waist and around the same off my chest and also my hips.

I've just measured my hips/tummy and the tape measure now officially touches It must be 4 years since I was last able to say that !

I really hope that when I do lose more weight I get a good figure. I am very hour glass shaped and have measurements which are roughly in proportion so am keeping everything crossed I shrink evenly all over.

 

[White Tulip]

Got a bit of a grumbly upset stomach this afternoon . Bit ironical as I was considering taking a couple of laxatives as was starting to feel a bit bunged up.......good job I didn't really!

Did 23 minutes work out and 6 minutes warm up with Biggest Loser wii game. Really don't enjoy traditional work out with a trainer stuff and have been looking at other wii exercise games to find one which is more fun. The Wii Fit Plus game is top contendor. I've got Wii Fit but feel I'm quickly going to get to the end of either choices or get bored of the same games.

Fingers crossed for tomorrow for a loss.

 

[minusfour]

Good luck for your weigh in!

 

[White Tulip]

4 pounds off so 48 in total in 8 weeks

Very pleased with that. I have 9 more weigh ins to my holiday and am really aiming to be 18 stone 'something' by early October.

Did Wk 8 photos and set up a Wk1 and Wk8 photos side by side on the computer and showed OH. He said 'bloody hell' and really looked shocked. He said he could really see a difference which for him is a real compliment!! I can honestly say it's the first time I can remember he didn't then come back with a dig to lessen the compliment, I really think he was surprised.

Next week is going to smash through both the 50 pound barrier and the 3.5 stone mark

 

[Awaken Me]

Yay..well done Tulip your great losses continue and I have no doubt that you will sail past the 50lb mark next week. It's also nice to hear that you got a lovely compliment from your OH - a sign of things to come perhaps.

So when do we get a look at those pictures of yours

 

[White Tulip]

not a chance with the photos I look like I haven't slept on them (worrying indication of how I look generally ) and that I've been dragged through a hedge backwards.

The camera is at such an awful angle, lower than my face to it shows all the awfulness of the underneath of my face

Maybe in a couple of stone

 

[minusfour]

Excellent loss, congratulations! I loved OH's comment, straight from the heart!

 

[White Tulip]

My OH is so used to name calling and constant digs, I really didn't think he realised the difference so far. I have also noticed an 'air' of him not wanting to talk about my weight loss because he has nothing to have a go at me about. I say 'I've lost x pounds' he mumbles 'that's good I suppose'.

He has started to give a few little jibes about exercise though. Apparently I 'should buy some running shoes and go out for a jog'. I asked why and he said 'you just should'. I've said I am choosing to do exercise on the wii for now (which he knows) and he just shrugged and turned his nose up and said nothing more.

He finds it impossible to be enthusiastic about anything I achieve, there always has to be a backhanded dig whatever the situation and however well I've done. If there is nothing else I could do better he has nothing to say other than mumbles and shrugs.

I won't be beaten though

 

[minusfour]

No, I don't reckon you will be. Sometimes it's possible to use that sort of negativity to fire yourself up- be ironic if he actually was helping you!
Does he run? Is he fit?

 

[White Tulip]

his whole attitude now is what is partly powering me. In the years gone by I would be so hurt, I would cry and he'd start the whole 'why are you so defensive' when I didn't want to talk about it - because of the way he 'barked' his thoughts at me.

He is fit-ish. He goes to football training once a week and he used to be very good at judo. He's 51 and I think is fit for his age other than he is a heavy smoker. He is around 2.5 to 3 stone overweight - all beer/eating big portions of food related. It's all on his tummy but isn't overly noticeable. He blames me and says my portion servings are too big. I serve less and he goes into Kevin the teenager mode. I tell him leftovers in the pan are for freezing for another day, he eats the lot straight after whatever he's had on his plate and apparently that's my fault. He's called me a feeder twice in the last 3 months.

However.......

a couple of excellent things to report I have achieved a mini goal in that my first piece of clothing in a size 24 has been promoted to the 'fits and wear' wardrobe It's a pair of cropped trousers with a button and zip fastening. They are stretchy but now fit really nicely. I'm chuffed.

I also have a top coming from ebay. It's a brand new Joe Browns tunic in a size 24. I have an identical one in a size 28 and I love wearing it with trousers, it's brown autumn leaves pattern in a chiffon type material. I think the 24 should just about fit me. And I only paid £5

 

[Awaken Me]

Now I know I probably shouldn't but his ‘You’re a feeder’ comment did make me laugh. I really do admire you as it must be so hard to be surrounded by that negativity constantly. Good on you for using that to spur you on and make you stronger. I think he'll end up regretting the way he has treated you and you're going to be just fine - You're brill and I love your attitude.

And congrats on achieving your size 24 mini goal I’m dead pleased for you. There is no bigger thrill for me than getting into a smaller size – well apart from losing the odd stone

 

[minusfour]

Great news about the clothes fitting!

I've got to admit, I'm not as slim as I'd like, and I have been suspecting you are to blame too! Seriously, it is scary how much your OH sounds like an ex of mine! I'm glad you are getting some power from the relationship now, but I do wonder if he will not somehow "retaliate" when he realises you are slipping away. Be on your guard darling! (What is a feeder?)