I've still been doing quite a lot of faffing, it's taken me about 5 months now to lose this 3 stone, but I just keep focusing again on why I'm doing this. I'm also so determined to really see it all the way through to my goal. It's the first time in my life I've really dared set my goal all the way to actually a healthy weight, as I've never been prepared to believe that it may even be possible for me. I daren't give up on myself, as I don't know that I'd be able to get the motivation to get back on it again. Even when I wobble, I'm not letting myself think that I'm stopping the diet. I'm really finding tripple whopper's 100 day motivation chart really good. I've printed it out A3 size on bright pink paper, and today is now 13 days in a row on track (my usual TS /WS mixture!)
I'm still a bit nervous about actually getting all the way to the end. Today's scales result was a really big achievement for me... when I think back to how nervous I was even getting to the 16's and the 15's, it's amazing to see that I've now reached the top of the 13's. I've only got to get to the bottom of the 12's (all the way to the bottom 12:0) to hit a healthy weight. It really does seem possible, and I hope if I can keep this focus up that I may even achieve that healthy weight by the August Bank Holiday challenge - and then perhaps I can start reintroducing foods in September.
I was at a quiet day today, which was great to have time out to be still. There was a great verse that was read out that really struck home to me - 'Do not worry about what you eat, drink and wear' - it just seemed so relevant to me today! I'd been getting a little bit anxious about what happens when I get to goal - both about clothes - what on earth am I going to wear / what will suit me / look good, and also what am I going to eat - will I be able to find a way to eat that means that I won't put weight back on again. I guess I have quite a lot of fear that I will just pile the pounds straight on again once I finish this - which I really don't want to do. I'm trying to find some peace about it, and just focus on one day at a time.
At the moment, I know I can lose the weight, and that's what I need to concentrate on now. I'm building more exercise into my week, with the shred and the cycling; and I can feel it making a difference, I'm a lot fitter than I used to be. I think I just need to keep going with this and know that I can tackle things one at a time.
Step 1 - lose the weight (which I'm definitely on track with
)
Step 2 - reintroduce food without going loopy - plan for September
Step 3 - maintain my weight between 11:3 and 12:0, so that I never pop over the top of healthy weight again.
When I think back, my Dad used to keep an eye on his weight really carefully, and whenever he hit a certain point he would increase the amount of exercise he did, normally running /jogging, until he'd got it back within his happy range. I think I will need to do the same.
Anyway, I will stop waffling now! And back to focusing on today, and just staying on track to get this weight off!
