Step 1 Sole Source The Last Re-start!

I love reading it - you're a smart, determined cookie! Didn't get further than page 5 - my management meeting was over skype but they still got worried about the silence on my part LOL

I've restarted yesterday morning - had my two today too and I think I'm close to ketosis. I'm surely a whooping 4 kilos lighter this morning. Yes all water but hey, feels a million times better. Sadly I've re-read some threads from the beginning of my struggle and seen some pics from goal and I am incredibly disheartened - I seem to be working with a horrible patient, she self sabotages something stupid, how did I lose and gain a total of 350 lbs in the last few years?!? This has to stop. And hopefully it will now.
 
You just have to put that behind you, and stay determined to not do all the wrong things like you did then. You know what to do and how to do it - it's a question of us learning to stop sabotaging or own chances of happiness and good health. We can do this. :D

My counsellor is due on Monday and I'm dreading weighing myself! I think I'll take the cowardly route and stick to my Sunday weigh in.

Ha! You did well getting to page 5 lol :) Did you get to update your ticker? And Hey, well done on 2 days SS!! xx

Ps: do you have a diary thread I can follow along?
 
Yes the ticker updated after today's sneak weigh in. I should get a diary, I should but I fear it will be boring and it's one more thing to stress about not doing and so on. Gah excuses, I could use it, writing it all down, the commitment, all of it. Will do. Tonight even. Thank you for making me get off my arse.

Not stopping at page 5! Will get back to it, looking forward to it. You're actually a good writer, I am dying to hear what came next!
 
So:d@mn. Last night The Twat (aka ex hubby) came over with two jumbo bags of takeaway. Count 'em! TWO JUMBO BAGS. I kind of knew something was coming. When he came to dispense gifts on Christmas day he kept giving me funny looks and cornered me in the kitchen to demand what I'm doing to myself as my shoulders (!!???!) and face look slimmer, and my clothes were 'swimming' on me (I wish!) .... I managed not to use my world famous potty mouth and nonchalantly said that as I have surgery coming up I need to lose weight to lessen complications and walked out (oh okay, so I accidentally on purpose stepped on his foot AND knocked his a$$ into the fridge on my way out. Gently, but still. Twit.). So I knew something was afoot when he insisted on picking up our son and collecting me from my new job.

I have no defense. I was tired and stressed with all the new work information; my knee was throbbing and my new shoes were trying to eat my toes BUT it's not good enough: I KNOW this pig sabotages me at every opportunity. God forbid I get healthy, look sexy and find a man. Ugh. :break_diet: I inhaled the greasy "finger licking" carbs and disgusting junk. Day one scuppered. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Never again. And I do mean NEVER. This Twat will not cost me my life. But I have to take responsibility for myself. I chose to switch off my brain, higher reasoning AND ears (Sunshine Boy: "Mum, don't do it. What about ketosis?") and fell face down into the tub. Enough. I will NOT stay obese and miserable. I'm 38!!!! I'm tired of waiting for my life to start. What's worse is that gorgeous RC got in touch to wish me a Happy Christmas and ask if we can meet up in the new year (Yummmm! Yes please!!! :drool:).

So. I'm drawing a line under it and trying to be grateful for (and memorise) the lessons this Christmas season has taught me. And goodness knows there's been a LOT!

Today is day 1 SS. And I WILL win. All the way to goal!!!!!! xx
 
Last edited:
Clinquant said:
Hanging on a thread!! Only you could create a sense of anticipation over a dieting day!!!

Glad today is a good one. Keep on shaking!!
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Why are you hanging on a thread? It's funny, isn't it? But being able to eat all that food makes you look forward to SS lol:D who knew? You back on track on the 3rd? Well enjoy the social aspects of it love, you deserve it xx
 
scummy scummy ******* can t say more as ste and stepdaughter have just appeared. there will always be battles that we just have to chalk up but the war, it will be ours. may not make back tonight as ou and about but he is one utter xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

jxx
 
Oh no!! What a complete a**hole! Good on sunshine though :) next time (and there will be a next time unfortunately) you can take those takeaway bags and shove them straight into the bin and it will feel oh so good! Is there any way to stop twathead being in the house? Maybe he can take sunshine out and actually spend time with him instead of coming round purely to spy/sabotage you.

Go and see RC!! Please! I'm dying for this to work out! You totally deserve it and twatface will be so much easier to deal with when you have hunka hunka hanging off your arm ;)

Put that slip up behind you and breeze back into it. I know you can do it :)

Xx
 
Bubbles777 said:
Oh no!! What a complete a**hole! Good on sunshine though :) next time (and there will be a next time unfortunately) you can take those takeaway bags and shove them straight into the bin and it will feel oh so good! Is there any way to stop twathead being in the house? Maybe he can take sunshine out and actually spend time with him instead of coming round purely to spy/sabotage you.

Go and see RC!! Please! I'm dying for this to work out! You totally deserve it and twatface will be so much easier to deal with when you have hunka hunka hanging off your arm ;)

Put that slip up behind you and breeze back into it. I know you can do it :)

Xx
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That is totally the plan for 2014 and beyond! Now The Twat has a car there is no excuse for him to lurk in my home making my life a misery - I worked hard to ensure he and SB have a good relationship and now our son is 15 I'm done. An ex is always an ex for a reason, right?

I'm more pi$$ed off with myself to be honest. I know to never let my guard down and NEVER to see the ex when my reserves are low. Ah well. I'm not a robot, and it's pretty clear where over confidence and complacency can get you :rolleyes:. Lesson learned. Again.

And my lovely SB was once again my saving grace (read: conscience). I love that boy :)

As for RC? I can't wait to see him! How amazing would it be to go on a date!?! What am I waiting for? The minute, nay, nano second I get near 14st 13 I'm ALL over the dating situation like white on rice! It doesn't help that he looks like Action Man (ladies, picture the pecks.... :drool:) but it's more I feel sexy and cute in a rubenesque curvy size 14.... I want to feel great and confident when I see him - more ME if you know what I mean... So there's work to be done! Pre - Christmas I got to my mini goal of 15st 13lbs.... So I'm hoping the water weight and Christmas excess will be off my tummy and butt by next Sunday, then hopefully it's 1 month to 14st 13lbs? :innocent0001: It's all a bit clinical and doesn't really account for the vagaries of real life (sts, TOTM, etc etc), but I'm hoping and praying nonetheless :D xx
 
Gah I already hated Mr.T from page 3 - much more now! In particular because he knows he is doing this to you. My mister said twice today "uh well just give in and have some, you'd love it" but he knows reverse psychology works on me. If he told me "no, stick to your diet, you can't have this!" I'd be quick to tell him to sod off and reach for it!

I reckon that's a good kind of "last meal" - the forced by ex arsehole kind - this will surely fuel you to do well. Who knows, maybe it was meant to be so that you keep to it and if last night wouldn't have happened you wouldn't have had enough of a motivation shot for the long haul! No more breaks for the recommended 12 weeks now - or has it changed?
 
I reckon that's a good kind of "last meal" - the forced by ex arsehole kind - this will surely fuel you to do well. Who knows, maybe it was meant to be so that you keep to it and if last night wouldn't have happened you wouldn't have had enough of a motivation shot for the long haul!*
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Excellent!! Excellent way of looking at it! I'm going to use that..... You're totally right. That was the best 'last meal'! :D

I've never done it, but I thought you have an add a meal at some point on Cambridge? Is that week 12? Ignore me and ask your counsellor. I've not got the disposition to add a meal of any description at any week, to be candid, so I've never paid attention to it. I have to SS all the way, then (this time!) do maintenance properly and slooowly :rolleyes:

So SS for us all the way MissA? :D xx

Ps: your other half knows you so well! Lol. Plus he's done it himself so he knows what you're going through .... You've got a keeper there honey :) I hope your Bubba settled down x
 
The more you wee the lighter you'll be tomorrow/at weigh-in if you're that hard core :)

I will be honest - I think doing a SS+ or an 800 kcal week every 5 weeks (or whatever, every few weeks) would make mega sense - some of the glycogene and water retention would show but stop hypersensitivity, the metabolism would rev up, food wouldn't be the demon and it would make maintenance easier but there is NO way I am looking forward to that or want to risk it. Going VERY slowly up the steps - yes, that I can imagine but I will have to be in the "right, done with this, let's do the rest of our days" mental place at the end of the allowed 12 weeks stint. I reckon if I lose somewhere close to the last time (dreaming here) I ought to be done in 11-12 weeks (you should too, we have give or take the same goals) and there will be some more lost if we go up the steps the REALLY SLOW and CAREFULLY up the steps while getting exercise in- we ought to be starting on steps sometime mid/late March and then by end of summer we'd be skinny, happy and maintaining on a comfortable kcal level. (mine lower than yours likely as I've burned my metabolism badly and I am a midget anyhow)
 
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