The story of happyhealthy's expedition to maintain!

Nearly forgot!

Thought of the day: I really need to stop putting salt in my porridge. I've completely overhauled my eating and I can honestly say I could never go back to eating badly but after 19 years of always flavouring my porridge with salt, it's more of a habit than anything else. BUT IT NEEDS TO GO. I'm not addicted to it or anything, I know I wont even miss it it's just the in the early hours if the morning I'm on auto plot, and it's only when I'm adding the salt I wake up and think "Oh deary me, forgot not to add the salt!". From tomorrow I won't put salt in my porridge. I'll try cinnamon (very good for your metabolism) instead :)
 
Well the I decided instead to put pepper in my porridge and went down well! Pepper is a superfood too and it was onmonmon tasty. So take that salt!

This morning I was out running and during a break I got chatting to a fellow runner. The lady was just starting out and I during our conversation she told me that she's love to be slim and told me how lucky I was 'to have my body' and she hoped 'I'd never feel the torment that being fat brings'. And do you know what? I quickly changed the subject to suggesting a better route for the lady. I never told her that raw 'torment' of being bigger was me only 7 months ago. After parting ways, I was running and thought to myself "Why I'm I ashamed?" When I was a bigger person I was ashamed of my body, but why I'm I ashamed now I've lost all my weight? So I continued my run and started thinking to myself, I was embarrassed of that person I used to be. I didn't like admitting I was 179 pounds only 7 months ago. I don't like people finding old pics of me. I don't like it when pictures surfaced on Facebook, on the internet, or in my email. I don't like looking through old photo albums. I don't like talking about how much I used to eat, how lazy I was, how I drank too much fruit juice, how I ate a sweet pudding every night, how I used to sometimes shop in the plus department for clothes, how my underwear always crept up too high to you know where, how I couldn't always shop in topshop like other girls my age because some of their 16's were just too tight.

I didn't like to think back. It made me sad. I'd let it all go, and I was ashamed.

Losing this weight has given me a chance to start over. When I met new people, they didn't know the old, "fatter" (hate that word) me. They only knew the new "thin" me, the one with a small waist, the one with a somewhat semi flatish stomach, the one with lean legs, the one who looked and appeared "healthy". So why I don't I want people to know otherwise? Why don't I want them to know that not that long ago I was anything but "healthy" and anything but "fit". I was the anti-fit.

...and I was ashamed.

In a way I was still hiding behind "me." I was no longer big, but I wasn't being honest...with anyone. I wasn't even being honest with me.

Because the truth is that old person? She IS me. She will always be a part of me. She is part of what brought me to who I am today, and I wouldn't trade who I am today for anything in the world. Nothing could replace the pride and satisfaction I now feel. I am happy. I am confident. I am healthy. and I am "fit". Me.*This epiphany came to me as I was running past a fishmongers, which you know considering I've got the Dali Lama's tree to contend with, isn't all that glamourous. However, it was a very important realisation for me.

That shell my body used to wear is long gone, but the memories, experiences, and trials will forever be a part of me, and I can finally say I don't ever want to forget.

I'm finally honest. I am who I am. Take me for who I was, who I am now, and who I plan to be. It's ALL part of me. "Fat" and "fit". "Weak" and "strong". "Naive" and "trainable". This is who I am now.

When I was coming back into my house, I was stopped my my two neighbours also coming back from a jog. We've rarely see each other these past few weeks since they've been on what seems like 3 holidays and we've been on holiday- they are the cutest old little husband and wife couple. They train hard together, and they both look incredible. We compliment each other often on our physiques, our hard work, and the gains we are making.

Today, due to not seeing me in a while, they approached me somewhat in awe. They'd stumbled across my "before" pictures in an old album they found from two years ago when I popped round on Christmas day with some festive cookies I made for them. They couldn't* believe those pictures were me.

Just the same, they wanted to talk to me about my weight-loss, how it started, what motivated me, and how it stuck.

Apparently the husband was bigger too, way before I was born. He was 19 stone at 5'7. I didn't dare ask him what he is now, but I will tell you that he* is extremely "cut" and looks every bit the part of a seasoned athletic (albeit, he is in his 70's but he's the best looking 70-something I know). He quietly told me the condensed story of his weight-loss, but he quickly admitted he's not quite where I am yet. He's still shy about his weight-loss. He doesn't want people to see his old pictures. They are old reminders of a person he never wants to be again.

It wasn't until I had this realisation that was true to the memories of that old person and openly acknowledged them that I really felt free. I have nothing to hide. I wear my heart on my sleeve; why shouldn't I wear my memories and my transformation on my sleeve as well.

My hope is we can all gain strength through each others successes. And if you've recently undergone your own transformation, I hope you too will embrace it. Cherish it. Share it. Show it.

My advice? Try not to be ashamed.

I'm going to work on not being ashamed. It's not my current reality. The person sitting here right now? This is my current reality.

Every bite and lack of exercise that made me "fat" in the first place also in a way contributed to the stronger more motivated person I am now. Why should I be ashamed of that?
 
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Sweet Martha! Dinner was so so filling. I really had no idea what to make myself when I opened the fridge. I knew we had vegetables that needed eating, so I started adding a little bit of carrot, then a few garden peas, then a few mushrooms, then a few tomatos, then a few bits of broccoli. I ended up with a vegetable mound. I initially thought that I would add some wholewheat pasta, then I had the (un)fantastic idea of making it into a vegetable wrap. This ladies and imaginary gentlemen is my dinner. And yes that mound is purely veg! At least I know got my 5 portions of fruit and veg today. In one meal. LOL
 

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Couldn't agree more with your "don't be ashamed" statement. I am not there yet, but I have a feeling when the comments like "have you lost weight" or "you look slimmer, what have you done?" start coming my way, I will deny everything and avoid the subject like the plague.

Good luck on your journey to not feeling ashamed, because you shouldn't. You should feel nothing but pride for what you have done, and what you have achieved. You should feel proud of who you are, who you were and who you will become.

Nice one Lucy. :D:D:D
 
happyhealthy said:
Well the I decided instead to put pepper in my porridge and went down well! Pepper is a superfood too and it was onmonmon tasty. So take that salt!

This morning I was out running and during a break I got chatting to a fellow runner. The lady was just starting out and I during our conversation she told me that she's love to be slim and told me how lucky I was 'to have my body' and she hoped 'I'd never feel the torment that being fat brings'. And do you know what? I quickly changed the subject to suggesting a better route for the lady. I never told her that raw 'torment' of being bigger was me only 7 months ago. After parting ways, I was running and thought to myself "Why I'm I ashamed?" When I was a bigger person I was ashamed of my body, but why I'm I ashamed now I've lost all my weight? So I continued my run and started thinking to myself, I was embarrassed of that person I used to be. I didn't like admitting I was 179 pounds only 7 months ago. I don't like people finding old pics of me. I don't like it when pictures surfaced on Facebook, on the internet, or in my email. I don't like looking through old photo albums. I don't like talking about how much I used to eat, how lazy I was, how I drank too much fruit juice, how I ate a sweet pudding every night, how I used to sometimes shop in the plus department for clothes, how my underwear always crept up too high to you know where, how I couldn't always shop in topshop like other girls my age because some of their 16's were just too tight.

I didn't like to think back. It made me sad. I'd let it all go, and I was ashamed.

Losing this weight has given me a chance to start over. When I met new people, they didn't know the old, "fatter" (hate that word) me. They only knew the new "thin" me, the one with a small waist, the one with a somewhat semi flatish stomach, the one with lean legs, the one who looked and appeared "healthy". So why I don't I want people to know otherwise? Why don't I want them to know that not that long ago I was anything but "healthy" and anything but "fit". I was the anti-fit.

...and I was ashamed.

In a way I was still hiding behind "me." I was no longer big, but I wasn't being honest...with anyone. I wasn't even being honest with me.

Because the truth is that old person? She IS me. She will always be a part of me. She is part of what brought me to who I am today, and I wouldn't trade who I am today for anything in the world. Nothing could replace the pride and satisfaction I now feel. I am happy. I am confident. I am healthy. and I am "fit". Me.*This epiphany came to me as I was running past a fishmongers, which you know considering I've got the Dali Lama's tree to contend with, isn't all that glamourous. However, it was a very important realisation for me.

That shell my body used to wear is long gone, but the memories, experiences, and trials will forever be a part of me, and I can finally say I don't ever want to forget.

I'm finally honest. I am who I am. Take me for who I was, who I am now, and who I plan to be. It's ALL part of me. "Fat" and "fit". "Weak" and "strong". "Naive" and "trainable". This is who I am now.

When I was coming back into my house, I was stopped my my two neighbours also coming back from a jog. We've rarely see each other these past few weeks since they've been on what seems like 3 holidays and we've been on holiday- they are the cutest old little husband and wife couple. They train hard together, and they both look incredible. We compliment each other often on our physiques, our hard work, and the gains we are making.

Today, due to not seeing me in a while, they approached me somewhat in awe. They'd stumbled across my "before" pictures in an old album they found from two years ago when I popped round on Christmas day with some festive cookies I made for them. They couldn't* believe those pictures were me.

Just the same, they wanted to talk to me about my weight-loss, how it started, what motivated me, and how it stuck.

Apparently the husband was bigger too, way before I was born. He was 19 stone at 5'7. I didn't dare ask him what he is now, but I will tell you that he* is extremely "cut" and looks every bit the part of a seasoned athletic (albeit, he is in his 70's but he's the best looking 70-something I know). He quietly told me the condensed story of his weight-loss, but he quickly admitted he's not quite where I am yet. He's still shy about his weight-loss. He doesn't want people to see his old pictures. They are old reminders of a person he never wants to be again.

It wasn't until I had this realisation that was true to the memories of that old person and openly acknowledged them that I really felt free. I have nothing to hide. I wear my heart on my sleeve; why shouldn't I wear my memories and my transformation on my sleeve as well.

My hope is we can all gain strength through each others successes. And if you've recently undergone your own transformation, I hope you too will embrace it. Cherish it. Share it. Show it.

My advice? Try not to be ashamed.

I'm going to work on not being ashamed. It's not my current reality. The person sitting here right now? This is my current reality.

Every bite and lack of exercise that made me "fat" in the first place also in a way contributed to the stronger more motivated person I am now. Why should I be ashamed of that?

Do eating well and exercising make you emotional? This is another post I couldn't read without a tear in my eye. It all rings so true. Even now, if someone asks me if I've lost weight I'm more likely to say no and change the subject. Why do we do that? Such an interesting post. Well done you, Happyhealthy
 
Do eating well and exercising make you emotional? This is another post I couldn't read without a tear in my eye. It all rings so true. Even now, if someone asks me if I've lost weight I'm more likely to say no and change the subject. Why do we do that? Such an interesting post. Well done you, Happyhealthy

I agree with you Fiona, think alot of us on here like to brush it under the carpet when it's mentioned.
It's strange because usually in life we want to shout our achievments from the roof top, but not the fantastic achievment of weight loss.
 
BTW- Pepper in the porridge? *puke*

I have a grated apple and cinnamon in mine every school day. ;)
 
BTW- Pepper in the porridge? *puke*

I have a grated apple and cinnamon in mine every school day. ;)

Don't diss ma porriage Shrimpy!! :D I can assure you that it was the height of tastiness! Tomorrow I might even try a pinch of basil and pap some fromage frais in there too ;)
 
Do eating well and exercising make you emotional? This is another post I couldn't read without a tear in my eye. It all rings so true. Even now, if someone asks me if I've lost weight I'm more likely to say no and change the subject. Why do we do that? Such an interesting post. Well done you, Happyhealthy

Thank you! I know I probably seem very emotional, but I it's just random deep thoughts that is all :) Losing all this weight has changed my life. I've never, ever been slim, or even 'normal' - I've always been repressed by being overweight. And now that's all changed. And even though I'm so terribly, terribly happy it does make you reflect because you've seen life from both sides of the coin. I've seen people look over me and now people are treating me with value. I haven't changed, only my body weight and that makes you think about the world and the society we live in.

It reminds me of a quote I read some time ago by Frances Lockie:

"Even if all fat people are the way they are due to their bad choices, even if every single fat person is unhealthy, that does not justify sub-standard treatment. How can the health of strangers possibly inspire such vitriol? If you remain convinced that others’ bodies are your business and people must justify their existence to you, perhaps you should consider the possibility that you are an ars*ehole."
 
Lol at the quote.

It's very true that any one with a body that's different to the norm becomes almost public property!!! I mean jeez who's business is it if I'm a bit chubbsky? I knew a lady once who had burns and the same thing drove her mad. She felt like every Tom dick an Harry expected her to actually answer them when they asked her how it happened. It was obviously a bad experience for her that she didn't want to have to discuss with strangers!!! Same with my chubbskiness. Im like.....It's a personal subject so don't freaking ask me and I won't ask you how many inches your tackle is eh?

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
 
Squeezy and legomom - I can relate fully to what you're saying. When I was losing the beef I got a ton of people asking me "Oh how much weight have you lost" and I used to just say "Urm, well I didn't weigh myself before so I don't know" - which was a total lie as I used to stand on the scales in denial in all directions hoping that the 13 stones that the scales was telling me was some sort of malfunction and I was actually a healthy weight all along. Like I said (at great length lol), I'm trying to get over that. I want to tell people that I lost nearly 5 stone and nearly 40% of y body weight - not because I want praise but because I know how sad being overweight can be and I wan't to tell people that they don't need to be trapped in a larger body. I want to give them advice and help them lose their weight too. But first I'll need to get over being ashamed that I was once obese. I know I'll get there...eventually :)
 
HAWL YOU! I'm Scottish. We are the masters of the porridge!! I'll put bits of chicken in my porridge if it takes my fancy!!! :D :D

Well good luck with the chicken! :p

Wish I could try porridge with water. I just can't get the creamy sweetness of porridge made with sugar and milk out of my mind.
 
Well good luck with the chicken! :p

Wish I could try porridge with water. I just can't get the creamy sweetness of porridge made with sugar and milk out of my mind.

The first time you make it with water it'll seem odd and taste horrible.
To make it more palatable you could
  • Add some low cal sweetener to it
  • Add some grated apple and cinnamon like Shrimpy
  • Add some honey

You will get used to it. Promise. :p
 
Don't diss ma porriage Shrimpy!! :D I can assure you that it was the height of tastiness! Tomorrow I might even try a pinch of basil and pap some fromage frais in there too ;)

PUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!! :jelous::jelous:

Well good luck with the chicken! :p

Wish I could try porridge with water. I just can't get the creamy sweetness of porridge made with sugar and milk out of my mind.

I make mine with about 60ml of milk and the rest water, it adds creaminess and I fake the sugar with splenda and an apple. Though, I miss Porridge Islands* and cream. *drool*

*my mummy made VERY thick porridge, poured cream around it (to make an island) and dusted with demerera sugar... OMFG How I miss mum's porridge.
 
PUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!! :jelous::jelous:



I make mine with about 60ml of milk and the rest water, it adds creaminess and I fake the sugar with splenda and an apple. Though, I miss Porridge Islands* and cream. *drool*

*my mummy made VERY thick porridge, poured cream around it (to make an island) and dusted with demerera sugar... OMFG How I miss mum's porridge.

OMG!!!! Lterally cannot believe you just described porridge Islands. My Mum used to do the exact same thing. She used normal white sugar rather than demerera, but exactly the same. She still makes it for my skiiny as rakes brothers!! Ultimate comfort food.
Now Im drooling!! :)
 
I'm going to try and post up some body shots of my before/after weight loss once I get a proper 'after' shot. I'll need to get some poor soul to take a picture of me standing up against a wall or something, but until now I'll show you the only 'after' picture I've got on this computer. The 'before' picture was taken outside my Aunt's house 8 months ago and the 'after' picture was taken at the weekend lol! I know they're not much of body shots but they'll do for now :D

ps. you'll all be glad to know I'm now free from my blasted braces too lol!
 

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I'm going to try and post up some body shots of my before/after weight loss once I get a proper 'after' shot. I'll need to get some poor soul to take a picture of me standing up against a wall or something, but until now I'll show you the only 'after' picture I've got on this computer. The 'before' picture was taken outside my Aunt's house 8 months ago and the 'after' picture was taken at the weekend lol! I know they're not much of body shots but they'll do for now :D

ps. you'll all be glad to know I'm now free from my blasted braces too lol!

To be honest my love, you look gawgeous in both pics. :D
 
Squeezyweezy said:
To be honest my love, you look gawgeous in both pics. :D

Here here, or hear hear, I think that ones right. You are a beautiful lady. However much weight I lose I'll still look just like me. Lol!
 
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