This is me...my incredible journey

[weebles]

OOPS
Today
Meals - usual
water intake? 4litres thus far. Headache is subsiding.

I am STARVED - that is all I hafta say about that. Not giving in...will guzzle more water instead.

have a FAB night ladies. Hope all is well out there. Promise to read your diaries in the next couple of days. For me, the last few days have been exhausting - thanks for understanding

xx

 

[slendablenda]

B*st*rds.
You are a survivor hun. Be proud that you had the courage to save yourself and your second baby.
Women have to be so much stronger than those cowardly bullies.
You are like me - a soak in the tub is your sanctuary. I am so looking forward to being able to do it again. At the moment I only just have a quick splash under the shower - not the same.

 

[LadyT]

Omg weebs, don't know what to say to all that! I can empathise with some of what you say both through my childhood and married life was subjected to similar aspects of your life! I think the women's shelter hit the nerve for me I remember my mum raking us to one after one of her 'falls down the stairs' why are these men like this and why do us women have to suffer at the hands of them!! Good riddance is all I have to say on that subject!!

I have a new found respect for you beaut and wish for only good things to happen for you both now and in the future, so pleased you have the rose bush to have some you time with your son!!

Get that water down you hunny xxxx

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[Spanglymum]

I really don't know what to say. I am so sorry you and Magda have been through such dreadful times.

My parents weren't physically abusive (most of the time) but I did grow up in a very unpleasant atmosphere for lots of reasons, and struggled with our 'going to church on Sunday' outward image when I heard the rows every night. I just found it so hypocritical and nasty, which was confusing because everyone thought/thinks my parents are wonderful people. Truth is, they loved each other but hated their lives, and took the bitterness and resentment out on each other day after day after day.

And in this context, completely unconnected, my sister, my rock, my lovely, warm, sweet, caring big sister, suddenly died at 19.

People say what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. It's a cliche, and sometimes i think I'd rather be weak thank you very much than have the experiences, but it is true.

Is it any wonder we try to find something, anything, to make us feel a bit better?

Hmm. Food for thought xxx

 

[Julslynne]

OMG. Just been reading these posts with tears in my eyes. I don't know what to say weebs and magda other than you are beautiful people who never should have been treated that way. B.....ds. Nothin but bullies. You are both strong, inspirational women and i wish u peace in your hearts. Loosing a child. Doesn't bear thinking about. Weebs. A rose is a beautiful idea. Somewhere u can go to grieve, reflect and remember. Awe Hun. Thinking of you and sending u the biggest hug ever. Hugs to you also magda . Xxxxx

Loads of hugs

XxJulesxX

:wavecry:

 

[gracielou09]

Hey Weebs, your most definitely peeling away at that onion, you’re so brave. Massive steps being taken huni

Like so many others have said, why do men do it …they are animals.

My father was both physically and mentally abusive to my mum and mentally abusive to me and my brother for 18 years. He had many affairs but left following an affair when I was 17 …best day ever. I often talk about it with my mum as I cant understand why she stayed, but like you said weebs it was different back then, not sure when this all happened for you but it was 70’s 80’s for us. She said if he had laid a hand on me or my brother she would have gone – I wish he had as I think sometimes the mental abuse is worse than the physical, she didn’t realise I saw so much and how much it affected me. That surprises me as I used to beg her to go live with my Nan!!! You were so brave in what you did and leave him, so so brave huni.

I’m surprised my mum has turned out the way she has, she’s just great, travelling the world her own business etc she was never even allowed to leave the house before. I see you as a strong person huni. As kids we saw so much and although I didn’t think it had affected me that much, it’s not until recently I have accepted the fact that it did affect me. I know you and my mum went through a lot worse than me weebs, but I think I’m doing ok …apart from food, which I guess was what I used to comfort and push the hurt and anger away later on in life.

I understand those events even less since I had my daughter …how can someone be like that. I think he saw himself as the victim and not my mum….it was all about him. Any excuse to show her who was top dog…his food wasn’t on the table in time, not hot enough, she looked at him in the wrong way…any excuse really to knock her about and assert himself as a man. He didn’t even drink this was plain and simply my father. I don’t know half of what went on. He was never affectionate with me or my brother, or said he loved us or that he was proud of us, like I do with my daughter everyday! I really think he was jealous of us, we couldn’t breath right! One thing I was always scared of was that I would end up like him, think that’s why I didn’t have a child til I was 33 lol. I hate it if people say I look like him. I know now I’m nothing like him, I’m not perfect but I’m not nasty, manipulative and abusive – total opposite. Thank god I follow my mother! Don’t get me wrong I can get annoyed, more quickly than normal at a certain time of the month, but I think that’s normal for most women!!! I wish we had had some kind of counselling, especially my brother, it affected him more than me, he was 8 years younger. My mum miscarried a child before my brother and although she has never said it was down to my dad, I do often wonder.

I know this isnt exactly the same or as bad as what you went through huni, but I just wanted to share with you so you know I have some kinda inkling and relate to a least a tiny amount of what you went through and are still going through huni.
I dont want sympathy from anyone as it's made me what I am today ....a lot stronger if nothing else
Life eh!

Lovely to hear the rose bush is planted and enjoying our lovely uk weather. Can’t believe its June tomorrow, its frickin freezing!!

Love to you Weebs honey xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Clarabow]

Domestic violence is a b$$$tard of a thing. It touches so many lives. Out of the women I work with I would say about half have been through it including myself. I count myself lucky as I had the where with all to get out at an early stage before I was totally lost. Unfortunately I have the tendency to pick the same type of men time and time again. They just come wrapped in different packages lol.

Can I recommend a book. " women who love to much" can't remember who it is by but a real insight into why us women choose and put up with such abusive and disfunctional men in our lives.

Healing is possible, the scars remain. however, they do make us the fantastic compassionate women we are today.

So onwards and upwards lovely girls xx

Ps see weebs it's good to share x

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[slendablenda]

Women who love too Much

Link;

Women Who Love Too Much: Amazon.co.uk: Robin Norwood: Books

Some people might want to read it and others just need to move on.
xx

 

[LadyT]

Hope you are rested well and feel better for getting your thoughts down in your diary!

Big hugs xxxxxx

 

[weebles]

B*st*rds.
You are a survivor hun. Be proud that you had the courage to save yourself and your second baby.
Women have to be so much stronger than those cowardly bullies.
You are like me - a soak in the tub is your sanctuary. I am so looking forward to being able to do it again. At the moment I only just have a quick splash under the shower - not the same.

Thanks SB. Women are truly the stronger of the sexes. I am inwardly proud of what I did and had to do but yet ashamed that I actually allowed this to happen in the first place. Once again, LL helps bring all these nightmares to the surface to finally deal with and put it to rest once and for all.

You will have your soak soon, and it will be SPECTACULAR! xxxx

 

[weebles]

Big thank you to ALL! Wow, once again...I felt so alone before....but not now.
May sound odd, but my post was a release....HUGE release. Your support gives me warmth. Still early days but it is now out there...on the net and no hiding it anymore.
Happy ending to that time of my life? Yes, A. Hole married again - twice actually. First wife - he broke her eardrum while trying to throw her off a bridge: charged, and divorced, no kids. Next wife/victim - beat her in public, charged, fathered 2 more kids, left her for some other woman, now divorced. he is alone now, looks 87years of age and my son doesn't call him dad - calls him by his first name only. He actually tried to beat my son a few years back with a golf club d/t something stupid he imagined happened. My son called the police and was charged spent time in jail.

I rest easy knowing his life is miserable
xx

 

[gracielou09]

So glad you feel supported, big big hugs weebs xxxxxxx

 

[weebles]

This is an unbelievable week! Work is chaotic at the moment, stuff happening back home is slowly getting sorted as I finally got some help getting that done.
I went for another long walk tonight along the shores and watched some ships come in - beautiful! Last night I did my exercises with that silly ball. Only fell once!! This is a BIG improvement!
Water intake today was good.
Weather forecast is clear skies and warm temps - the clouds are lifting. HURRAY!! I think I am getting the approval I need not only from here...but someone up there is liking me :0) BRING ON THE LOTTERY!!!

Now for a quick peep at your diaries

xx

 

[weebles]

So glad you feel supported, big big hugs weebs xxxxxxx

Okay, will get use to those hugs - eventually.
You are an amazing person - never forget that. Your post above really got me thinking...

 

[LadyT]

Yay The weebster is back! Don't get me wrong good to see that side of you as it shows the CBT is working, but great to have the lovely, charming and witty Weebs back on board!

Who could not resist not smiling on you lovely!

I think you opening up has helped so many of us tackle hidden issues we rather not until now and big hugs to all those brave enough to share some of that on here, thank you x

Lol'ing at you and that flipping ball xxx

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[Clarabow]

Have to say it, what an amazing bunch of girls on here. Tremendous!

Tally ho .. off to do the cleaning. Have one of my friends visiting who is of the era of walking around with white gloves, bless her. Still gets me in gear. xx

 

[gracielou09]

Hey hun,

thanku for that lovely post here and on FB. Hope you didnt have to walk to work this morning, not good before your coffee fix, but great exercise.

Oh and hands remained above covers ...you little monkey hahahahahaha

xxxxxxxx

 

[weebles]

Good evening Ladies!
No walk tonight and defo no work out with involving anything stable. Either I have allergies OR getting/got a cold - so just a tad under the weather.
LOL - bus was on schedule today so no walking to work. PHEW!! I really do not function well without my morning coffee.

Menu today for week 14 (?) day - whatever
The usual grub. Finding it is getting boring now. Actually, it probably has been for awhile but getting closer to goal seems to enhance is boringness. ROLL ON END OF JUNE or July as my mind still isnt made up yet to go onto RTM.


Tried to post on some diaries last night but my computer started acting up and I had to log off. Will try tonight to catch up but word of warning...I am tired so words my sound good in my head but will end up putting them down wrong on here

later dudettes
xx

 

[LadyT]

You are doing so well hunny, keep it up! Hope you feel better soon xxxx

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[Catthin]

Well done on your continued weight loss.
Thank you for sharing your journey.
Cathy