TOUGH LOVE-APPLY WITHIN

[lisajade]

Do you know what the problem with diet plans like SW and WW is?? So called "free foods".... Seriously, this has been where Ive always been caught out with dieting previously. For most people trying to lose weight, all we want to do is feel satisfied, not deprived and eat what we like. In order to lure people into the diet world, these big "caring" diet companies do their homework and realise this, so they offer plans that have "free" foods...... For the majority, this is like telling a heroin addict that they can have as much methadone as they want...... its wrong.... Ive been there done that, gorged on all the free foods inbetween my "good" counted meals, and then been so disappointed at my losses.....
Its all about eating good nutritious foods when you are hungry..... only. Not trying to fill a void inbetween with anything... Eating high sugar processed foods is going to send your body into a spiral. Eat foods as near to its natural state as possible. Eat GOOD carbs, stay away from white foods... Everyone who has a weight problem, if asked will most likely say its because they love food too much...... no, we dont, and until a few months ago, I said the same, but I didnt, I ate crap, shoved it in, never tasted it, and ate it for the sake of it. I now eat beautiful, real food, food that has taste, food that really fills me up, that I can eat with my family, not trying to cook a separate meal where I end up sneaking some of theirs anyway because its what I really want, but I can have more of the tasteless stuff that Ive cooked... Since Ive realised this, with the help of Slimpods, and let go of the shackles of diet foods and diet head, Ive turned my whole thinking around. Now, I eat 3 small meals a day, protein based, with a little bit of carbs, I have one snack, usually desserty but its "OMG" SHOCK HORROR, full fat greek yogurt!!! a great source of protein with some berries..... sweet tooth, sorted.
So anyone struggling on a diet, review what you are doing.... you dont need to struggle, you need to feed your body properly with good proper food... You need to REALLY love food, not abuse yourself with it... If you keep forcing yourself to eat foods that you dont really want to, you are setting yourself up to fail.

Seriously, since I worked all this out, the stress is gone. Im going to get to where I want to get, because Ive stopped "dieting", Im just eating good food, in smaller amounts, and keeping a tally on MFP because I dont quite trust myself yet, but that will come when Im further along the road. This is about living, and no one can diet for life.... I tried for 20 years, and Im still the same weight..... Change how you think, get where you want to get.

DO IT.

Hi Clarri,

I do SW, and in my opinion, its about how you view your eating plan or so-called "diet" (bleurgh... dirty word). SW has given me a system to be able to quickly assess my food options, and make better choices. I see it as an education program, mixed in with practicing eating in a more balanced way. I think people who over-eat on free foods are misunderstanding the plan. I still eat the foods I like, the plan has just helped me to keep the ratios of fruit and veg in check, and encouraged me to cook more from scratch.

I am a recovering(recovered?) compulsive binge-eater, and I completely agre that a "deprived" mindset is going to lead to failure. I don't feel deprived, I like the structure and routines, and I am losing weight successfully without any potions or surgery (I had a gastric band removed 3 years ago and regained most of what I lost). I feel like I am finally learning how to make better choices. I intend to eat this way for life, so I don't see it as a diet, just as what I should have always been eating.

Don't get me wrong, I firmly believe that everyone is very different, and your plan is working for you, and mine is working for me. I just wanted to share that as I do believe that most forms of weightloss can help people, as long as the head is in the right place.

 

[ellemcphersonsuglytwin]

excuses, excuses....were all great at these eh? so your tired and you cant be bothered to run a bath but you can be bothered to get up and down and snack all night? that wont get you where you want to be. a glass of wine is ok, if you have enough syns/cals left, you dont have to live on rabbit food to lose weight. if its taking you over your allowance for the day and then your getting in the mind set of 'oh well ive blown it now i may aswell have what i want' then you either need to budget for it better, or like you say cut it out completely. if your tired on a night, get a bath, get your pj's on and go to bed and read a book, that is much better for the mind and body than a glass of wone and crap food, and youll wake in the morning feeling smug it doesnt take long to break or form a habit and your in control...decided what youd like to do, lose weight or excuse yourself for snacking and drinking wine and not lose any weight. instead of wine perhaps get some sparkling water and nas juice and drink it out of a wine glass, it will feel like a treat and your getting fluids inside you WIN-WIN ive done this many times before [/QUOTE]

All true! But boy you don't give an inch round here! I also note Rod telling me to swear off drink for a month and I'm going on holiday in 3 days. Ah now that is very harsh! Nonetheless! I can't really argue with anything either of you are saying. I either continue as I am or change. My compromise position - and you'll probably say I'm wimping it - is no alcohol between now and holiday. If I go over syns because I have wine on holiday then I have to bite the bullet while I'm away. If I'm honest with mself that could make all the difference between me coming back from holiday with a sts or half a stone on. Thankyou people, more what I needed to hear than what I wanted to hear but hey!!!! Ever think of taking this up professionally??

As regards the different diets thing, I honestly don't think it matters which way you choose to do it. They all work but only if you use your common sense and stick to them. I lost a heap of weight with WW a few years ago and it worked really well for me but I had less going on then. This time around I have more children, work longer hours etc and I found SW likely to be better for me. Nothing wrong with either diet just horses for courses. I think sometimes when people talk about something being a plan for life that puts me off a bit. There may be something that suits my life now but things inevitably change and you need to regroup. I suppose I just think the lifelong bit is learning that you can't take your eye off the ball.

 

[ellemcphersonsuglytwin]

Look at the mess i made of that last post. Mucked up the quote thing completely. Sorry - bring back the quill pen I say, I can't cope...

 

[lisajade]

I suppose I just think the lifelong bit is learning that you can't take your eye off the ball.

Thats so very true. Every minute of every day, be vigilant and be active in making your food choices. I am one of those people who would eat junk constantly, and my mind would only remember the healthy things I had eaten.

I had an excuse to overeat every day "too tired to cook", "don't fancy any of the food I've got in", "not feeling well", "had a bad day at work"... Pathetic! Once I stopped making excuses, I started losing weight. Its the single most valuable thing I have ever discovered in terms of weightloss.

 

[SmileyMan]

All true! But boy you don't give an inch round here! I also note Rod telling me to swear off drink for a month and I'm going on holiday in 3 days. Ah now that is very harsh! Nonetheless! I can't really argue with anything either of you are saying. I either continue as I am or change. My compromise position - and you'll probably say I'm wimping it - is no alcohol between now and holiday.

Pathetic! You're already setting yourself up to fail. Answer this simple question: why do you want to drink wine? Is it

a) It helps me to relax when I'm stressed out
b) It helps me to calm down so I can sleep better
c) It gets me in the mood for certain activities
d) Umm, just habit I guess

Right, so you're going to be ON HOLIDAY. So

a) Doesn't apply - you're on holiday, so you're not stressed. Just chill out and relax - that's the point of gping.
b) If you do that, then you won't need to calm down, and you'll sleep just fine. If you even want to sleep - you might be having too much fun
c) If a hotel room and a beautiful sunset over a foreign beach don't do it, a glass of wine won't either
d) You are addicted to a chemical substance. You're only possible escape is total abstinence.

 

[clarri]

It is horses for courses, obviously, but I do feel like I have to defend Slimming World here. Firstly, I am not attributing my loss to scoffing too many 'free' foods - as I said above, I have 'double checked' the portions I am eating by counting weight watchers points at the end of the day (which themselves are based on calories) just to check that I am not overdoing it, and I haven't been. This weeks gain was a bit of a freak incident, because I did exactly the same thing the week before and lost 6.5lbs.

But this week aside, I have done Slimming World in the past and lost in excess of 1 1/2 stone on it, so I know it works. The weight didn't stay off, because as soon as I had fitted into my bridesmaid dress, I thought 'ah stuff it now I will eat what I like'. Slimming World really does teach you healthy eating habits - the 'free' foods are not sugary cereal bars or diet products, they are in the main, fruit, veggies and complex carbs. Because they are filling, by not restricting yourself from eating them, you fill up on low-energy dense foods and naturally eat less of the high-energy dense foods, like dairy products and bread etc. It works because you don't have to weigh or count everything that goes in your mouth, and also (perhaps more importantly) because you don't ever feel hungry, which leads to a feeling of deprivation. It is quite easy to forget you are 'dieting'.

Just arguing the case! That's not to say there are other options out there, the key is finding the one that works for you and more importantly, sticking to it!!

Hi Clarri,

I do SW, and in my opinion, its about how you view your eating plan or so-called "diet" (bleurgh... dirty word). SW has given me a system to be able to quickly assess my food options, and make better choices. I see it as an education program, mixed in with practicing eating in a more balanced way. I think people who over-eat on free foods are misunderstanding the plan. I still eat the foods I like, the plan has just helped me to keep the ratios of fruit and veg in check, and encouraged me to cook more from scratch.

I am a recovering(recovered?) compulsive binge-eater, and I completely agre that a "deprived" mindset is going to lead to failure. I don't feel deprived, I like the structure and routines, and I am losing weight successfully without any potions or surgery (I had a gastric band removed 3 years ago and regained most of what I lost). I feel like I am finally learning how to make better choices. I intend to eat this way for life, so I don't see it as a diet, just as what I should have always been eating.

Don't get me wrong, I firmly believe that everyone is very different, and your plan is working for you, and mine is working for me. I just wanted to share that as I do believe that most forms of weightloss can help people, as long as the head is in the right place.

Im not disagreeing with you all, I just see so many on here with that mindset, including myself in that. I have a great friend that lost 6 stone on WW eating mostly free foods, but what Im saying is that there is a mentality in dieters to want to eat loads, above all else. And yes, its taken me 20+ years to understand this.... Crazy arent I??

 

[BonnieBooBear]

I STS this week so my heads bak in the game and there is gunna b a loss next week!

Well done Emma, in the context of the week you have had, I would say sts is a bit of a victory! Sounds like you are back with the programme - and what a shame if you hadn't, look at all those awards - great that you are back in the right headspace. Now make sure it is a loss this time next week, eh?

 

[BonnieBooBear]

Hilarious and great thread! If Rod needs a break, I'm available to step in. By way of credentials, I'm a rugby coach and I love nothing better than to make nine-year-olds do press-ups in the mud! So telling a few fellow porkers to buck their ideas up wouldn't even register on my callous-o-meter....

Hehehe Smileyman, welcome to the fray. I like the sound of the extra booting every now and again.

 

[lisajade]

Well done Emma, in the context of the week you have had, I would say sts is a bit of a victory! Sounds like you are back with the programme - and what a shame if you hadn't, look at all those awards - great that you are back in the right headspace. Now make sure it is a loss this time next week, eh?

I agree! Have a great week Emma! Let's see what you're made of

 

[exiguous]

Harsh but too the point hahahahaha cheers to smaller rears!

Have to laugh...I told a gay friend of mine that I was a secret eater. His very cutting reply was "It's no secret love - have you seen the size of your arse"!!!!

 

[Cat Lover Sue]

The very worst phrase I hear is "A little of what you fancy does you good." It's a nightmare if you're on a diet because those weak-willed amongst us (not any Bassers I hasten to add) use it all the time as a cop out. Of course we all fantasise from time to time about a certain foodstuff so my solution is this - eat loads of it all in one go. It's a kill or cure thing, a bit like when your parents caught you smoking (or is this just me...?). My dad made me smoke 3 fags on the trot whilst telling me how grown up I looked. Guess who threw up everywhere and could never look at a ciggie again. It was the same story with Vodka and Orange. Just a whiff of that nowadays takes me back to being 15 and surrounded in vom! Lovely - but it worked.

So coming back up the road from my weekend break I was drooling over Butterkist Popcorn. I couldn't get it out of my head after seeing my neice with some a couple of days before. So got a big bag from the services in Perth and by the time I'd got to Inverness I was almost wretching into the bag. Kill or cure - it did both. Don't want popcorn anymore - ever! Yes it's risky and you have to know yourself well to be able to handle something like that. So that's it done and over with. Had I got a small "fun size" pack I would have loved it and then wanted even more - and they would have landed in my basket in Tescos on my next weekly shop. Not now - no way Jose.

Anyhoo - works for me. So next time someone says, "Oh have it, a little of what you fancy does you good" - it's a load of crap unless you have an iron will!

 

[sparty]

Rod I think you have some competition from smileyman as chief butt-kicker!!! (quaking in my boots and dare not stray from plan!!!!!)

 

[Cat Lover Sue]

Hilarious and great thread! If Rod needs a break, I'm available to step in. By way of credentials, I'm a rugby coach and I love nothing better than to make nine-year-olds do press-ups in the mud! So telling a few fellow porkers to buck their ideas up wouldn't even register on my callous-o-meter....

I think I'm in love!

 

[Rod the Bass]

Hilarious and great thread! If Rod needs a break, I'm available to step in. By way of credentials, I'm a rugby coach and I love nothing better than to make nine-year-olds do press-ups in the mud! So telling a few fellow porkers to buck their ideas up wouldn't even register on my callous-o-meter....

HEELS TEETH IT'S A DUDE!! there is ANOTHER MAN on Minimins!!!!

mate, you are VERY welcome to step in, these fabulous ladies are getting seriously motivated and I've needed help since about day two...

I'll intro you to the Bass Troop of girls, the rundown is this

Lou - extremely likely to succeed, in fact is a superstar
Exi - cool as you can get
Cat Sue - you have no trouble with her, now I know what "swinging" is, I'm OK! Oh and she fancies you.
LisaJade - she had a rough start, but she is THE DISCIPLE and she is on the jazz!
Emma - she's in and out of love with the idea that she's almost cracked it and prone to sabotage. Be nice to Emma - AND TOUGH
Kneehigh - keep her out of the trifle, job done
GettingFit - since day one, she's there, staying there and annoyingly excellent
Bonnie - she'll be good this week I have a feeling
Jezzi - she'll stop binging any day now, extra tough love required
Clarri - I like Clarri, she talk sense!! rolleyes but I've been harsh. No I'm not sorry
Sparty - likes being told off , I'm sure of it
Lulafrootloop - full of excuses, take no nonsense
Sasser - prone to female chitchat bullsh!t, shoot this down
Slimmersally - she's a teacher. Say no more
Patchninja - she lives in France I think. Mind the cheese!
Ugly - her posts are 18 miles long and full of excuses, take no nonsense from her. Double the lash! GOAL DATE REQUIRED
Faery - she's cool. Minor blips, but she's on it. Needs to prepare better. Plan to make her plan.

thats the main content of your new harem plus a few slack-jawed excuse-laden wannabe's who post but think they don't need us..

allow no girly chit-chat, no compliments and no talk of quitting. And any ASAP/when it happens/when I quit cheating etc dates are banned!

YOU HEAR ME? BANNED

as this is the tough love thread, you get the treatment as well , waver at your peril sunshine.

and seeing as you've offered your services, you're on duty here this weekend.

I'm going fishing....

 

[conlou1]

Thanks Lou, I totally get what you are saying about SW - it only works if you eat the 'free' stuff within reason. Because I did weightwatchers for so many years, I have a sort of internal points library in my head - and very often I 'point' what I have eaten, as well as staying within the SW plan - so it is not like I am eating huge portions of pasta and rice or anything, and I even laid off the mullerlights, which SW kind of encourages you to eat 24hrs a day, as I remember then being 2 'points' each.

I can hand on heart say that I have been really, really good - the only thing I didn't do is weigh my musli, and after pouring what I thougth was 30g last night to check I probably have been eating about double that every day. But FFS, over a week, that is only an extra 350 calories - aren't there supposed to be 3500 in a lb? Aaaaaargh!

Ironically though, I am fitting into clothes which were a little bit tighter last week despite putting on, so I think it might be a fluid thing. But being so dependant on seeing little losses each week, it is really hard to see the big picture. And it feels like a week of wasted time.

Anyway, thanks all (and Rod below) for the whipping - the pizza was stupid but within my flexible syn limit, and having had a bit of an indulgence I feel like I can start afresh this week. After all, 6lbs in two weeks is something to be happy about I suppose. Will run tonight and see a massive loss next week.

Thanks all.

hi me again.....your extra 30g of muesli isnt an extra 350 cals a week, 30g of muesli (jordans, which is the one allowed on sw if i remember rightly also being used as a b choice makes it 6 syns which is equal to 120 cals roughly as 1 syn is equal to 20 calories) is an extra 800+ cals a week...ok its not a massive amount but this could go a way to explain your under estimating your amounts and values of things. you say your 'mentally' counting the points that it would be on ww, while doing sw so you know your not going over portion size...yet i presume your not weighing every bit of food you eat like you have to on ww, and im presuming you are no longer doing ww as it was unsuccessful for you? sorry if i sound harsh but the plain truth of it is your kidding yourself and in denial about what you are and arent eating. start from scratch, cut the snacking and watch your portion sizes, weigh everything that needs weighing and youll lose.....something will have gone wrong some where for you to gain, i didnt gain on my * week this time because im eating the same amount of food regardless of my mood etc, i had 1 day of temporary water gain, but drinking lots of water and within 24 hours it had vanished again. honestly....just start from scratch.

Do you know what the problem with diet plans like SW and WW is?? So called "free foods".... Seriously, this has been where Ive always been caught out with dieting previously. For most people trying to lose weight, all we want to do is feel satisfied, not deprived and eat what we like. In order to lure people into the diet world, these big "caring" diet companies do their homework and realise this, so they offer plans that have "free" foods...... For the majority, this is like telling a heroin addict that they can have as much methadone as they want...... its wrong.... Ive been there done that, gorged on all the free foods inbetween my "good" counted meals, and then been so disappointed at my losses.....
Its all about eating good nutritious foods when you are hungry..... only. Not trying to fill a void inbetween with anything... Eating high sugar processed foods is going to send your body into a spiral. Eat foods as near to its natural state as possible. Eat GOOD carbs, stay away from white foods... Everyone who has a weight problem, if asked will most likely say its because they love food too much...... no, we dont, and until a few months ago, I said the same, but I didnt, I ate crap, shoved it in, never tasted it, and ate it for the sake of it. I now eat beautiful, real food, food that has taste, food that really fills me up, that I can eat with my family, not trying to cook a separate meal where I end up sneaking some of theirs anyway because its what I really want, but I can have more of the tasteless stuff that Ive cooked... Since Ive realised this, with the help of Slimpods, and let go of the shackles of diet foods and diet head, Ive turned my whole thinking around. Now, I eat 3 small meals a day, protein based, with a little bit of carbs, I have one snack, usually desserty but its "OMG" SHOCK HORROR, full fat greek yogurt!!! a great source of protein with some berries..... sweet tooth, sorted.
So anyone struggling on a diet, review what you are doing.... you dont need to struggle, you need to feed your body properly with good proper food... You need to REALLY love food, not abuse yourself with it... If you keep forcing yourself to eat foods that you dont really want to, you are setting yourself up to fail.

Seriously, since I worked all this out, the stress is gone. Im going to get to where I want to get, because Ive stopped "dieting", Im just eating good food, in smaller amounts, and keeping a tally on MFP because I dont quite trust myself yet, but that will come when Im further along the road. This is about living, and no one can diet for life.... I tried for 20 years, and Im still the same weight..... Change how you think, get where you want to get.

DO IT.

love this post...i am the same i am an ex atkins and ex sw-er and ive lost more weight quickly from just eating sensibly 3 times a day and not snacking, drinking more fluids and walking more.

right...on the subject of which diet is best the fact is it is individual to the person, everyone feels the need to defend their diet, even if it stops working for them and i dont understand this, if it isnt working dont keep on with it for months hoping that youll suddenly start losing weight , try something else, its your body and your life......put yourself first, if losing weight is important to you then make it a priority and do all you can to make it happen. i agree sw is a great tool for people who have eaten unhealthily for so long they probably dont know how to eat right, it certainly taught me a great deal, in terms of cooking and herbs and good replacements for things etc, but it stopped doing the job, because i abused the plan, by over snacking, not exercising any portion control and feeling deprived and sorry for myself. a change in attitude was all i needed and ive not looked back. do what works for you...it doesnt matter a bit which diet you follow but never think that you can eat as much as you want of a certain food (sw favourite saying in induction meetings is 'eat a whole chicken if you want its free) and still lose weight, you cant. be sensible and be honest. every morsel of food that goes into your body counts, so make it count and put the best into your body if you want to get the best out.

 

[Rod the Bass]

Hi smiley.

I hear you're in charge while Rod's off fishing.

He alway lets us stay up late, eat pizza and post pictures of cats Promise



View attachment 55362

you play the supply teacher up all you like. Just git the pounds off whilst your at it

that is actually very funny - see if you're still smiling next time you step on the scales

 

[SmileyMan]

No problem, so long as your cats are OK with my dog Sirius. He's a rescue dog, part alsatian, part black lab, part horse. He was starved as a puppy and as a result he eats ANYTHING when he gets stressed out. He once ate a floor (long story). If you say the word 'pussycats' he will go berserk and will quite happily smash people and furniture out of his way to get to the imaginary moggy.

He's patrolling with me this weekend.

 

[Rod the Bass]

now. I'm seeing all these posts about "my diet" and the "best diet"

heres the lowdown. If any of you (apart from Sue, Exi and GF) had the answer you wouldn't be on here in the first place

So, post away, I ain't reading 'em, some of you are, some of you aren't. Take what you can from it. We have no loyalty to any "slimming" club here. What works for you works for you. They will all work if you walk the line

My take on this is that you are burning calories whilst furiously typing in defence of your chosen regime, so it's all good.

I have nothing to defend or run up the flagpole, I follow my instinct and take the rough with the smooth. I am my own experiment.

I admit I need help, when I need help and profess no expertise at anything except shooting your girly nonsense down once in a while. Lifes too short to "start again tomorrow" - why don't we just stick with the start we've already made?

I think we are all gonna get there, this thread makes you see the light and everyone posting makes it great

I am a bit virtuous about the booze, but I could still drink you all under the table. But I choose not to.

Keep it up, we can learn from each other

 

[Patchninja]

Hilarious and great thread! If Rod needs a break, I'm available to step in. By way of credentials, I'm a rugby coach and I love nothing better than to make nine-year-olds do press-ups in the mud! So telling a few fellow porkers to buck their ideas up wouldn't even register on my callous-o-meter....

You have yet to be kicked by someone here! Let's see how you shape up!

 

[conlou1]

todays weight victory...just fit into the small dress i bought 2 months ago and couldnt even zip up WOOP