Westiegirl: Restarted Day 1 Under my Belt!

[westiegirl]

Old and crinkly!! hahaha. I'm not one for chuckling out loud......usually little chuckle in my head, but did a proper one for this description!!

You don't look old and crinkly.....you don't look much older than me!!!

Don't think I like the sound of this chap Sarah, he seems a bit dodgy to me!! "satisfy" you......errr........think maybe he is over estimating his skills? unless your team don't score of course....then he's possibly right.

Thanks Nicole, I am quite a bit older than you (35 actually) but I don't act it, much to my shame sometimes.

Um, you actually made me chuckle out loud too with the comment about over estimating his skills! I hope my team do score though - lots of times *lol*.

 

[AmandaJayne]

Hia Sarah,

Loved your post about HABITS. They're deadly, as you've realised and I wonder why we find it so easy to get into BAD habits and so hard to keep GOOD habits. It just ain't fair!

I think you are giving yourself a real hard time, you must be exhausted with struggling to lose weight or stop gaining. I find your mindset to be familier as I have been the same in the past, and the constant feeling of failure really wore me down over time. Looking back over that period I see more objectively. I had, to some extent, lost my way and was blundering around blindfold desperately trying to find the key to succeeding. Because you see, I wanted to succeed with weight loss SO MUCH. WHY was I f***ng it up again and again and again.

It is a really good idea to focus on your habits. Write them down. What do you eat at certain times of the day. How do you feel before you eat, while you eat, after you eat. Try to take an objective view of what you are doing. It is a good start.

But most of all, please be kind to yourself, you wouldn't treat your best mate like you treat you!

I'm just getting packed to come down to Wrexham tomorrow (Tue) and will travel to Colwyn Bay on Wed, still hoping to see you on Thursday. I will call you on your mobile to arrange a venue/time.

 

[westiegirl]

Over with Mr Pirate? Not Really Sure!!

And am I bothered, nah!

Well Matt did text me back and his cheeky reply was you mean i've been coming up with fantasies and we can't act them out! lolol!

Replied that I actually wanted romance rather than fantasies, and that a hello and how are you might be nice rather than explicit texts (which believe me they were) and phone calls at 2am when he was drunk and horny! He replied how can i romance you when you refuse to meet me. I replied it was circumstances that have called off our last couple of dates and he because didn't reply to me all day sunday about our date I presumed that he wasn't interested.

He replied that he was sorry and was only joking and he thought that his texts would cheer me up a bit. I said a hello and some concern would cheer me up, not compliments about my breasts!!! I told him things were moving too fast and I needed to slow down.

His reply was "righty oh, message understood, sorry again!".

He hasn't contacted me since, so what does that mean????

Not sure, guess I'll play it by ear. Not sure whether to text him with our plans for tonight and just see whether he turns up or not. TBH I would rather spend the evening with my brother than with him, so I guess that says a lot doesn't it!

So should I text him or not?

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Blimey Sarah.... hmmmm... oh, first things first... I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ARE 35!!!!!!!!!!

omg!! LOL I thought you were only in your early 20's!! lolololol Doh!!!

Right - Matt... I think he does like you and you like him, but you aren't singing from the same hymn sheet at the moment.

I'd suggest you leave it a couple of days. Let him sleep on it and you too. Then text him with a chatty message about going out with your brother and saying how it would be nice if you could meet up over Easter sometime and suggest times and places. Say that you think he got the wrong end of the stick and that the best way to sort things out is to see one another and talk properly. That way, the ball's firmly back in his court. I think he misunderstood you and has copped the hump. lol Men do that. It's coz we speak a different language! Nothing lost if you send a text. You have maintained your dignity and stance so it's up to him. But, be sure that you can meet when you suggest as he is clearly miffed at the last couple of dates not happening.

As for the habits thing.. how's it going? I hadn't realised how many horrible food-related habits I had until I found myself automatically opening the fridge door each time I walked into the kitchen!! (there's loads more but will share those with you personally some time! lol).

Hope you have a lovely day today! Take care hon.xxxx

 

[Karen1972]

Hey Sarah chick.......... Hmmm that's a toughie, i know exactly where you are coming from though because sooooo many men are like that with texts and cheekiness!!! They have no idea do they? haha. I mean it's nice for a little while to be the object of someones fantasies but come on a girl definitely needs some romance too!! It's difficult to give advice on this one babe, only you know if it's worth continuing with him but i agree with jennie when she said that it's clear you both like each other but are just coming from different angles! Don't do anything rash babes.... Hope you have a great day today, love ya

 

[westiegirl]

Tuesday 3rd April 2007

Well today has been a day of habit analysis and I'm starting to find the habits are becoming more glaring because I am looking for them!

Woke up today and didn't have an idea whether I would SS at all, but started the day with my usual vanilla coffee pack and water.

On my way to work I stopped at the Spar to pick up my TV guide - they keep it to one side for me. Having stopped there I had to buy treats.

Habit number 1: If I go to the shop I have to buy some treats. Can't just buy a TV guide - have to get something else.

Work was ok, had quite a lot on but just got on with it.

Habit number 2: Mid morning = snack. Wasn't hungry - but had to have a packet of crisps and a chocolate bar *lol*.

Lunchtime came along and we got dinner from the chip shop but Heather and I only had cold rolls. Sadie asked if anyone was going to Spar as she needed fags and I was going to get some air so I volunteered. Again habit number 1, can't go to the shop without buying treats.

Came back to work and had my lunch and discovered habit number 3.

Habit number 3: Lunch is not complete without at least 3 parts, the main part (a sandwich/roll or the like), a savoury part (such as crisps) and it must be followed by something sweet (such as a mousse or chocolate).

Back to work and habit number 4 is the same as habit number 2.

Habit number 4: Mid afternoon = snack.

More crisps I'm afraid. How bad is that 3 packets today!!!! Bad, bad girl (but remember I'm only eating in the name of research ).

Home time and habit number 5 is the bane of my life and always has been.

Habit number 5: Hometime = binge. I have ALWAYS, repeat ALWAYS had a problem at this time of day. It has been an unbroken habit bourne of comfort since school days. So to be honest I have had this habit for almost 20 years, so I can't expect it to be gone overnight but at least I know I need to work on it. It usually consists of a loaf of bread and butter but today was a chocolate bar. Came home and thought that I might try and go "cold turkey" but as soon as I climbed the stairs to my flat I could feel the urge come over me. So I decided cold turkey was a bit extreme and decided to have the chocolate and that was it. So I've had it and I will not have anything else now until my tea. I'm going out for my tea with my brother, we are going to get something to eat whilst watching the footie.

So today has been quite a learning experience. Have learnt quite a few habitual eating times and know I just need to develop a strategy to counteract them. Um, answers on a postcard please!

Was about to write that I haven't heard from Matt all day, which is true but he has literally just texted me to ask how my day has been. See, that's nice isn't it! Didn't expect to hear from him at all, but that just goes to show doesn't it! Haven't texted him about the footie yet, but I'm not sure if I want to. Might just be happy to spend the time with my bro. Matt knows where I'll be so if he turns up that's up to him!

 

[tashy100]

Well today has been a day of habit analysis and I'm starting to find the habits are becoming more glaring because I am looking for them!

Woke up today and didn't have an idea whether I would SS at all, but started the day with my usual vanilla coffee pack and water.

On my way to work I stopped at the Spar to pick up my TV guide - they keep it to one side for me. Having stopped there I had to buy treats.

Habit number 1: If I go to the shop I have to buy some treats. Can't just buy a TV guide - have to get something else.

Work was ok, had quite a lot on but just got on with it.

Habit number 2: Mid morning = snack. Wasn't hungry - but had to have a packet of crisps and a chocolate bar *lol*.

Lunchtime came along and we got dinner from the chip shop but Heather and I only had cold rolls. Sadie asked if anyone was going to Spar as she needed fags and I was going to get some air so I volunteered. Again habit number 1, can't go to the shop without buying treats.

Came back to work and had my lunch and discovered habit number 3.

Habit number 3: Lunch is not complete without at least 3 parts, the main part (a sandwich/roll or the like), a savoury part (such as crisps) and it must be followed by something sweet (such as a mousse or chocolate).

Back to work and habit number 4 is the same as habit number 2.

Habit number 4: Mid afternoon = snack.

More crisps I'm afraid. How bad is that 3 packets today!!!! Bad, bad girl (but remember I'm only eating in the name of research ).

Home time and habit number 5 is the bane of my life and always has been.

Habit number 5: Hometime = binge. I have ALWAYS, repeat ALWAYS had a problem at this time of day. It has been an unbroken habit bourne of comfort since school days. So to be honest I have had this habit for almost 20 years, so I can't expect it to be gone overnight but at least I know I need to work on it. It usually consists of a loaf of bread and butter but today was a chocolate bar. Came home and thought that I might try and go "cold turkey" but as soon as I climbed the stairs to my flat I could feel the urge come over me. So I decided cold turkey was a bit extreme and decided to have the chocolate and that was it. So I've had it and I will not have anything else now until my tea. I'm going out for my tea with my brother, we are going to get something to eat whilst watching the footie.

So today has been quite a learning experience. Have learnt quite a few habitual eating times and know I just need to develop a strategy to counteract them. Um, answers on a postcard please!

Was about to write that I haven't heard from Matt all day, which is true but he has literally just texted me to ask how my day has been. See, that's nice isn't it! Didn't expect to hear from him at all, but that just goes to show doesn't it! Haven't texted him about the footie yet, but I'm not sure if I want to. Might just be happy to spend the time with my bro. Matt knows where I'll be so if he turns up that's up to him!

You sound so much like me!!!! A petrol stop = chocolate, weekly shopping = cream cake, Sunday night = toast & marmite.

And especially the getting home after work = binge. Also - it wasnt until I read your post that I realised that I used to do that at school too. I was very unhappy at secondary school and I would come home and eat loads of crisps and chocolate holed up in my bedroom getting myself lost in a book.

Wierd - I always thought my bad eating habits started as an adult - WRONG.

Sorry for typing this on your thread - but thankyou for making me think about this.

Oh - and well done on your wonderful weight loss.

Oh - and the bloke - stay remote and mysterious - works every time!!!!

Tasha (also 35)

 

[lavender]

Hi Sarah,

yep, right there with you on the Habit thing. I have loads
1. when making anything at all for anyone else I always need to taste it!???
2. TV , always means something to eat?!!
3. coffee always needs a snack to go with it!!

and many more that I shall try to catalogue, I am going to look out for them tomorrow.

the only thing I can think of to maybe combat your arrival home "binge" is to leave a "healthy" snack/meal ready to have the moment you get through the door!! a bit like leaving something out for santa!!!

 

[cazmaz_irl]

Hi Sarah,

Sorry to bust in on all the enjoyable habits in the name of research, but last time I looked on your thread you were happily wearing your old socks of first day back on LL...

What's happening here??????:cry:

 

[pandora]

glad you have identified your habits, thats the first step in the right direction to overcoming them.
hope you have had a good evening out with your brother.
xx

 

[westiegirl]

You sound so much like me!!!! A petrol stop = chocolate, weekly shopping = cream cake, Sunday night = toast & marmite.

And especially the getting home after work = binge. Also - it wasnt until I read your post that I realised that I used to do that at school too. I was very unhappy at secondary school and I would come home and eat loads of crisps and chocolate holed up in my bedroom getting myself lost in a book.

Wierd - I always thought my bad eating habits started as an adult - WRONG.

Sorry for typing this on your thread - but thankyou for making me think about this.

Oh - and well done on your wonderful weight loss.

Oh - and the bloke - stay remote and mysterious - works every time!!!!

Tasha (also 35)

Hi Tasha

Thanks for dropping by. It's funny that in the last day or so that I've actually realised that there is no point trying to justify things just to make me feel good, for me it is all down to habit. Others may disagree with me but eating as an emotional response is what I've learnt. It's my habit and I have to break it! I welcome your comments on my thread if I've made you think, and I hope you drop by again soon.

 

[westiegirl]

Hi Sarah,

yep, right there with you on the Habit thing. I have loads
1. when making anything at all for anyone else I always need to taste it!???
2. TV , always means something to eat?!!
3. coffee always needs a snack to go with it!!

and many more that I shall try to catalogue, I am going to look out for them tomorrow.

the only thing I can think of to maybe combat your arrival home "binge" is to leave a "healthy" snack/meal ready to have the moment you get through the door!! a bit like leaving something out for santa!!!

Hi Heidi, yep habits 1, 2 & 3 all apply to me. I have been doing some learning tonight! Will write about that later, but it's quite scary looking at eating in habit terms. Almost wish I hadn't but glad that I have!

Hopefully Santa will have a healthy snack tomorrow lol!

 

[westiegirl]

Hi Sarah,

Sorry to bust in on all the enjoyable habits in the name of research, but last time I looked on your thread you were happily wearing your old socks of first day back on LL...

What's happening here??????:cry:

Hi Caz, hormones is what happened! Still well in the grips of TOTM and not quite got the strength to fight it lol! Taking a new stance but still doing the research! Will be checking out your thread to see how your weekend went, can't wait to catch up!

 

[westiegirl]

glad you have identified your habits, thats the first step in the right direction to overcoming them.
hope you have had a good evening out with your brother.
xx

Hi Cheryl, funny how clear it becomes when looking out for these things! My, what bad habits I have and what work I have to do to overcome them, but I don't feel overwhelmed at the moment like I have done in the past.

Had a great night with my brother but will write about that later! Hope you are ok and will catch up soon, I promise!

 

[KD]

It's funny that in the last day or so that I've actually realised that there is no point trying to justify things just to make me feel good, for me it is all down to habit. Others may disagree with me but eating as an emotional response is what I've learnt.

Oooh, I'm so pleased I found your diary!!!

Yes...habits, habits, habits. That's what it was all about for. Spent ages analysing why I ate, then realised it was just out of habit most of the time.

Even any 'emotional' eating...was just a habit.

I thought I was the only person who thought this here

 

[westiegirl]

Oooh, I'm so pleased I found your diary!!!

Yes...habits, habits, habits. That's what it was all about for. Spent ages analysing why I ate, then realised it was just out of habit most of the time.

Even any 'emotional' eating...was just a habit.

I thought I was the only person who thought this here

Thanks Karion, it is so easy to get caught up in the negative impact of "emotional eating" that you lose focus on what is really going on. I truly believe for me it is down to habit too. I could have easily developed any other bad habit to make me feel better as an emotional response, I just chose food (possibly for many of us, like me, it was because that was only easily accessible "drug" at the time). But I know even bad habits once served a purpose in our lives to protect us but once they have taken hold it's much more difficult to stop them, even if they do more harm than good.

 

[Gen]

Hiya Sarah... just catching up on your thread and me thinks you are making very good progress and are really getting 'there'... wherever there is... ha ha

it really is about seeing what you are doing to stop progress and then changing it or at least trying to change it and it will change eventually.

have to say ur last few posts are by far the most positive and pro-active stuff i have read on your diary in a long time.... that is absolutely fantastic for you... and i really hope it works out for you...

lots of love as always...

 

[KD]

Thanks Karion, it is so easy to get caught up in the negative impact of "emotional eating" that you lose focus on what is really going on. I truly believe for me it is down to habit too. I could have easily developed any other bad habit to make me feel better as an emotional response, I just chose food (possibly for many of us, like me, it was because that was only easily accessible "drug" at the time). But I know even bad habits once served a purpose in our lives to protect us but once they have taken hold it's much more difficult to stop them, even if they do more harm than good.

Oh yes! I'm been mentioning habits in a few messages, but they all ignore me

It was a real lightbulb moment for me and it made the picture much clearer.

It just gave me one thing to deal with....my habit. So many things set off this chain reaction. TV = food, boredom=food, stress= food etc.

I was looking at it all the wrong way. I was trying to deal with each problem separately. When I realised that each time I overate, I was just feeding that addiction, I really turned a corner.

Now when these things happen, I don't even think about eating. It doesn't really occur to me. I've broken that chain in my brain Myyyy, it's taken me time, but then this lightbulb moment was late arriving.

After a while of working at this, it just suddenly occured to me that I might have cracked it. Not only that, but I had cracked it a while ago...but because I wasn't thinking about food, I hadn't even noticed.

Best of luck to you. Hope you have the success with this that I'm having at the moment....and hopefully forever.

 

[westiegirl]

Hiya Sarah... just catching up on your thread and me thinks you are making very good progress and are really getting 'there'... wherever there is... ha ha

it really is about seeing what you are doing to stop progress and then changing it or at least trying to change it and it will change eventually.

have to say ur last few posts are by far the most positive and pro-active stuff i have read on your diary in a long time.... that is absolutely fantastic for you... and i really hope it works out for you...

lots of love as always...

Thanks Gen,

Glad my posts sound more positive I hate being the only person at my pity party lol.

Lots of thinking has gone on over the last couple of days which I guess is a start to making the changes. I can't change things if I don't know what I am meant to be changing!

Hope you are doing ok, haven't seen your diary for a few days. Sending you lots of love and many hugs!

 

[westiegirl]

Oh yes! I'm been mentioning habits in a few messages, but they all ignore me

It was a real lightbulb moment for me and it made the picture much clearer.

It just gave me one thing to deal with....my habit. So many things set off this chain reaction. TV = food, boredom=food, stress= food etc.

I was looking at it all the wrong way. I was trying to deal with each problem separately. When I realised that each time I overate, I was just feeding that addiction, I really turned a corner.

Now when these things happen, I don't even think about eating. It doesn't really occur to me. I've broken that chain in my brain Myyyy, it's taken me time, but then this lightbulb moment was late arriving.

After a while of working at this, it just suddenly occured to me that I might have cracked it. Not only that, but I had cracked it a while ago...but because I wasn't thinking about food, I hadn't even noticed.

Best of luck to you. Hope you have the success with this that I'm having at the moment....and hopefully forever.

Karion, thank you sooooo much! I love this post because it gives me something that I have been lacking a lot of recently - hope. As I said to Gen I have been having my own little pity party and this hasn't been much fun. I know I've been a pain to be around and I really don't want to be like that at all.

I feel positive that eventually I might be able to resolve my issues. I especially like the comment you made about only having to focus on solving one thing and not a whole bunch of things. That makes things seem so much more achievable. I'm not expecting it to be easy but at least it's a way forward!