Westiegirl: Restarted Day 1 Under my Belt!
- Thread starter westiegirl
- Start date
Karen1972
Gold Member
What an absolutely FANTASTIC post - you should print it out and keep a copy with you always - it's sounds like you got it all girlfriend!!!! I love it!! And did feel slightly envious of it to be honest LOL.... Try not to worry about the docs, worrying won't make things better or change anything... i'm sure it'll all work out ok... Re the eating, you gotta stop doing that babes!!! It's not worth it. This stone and a half i've lost in the last 6 weeks or so has made me feel like a completely different (and better) person..... So come on chicken, you could be at goal by Dublin!!!!!!
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Hiya hon
Was ace nattering to you last night
Can't wait for May!! hee hee hee
LOVED reading your post!! It's brilliant and I admit to being a tad envious too.. lol You're a belting girl and life has so much more in store for ya!
Here's raising a glass of the clear stuff to a better and brighter day for you! xxxxxxxx (and STOP noshing!) - listen to Karen!
Was ace nattering to you last night
Can't wait for May!! hee hee heeLOVED reading your post!! It's brilliant and I admit to being a tad envious too..
lol You're a belting girl and life has so much more in store for ya! Here's raising a glass of the clear stuff to a better and brighter day for you! xxxxxxxx (and STOP noshing!) - listen to Karen!
westiegirl
Gold Member
Hiya hon
Was ace nattering to you last night
LOVED reading your post!! It's brilliant and I admit to being a tad envious too..
Here's raising a glass of the clear stuff to a better and brighter day for you! xxxxxxxx (and STOP noshing!) - listen to Karen!
I woke up this morning and felt a bit down but was boosted by both your lovely messages and felt on top of the world.
Today has been a total struggle all day. At lunchtime everyone had lovely sandwiches from the chippy and I was so envious. I decided that I would go for a walk to get some air but my real intention was to get something to eat from the shop. Walking along the road, both your posts popped into my head and our lovely chat as well, Jennie. That's when I decided that I wouldn't have anything. So I walked to the shop, bought some milk for work and walked back. Felt so proud of myelf and was one happy bunny!
Then it all started to slide late afternoon, had a biscuit and a packet of crisps. That was it, I was a downward slope. Stopped in the shop and have bought a load of "treats". Not going to list what I have eaten but it is more than I should have. In fact anything is more than I should have.
I'm so disappointed in myself. I feel so helpless again. Entering PMS time and I can feel it so badly! At this moment in time I really don't care if I SS, or if I'm fat or thin. I don't care about much at all at the moment! This feeling of desperation has struck again and I know it will pass but at the moment I just can't see past it.
I'm also bawling my eyes out because I'm watching the season finale of Greys Anatomy. I so love this programme and it just makes me feel so happy and so sad all at once. Maybe a good cry is what I need!
I feel really stupid because I'm having another pity party. I've even blown off LL tonight. Feel bad because I should just be starting my meeting but I've not gone! That means that I won't have enough packs and at this moment I don't even care!
I was also meant to be meeting Matt tonight but because I said that I had a meeting he's gone to play football. Darn, thought I would be able to see him but it's my own fault. I won't be able to see him until Sunday now!
Right gonna crawl into a corner and stop making you listen to me moan!
Big deep breath sarah!!!!
Things are never as bad as they seem, your getting out the car , shooting the tyres and blowing it up!!!
You don't have to do that, put today behind you and move on, yes you have eaten some hi cal foods today and no, you didn't want to but it's done now amd you and I both know that the beating up does nothing to stop it happening again so why bother!!!
if I had written that post what would you be saying to me???
quite alot different to what your saying to yourself I bet, so STOP and BE KIND TO YOU!!!
Tomorrow is another day, dont make any rash promises to yourself except one and that is to be the BEST that YOU can BE and that is all you can ask of anyone, take the pressure off, you can do it and you will , in whatever way suits you best, for me ,right now SS isn't possible , I haven't caught the wave but you decide whats right for you and whatever you do, BE KIND TO YOU.
Big big hugs and chin up and move on, we can do it!!!
Love heidi xxx
Things are never as bad as they seem, your getting out the car , shooting the tyres and blowing it up!!!
You don't have to do that, put today behind you and move on, yes you have eaten some hi cal foods today and no, you didn't want to but it's done now amd you and I both know that the beating up does nothing to stop it happening again so why bother!!!
if I had written that post what would you be saying to me???
quite alot different to what your saying to yourself I bet, so STOP and BE KIND TO YOU!!!
Tomorrow is another day, dont make any rash promises to yourself except one and that is to be the BEST that YOU can BE and that is all you can ask of anyone, take the pressure off, you can do it and you will , in whatever way suits you best, for me ,right now SS isn't possible , I haven't caught the wave but you decide whats right for you and whatever you do, BE KIND TO YOU.
Big big hugs and chin up and move on, we can do it!!!
Love heidi xxx
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
oh sweetheart!!! and there's me blethering on the phone oblivious!!! sorry look, don't worry about what's done, it's done.. right? Just chalk it up to a crappy week and move on. It'll all look better after a good nights sleep - so - no late night phone calls this evening You'll be fine, it's a glich, nowt more.. ok??
look, don't worry about what's done, it's done.. right? Just chalk it up to a crappy week and move on. It'll all look better after a good nights sleep - so - no late night phone calls this evening You'll be fine, it's a glich, nowt more.. ok??
Summerskye
Gold Member
I just wanted to send you lots of love darling. I have no great words of wisdom (I wish!), but just wanted to let you know that you're loved and remind you how important you are to lots of people - me included!
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Isobel1965
Gold Member
OH Sarah - I've just caught up on your posts over the last couple of days and it just strikes me how up and down your emotions are. I think your hormones are all over the place now, sloshing around making you feel fine one minute and absolutely rubbish the next!
I'm so sorry that you've got this roller-coaster going on and if I were you, I would deffo take your parents up on the offer to go private for the test - just to get the pesky thing out of the way, so it's one less thing to worry about!
I don't know if you're on happy pills, darling - I just know that they've helped me to cope twice and I highly recommend them!
Chin up, buttercup - the diet isn't the most important thing right now. Your happiness is!
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I'm so sorry that you've got this roller-coaster going on and if I were you, I would deffo take your parents up on the offer to go private for the test - just to get the pesky thing out of the way, so it's one less thing to worry about!
I don't know if you're on happy pills, darling - I just know that they've helped me to cope twice and I highly recommend them!
Chin up, buttercup - the diet isn't the most important thing right now. Your happiness is!
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pandora
finding my way again !
hi hun,
hope today is a better day for you emotionally, like Isobel said, maybe its more important to get all the emotional/hormonal issues sorted first b4 worrying about the diet.
try focussing on the possitive thing in your life when you feel low
as allways luv n hugs
xx
hope today is a better day for you emotionally, like Isobel said, maybe its more important to get all the emotional/hormonal issues sorted first b4 worrying about the diet.
try focussing on the possitive thing in your life when you feel low
as allways luv n hugs
xx
westiegirl
Gold Member
Thanks Isobel and Cheryl, it actually quite frightens me how much my emotions are up and down at the moment.
Yes I am on happy pills, in fact dosage has just been increased which worries me a little as I feel a little spaced out and I seem to have lost some *ahem* sensitivity in other areas!
Looking back over my thread last night I saw that exactly 4 weeks ago it was the weekend of the wedding in Edinburgh and one of my posts was "Head Going Into Meltdown". Um, the pattern definately emerges when you document it!
Think I will take up my Mum and Dad's offer because I can't stand feeling like this every 4 weeks.
Right must dash, about to start work. Will write more later.
Yes I am on happy pills, in fact dosage has just been increased which worries me a little as I feel a little spaced out and I seem to have lost some *ahem* sensitivity in other areas!
Looking back over my thread last night I saw that exactly 4 weeks ago it was the weekend of the wedding in Edinburgh and one of my posts was "Head Going Into Meltdown". Um, the pattern definately emerges when you document it!
Think I will take up my Mum and Dad's offer because I can't stand feeling like this every 4 weeks.
Right must dash, about to start work. Will write more later.
hello darling... i haven't been really around much the last few days and just read ur posts...
i'm so sorry you are feeling so bad but i do think you have defo identified one of the reasons... blasted hormones....
i have no words of wisdom for you hun but i do hope you are ok and are having a good night tonight!!
I have broadband at home now so there is no getting away from me
love
i'm so sorry you are feeling so bad but i do think you have defo identified one of the reasons... blasted hormones....
i have no words of wisdom for you hun but i do hope you are ok and are having a good night tonight!!
I have broadband at home now so there is no getting away from me
love
westiegirl
Gold Member
Thanks Gen, so glad you're gonna be around more. I actually did do an out loud "hurrah" when I read that you've got broadband. I did a mini mexican wave too but that won't make sense until my post about the day.
Catch up with ya soon. Hurrah, very soon!
Catch up with ya soon. Hurrah, very soon!
westiegirl
Gold Member
Friday 30th March - Head Still Not Totally Right
Felt a bit better this morning because I had a bit of a longer sleep last night, had an earlyish night for a change. Spoke to Matt earlier in the evening and agreed that texting or chatting late at night was making us both tired so we agreed to not too and to get some sleep.
Had a really great day at work. It's month end and we're usually all running around like headless chickens invoicing like mad to maximise the monthly sales figure. We had already beaten target by yesterday and with some hard work today we smashed it! Sadie, our operations manager was so chuffed she emailed a thank you to us all and copied in the group managing director who emailed us back a thank you too. She also asked if as a thank you did we all want our cars washed. We've got proper jet washers in the yard so we all handed over our keys and one of the lads washed our cars.
Everyone was in a good mood and we were all mexican waving in the office every time someone completed a job or increased the sales figure. We then had a "full fajita" mexican wave with all 6 of us. Sounds very sad but we were just having a great laugh. Felt like I've made the right decision to stay. We all worked hard Sadie was really chuffed that we've got such a good team. The sales target that was set has never been achieved by the company at all in any month so she was absolutely thrilled!
I just have to phone M & S and tell them that I can't take up their offer. The offer is good in terms of hours, location etc but only 1 Saturday off in 4, crap pay and only 20 days holiday. I couldn't work Saturdays now - I have so many weekends away planned!
When I woke up this morning I had a sore throat and a headache (which hasn't actually cleared all day) and hoped I wasn't coming down with something. I guess I'll know by tomorrow. Started the day knowing that I was going to eat but the binging hasn't been so intense today. Just had a couple bits of toast for breakfast, did have chips for lunch and had a number of chocolates throughout the day. Came home and did have my usual "bread binge". That is something that I have always had in the past and it is my danger time (and a habit I need to break). Recently I haven't bought bread so no bread binges at that time - but have been eating other things then instead. Today I only had 5 slices instead of my usual 3/4 loaf. TBH I wasn't that bothered - does this mean I'm passing that time? Gosh, I hope so! Did go to my mum and dad's about 8.30pm and they were just serving tea. They were having Shepherds Pie and I had a little portion but didn't eat it because it was "real" shepherds pie with lamb rather than beef and I HATE lamb! That was lucky eh! Have had a glass of wine though and it might just put me to sleep shortly (hopefully).
I volunteered to fetch the order from the chip shop at luchtime because I needed to use the phone to call my LLC. I told her that I was really tired after a late finish yesterday at month end and didn't make it last night. She asked if I was struggling and I said, yes very much so. So we had a little chat and she was great. I was totally honest with her in terms of how hard I was finding it and that I decided when I phoned her that I wasn't going to lie to her and make excuses because I was only making excuses to myself. After all it doesn't matter to her whether I do this or not. I told her that I want this so much that failure is not an option. She offered for me to come and be weighed tomorrow but I've got the hairdresser at noon so I said I would come on Thursday. I have enough packs to last until then so I should be ok. I told her that I will definately be there next week. I made a promise, but I made a promise to myself and that's the most important person for me to make a promise to, afterall. I haven't actually acknowledged to myself that driving there yesterday was also a factor in my not going but it's true. I was so freaked out last week that I think I was avoiding the "pain" of driving home (driving there is ok because it's in the light). But hey, what they say is "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway". Definately going to go this week. My LLC sounds like another gem, I guess I've been a lucky girl. I guess I just need to trust her and get on with it!
One thing that has stuck in my head at the moment is Karen1972's recent post about the stone and a half she has lost in 6 weeks. I have decided to aim for 6 weeks (although 4x4 weekend is still in the middle of it all). 6 weeks will almost take me to a lovely weekend away I have planned with some lovely friends at someone's house. Would really like to arrive there full of joy because I've stuck to my plan. I know these lovely friends won't judge or chastise me if I don't succeed, but the weekend away is just a target for me to aim for.
So the plan is to start again tomorrow (Saturday). I have never started on a Saturday before because I always struggle at weekends. But I have quite a busy day tomorrow - hairdressers for a colour and then shopping (replacing some of my stolen things). My thinking is that by Tuesday I will be in ketosis which is my aim because everyone in work usually goes to the chippy that day and when I'm on day 2 that's really hard.
Well this was only going to be a short post but as usual I've waffled. Beddy-byes time. Hurrah for a lie-in tomorrow! I love the weekend!
Felt a bit better this morning because I had a bit of a longer sleep last night, had an earlyish night for a change. Spoke to Matt earlier in the evening and agreed that texting or chatting late at night was making us both tired so we agreed to not too and to get some sleep.
Had a really great day at work. It's month end and we're usually all running around like headless chickens invoicing like mad to maximise the monthly sales figure. We had already beaten target by yesterday and with some hard work today we smashed it! Sadie, our operations manager was so chuffed she emailed a thank you to us all and copied in the group managing director who emailed us back a thank you too. She also asked if as a thank you did we all want our cars washed. We've got proper jet washers in the yard so we all handed over our keys and one of the lads washed our cars.
Everyone was in a good mood and we were all mexican waving in the office every time someone completed a job or increased the sales figure. We then had a "full fajita" mexican wave with all 6 of us. Sounds very sad but we were just having a great laugh. Felt like I've made the right decision to stay. We all worked hard Sadie was really chuffed that we've got such a good team. The sales target that was set has never been achieved by the company at all in any month so she was absolutely thrilled!
I just have to phone M & S and tell them that I can't take up their offer. The offer is good in terms of hours, location etc but only 1 Saturday off in 4, crap pay and only 20 days holiday. I couldn't work Saturdays now - I have so many weekends away planned!
When I woke up this morning I had a sore throat and a headache (which hasn't actually cleared all day) and hoped I wasn't coming down with something. I guess I'll know by tomorrow. Started the day knowing that I was going to eat but the binging hasn't been so intense today. Just had a couple bits of toast for breakfast, did have chips for lunch and had a number of chocolates throughout the day. Came home and did have my usual "bread binge". That is something that I have always had in the past and it is my danger time (and a habit I need to break). Recently I haven't bought bread so no bread binges at that time - but have been eating other things then instead. Today I only had 5 slices instead of my usual 3/4 loaf. TBH I wasn't that bothered - does this mean I'm passing that time? Gosh, I hope so! Did go to my mum and dad's about 8.30pm and they were just serving tea. They were having Shepherds Pie and I had a little portion but didn't eat it because it was "real" shepherds pie with lamb rather than beef and I HATE lamb! That was lucky eh! Have had a glass of wine though and it might just put me to sleep shortly (hopefully).
I volunteered to fetch the order from the chip shop at luchtime because I needed to use the phone to call my LLC. I told her that I was really tired after a late finish yesterday at month end and didn't make it last night. She asked if I was struggling and I said, yes very much so. So we had a little chat and she was great. I was totally honest with her in terms of how hard I was finding it and that I decided when I phoned her that I wasn't going to lie to her and make excuses because I was only making excuses to myself. After all it doesn't matter to her whether I do this or not. I told her that I want this so much that failure is not an option. She offered for me to come and be weighed tomorrow but I've got the hairdresser at noon so I said I would come on Thursday. I have enough packs to last until then so I should be ok. I told her that I will definately be there next week. I made a promise, but I made a promise to myself and that's the most important person for me to make a promise to, afterall. I haven't actually acknowledged to myself that driving there yesterday was also a factor in my not going but it's true. I was so freaked out last week that I think I was avoiding the "pain" of driving home (driving there is ok because it's in the light). But hey, what they say is "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway". Definately going to go this week. My LLC sounds like another gem, I guess I've been a lucky girl. I guess I just need to trust her and get on with it!
One thing that has stuck in my head at the moment is Karen1972's recent post about the stone and a half she has lost in 6 weeks. I have decided to aim for 6 weeks (although 4x4 weekend is still in the middle of it all). 6 weeks will almost take me to a lovely weekend away I have planned with some lovely friends at someone's house
. Would really like to arrive there full of joy because I've stuck to my plan. I know these lovely friends won't judge or chastise me if I don't succeed, but the weekend away is just a target for me to aim for. So the plan is to start again tomorrow (Saturday). I have never started on a Saturday before because I always struggle at weekends. But I have quite a busy day tomorrow - hairdressers for a colour and then shopping (replacing some of my stolen things). My thinking is that by Tuesday I will be in ketosis which is my aim because everyone in work usually goes to the chippy that day and when I'm on day 2 that's really hard.
Well this was only going to be a short post but as usual I've waffled. Beddy-byes time. Hurrah for a lie-in tomorrow! I love the weekend!
ah thanks chick... i'm loving this online at home craic!!!!
chat to ya soon... just off to read ur lastest post!!!
love
westiegirl
Gold Member
Saturday 31st March - Quiet Weekend
Just a quick one because it's so early and there is not a lot to add from last night.
Just wanted to write down that I felt alright about SSing when I woke up this morning. I woke up at my usual weekday time of 6.30am and just lay in my bed in the half light with the birds singing outside. Realised that this is the best time of the week - early Saturday morning, no need to rush out of bed and feeling content with the promise of a full weekend ahead. Ahhh, I just feel so good at the moment, another bottle it moment!
Just a quick one because it's so early and there is not a lot to add from last night.
Just wanted to write down that I felt alright about SSing when I woke up this morning. I woke up at my usual weekday time of 6.30am and just lay in my bed in the half light with the birds singing outside. Realised that this is the best time of the week - early Saturday morning, no need to rush out of bed and feeling content with the promise of a full weekend ahead. Ahhh, I just feel so good at the moment, another bottle it moment!
pandora
finding my way again !
Hi hun,
how's it gone today ?
you know me & many others here will allways be supporting you & it doesn't matter whether you are succeeding or slipping that you are still a wonderful, caring & essentially strong woman. You have pinpointed you trigger times (of the month) so know when & what to watch out for. I really hope you can get a second opinion about your blood tests & get something possitive sorted.
as allways :hug99: & +ve :vibes:
xx
how's it gone today ?
you know me & many others here will allways be supporting you & it doesn't matter whether you are succeeding or slipping that you are still a wonderful, caring & essentially strong woman. You have pinpointed you trigger times (of the month) so know when & what to watch out for. I really hope you can get a second opinion about your blood tests & get something possitive sorted.
as allways :hug99: & +ve :vibes:
xx
