The Caretaker
Silver Member
Well HW, your an inspiration
I would love to have MAINTAINER under my Forum name Well done. 
Whats the most hurtful thing anyone has said regarding your weight?
- Thread starter The Caretaker
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I would love to have MAINTAINER under my Forum name Well done. 
donna88
Gold Member
I'm shocked at what some of you have been through, I knew people could be cruel but it's disgusting what some people have said and done to some of you It's actually quite depressing reading some of your stories... at least we're all doing something about it and most of you have gotten over it and proven that your the better people. Those that haven't got over the horrible comments yet, I wish you all the best for the future, no matter what size we are, we're better then the horrible pieces of scum who feel they can say what they like based on how someone looks.
Sorry you've been through these things, I'm shocked that you got the comments when you were larger but really can't believe it now, you look lovely in your photo
It's actually quite depressing reading some of your stories... at least we're all doing something about it and most of you have gotten over it and proven that your the better people. Those that haven't got over the horrible comments yet, I wish you all the best for the future, no matter what size we are, we're better then the horrible pieces of scum who feel they can say what they like based on how someone looks.i've had loads
one that sticks in my mind....nearly 6 years ago- at my nan's funeral....the wake afterwards, i was with my younger brother- he needed me as support so i was there with him all day. we were sitting in the back room, where the food was. i cant remember whether i was eating or not- i'm pretty sure i wasn't. My auntie's husband walked in and said "*****, save some food for us Tanya" and shooting me a snotty look.
Niall (my bro) was eating- I wasn't.....I walked out, fuming.
I've had guys in a gym make fun of me- I lost about 2 1/2 stone and I was using a free gym pass i got from the NHS- a group of guys looked at me and a friend as we were leaving and one said "fat people should be shot"
another time- I lost about 4 stone, I was still about 18 1/2 stone- a gang of lads were hanging around on a street corner, one threw a burger at my face and said "eat that you fat pig you must be hungry". I was carrying a carrier bag of fruit after getting slimmer of the week for the 4th week running.....i still felt horrendous....
There are many like that- the final straw for me to lose weight was I was in uni- and I had to sit at the front because of my poor eyesight. the entrance of the room is at the back so i went in, wandered to the front (i was struggling to walk at this point) and some students at the back of the room started making "oinking" noises, jeering and calling me names....I left and just wept on the bus- that was my rock bottom
being 23 stone, i got a lot of schtick......funnily enough at 12 stone i still get it- i'm tall, and people can't differentiate between "tall and average weight" and "fat"....but that's because they're dim
Sorry you've been through these things, I'm shocked that you got the comments when you were larger but really can't believe it now, you look lovely in your photo
wow reading through all of these comments has really opened my eyes as to how horrible people can be.
I have been over weight for as long as I can remember but I am very lucky that I have never been called names for it, if I have I don't know about it!
I have always had great groups of friends and when I am out I am always as confident as them (on the outside) even though inside I am trembling and just want to run back home.
The most hurtful thing that has ever been said to me... which to be fair wasn't meant to hurt me... came from my 5 year old daughter! She said to me... Mum your bums getting a bit big! I told her that she shouldn't say things like that to people because it hurts their feelings. Her reply was... yeah but I'm not telling a lie so I can't be in trouble! It makes me laugh now as children basically say what they see, I am now 15lbs down and hoping my bum gets smaller soon! xx
I have been over weight for as long as I can remember but I am very lucky that I have never been called names for it, if I have I don't know about it!
I have always had great groups of friends and when I am out I am always as confident as them (on the outside) even though inside I am trembling and just want to run back home.
The most hurtful thing that has ever been said to me... which to be fair wasn't meant to hurt me... came from my 5 year old daughter! She said to me... Mum your bums getting a bit big! I told her that she shouldn't say things like that to people because it hurts their feelings. Her reply was... yeah but I'm not telling a lie so I can't be in trouble! It makes me laugh now as children basically say what they see, I am now 15lbs down and hoping my bum gets smaller soon! xx
Franalamadingdong
Gold Member
Bless nettie. Kids are funny. My son Nate (almost 2yrs) is often found pulling at my top, looking inside it (while I'm wearing it) and declaring "GONE!" I'm hoping it is a general comment on my reducing in size and not just my boobs.
nicnocks
Full Member
well i've had a couple of comments that have upset me a bit. Was in a changing room and a woman just out of the blue said 'i used to be as fat as you, i used to be a size 24' (im a 22).
Then my so called best friend (has always been slim etc, stole my boyfriend when we were young etc, you know the type), well we hadn't seen each other for a few years and then she came to work in the place where i worked. I was sitting at the computer and she said (with a look of total horror and disgust on her face), 'oh don't sit like that you look really fat sitting like that' At that point i was only a size 16, now i'd kill to be back to that size. She was one of those friends who are very honest, 'im your friend so im being honest with you' , as if its a good thing.
Then i was at a family gathering over new year and my gran and aunt had done the buffet, they had nowhere nearly enough stuff out for everyone, and they were in the kitchen all night tidying etc so everyone was getting tucked into what there was of a buffet, i was sorting out the plates for my 2 kids, one is type 1 diabetic so had to make sure he had enough carbs etc and my other was 4 so didn't want her touching everything, then i took my own plate and put one mini steak pie and two tiny wee sausages. My uncle then shouted to my gran and his wife in the kitchen, you better get through here or there will be nothing left, everyone is eating it all. THen my auntie came through put lots of stuff on a plate and took it through.
Then my so called best friend (has always been slim etc, stole my boyfriend when we were young etc, you know the type), well we hadn't seen each other for a few years and then she came to work in the place where i worked. I was sitting at the computer and she said (with a look of total horror and disgust on her face), 'oh don't sit like that you look really fat sitting like that' At that point i was only a size 16, now i'd kill to be back to that size. She was one of those friends who are very honest, 'im your friend so im being honest with you' , as if its a good thing.
Then i was at a family gathering over new year and my gran and aunt had done the buffet, they had nowhere nearly enough stuff out for everyone, and they were in the kitchen all night tidying etc so everyone was getting tucked into what there was of a buffet, i was sorting out the plates for my 2 kids, one is type 1 diabetic so had to make sure he had enough carbs etc and my other was 4 so didn't want her touching everything, then i took my own plate and put one mini steak pie and two tiny wee sausages. My uncle then shouted to my gran and his wife in the kitchen, you better get through here or there will be nothing left, everyone is eating it all. THen my auntie came through put lots of stuff on a plate and took it through.
I have to say that I am also shocked at the abuse some people have endured not only from strangers but sometimes also from their own families I would like to think that some of the people of made those nasty comments will one day look back at their behaviour with sadness and regret. I hope those who have suffered can heal and recover their self esteem xx
I would like to think that some of the people of made those nasty comments will one day look back at their behaviour with sadness and regret. I hope those who have suffered can heal and recover their self esteem xx
Gallifreya
Full Member
I could write a whole essay on this topic!
I shall be 65 this year and have been overweight all my life, since my childhood, so I have probably suffered almost every taunt known about my weight over the years. However, I think that in today's world, overweight people are now being actively bullied as a group by society. Since there are now a lot more of us and lots more people are finding it harder to control their weight in today's world of plenty, of convenience foods, fast-food, TV advertising and the modern concept of 'snacking' (I grew up when food was on ration and 'snacks' were unheard of, but I still managed to be overweight!) many people are now afraid that they too will become fat, and it scares them, because being fat is the antithesis of the modern image of beauty, i.e. a 'size zero', so they strike out hardest at what they fear the most.
The media has also whipped up a complete frenzy about the 'drain' the overweight are putting on society, how we are all bringing the NHS to its knees simply by eating more than our 'fair share'! In many people's eyes this has given them a licence to say exactly what they like about the overweight, and there will be no comeback on them for what they say. You only have to read the Daily Mail website and see the awful comments about overweight people which always accompany any obesity-related article published there and believe me there is at least ONE on that site every day. It is all too easy for the 'keyboard warriors' to spew their venom on such pages, and the fact that they consider us to be a drain on society somehow legitimises this in their eyes.
Don't get me started on the smug 'it ain't rocket science' brigade either! Whenever obesity is mentioned in the press, they come out of the woodwork in their droves with the over-simplistic statement that all the obese need to do is 'eat less and move more'! I'm darned sure all of us here know that it really isn't that simple! People who do not have the problem just can't grasp that, like anorexia, obesity is in the main a psychological problem! If it were so easy to avoid getting overweight in the first place, why are there so many of us still overweight now?
It is a well-known fact that the human body is tops for survival, this is why we are so successful as a species. Unfortunately, here in the west, we have evolved to a stage where there is sufficient food and we are no longer threatened by our biggest enemy to survival, FAMINE!! We are programmed to eat in times of plenty to store up fat so that we can survive in a famine. Those of us who grow fat in times of plenty are the ones who would survive the famine, so we are the ones who are in tune with our basic biology! We are doing what mother nature intended us to do. We then derive satisfaction from laying down fat stores so that we will survive! It's really hard to go against our basic biology!
We therefore have a complex relationship with food, to the extent that eating often gives us a strong sense of security and well-being! What WE do is perfectly natural! We should never beat ourselves up for it, because we are in-tune with the survival of the species!
OK, I did write an essay! Sorry, but I have had a long time to think about all this!
So, next time someone gets on your case about your weight, just remember, come the famine, YOU will last a lot longer than the skinny ones who taunt you!
I shall be 65 this year and have been overweight all my life, since my childhood, so I have probably suffered almost every taunt known about my weight over the years. However, I think that in today's world, overweight people are now being actively bullied as a group by society. Since there are now a lot more of us and lots more people are finding it harder to control their weight in today's world of plenty, of convenience foods, fast-food, TV advertising and the modern concept of 'snacking' (I grew up when food was on ration and 'snacks' were unheard of, but I still managed to be overweight!) many people are now afraid that they too will become fat, and it scares them, because being fat is the antithesis of the modern image of beauty, i.e. a 'size zero', so they strike out hardest at what they fear the most.
The media has also whipped up a complete frenzy about the 'drain' the overweight are putting on society, how we are all bringing the NHS to its knees simply by eating more than our 'fair share'! In many people's eyes this has given them a licence to say exactly what they like about the overweight, and there will be no comeback on them for what they say. You only have to read the Daily Mail website and see the awful comments about overweight people which always accompany any obesity-related article published there and believe me there is at least ONE on that site every day. It is all too easy for the 'keyboard warriors' to spew their venom on such pages, and the fact that they consider us to be a drain on society somehow legitimises this in their eyes.
Don't get me started on the smug 'it ain't rocket science' brigade either! Whenever obesity is mentioned in the press, they come out of the woodwork in their droves with the over-simplistic statement that all the obese need to do is 'eat less and move more'! I'm darned sure all of us here know that it really isn't that simple! People who do not have the problem just can't grasp that, like anorexia, obesity is in the main a psychological problem! If it were so easy to avoid getting overweight in the first place, why are there so many of us still overweight now?
It is a well-known fact that the human body is tops for survival, this is why we are so successful as a species. Unfortunately, here in the west, we have evolved to a stage where there is sufficient food and we are no longer threatened by our biggest enemy to survival, FAMINE!! We are programmed to eat in times of plenty to store up fat so that we can survive in a famine. Those of us who grow fat in times of plenty are the ones who would survive the famine, so we are the ones who are in tune with our basic biology! We are doing what mother nature intended us to do. We then derive satisfaction from laying down fat stores so that we will survive! It's really hard to go against our basic biology!
We therefore have a complex relationship with food, to the extent that eating often gives us a strong sense of security and well-being! What WE do is perfectly natural! We should never beat ourselves up for it, because we are in-tune with the survival of the species!
OK, I did write an essay! Sorry, but I have had a long time to think about all this!
So, next time someone gets on your case about your weight, just remember, come the famine, YOU will last a lot longer than the skinny ones who taunt you!
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muffinandsam
Full Member
I was driving a school bus last week, and one of the kids yelled 'women shouldn't drive buses, especially when you're a fat ginger whore'. it actually made me lol a little because 1. I'm not really fat anymore, i'm just squidgy. 2, I'm not ginger, but would LOVE ginger hair! and 3. I'm married, and certainly not whore like lmao. Its cruel though, and its a good job I'm hard skinned because its not nice. The worst thing I found was when last year somebody asked me when I was 'due'. and most definatley not pregnant it was quite an eye opener for me. I'm now two stone lighter
shellistar
Banned
Some of the people we know are horrible!
For me it was being sat down by my (now ex) in laws and told that the reason my ex emotionally abused me was because I was so fat and if I lost weight he would love me again and stop hurting me.
I was also told by him three months after we split that I was so fat and disgusting that no one would ever want me but could we still be "friends". I told him to stick it up his bottom.
I was the same weight I am now (19stone 10lbs) but I'd never been thin, even before the abuse.
For me it was being sat down by my (now ex) in laws and told that the reason my ex emotionally abused me was because I was so fat and if I lost weight he would love me again and stop hurting me.
I was also told by him three months after we split that I was so fat and disgusting that no one would ever want me but could we still be "friends". I told him to stick it up his bottom.
I was the same weight I am now (19stone 10lbs) but I'd never been thin, even before the abuse.
The Caretaker
Silver Member
I started this thread thinking I might have been the only one, and it's great to see how we have had this most of our lives but we are dealing with it really well.
but and let's face it there's always a BUT, today I had a meeting with my manager and told him I have changed my lifestyle and eating habits, and it was like the flood gates opened........he said well I had been wondering about your ability to be effective in your post! So it a good thing you have started to look after yourself a bit!!!!!!
he went on to say "I have seen you struggling trying to do things and I have been thinking would it lead to you having to go / retire" WTF!!!! I have not had a single day off I'll in over a year!! And am the first to complete any furniture moving or any hard heavy physical work I was stunned at his nasty comments!
I will be mentioning this to my union but they are about as useful as a chocolate tea pot these days!
Onward & Downward!
but and let's face it there's always a BUT, today I had a meeting with my manager and told him I have changed my lifestyle and eating habits, and it was like the flood gates opened........he said well I had been wondering about your ability to be effective in your post! So it a good thing you have started to look after yourself a bit!!!!!!
he went on to say "I have seen you struggling trying to do things and I have been thinking would it lead to you having to go / retire" WTF!!!! I have not had a single day off I'll in over a year!! And am the first to complete any furniture moving or any hard heavy physical work I was stunned at his nasty comments!
I will be mentioning this to my union but they are about as useful as a chocolate tea pot these days!
Onward & Downward!
Periwinkle
Keep going!
Picked up some veg there in a shop I'd never been in before today. Just some broccoli and leeks coz I'd ran out. The woman behind the counter said "Giving dieting a go, are we?" and started laughing... It was the way she said it - she seemed so smug... GAH!!!!!!!
donna88
Gold Member
I don't think it matters how she said it, although I'm sure it did make it worse. Grrr, nothing like customer service is there, I would have been tempted to report her if I were you
Periwinkle
Keep going!
I figured if I reported it they'd laugh at me I need me some balls!
I need me some balls!
donna88
Gold Member
I figured if I reported it they'd laugh at me
I can understand that, I remember once at the hairdressers when I was in my teens they told me I had ''something'' in my hair (nits) and sent me out with wet hair saying they couldn't cut my hair because of it, I was so embarrassed I didn't say anything about being sent out in the cold with wet hair as I just wanted to get out of there, ended up attempting to dry it in some public toilets under the hair dryer. I went to the doctors assuming they had seen something and I had them (they'd seen me with my niece as I walked in and asked if I had contact with children) anyway, turns out they hadn't seen any nits or eggs as I didn't have them, it was my ezcema which I get on my scalp and neck... I still hate going to the hairdressers and feel like I have to explain the situation whenever I see a new one, but everyone I have seen since has taken one look and laughed saying how they don't see how it could be mistaken for that and I should have just told them to F off
sorry went off on a rant there, but my point was I understand when something is said you feel too embarrassed to complain in case other people just have the same view
Pink Mummy
Full Member
Sadly my worst comments are from my mum who is 3 and a half stone heavier than me.. I am now a size 16 woohoo and when I went in to hospital to have our fifth baby she got me a size 22 night dress.. And she has said if I loose the weight I'll look normal.. Don't I look normal now? I have lost over 2 stone since jan 2012 and that's having a baby in between too and she is the most unsupportive and hurtful person ever, which is horrid as she's my mum just makes me more determined to be me though to be fair, I know my hubby and babies love me for me so I'm happy as me
just makes me more determined to be me though to be fair, I know my hubby and babies love me for me so I'm happy as me 
VeggieBev
Silver Member
Nothing recently but something that happened years ago has always stuck in my head.
I was always fairly slim growing up but for some reason I always thought I was fat - maybe something to do with the fact my mum was a yo-yo dieter. When I got to my mid-teens, I did put on a bit of weight but looking back I was far from huge. I remember so clearly though that one day one of my mum's friends came to visit. I popped my head round the door to say hello and she responded 'wow, haven't you put on the beef!', I remember it so clearly because I thought it was a horrible term to use and a horrible thing to say. Now that I'm older, I can see that she only said it to make herself feel better. She'd been really quite big for a long time and had just lost loads of weight (the result of her divorce I think) and it hadn't given her the self confidence she'd hoped it would. Clearly putting other people down (children included!!) made her feel better somehow. I think her weight and weightloss had become some sort of obsession and she therefore also became obsessed with what everyone else weighted and ate.
None of the family see her now thankfully!
I was always fairly slim growing up but for some reason I always thought I was fat - maybe something to do with the fact my mum was a yo-yo dieter. When I got to my mid-teens, I did put on a bit of weight but looking back I was far from huge. I remember so clearly though that one day one of my mum's friends came to visit. I popped my head round the door to say hello and she responded 'wow, haven't you put on the beef!', I remember it so clearly because I thought it was a horrible term to use and a horrible thing to say. Now that I'm older, I can see that she only said it to make herself feel better. She'd been really quite big for a long time and had just lost loads of weight (the result of her divorce I think) and it hadn't given her the self confidence she'd hoped it would. Clearly putting other people down (children included!!) made her feel better somehow. I think her weight and weightloss had become some sort of obsession and she therefore also became obsessed with what everyone else weighted and ate.
None of the family see her now thankfully!
Pink Mummy
Full Member
Aww I think it always is the ones that are insecure pick on others that have/ are what theyre insecure about x
Carmilla
Full Member
My weight gain has been relatively recent, after a long period of mental ill health where I was unhealthily slim. I put weight on when I started to get better, as I felt more relaxed and happier.
I then started a new job with people who have only ever known me as this size, and had to endure the "you're always eating" and "are you going to eat ALL OF THAT?!". It makes me so frustrated because I've come so far mental health wise and now have to put up with this crap. Thinness does not equal happiness.
In my previous job (before the gain) I had the "you're too thin" comments and *****y remarks from colleagues because I was a size 8 / 10 and the male attention I got was "my own fault". Honestly you just can't win.
I then started a new job with people who have only ever known me as this size, and had to endure the "you're always eating" and "are you going to eat ALL OF THAT?!". It makes me so frustrated because I've come so far mental health wise and now have to put up with this crap. Thinness does not equal happiness.
In my previous job (before the gain) I had the "you're too thin" comments and *****y remarks from colleagues because I was a size 8 / 10 and the male attention I got was "my own fault". Honestly you just can't win.
secretlady90
New Member
I got out my partners car one time with a birthday present from my grandparents.. some kid come up to me nd said what u got there a box of doughnuts! I wad mortified cudda cried there nd then :/
