Emmaline
Hippety Hop!
DOH!!
What do you call a snobbish prisoner going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
what's your favorite bad joke
- Thread starter clarecbear82
- Start date
DOH!!
What do you call a snobbish prisoner going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
Emmaline
Hippety Hop!
A police officer on traffic duty flags down a car.
“Sir, you appear to have 12 penguins in the back of your car.”
“That’s right, officer, I do.”
“Well that’s ridiculous – take them to the zoo straight away.”
“OK officer.”
And the car drives off.
Next day, the same policeman in the same spot sees the same car drive past – with the penguins in the back. He flags him down again.
“I thought I told you to take them to the zoo…”
“Yes, officer, and it was great – today I’m taking them to the cinema
“Sir, you appear to have 12 penguins in the back of your car.”
“That’s right, officer, I do.”
“Well that’s ridiculous – take them to the zoo straight away.”
“OK officer.”
And the car drives off.
Next day, the same policeman in the same spot sees the same car drive past – with the penguins in the back. He flags him down again.
“I thought I told you to take them to the zoo…”
“Yes, officer, and it was great – today I’m taking them to the cinema
jackiesolo
Member
Did you hear the one about the constipated accountant ?
He couldn`t budget.
He couldn`t budget.
tasi
Silver Member
This was sent to me yesterday
[h=2]The Four Sons[/h]
Four men went golfing one day. Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill.
The three men started talking and bragging about their sons.
The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder, and he is so successful that he gave a friend a new home for free. Just gave it to him!"
The second man said, "My son was a car salesman, and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He's so successful that he gave one of his friends a new Mercedes, fully loaded."
The third man, not wanting to be outdone, bragged, "My son is a stockbroker, and he's doing so well that he gave his friend an entire portfolio."
The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business. The first man mentioned, "We were just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?"
The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay and go-go dances in a gay bar."
The other three men grew silent as he continued, "I'm not totally thrilled about the dancing job, but he must be doing well. His last three boyfriends gave him a house, a brand new Mercedes, and a stock portfolio."
[h=2]The Four Sons[/h]
Four men went golfing one day. Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill.
The three men started talking and bragging about their sons.
The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder, and he is so successful that he gave a friend a new home for free. Just gave it to him!"
The second man said, "My son was a car salesman, and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He's so successful that he gave one of his friends a new Mercedes, fully loaded."
The third man, not wanting to be outdone, bragged, "My son is a stockbroker, and he's doing so well that he gave his friend an entire portfolio."
The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business. The first man mentioned, "We were just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?"
The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay and go-go dances in a gay bar."
The other three men grew silent as he continued, "I'm not totally thrilled about the dancing job, but he must be doing well. His last three boyfriends gave him a house, a brand new Mercedes, and a stock portfolio."
chocolate covered elle
Member
Would you like to hear a joke about a pizza?
...never mind, it's too cheesy. :bliss:
...never mind, it's too cheesy. :bliss:
Emmaline
Hippety Hop!
The Blonde Gambler...
| A beautiful Swedish blonde walks into a Vegas casino and goes straight to the roulette table. She smiles to the two dealers and bets $20,000 on one spin. "I hope you don't mind," she says in a dreamy voice, "but I feel much luckier naked..." and she peeled off all her clothes, staying completely naked. "Come on, baby, mommy needs a new set of clothes!" 
The roulette wheel stops on 13. "I won I WON!!!" Shouts the blonde and jumps in the air in excitement She collects the winnings and her clothes, hugs the dealers and disappears. The two dealers looked at each other in shock, until one of them pulled himself together and ask: "Did she bet on 13?" "I don't know," said the other dealer. "I thought you were looking..." |
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