2013 is my year :)... 40lbs to go!

[Sage-femme]

So today have had porridge for breakie, choc orange bar for lunch and strawberry shake with some flaxseed for din dins!

Feeling positive tonight

Have been craving food the last couple of days but not sure why? wish i didn't have all these cravings!

Resisted ribs tonight and toad in the hole which OH made for the family. Also a big pack of double choc chip maryland cookies

At work today one of my friends was like 'have you lost weight?' and I was like 'hm no i don't think so, I am trying to eat better though so hopefully!' and she was like 'I'm sure you've lost a little weight' which was really nice. Really wanted to tell her about the diet as she's one of my closest friends at work but I don't feel ready to talk about it yet. In the past every time I have told people about it I've gone off the wagon, I like having it to myself at the moment.

Only OH and my dad know.

OH is being surprisingly supportive, whenever I say 'should I quit?' etc he says 'well I think you look gorgeous already but I know your not happy and I want you to be happy, and i know you really want to lose this weight so i'm trying to support you and I'm really proud of how you've stuck to it so far' etc

we have just spent the evening watching a movie and doing ebay auctions to try and raise some money

Hope I stay positive for the next few days... can't wait for Fridays weigh in, have two 13 hour shifts to get through before then but at least they are day shifts

Hope everyone else is well xxx

 

[harry m]

Well Done sage, carry on hun...

 

[Sage-femme]

Ahhh can't sleep!!! I know you lose weight better when you get enough sleep but shifts just seem to mess me up so much it's nearly 2.30am! The kids will be up in 4 hours!

 

[Bailey]

Hey Sage-femme, hope you're ok, just catching up with your diary

You can have all those foods if you want them, you are in control of what you eat and when. You are currently making a choice not to eat those things. It helps me to think of it like that. I am choosing not to eat. I am not being forced to. And more importantly I am not being controlled by food.

Will eating any of those things really change anything? I find I get a minute or so satisfaction after a chocolate biscuit or a slice of pizza or whatever, but it still doesn't change the fact I have to empty the bin or clean the bathroom or try and get a screaming toddler to sleep or go to work or whatever.

But I will feel amazing if I lose weight, if I actually achieve something, if I can be the one putting up my before and after pictures

You're doing so well, you should be so proud of yourself.

Hope you managed to get some sleep. I ended up with post natal insomnia after having my now-toddler and I ended up really poorly with it. I still get anxiety about going to bed and sleeping but I'm actually ok 99% of the time. I can even now sleep with the rugrat if I have to - she woke up at 3.30am and the easiest thing to do was grab her in bed with me, and now we actually both doze off and get our much-needed sleep.

I'm dead jealous of your 11lbs loss, I'm on day 7 today and I've lost 5lbs so far. Still it's coming off and that's what counts

Em xx

 

[Sage-femme]

Thanks hun that's a really helpful post! You are exactly right, it's a choice. When I gave up smoking that's exactly what I did, I actually kept a pack of cigarettes in a drawer so I wouldn't feel like it was out of my control and every day I told myself I was choosing not to smoke.

So that's what I'm doing now, I'm choosing not to eat junk and choosing to lose weight.

Thank you again for posting, it was really uplifting to read today xx

 

[sharon000]

hi Sage hope you managed to get some sleep hun.xx

 

[Lois]

Good afternoon Sage, hope you managed to get back to sleep and you're feeling good today xx

 

[Sage-femme]

Had a good day craving-wise but have had a massive headache all day. I know I'm not drinking nearly enough water but I hate tap water

Anyway still 100% tomorrow if I'm 100% that will be 14 days I'm so proud! I could so keep going till Christmas but having one day off for my friends birthday... The real test will be how well I get back on track!!!

Night lovelies xx

 

[notsoskinnymarge]

Ohhhhhh
14 days TS is fab! !!!
When is your planned day off?
I think your head is in the right place now to keep going after your day off, as you are very positive that you are not going to be beaten this time ;-)

 

[sharon000]

Hi Sage well done 14 days eh! Dont worry about your day off hun you get back on track you are motivated and determined you'll be fine. Enjoy your friends birthday xx

 

[Sage-femme]

Feeling really tearful and down and lonely tonight. I don't know if period is coming, I usually feel like this a couple of days before...

I just wish I was somebody else sometimes.

p.s. this has nothing to do with the diet - 100% still x

 

[notsoskinnymarge]

I get like that sometime too Chaz. Sometimes the smallest thing sets me off.
I am chuffed you have been 100% through it all

 

[harry m]

Hope you are ok today hun.

 

[Bailey]

What's up hun? Why do you want to be someone else?

 

[Sage-femme]

Got sent home early, and i've only just got home, how funny is that. early for me is nearly 9pm? grumble grumble. im shattered. Think I might just collapse into bed now. Have no energy to click any other pages.

Weigh in in the morning. if I've been a good girl and lost over 3lbs this week I will take some new pics as it's then the stone mark

Night all

xxxxxxxx

 

[Sage-femme]

5lbs!!!!!!! One more pound to lose and I'll be out of the hundreds! Exactly 200lbs today

So happy and proud I stayed 100% even after some really rubbish days and a client gave me a gorgeous box of chocolates on weds that I've put away instead of scoffing!

Going to take some new pics now buy don't feel any different yet???!

Xx

 

[Sage-femme]

ok gross, hate pictures of myself but have updated the first post with new pics.... I can't really see a difference yet to be honest but I can definitely feel a difference with my clothes feeling more comfortable/less tight etc xxx

 

[harry m]

Well Done sage!!

 

[notsoskinnymarge]

Wow well done chick!
It takes ages to see the difference in your own self. But you will get there

 

[Bailey]

Your tummy is thinner and your bra fits you much better in the second lot of pics