Always wanted to be a size 16 now buying 14's!!

[Pink!]

Heya babes! Sorry to hear that you're feeling down, but you are doing something that's bound to be amazingly stressful, so just do your best to keep your chin up, keep on remembering the reasons that you're doing it, and as RR said, maybe if you are struggling too much to handle, then maybe it's not the plan for you.
I do think that getting as much support as possible will help though.
Hope that you cheer up soon lovely, take care of yourself!

 

[Size 16 Will Do]

I know it's so hard!!

I don't know why I am attempting this again. I have failed so many times at LL and cambridge. Just a mad moment I think, read the magazine and thought great.

Hubby offered to pay with no moans whatsoever and here I am feeling like a failure. I really dont think I can go on. I was doing ok on SW just getting my head round it. Had my holiday and was looking forward to getting back into it. What did I bother doing this.....

The thing is if I pack it in now I feel so guilty for failing AGAIN! I feel like I have let my husband down as I know he wants me to loose the weight as well because he sees how it stops me doing so much and to be honest I've mucked about for years and think he will get sick pretty soon. It stops us having nights out together etc.

Don't know what to do ???? Need to have a good think to myself and decide once and for all what I am going to do.

Over the years I have been up and down with my weight. 13 year ago I lost 5 st 10 on WW when I got married and this crept back on. Didn't maintain the diet or the exercise. Have tried all diets for years then about 4 years ago I heard of LL and that was it, I discovered VLCD and although I love the results I have never done more than 5 weeks.

Needless to say I put back on what I lost plus a bit more each time. Since then I have gone up by about 2-2/12 stone. I keep loosing a bit then thinking I'll do VLCD and get it off quicker, then failing and on and on and on it goes..................................

My head needs clearing of all diets I have ever done and start fresh.....

Anyway

Speak later x x x

 

[Size 16 Will Do]

Just read through my last few threads and I am so depressing!!!

 

[Pink!]

Heya lovely.
Well, first of all, you are not a failure! You are struggling to find the best path for yourself, and there's bound to be a few rocky patches!
If the vlcd isn't working for you and never has, then maybe that's not the way for you, yes, it'd be great to be able to magically lose the weight in a few weeks, but this has to be sustainable or you'll be back in 5 years doing it all over again. So maybe you should try to finish whatever you've already paid for, and while you're doing that decide on the next path, if you got into SW and feel like you understand how that works, then maybe give that a go next, and if that doesn't work then there's always another option. You are not a failure just because your personality and personal needs dont fit neatly into the mind set needed for a (frankly harsh) diet.
SO this is it, look at your options, make a decision and don't surrender to the demons trying to pull you down, you can do this!

 

[Samprand]

Totally agree with P!nk - dont be so hard on urself hun! Replacing eating habits which is something youve done every single day for years is a massive thing to take on. Dont worry about hubby, I bet any money he doesnt want to see u miserable and would be more than happy for u to lose weight some other way which works better for you x

 

[MsJMC]

hi Helen
your feeling down at the moment as you have not got into it yet and feeling low, they say any diet works but its finding ways to stay on the diet .
maybe if you feel you need some food eat chicken , never tell yourself you can't have it , say you'd rather not .
when your thinking of food is it cos your bored or hungry or upset .
ok , give yourself a brush down and say , ok this is the moment i take control , because you will feel happier knowing the weight is going rather than beatinmg yourself up . have a think and let me know if your in for the challenge , and sam too .

 

[MsJMC]

remember vlcd are much easier todo in the summer because of k feeling cold during the winter . also warm weather we tend to not eat as much

 

[MsJMC]

Thinking differently

​

• STOPP! Pause, take a breath, don't react automatically​
• Understanding links between thoughts, feelings and behaviours - see CBT self help courses​
• Positive self-talk - encourage yourself, tell yourself: I can do this, I am strong and capable - find an affirmation that works for you (even if you don't believe it at first!). Write it down and memorise it for when you need it. See Affirmations​
• Be aware of those unhelpful thinking habits, including "compare and despair" - comparing yourself to others which trigger upsetting thoughts​
• Ask yourself:​
• Am I doing that "compare and despair" thing where I compare myself to others, which makes me feel bad about myself?
• Is there another way of looking at this?
• Am I getting things out of proportion?
• Am I underestimating my ability to cope?
• Am I mind-reading what others might be thinking?
• Am I doing that black-and-white thinking? There are shades of grey! I don't have to be 100% perfect, it's ok to be just ok.
• What advice would I give someone else in this situation?
• Am I putting more pressure on myself, setting up expectations of myself that are almost impossible? What would be more realistic?
• Just because I feel bad, doesn't mean things really are bad.
• What do I want or need from this person or situation? What do they want or need from me? Is there a compromise?
• What would be the consequences of responding the way I usually do?
• Is there another way of dealing with this? What would be the most helpful and effective action to take? (for me, for the situation, for the other person)
• Am I exaggerating the good aspects of others, and putting myself down? Or am I exaggerating the negative and minimising the positives? How would someone else see it? What’s the bigger picture?

When dealing with cravings or trying to break a binge:

• 
  [*]STOPP! Pause, take a breath
  [*]Mindfulness - learn Mindful Breathing
  [*]Drink a large glass of water, iced tea or vegetable juice, and pause
  [*]Write down what you eat whilst you binge
  [*]Focus your attention fully on another activity - Mindful activity
  [*]Do something different (to what you normally do)
  [*]If you carry on eating, eat very slowly, and mindfully. Eat foods that take more chewing such as raw vegetables
  [*]Relaxation techniques - try lots and find one that works for you
  [*]
  
  Put on some music - sing and dance along, or just listen attentively (use music that is likely to help you feel your desired emotion - avoid sad songs if you're depressed)
  [*]Meditation or Prayer
  [*]Help others
  
  
  [*]Be with others - contact a friend, visit family
  [*]Talk to someone
  [*]Grounding techniques - look around you, what do you see, hear, smell, sense? Hold a comforting object.
  [*]Engage in a hobby or other interest - if you don't have one, find one! What have you enjoyed in the past? What have you sometimes thought
  
  about doing but not got around to?
  [*]Write down your thoughts and feelings - get them out of your head
  [*]Just take one step at a time - don't plan too far ahead
  [*]Pamper yourself - do something you really enjoy, or do something relaxing
  [*]Positive self-talk - encourage yourself, tell yourself: I can do this, I am strong and capable - find an affirmation that works for you (even if you don't believe it at first!). Write it down and memorise it for when you need it. See Affirmations
  [*]Do something creative - make a box of items that remind you to use the
  
  techniques that help, or put photos on paper, or write and decorate a list
  [*]Use Safe Place Imagery
  [*]Tell yourself: "This will pass, it's only temporary". "I've got through this before, I can do it now". When we're going through a tunnel and become fearful of being trapped, there's no point in stopping - we just have to carry on in order to reach the end of the tunnel. That light is there, and waiting!
  [*]Find an alternative and healthier way of dealing with distress
  [*]If you have a setback and binge - tell yourself it's ok, it's only once - don't dwell on it too much (other than see what triggered it so that you can then get back onto your self help plan)

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[Samprand]

goooooooooood list MsJMC, lots of good ideas and thoughts. im definitely up for a few challenges its true we dont eat so much in summer, i know that with the heatwave we've had ive often felt like i cant be bothered to move let alone go and cook something to eat

 

[MsJMC]

make a start tomorrow sam ?
i can't do vlcd till the 6th but will do sw and switch .
see if Helen will feel like it tomorrow .
yes read that list over and retrain the way we think .
hows you sam ?

 

[Samprand]

im ok, hayfevers playing up really badly, im all stuffed up and got a sore throat. got 2 new rats today and theyre so cute they get on with the other rats so thats good, theyre all playing together quite happily, no fights or anything yet lol me and the boyfriend have been looking around for a new place to live today, phoning estate agents, emailing people etc and have just been told one place we really really REALLY liked doesnt take dogs - so frustrating! bit disappointed but I'm sure we'll find somewhere eventually. Yes lets start tomorrow, Ive been very bad lately and been eating loads of crisps, chocolate and takeaways. whoops! hows ur headache?

 

[MsJMC]

headaches gone thanks sam .
rats ? hooooooooo do you handle them
thats a shame about the place they don't take dogs , is there any chance of you getting council ?
i really feel for the younger people today like my boys too , all they have is private rent .
start tomorrow , see what is happening with Helen

 

[Size 16 Will Do]

Thanks for the lovely posts. Well today has ended up a nightmare but....

Not gonna give in gonna give it another go tomorrow. 1st week weigh in is Saturday so could still be in ketosis by then.

I will be printing your list off and reading it over and over.

Lets get this show on the road.. maybe I am mucking about waiting for you to start lol x x

 

[Samprand]

we just take them out of their cage and smooth the fur on their heads and their bellies, let them walk between our hands. the puppy likes to play with them, but cuz hes half collie (sheepdog) he tries to herd them lol we've tried applying for council places but its like everyone else is higher priority so we're stuck really.

Well done on not giving up Helen, its worth giving it a go the weigh in might surprise u and spur u on

 

[RainbowRose]

Glad you are feling a little more upbeat now. Never think you are a failure, changing eating habits is so very difficult to adjust to, and changing your mind about an eating plan or a lifestyle takes time. Failing would mean you had given up completely on ever wanting to lose weight, and you haven't done that, and you are not going to give up the challenge, I just know you won't! You WILL succeed, and when 'everything falls into place' and you find what works for you long term, you will definately get the results you deserve

Like you, I too lost over 5 stone years ago, wrong food choices made every lb go back on, and then some!!!! but I learned that if I really want to get the weight off slowly and sensibly...i can!!!!...and as it worked for you too before, you also know you can do it again

Being so overweight stops me from going to events and nights out too, and does affect my marriage/social life, but my hubby does understand and is always patient, I am sure yours is too, don't worry about it, he will only want you to be happy with yourself. I have been to a couple of outings recently as I am losing weight, but I do still feel that horrible uncomfortable feeling, and don't feel 'dressed up' or in any way confident, I still can't accept wedding invitations or parties etc, so it is one of the many hundred reasons, I have GOT to continue, despite a blow out or two along the way I want a normal life, looking and feeling like a normal, and a bit more of an attractive woman

Possible health issues are always on my mind, so that helps me stay on track, or at least helps me get back on track.

Dieting and certain food 'banning' plays havoc with our minds and emotions, try to think of it as a new lifestyle change that includes a different eating plan. Please remember that not eating your usual food, does make you crave it for awhile, (days or weeks!!!.) The craving doesn't neccessarily disappear, you just manage to cope better with it as time goes on.

Good luck, it looks as if you are going to continue with your current plan, so I wish you well and will pop back in and see how you are getting on

Take care and try not to allow this whole dieting malarkey affect your mood and bring you down, just concentrate on the feel good factor when you are feeling fit and healthy and looking fabulous!

 

[Size 16 Will Do]

aaww Rainbowrose

Thanks for a lovely post.

Well I am sitting at work, I have had coffee and water and thinking what am I doing????

I already want food. Think as has been said on the LL forum you need to WANT to do this really bad to be able to succeed. I don't know if I want to do it. All I am feeling is deprived and miserable.

So do I have a full fresh start on WW and take it slow but continue with my exercise which I do enjoy now or make myself miserable and keep trying with LL?

Only I can make the decision I know and I will have made it by the weekend one way or another.

Thanks
everyone and speak soon x x

 

[RainbowRose]

You are welcome i speak from the heart because I really understand!

yes, only you can make the final decision, but,

"All I am feeling is deprived and miserable"

"..or make myself miserable and keep trying with LL?"


I think you may already have made your mind up?

Good luck, still a few days until the weekend...the final decision will come to you by then!

 

[Size 16 Will Do]

Yeah you are right!!!

It's just so easy to keep swopping and changing plans. I need to get into my head it's not going to happen overnight and it is going to be hard work. Ive been dieting for years and if I had just stuck to one thing i would be slim now.

VLCD have always been in the back of my mind, the fast weight loss is appealing. I think I first tried VLCD in 2006!!!! Since then i have always thought I can resort back to it and loose the weight i keep piling on.

I just need to realise it's not for me, it never has been for me and never will be.

Once again thanks for the posts x x

 

[MsJMC]

Hi Helen , which ever way your mind goes , shall i put your name down for the 5 stone ?

 

[MsJMC]

Linda Spangle has this to say about the reasons why we eat (Day 52 of 100 Days of Weight Loss):

Without a doubt, food provides a reliable instant fix. In our culture of fast-food restaurants and microwave ovens, you can always get your food cravings fulfilled now. And you never have to wait for relief. From the first bite of a cookie or candy bar, you can immediately feel a nice sense of pleasure and satisfaction.

Food also provides a great source of entertainment. If there's nothing good on TV, you can always go raid the refrigerator until the programming changes. In fact, it's easy to slip into wandering around eating where you just let food solve your problems of boredom or restlessness.

Food also becomes a solution to times when you have nothing to do. On a rainy afternoon or a long weekend with no plans, you might eat to fill up the empty time. As one of my clients admitted, "Without food, I'd have no fun at all!"

Procrastinate and escape

Eating provides a great way to procrastinate. Whenever you face a task you don't want to do, food gives you a convenient escape. Suppose you need to study for a test, clean the house, or mow the lawn. You simply convince yourself that if you eat something first, you'll be able to tackle it more easily.

Sometimes you might use food to avoid even starting a task. If you have to complete a difficult project such as writing a report, heading for the refrigerator can help you pretend you don't have to do it. As a rule, the larger or more daunting the project, the more times you will eat to avoid it.

Eating to avoid life

Do you ever have times when you just don't feel like doing anything? Sometimes, we reach for food because we're tired of all the demands in our lives. When you feel exhausted or emotionally worn down, eating is the only thing that doesn't seem to take any effort!

The next time this happens, identify exactly what you don't feel like doing. Then remind yourself, "The task will still be there after I finish my food, so I might as well go ahead and do it." Over time, start looking for healthier ways to manage your avoidance, and then leave food out of the picture.

She's a wise woman, that Linda. And there's lots more where that came from. If you've got an iPhone, her app '100 Days of Weight Loss' is well worth getting.