Thanks for the vote of confidence, honey.
its pretty much the fact that we will be starting EVERYTHING from scratch. rebuilding our entire lives. and we dont drive (so would have to learn) and wont have a car, wont have jobs, wont have any credit (and mine was baaad when I left...my credit here is excellent though. but sadly, that doesnt matter) and no one will want to rent to us with no jobs....we wont have a car to be able to get around to look for a place, or to look for jobs/interview etc.....and if any private landlord is willing to rent to us, they will want minimum of 6 months rent up front. thennnn, my sister was telling me how much the security deposits are for things like the electricity and water and gas...to have them turned on..and if you dont have an income and/or have bad or no credit...these deposits are so much more than we had planned/expected. and we just realised that EVERY aspect of this move has to go EXACTLY according to plan - or we are pretty screwed. there is no public safety net in the states. there is no healthcare. there is no nothing. if you get screwed, youre just screwed. and there is the frequency of shootings. i recently liked a local vegas news channel on fb and there is at least one shooting story DAILY. it was never that bad when i left.
add to that the little things...like the fact that the girls will have to go to a childminder (on top of the already massive change of the move itself). and the fact that an american work week is 40hrs + and public holidays are minimal and mean nothing unless you are in certain jobs (schools, banks etc). ive worked christmas eve, christmas day and thanksgiving day before. and also. holiday/vacation time? 1 week per year is about average.
so. there goes our family time.
and all this..for what, exactly?
On the flip side..
the weather here...i hate it. the drink culture? i hate it. they girls have no family that give a **** about them here. at least there they would have my sister (who, adorably, has already started stocking up a toy box for them, in her spare room!!)...the school system terrifies me - the fact that 11 year olds go to HIGH SCHOOL...I just...i hate that. Kids grow up far too quickly here. childhood isnt really celebrated here in the same way. the UKIPers are getting votes!? wtf? ive been on the receiving end of racist remarks (yes...really) more than once here. And once, in my actual job - my boss blamed me "the yank...and you know how completely hopelessly stupid Americans are".....for an error SHE made. Ive been spat at and told to "**** off home" - so. yeah. The NHS is falling to bits. and i am deathly afraid of how the chavs seem to be taking over the country! despite my MILs best efforts my SIL ran with a lowly chavvy crowd and is now a proud chav. by choice. they werent raised that way!!
anyway. there are other bits and pieces...but this is the gist of it.
and i just have no idea what to do - i cant make sense of any of it.