bellefrogette
Silver Member
Also, have to dust the treadmill off
Belle's Journey
- Thread starter bellefrogette
- Start date
bellefrogette
Silver Member
:dooney:/2 again.
Groundhog day
Groundhog day
bellefrogette
Silver Member
:dooney:/2
ok once again I did not go out yesterday, though I meant to and needed to. so today, no hanging about, into the bath and out the door to get my netbook fixed. My new magic bullet mixer came yesterday. Though I do use the full blender for my drinks, I much prefer the magic blender.
and when I put lots of ice in, it does come out ice creamy.
ok once again I did not go out yesterday, though I meant to and needed to. so today, no hanging about, into the bath and out the door to get my netbook fixed. My new magic bullet mixer came yesterday. Though I do use the full blender for my drinks, I much prefer the magic blender.
and when I put lots of ice in, it does come out ice creamy.
bellefrogette
Silver Member
Wow, the gym has a new power plate fittness machine. It's a giant vibrator and its fun fun fun..the guys in the background in the gym were doing their grunting weight thing and I was on this power plate squealing my head off ...its too too yummy The vibrations go right up the legs and into the groin, everything vibrates and if you sit on the plate..oh my GD.
Got my ketostix and my yellow roses.
The vibrations go right up the legs and into the groin, everything vibrates and if you sit on the plate..oh my GD.
Got my ketostix and my yellow roses.
bellefrogette
Silver Member
Actually getting ready properly is a big deal. I tend to skip over this part because I want to 'get on with it'. I have my rituals and often times I think they are optional rather than absolutely fundamental. I have placed my order with ocado for delievery this evening, nothing special except for the rose bath salts.
I really want to be in ketosis by sunday..I can be in ketosis if I simply fast for 48 hours on friday and saturday.To this end I have bought two of my favourite teas and on saturday in anycase I could spend all day at a meditation center.
I really want to be in ketosis by sunday..I can be in ketosis if I simply fast for 48 hours on friday and saturday.To this end I have bought two of my favourite teas and on saturday in anycase I could spend all day at a meditation center.
bellefrogette
Silver Member
Sole sourcing for me is a mental-emotional perspective, a choice and an affirmation and practise of owning my Power,which never went anywhere anyway.
I have been to about 6 O/A meetings in all over the last 6 or 7 months. I never liked them, I never liked the vibe, though some of the people were sweet. I said to myself, that I had to keep going till I 'got it' what ever 'it' is for me.
But to be frank I was alarmed even horrified at the 'unity in weakness' mantras and how each person who spoke reaffirmed that they were powerless.
Paradoxically that was greatest pressure point I was under i.e to admit i was powerless too, otherwise why could I not stick to a program and why was I still over eating and eating emotionally.I felt like a fraud in every meeting because I simply did not relate.Even the phone meetings seemed crazy- but better because I could turn them off if the stories around weakness got too heavy.Yet I kept going and kept listening.
But there was something in me that absolutely refused the mantle of admitting I was 'powerless over food'. I knew
( intellectually) that of course I was an empowered Soul full of grace and light, but that I needed to see and feel that I was and so all of me could move forward . I needed to really really get 'it' to get what I really really want, no ifs not buts .
It seems to have taken forever, but it hasn't really. I always knew this day would come.I know the years will fall away from my looks as the weight that I no longer need falls from my body. Its not getting into ketosis that I needed first and foremost it was getting into my Self, going Home, Remembering.
I was always going to overeat , unless I remembered who I was.It has had nothing to do with addiction, compulsion, lack of will power, self sabotage , or an ego out of control, inner child running amok or any one of a thousand short term explanations.
In every respect, its the trance of forgetting that has fallen away.And the remembrance of who I am that has returned . All I can say is that I know now, who I am and why I am here.
P.s so, though I really disliked O/A I do have O/A in part to thank, that's the great paradox, going to an organisation which is built on a foundation of powerlessness was so utterly painful that I was either going to remember and own and inhabit my power or I was going to drop dead. But I knew I was never going to join.
I have been to about 6 O/A meetings in all over the last 6 or 7 months. I never liked them, I never liked the vibe, though some of the people were sweet. I said to myself, that I had to keep going till I 'got it' what ever 'it' is for me.
But to be frank I was alarmed even horrified at the 'unity in weakness' mantras and how each person who spoke reaffirmed that they were powerless.
Paradoxically that was greatest pressure point I was under i.e to admit i was powerless too, otherwise why could I not stick to a program and why was I still over eating and eating emotionally.I felt like a fraud in every meeting because I simply did not relate.Even the phone meetings seemed crazy- but better because I could turn them off if the stories around weakness got too heavy.Yet I kept going and kept listening.
But there was something in me that absolutely refused the mantle of admitting I was 'powerless over food'. I knew
( intellectually) that of course I was an empowered Soul full of grace and light, but that I needed to see and feel that I was and so all of me could move forward . I needed to really really get 'it' to get what I really really want, no ifs not buts .
It seems to have taken forever, but it hasn't really. I always knew this day would come.I know the years will fall away from my looks as the weight that I no longer need falls from my body. Its not getting into ketosis that I needed first and foremost it was getting into my Self, going Home, Remembering.
I was always going to overeat , unless I remembered who I was.It has had nothing to do with addiction, compulsion, lack of will power, self sabotage , or an ego out of control, inner child running amok or any one of a thousand short term explanations.
In every respect, its the trance of forgetting that has fallen away.And the remembrance of who I am that has returned . All I can say is that I know now, who I am and why I am here.
P.s so, though I really disliked O/A I do have O/A in part to thank, that's the great paradox, going to an organisation which is built on a foundation of powerlessness was so utterly painful that I was either going to remember and own and inhabit my power or I was going to drop dead. But I knew I was never going to join.
bellefrogette
Silver Member
How strange, I seemed to have put on a lb after my first day sole soucre. No explanation springs to mind, but I am aware that I do not have enough physical activity. Its drizzling raining outside, maybe I could kick off by walking to the post office..that should get things moving
bellefrogette
Silver Member
ok going through my work out dvds, got most of them on ebay..this one looks good
a not too fast warmup and lots of smiles
a not too fast warmup and lots of smiles
bellefrogette
Silver Member
:dooney:/2
Did I say groundhog day again? Anyhow Sunday is the begining of my week so, I am optimistic going forward. Had way too much milk yesterday because I was hungry but did not want to eat outside CD, might have been easier if I had had a bar and some coffee.
But no grouching..
Did I say groundhog day again? Anyhow Sunday is the begining of my week so, I am optimistic going forward. Had way too much milk yesterday because I was hungry but did not want to eat outside CD, might have been easier if I had had a bar and some coffee.
But no grouching..
I am interested in your views on O/A. I've never gone to it myself and have definitely felt the same "I'm not powerless" idea...another issue is I'm a fairly hard-core athiest and I don't beleive in higher powers or God or anything that I can put my trust into...except my own free will and trust in my own instincts.
So that's what I'm going to do! I'm hoping our group takes off but until then...let's support each other!
Enjoy your week! I WI on the 26th, Tues so wish me luck!
So that's what I'm going to do! I'm hoping our group takes off but until then...let's support each other!
Enjoy your week! I WI on the 26th, Tues so wish me luck!
bellefrogette
Silver Member
I am interested in your views on O/A. I've never gone to it myself and have definitely felt the same "I'm not powerless" idea...another issue is I'm a fairly hard-core athiest and I don't beleive in higher powers or God or anything that I can put my trust into...except my own free will and trust in my own instincts.
So that's what I'm going to do! I'm hoping our group takes off but until then...let's support each other!
Enjoy your week! I WI on the 26th, Tues so wish me luck!
Hi Galway Mum, yes, I found O/A too much of a head trip in a direction I did not want to go and also ( call me superficial) I just did not see many ( if any) who showed up with radiant good health , slim bodies, a sparkle and a shake in thier booties. It was too psychically grim and depressing. I rememeber the last meeting I went to I wanted to transport every body to an Antony Robbings seminar, just to shake things up a bit..and then I realised my time with them was simply complete.
I think the group will work , the only difference is that I am not going to put a limit on 6 per se , once we reach 6 anyone who needs a place to perch and post till a new group starts up is very welcome to do. so.
bellefrogette
Silver Member
:coffee:/13
Yeah, I have l broken the plateau..about freakin time!..
:bliss:
Ok but now I have to move carefully away from the plateau and keep my eye on the prize-ketosis.Without it I am just kidding myself
My weight goal for this week is a loss of 8lbs
:coffee:/4 would be fine which is also reasonable for a first full week sole sourcing.
main thing this week also I want to cut down on the amount of sweetner I eat.That stuff is a neuro-toxin, I have stevia so I really must start using it
Yeah, I have l broken the plateau..about freakin time!..
:bliss:
Ok but now I have to move carefully away from the plateau and keep my eye on the prize-ketosis.Without it I am just kidding myself
My weight goal for this week is a loss of 8lbs
:coffee:/4 would be fine which is also reasonable for a first full week sole sourcing.
main thing this week also I want to cut down on the amount of sweetner I eat.That stuff is a neuro-toxin, I have stevia so I really must start using it
bellefrogette
Silver Member
:dooney:/2
3 lbs of premenstral bloat:cry:and that dratted groundhog dog is back again, except its not really, normally I put 5-7 lbs premenstral and it shouldn't make any difference ketosis wise.
The best thing I did yesterday was to get to bed on time because to be frank if I don'tget to the gym when it opens at 6.30 I generally don't go at all. It makes no sense and its not even smart having this thing about ' being there when the gym opens' so I am going to have a word with myself.
I could do more walking from place to place during the day too, but I prefer walking after dusk or predawn..another preference that limits my options. Its the daylight in my eyes thing , well I could just wear sunglasses.
Today I am out and about alot, so it will have to be starbuck stops for black coffee and hot water..in fact if I just remain really active for 3 days, bloat or not, I'll be in ketosis
3 lbs of premenstral bloat:cry:and that dratted groundhog dog is back again, except its not really, normally I put 5-7 lbs premenstral and it shouldn't make any difference ketosis wise.
The best thing I did yesterday was to get to bed on time because to be frank if I don'tget to the gym when it opens at 6.30 I generally don't go at all. It makes no sense and its not even smart having this thing about ' being there when the gym opens' so I am going to have a word with myself.
I could do more walking from place to place during the day too, but I prefer walking after dusk or predawn..another preference that limits my options. Its the daylight in my eyes thing , well I could just wear sunglasses.
Today I am out and about alot, so it will have to be starbuck stops for black coffee and hot water..in fact if I just remain really active for 3 days, bloat or not, I'll be in ketosis
bellefrogette
Silver Member
:dooney:/1
I am feeling a bit off today, nothing much or particular. I got back late last night and have had just about enough sleep. I have a meditation group this morning, no doubt that will help.
Latest news, the less I eat, the sounder I sleep, tasted a tony ferguson shake yesterday, by far the worse I have come acrosss.
I am feeling a bit off today, nothing much or particular. I got back late last night and have had just about enough sleep. I have a meditation group this morning, no doubt that will help.
Latest news, the less I eat, the sounder I sleep, tasted a tony ferguson shake yesterday, by far the worse I have come acrosss.
bellefrogette
Silver Member
:dooney:/-
:sigh:,but alright.
Yesterday would have been the day to break out of this program. I was so stressed that I would have just dived into food.As it was I did not have the food here to dive into ( benefits of clearing out stuff) but I did have too many drinks and now I feel queasy, but another lb gone, the same lb that returns I think .
Sometimes I feel any plateau only exists because there is something I still have not accepted within myself to be resloved. I feel it was conflict and stress and action.
I have been embroiled in a legal matter with my uni for a while and yesterday was the end of line for me. I felt so stuck in their stuff and it was so stressful that I had to withdraw from the conflict ( though not the issue) and I just said enough, just send me an official refusal and I can take the next step, because what we have here is circular and it cannot be resolved and I feel both upset and stuck and I have to opt out.
ha! the head of dept sent me an email at around midnight , realising that I would indeed move on with or without her.
Sometimes the stress within a conflict is why I am stuck. Feeling stuck is a signal to me that there is something within my character and way of being that does not work. Its not about anyone else but me and I can change me. one thing folks at O/A used to say is the weight loss and ending complusive or over eating is always an inside job. So true.
So despite the rivers of milk I lost a lb, yeepie, I disentangled myself from the emotions of my head of department and my own emotions on the matter and stood to one side, letting my side of the conflict drop.
I also even thanked her for her help ( though I wanted to say obstruction).
I have been reading carlos castenda and he speaks of how valuable petty tyrants are in ones life, because they can force a person to grow, the energy of a tyrant acting like the guardian of a threshold ( or in my case a plateau). I had to reslove the conflict in me, first and see a clear why out for me...in truth it was not about her or her stuff. All my over eating was always about me.
:sigh:,but alright.
Yesterday would have been the day to break out of this program. I was so stressed that I would have just dived into food.As it was I did not have the food here to dive into ( benefits of clearing out stuff) but I did have too many drinks and now I feel queasy, but another lb gone, the same lb that returns I think .
Sometimes I feel any plateau only exists because there is something I still have not accepted within myself to be resloved. I feel it was conflict and stress and action.
I have been embroiled in a legal matter with my uni for a while and yesterday was the end of line for me. I felt so stuck in their stuff and it was so stressful that I had to withdraw from the conflict ( though not the issue) and I just said enough, just send me an official refusal and I can take the next step, because what we have here is circular and it cannot be resolved and I feel both upset and stuck and I have to opt out.
ha! the head of dept sent me an email at around midnight , realising that I would indeed move on with or without her.
Sometimes the stress within a conflict is why I am stuck. Feeling stuck is a signal to me that there is something within my character and way of being that does not work. Its not about anyone else but me and I can change me. one thing folks at O/A used to say is the weight loss and ending complusive or over eating is always an inside job. So true.
So despite the rivers of milk I lost a lb, yeepie, I disentangled myself from the emotions of my head of department and my own emotions on the matter and stood to one side, letting my side of the conflict drop.
I also even thanked her for her help ( though I wanted to say obstruction
).I have been reading carlos castenda and he speaks of how valuable petty tyrants are in ones life, because they can force a person to grow, the energy of a tyrant acting like the guardian of a threshold ( or in my case a plateau). I had to reslove the conflict in me, first and see a clear why out for me...in truth it was not about her or her stuff. All my over eating was always about me
.
bellefrogette
Silver Member
:coffee:/12
broken the plateau again, or rather dealth with some of the stuff that I have been using to hold me in place.
I sat on the power plate machine, I felt as if my head would vibrate off, that machine is the strangest feeling in the world
Bought a new book
and I have recently been interested in what the qaballah is anyway so this book might come in handy. I'll write a review when I finish.
Today, if I can get away from the computer I am doing a 'get your paint on class' and the woman writes me and says, by the way, there will be dancing?
REVIVE THE ARTIST IN YOU (POSITIVE PAINTING & BIODANZA)
10-5pm Saturday 30th October 2010
Workshop for adults
broken the plateau again
, or rather dealth with some of the stuff that I have been using to hold me in place.I sat on the power plate machine, I felt as if my head would vibrate off, that machine is the strangest feeling in the world
Bought a new book
and I have recently been interested in what the qaballah is anyway so this book might come in handy. I'll write a review when I finish.
Today, if I can get away from the computer I am doing a 'get your paint on class' and the woman writes me and says, by the way, there will be dancing?
REVIVE THE ARTIST IN YOU (POSITIVE PAINTING & BIODANZA)
10-5pm Saturday 30th October 2010
Workshop for adults
bellefrogette
Silver Member
:coffee:/12.
painting and dancing do not go so well together in my experience. I opted out of the dancing. The woman who took the course didn't like it, but I had told her in advance and also told her that I was happy to leave ( with my refund). It was her partner who took the dance part. The dance part took 90 mins with break. And as I saw it wasn't just dancing there was a lot of touching each other and holding of hands. so I am glad I said no upfront.
Ok the saga of my new wig and No, I have not found the other shorter one. I wear this longer one in a bun of sorts and I am amazed how just a small change in one part of how I present can express how I feel. I 'm not ugly, not a bit of it, but my features have been blurred by the roundness of my face.
Anyhow with the contact lenses and the wig, I caught a glimpse of my face under all the fleshiness. Kinda cute.
Ok what else. I am downloading the Geneen Roth workbook from Oprah.com
actually the first book of hers I read that resonated was
but
has much more self reflection to it. Her notion of 'God'is not thr the religious concept, I think she is a buddhist because she speaks of meditation a fair bit.
Actually I wish there had been a reading group in london around the book. I started but stopped because I did not take enough personal responsibility for getting through the workbook regardless of what my reading companion did. Likewise at that time one could not download a pdf from the site and I found filling in on line most awkward..excuses excuses..I was too lazy to plan and put a structure in place
painting and dancing do not go so well together in my experience. I opted out of the dancing. The woman who took the course didn't like it, but I had told her in advance and also told her that I was happy to leave ( with my refund). It was her partner who took the dance part. The dance part took 90 mins with break. And as I saw it wasn't just dancing there was a lot of touching each other and holding of hands. so I am glad I said no upfront.
Ok the saga of my new wig and No, I have not found the other shorter one
. I wear this longer one in a bun of sorts and I am amazed how just a small change in one part of how I present can express how I feel. I 'm not ugly, not a bit of it, but my features have been blurred by the roundness of my face.Anyhow with the contact lenses and the wig, I caught a glimpse of my face under all the fleshiness. Kinda cute.
Ok what else. I am downloading the Geneen Roth workbook from Oprah.com
actually the first book of hers I read that resonated was
but
has much more self reflection to it. Her notion of 'God'is not thr the religious concept, I think she is a buddhist because she speaks of meditation a fair bit.
Actually I wish there had been a reading group in london around the book. I started but stopped because I did not take enough personal responsibility for getting through the workbook regardless of what my reading companion did. Likewise at that time one could not download a pdf from the site and I found filling in on line most awkward..excuses excuses..I was too lazy to plan and put a structure in place
bellefrogette
Silver Member
Ok ,just thinking visually what does 138lbs on a 5'8'' frame look like?
Naomi campbell is 5'9'' and around 110lbs she it totally stunning but at that weight I would be skinny, though I am shorter than her
Rihanna is 5'9'' and around 125lbs
still kinda skinny for me.
Now Michelle Obama says she never talks about her weight , but she is really tall
I still think that those these women look great, for sustainability my goal remains 138.
Anyhow here is a site with folks height and weight pictures in a chart form
Naomi campbell is 5'9'' and around 110lbs she it totally stunning but at that weight I would be skinny, though I am shorter than her
Rihanna is 5'9'' and around 125lbs
still kinda skinny for me.
Now Michelle Obama says she never talks about her weight , but she is really tall
I still think that those these women look great, for sustainability my goal remains 138.
Anyhow here is a site with folks height and weight pictures in a chart form
bellefrogette
Silver Member
Interesting Sync,
so I am in the laundry watching the laundry going round thinking of the Women food and God book and when I would find time to begin working through the question again and as I watching the spin I realised I do not want to do it ! I don't want to read another book about diets, body health, nutrition, womens issues , nope, nada, nothing.
N Mre dieting problem relatated books.
Enough already.
Then I pop over to the diet guy website
on his most recent blog 27/10/10 post he says
What Is Life Really About ?
'..The one thing I have learnt above all others over the last five years is that life really should not be about dieting and the diet lifestyle. I wasted a lot of my 20's and early 30's being obsessed with my weight, what I was eating and what diet I was doing next, I would wake up in the morning thinking about the scales and my breakfast and go to bed thinking about food and how big I was becoming...'
and I feel that way.
I'll weigh everyday cos in the morning that keeps me grounded and focused , I'll write a bit cos I like keeping a record, and I'll plan and prep what I need for my bodies health, that is just sensible- but other than that during the rest of the day I want to discover what my life could be about, really about without the whole diet shebang.
some one has a blog here about 'what if I was slim', let me go find it.
well can't find it but the thing is that I really love the title.
So after my morning body check in and stuff and I am going to begin asking myself
lets say I am a healthy vibrant 138 now , what would I today?
And then do my best to start living it.And if I can remember, then outside these post I am going to stop talking to anyone about weight food Cd, body, not even about beauty and beauty products .
Fashion is another thing though.
so I am in the laundry watching the laundry going round thinking of the Women food and God book and when I would find time to begin working through the question again and as I watching the spin I realised I do not want to do it ! I don't want to read another book about diets, body health, nutrition, womens issues , nope, nada, nothing.
N
Mre dieting problem relatated books. Enough already.
Then I pop over to the diet guy website
on his most recent blog 27/10/10 post he says
What Is Life Really About ?
'..The one thing I have learnt above all others over the last five years is that life really should not be about dieting and the diet lifestyle. I wasted a lot of my 20's and early 30's being obsessed with my weight, what I was eating and what diet I was doing next, I would wake up in the morning thinking about the scales and my breakfast and go to bed thinking about food and how big I was becoming...'
and I feel that way.
I'll weigh everyday cos in the morning that keeps me grounded and focused , I'll write a bit cos I like keeping a record, and I'll plan and prep what I need for my bodies health, that is just sensible- but other than that during the rest of the day I want to discover what my life could be about, really about without the whole diet shebang.
some one has a blog here about 'what if I was slim', let me go find it.
well can't find it but the thing is that I really love the title.
So after my morning body check in and stuff and I am going to begin asking myself
lets say I am a healthy vibrant 138 now , what would I today?
And then do my best to start living it.And if I can remember, then outside these post I am going to stop talking to anyone about weight food Cd, body, not even about beauty and beauty products .
Fashion is another thing though.
