Bostik's Finally Doing It :)

[tranquility]

Well done on the 20% loss and hope you are feeling better soon.

Have you tried eating oranges or having orange juice with your meals? The vitamin C is meant to help you absorb the iron better from your foods.

The best way to break a plateau seems to be to eat more for a few days then go back to your allowance. Also if you are still losing weight on a higher amount of cals I wouldn't reduce them down just because MFP says you should. I've tended to make minor adjustments to my cals every 3 months or so and have continued to lose steadily.

If you want a fat free garlic bread try roasting garlic cloves in the oven and then just spread them on the bread and crisp up in the oven.

 

[Bostik]

Thanks hun Yeah, I read that. Been taking vitamin C supplements too. And eating satsumas and stuff. Hoping it helps. Mum has also been force feeding me lots of beef which is traumatic for me as I mostly eat chicken lol.

Yeah, I don't really mind if I go a bit over calories as I still end up losing. But I am just leaving the calories as they are for now as I am struggling to get up to my allowance these days!

Also good idea about the garlic bread! Might try it when I am less lazy!

 

[Bostik]

Went out for dinner with some friends tonight. One of them goes to me, "woah, what are you now, a size 12??" Hahaha. I don't mind the compliments so much now, but at least make them realistic! Loll. Made me smile though

 

[Bostik]

Got to love having Domino's pizza adverts on a weight loss forum

 

[Squeezyweezy]

I know, how ridiculous!! :8855:

 

[Bostik]

Went to the gym today for the first time in weeks! Session with my trainer to ease me back in. Was sooo hard. Still not 100% I don't think. Glad I went though!

Oh and! I noticed my gym bottoms are getting too big! Need to get the next size down I think

 

[Bostik]

2.2lbs down this week! I am now over 50lbs down! And have lost 3 and a half stones!

 

[Bostik]

I really feel like just eating absolute sh*t today and it is taking all my willpower and more to stop myself. But I really am gonna try not to. I am doing this for me and I will just be sabotaging myself and my own efforts if I eat a load of sh*t and I'm the only one that will regret it!

Went to the doctor again. I've thrown up twice this week. Passed out last Thursday. Feel light headed most of the times when I stand up. Minor things exhaust me like shopping at Asda. I actually have to just get what I need and then go sit in the car til everyone else is done. I'm sleeping maybe 3-4 hours most nights. Except it is never at night. It's from 6-7am til about 10ish. I've noticed I have to stop driving cos I just feel so absent minded when I am. Like one minute I'll be in one place and the next I'll realise oh I'm nearly where I need to be! My psoarisis which I get when I am stressed has started again since Friday.

So I tell him all this. And I actually started crying just cos I was so frustrated and I had to wake up after about an hours sleep to make the appointment. But he's like oh it's all in your head! You have low iron, low vitamin d and you had a stomach infection. We've treated all of these things. So there's no reason you should still have these things happening. It's all psychological. Have some antidepressants! Oh and these antidepressants might make you feel more nauseaus but they'll make you lose some weight. It took sooo much to just walk out of there without thumping the guy! I have lost 51lbs in 5 months! A month on that time I wasn't even trying to lose weight cos of my dissertation and my holiday! These issues aren't even related to my weight anyway!

I'm just so frustrated and angry! I've been ill since November. And they still haven't helped me at all. And now apparently I'm not gonna get better til I start taking the antidepressants! No way. He didn't even believe what I have is psoarisis (he insisted its just excema) even though I was referred by my uni doctor to the dermatologist at the hospital who told me it was that! And then writes in his notes, has "apparently seen dermatologist"!!

Sorry for the rant but I am going mental here. Just need to get it out. So through with these doctors. Need one who'll actually listen to me. How can passing out be in my head! I've never passed out before in my life! Argh!

 

[tranquility]

I think the first thing you need to do is ask to see a different doctor.
Make a long list of all your symptoms and demand it is sorted because at the moment, to me, it sounds as though you shouldn't really be driving at all.

It drives me nuts when they blame everything on the weight issue. And why are they prescribing you anti-depressants anyway when what you are experiencing are physical problems that could cause you to seriously hurt yourself if it happened whilst driving or you passed out whilst walking across a road or something.

Two things that immediately come to mind when you say light headedness when you stand up is low blood pressure and some infection/problem with your inner ears causing your balance to go out of sync.

Good job on not comfort eating. I'm having a similar battle myself today.

Hope you feel better soon.

 

[Bostik]

Thanks hun. I refuse to go back there again. I have been to all three of the doctors in the surgery this year and the first one just gave me a blood test and told me I am anaemic (which I have known for years) when I was throwing up after everything I ate for like 4 months and lost over 4 stones in that time as I could keep nothing down. The second one insisted I was depressed after ten minutes and tried to put me on antidepressants. My supervisor at university is a practising clinical psychologist and I went to her and she knows my whole situation and she agreed that I was not depressed and had no reason to be taking antidepressants. Now this last doctor I thought okay, hes given me tests the first doctor I went to should have done. And thought something was finally going to be done about it all. Now I've just given up hope. Working on getting my doctor changed cos I can't be like this any more.

Yeah, as soon as I realised about my driving I stopped. Can't risk it. He said he wants to prescribe me anti depressants because apparently I've been treated for everything so should be fine so now the symptoms are in my head and won't go until I'm on antidepressants. Makes me so angry! I wake up with headaches and stuff. Why would I want to imagine that. It's making me miserable. It's like I've not been listened to for nearly a year now.

And I even told him I have done stuff about antidepressants for like 4 years now (psychology degree and psychological wellbeing and mental health masters). I am not going on antidepressants. And he had the cheek to be like oh people who have knowledge on these things can be the worst to get help cos they wrongly attribute the side effects so maybe you should listen to the professional! And to go from over 22 stone down to 13 stone 5lbs and still hear stuff about how I need to lose weight just makes me mad. I actually just had to get out of there as soon as I could.

Thanks for listening hun. And sorry to keep rambling. I am just so angry!

 

[Bostik]

And you can win that not comfort eating battle! I know I will and if I can, so can you

 

[Squeezyweezy]

You have every right to be angry hun. I would be. How dare he tell you it's all in your head.

You definitley do not sound depressed. (I suffer from depression and am also half way through my psychology degree). You definitley need to change doctors as soon as you can, because you really need answers.

I am so sorry you are going through all this, I really hope things ease up for you soon. Sending you lot's of love xx

 

[tranquility]

Comfort eating under control hun, just having an Options Indulgence.

I'm really not sure how passing out and feeling light headed can be all in your mind. Unless of course you are deliberately making them manifest by thinking about them. Stupid doctor.

Hope you get your new doctors soon.

 

[Bostik]

I know! I've never passed out in my life so I wouldn't even know where to start to make it happen by purpose! The guys a total headcase!

Thanks guys. My mum had spoke to bupa last week and they said get your doctor to refer you over. But I am not going back to she explained the situation and they are gonna get back to me. She's also made a complaint to some board (PCT or something) who are gonna look into it I think.

On the plus side, me and my boyfriend haven't really been talking recently. Lots of fighting. Not spoke in a few days now. And he text me tonight saying he misses me which I really needed after what went on today. Hope we can sort things out.

 

[Shazzabir]

Bostik I'm really sorry your suffering so much. Your doctors sound awful. I really hope you can get to see another doctor, this has been going on way too long.
A huge pat on the back for the weight you have lost, fantastic Bostik!!!!

 

[Bostik]

Right this is mostly just a reminder to myself! I've broken up with my boyfriend tonight. Even though it is obviously sh*t, it feels like it was the right thing to do. He also agreed. And you immediately felt a relief and got on better than you have done in quite a while. So stick with it for once, woman!

 

[Shazzabir]

Oh Bostik I'm really sorry. Hope your doing ok. Big hug x

 

[Squeezyweezy]

Sending you lot's of love hun. It might be the right thing to do, but it still feels sh****y. You know where we are if you need to talk. xxx

 

[redmel]

Hi Bostik

Sorry to hear about your split You sound positive about it though and that is good, i'm sure mr perfect is waiting for you xx

 

[Bostik]

It was so bloody weird. I was crying and even though he was obviously upset too, he sat there trying to make me laugh and cheer me up! And after it was all over we just spoke for a bit like normal. There was no more anger or upset or frustration in me at all. Just like relief and an appreciation for what we had and stuff I guess. I am feeling positive about it actually. My sister is just waiting for me to change my mind. Think we've broken up 3 times this year so far lol. This feels different though. It wasn't out of anger or anything. Just calm and needed to be done Just feels weird. Two and a half years is a long time to be with someone!