ladyfelsham
Back to SW again
Morning 
Oooh yes, what's callaloo?
How are you finding Dukan compared to Atkins?
Oooh yes, what's callaloo?
How are you finding Dukan compared to Atkins?
Busybusy's 4 week challenge
- Thread starter Busybusy
- Start date
Busybusy
Gold Member
Morning girls,
Sammy - that's great with your sister, can't wait to start losing too.
Lauren - I'm enjoying the woe, not thinking about food at all, as well as feeling quite full. Porridge is my favourite right now. I've had a slight gain but not too worried about as I know I'm due on anyway.
Tee - hi partner in crime! Callaloo is a West Indian wilted spinach dish (your worst nightmare I know). It's very yummy but quite rare as its seldom I'm shops, even the tropical food shops. Only available from people who grow it themselves.
Need some serious advice today girls....I'm an emotional wreck had about 2 hours sleep. Here's my story - I'm so unhappy in my marriage, DH is just not a very nice person (controlling and a bully). I put up with it because of my two lovely boys. They are getting a really privileged life, the main thing being that their at a really good independent school. But I'm so ground down with it all now. I haven't a clue what I should do.
If I go he's made sure I will have to leave with nothing and won't be entitled to anything - so will have to start again from scratch (he'll make sure I can't take much with me out of the house). My friends and siblings are urging me so much to get out. But my folks (who are probably worried about what the community will say) think I should stay another 2 years (as I'm currently working hard to better myself.
The way he's treated me the last couple of days I just feel like I wanna walk out the door - come what may.
Found this on fB
I'm sorry I'm so down. Still sticking to plan and workout today.
Sammy - that's great with your sister, can't wait to start losing too.
Lauren - I'm enjoying the woe, not thinking about food at all, as well as feeling quite full. Porridge is my favourite right now. I've had a slight gain but not too worried about as I know I'm due on anyway.
Tee - hi partner in crime! Callaloo is a West Indian wilted spinach dish (your worst nightmare I know). It's very yummy but quite rare as its seldom I'm shops, even the tropical food shops. Only available from people who grow it themselves.
Need some serious advice today girls....I'm an emotional wreck had about 2 hours sleep. Here's my story - I'm so unhappy in my marriage, DH is just not a very nice person (controlling and a bully). I put up with it because of my two lovely boys. They are getting a really privileged life, the main thing being that their at a really good independent school. But I'm so ground down with it all now. I haven't a clue what I should do.
If I go he's made sure I will have to leave with nothing and won't be entitled to anything - so will have to start again from scratch (he'll make sure I can't take much with me out of the house). My friends and siblings are urging me so much to get out. But my folks (who are probably worried about what the community will say) think I should stay another 2 years (as I'm currently working hard to better myself.
The way he's treated me the last couple of days I just feel like I wanna walk out the door - come what may.
Found this on fB
I'm sorry I'm so down. Still sticking to plan and workout today.
teeney
Silver Member
Sent you a pm, drop me a msg chick x
ladyfelsham
Back to SW again
Oh my lovely girl - how awful to be going through this, big hugs!
I know you love your kids and want to do the right thing by them - but trust me, they will be so much better off when you are in a happier place! I grew up in a brutish unhappy household and it has left real scars. I begged my mum to leave, but my brother (15 at the time) begged her to stay, so she did and then he left a year later himself! My ma was a wonderful person who sacrificed her own happiness for us, and I saw what it did to her. She finally decided to leave Dad eight years ago, then got sick - and that was that.
So I am 100% with your friends. Go, and be happy. Who cares if you're starting from scratch - everyone will help, as much as possible xxx
Busybusy
Gold Member
That's so so sad susie - your so brave with everything you've been through.
How awful for you. I agree with everything Susie says. I am lucky I have a great marriage but I have seen unhappy marriages, no one benefits from them, if you stay you are effectively telling your beautiful boys that it is ok to be treated like this. If you do decided to stay.for a few more years, make sure you do it for your own reasons and not because someone else thinks you should. I can't believe that you would have to go with nothing, I presume you have seen a solicitor. ((hugs))
Busybusy
Gold Member
Thanks means so much right now. I don't need to see a solicitor. I know he's made sure all angles are covered, partly because of his profession and partly because I let him control all our finances for so long. He's so clever - he's abused my trust. I thought I'd be the last to end up in this kind of relationship.
I've lost so much self confidence but I think I've still got enough of the old me to think enough is enough.
Rindaloo
Friendly Recluse :)
I am so sorry you are in this position. But if you think enough's enough then I am happy about that. One thing, if he has been controlling, and bullying, he has probably drained you of self confidence and brainwashed you to think he has control of everything. Please dont be too certain he has all angles covered, get advice, because he might be SO cock-sure, that he might actually have left a chink that can be worked on. Seek advice. I dont know if he same applies now, but thee used to be a thing where you could have one consultation with a solicitor at a minimal fee. I hope this, or someone elses advice, helps. All I will say is, do NOT assume anything, he has put you in this mental place and you might just not be aware of what your true rights are.
Life is too short.......
Life is too short.......
ladyfelsham
Back to SW again
Not really hun - I was able to run away to uni - and went the first chance I could get! Cowardly custard, me
CornishTT
Whatever it takes!
Rindalo is right, seek advice, you never know.
A friend of mine was in a similar position, his partner had convinced him that he would get nothing if he left, etc cause he never 'paid' into mortgage or household bills, anything and they weren't married (gay couple before new legislation). But my friend got half of what his partner was worth, cause he contributed to it by looking after house and helping him with his business, they were together for nearly 15 years!
Also, your position would be stronger as you're married, unless you signed a prenuptial, you are entitled to half AND the fact you have kids he has to help support them.
Good luck and seek advice from a firm outside your community to make sure they give you unbiased advice and don't make things worse by it accidentally getting back to your husband before you are ready. *hugs*
A friend of mine was in a similar position, his partner had convinced him that he would get nothing if he left, etc cause he never 'paid' into mortgage or household bills, anything and they weren't married (gay couple before new legislation). But my friend got half of what his partner was worth, cause he contributed to it by looking after house and helping him with his business, they were together for nearly 15 years!
Also, your position would be stronger as you're married, unless you signed a prenuptial, you are entitled to half AND the fact you have kids he has to help support them.
Good luck and seek advice from a firm outside your community to make sure they give you unbiased advice and don't make things worse by it accidentally getting back to your husband before you are ready. *hugs*
coffeelover
Gold Member
Hugs Busy. That is a difficult one. I agree to definitely see a lawyer. Do you have a place to stay with your sons? Is your family near by? If so I agree to leave and like wise Susie, said, they may be much happier in the long run too.
(((HUGS)))
(((HUGS)))
Busybusy
Gold Member
Not really hun - I was able to run away to uni - and went the first chance I could get! Cowardly custard, me
Awe but suse you were not wrong for wanting to go to uni to secure a better future and better prospects for yourself. You know considering all you been through - this diet lark will be a doddle. You know you'll reach your goals and aspirations Suse - just don't give up xx.
Busybusy
Gold Member
Hi all, I'm so overwhelmed with all your support, thank you so much. I think trying to stay on plan was a bit over ambitious as I did do my morning workout but the woe went pear shaped. My dear dear brother took me to lunch to cheer me up I think, we went to pizza express.
Walking through town we walked into a solicitors and I had a chat with someone. It was better news than I'd expected....I think your all right and I just thought I wouldn't have any rights or claim as that's what he's been telling me. He's gonna look into things, I'm going back weds. He said that if he couldn't help there are people who specialise in this. He also said its mainly Asians who do this type of thing.
I'm a little scared as I don't know how the finances of all this work and I have friends who have brought in a lot of debt from divorce. I think I'd rather start from fresh than incur lots of debt.
Need to reign it in with being off plan.....feeling guilty for stuffing myself, need a good kick up the butt.
Hope your all doing well, and thank you again for your support.
Walking through town we walked into a solicitors and I had a chat with someone. It was better news than I'd expected....I think your all right and I just thought I wouldn't have any rights or claim as that's what he's been telling me. He's gonna look into things, I'm going back weds. He said that if he couldn't help there are people who specialise in this. He also said its mainly Asians who do this type of thing.
I'm a little scared as I don't know how the finances of all this work and I have friends who have brought in a lot of debt from divorce. I think I'd rather start from fresh than incur lots of debt.
Need to reign it in with being off plan.....feeling guilty for stuffing myself, need a good kick up the butt.
Hope your all doing well, and thank you again for your support.
teeney
Silver Member
Your butt is duly kicked! Glad the solicitor gave you good news. We all need to go off plan so just get back on it and we will soon see a whoosh
Busybusy
Gold Member
Your butt is duly kicked! Glad the solicitor gave you good news. We all need to go off plan so just get back on it and we will soon see a whoosh
I really hope so. I'm so stupid I was looking quite good and strangely feeling slim even though scales were a sts. Thanks for the kick up the butt. Today is new back to WOE.
Busybusy
Gold Member
Morning all, feel so stupid for going off plan yesterday. Straight back on it today as I was/am seeing a real difference in figure, you know when other people can tell but you cant and then all of sudden you realise you look leaner??
Posting my menu nice and early today as don't want to stray and let myself think I can have another day off. Gonna have to go back on attack phase to get back into K which is absolutely no veg :-/
Gonna have;
B porridge and SB egg
L 2 roasted chicken thighs (dukan says only lean meat - but hey ho)
D 2 scrambled eggs.
S fat free yoghurts (I have vanilla and toffee in atm, nom nom nom)
S turkey wafers
Water 3l
Posting my menu nice and early today as don't want to stray and let myself think I can have another day off. Gonna have to go back on attack phase to get back into K which is absolutely no veg :-/
Gonna have;
B porridge and SB egg
L 2 roasted chicken thighs (dukan says only lean meat - but hey ho)
D 2 scrambled eggs.
S fat free yoghurts (I have vanilla and toffee in atm, nom nom nom)
S turkey wafers
Water 3l
Busybusy
Gold Member
You go girl! I can't see a pizza will have done much damage
Apart from a coke zero (I'm converted!) I had a mean green day, best to date
Sounds like your in the zone! Go girl x. Coke zero's good for fighting of urge to nibble and plus its no citric acid. Can get expensive if there's no offers on though.
Going to drop kids off to summer camp and pumping out kettlebells soon as I get back. I'm loving the yoghurts and cottage cheese.
teeney
Silver Member
I'm gonna get this coffee down me then I shall be joining you! I can feel yesterday's session with the heavier weights, lovin it x
ladyfelsham
Back to SW again
Thank you sweetie - with the support here it WILL happen
I'm so pleased you did that, hun - it's really important to get all the facts so you can make a clear decision about what to do next. Your Oh sounds very controlling (like my dad) and that in itself can be hugely scary - but that's what they intend. I used to go along with it just for an easy life, ditto my mum, but I used to picture it as him being the death star and I was Luke Skywalker, the rebel fighting to get away from that control
.Arm yourself with all the facts, and remember that this is all about working for a better future for yourself and your kids xxx
And I really wouldn't worry about the pizza - you've drawn a line under it, and knowing you you'll be lifting kettle bells in your sleep
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