SallyVater
Gold Member
I'm so sorry to hear that Tony is back in hospital - here's hoping he'll be back home with you again soon xx
ConstantlyDizzy 2015
- Thread starter constantlydizzy
- Start date
Happy Holidays
Gold Member
Oh dear, it seems like one step forward & two back for Tony, how are you keeping? x
Liverbird52
Gold Member
Sorry to hear a bout Tony xx You need to take care of yourself too xx
constantlydizzy
Gold Member
had very very bad news today. The results of tonys scan show that the cancer has come back just 2 months since they operated. its now terminal but they couldnit tell us much more timewise
there is no surgery option as it has come back right around the carotid artery and is currently affecting some movement of his right arm.
the surgeon is coming tomorrow whos in charge of his care. I asked today if chemo was an option but they don't know and have to liase with the oncologist. all they can say is its very aggressive to have come back so soon so all they can do at the minute is try get his pain under control
I feel like ive had my guts ripped out....feel sick and cant stop crying. I don't know how I made it driving home tonight
there is no surgery option as it has come back right around the carotid artery and is currently affecting some movement of his right arm.
the surgeon is coming tomorrow whos in charge of his care. I asked today if chemo was an option but they don't know and have to liase with the oncologist. all they can say is its very aggressive to have come back so soon so all they can do at the minute is try get his pain under control
I feel like ive had my guts ripped out....feel sick and cant stop crying. I don't know how I made it driving home tonight
SallyVater
Gold Member
What a dreadful shock for you both, I'm so sorry. God, Dizzy, I wish I had something wise or comforting to say to you but I know that words are so inadequate when something terrible drops in your lap.
See what the surgeon says tomorrow/today (?) and hopefully they will also lead you towards some support agencies.
Thinking of you.
See what the surgeon says tomorrow/today (?) and hopefully they will also lead you towards some support agencies.
Thinking of you.
Liverbird52
Gold Member
Oh Dizzy xx
Like Sally wish I knew what to say x
Thinking of you both xx sending lots of ((((((hugs )))))
Take care
..we are here for you xxxx
Like Sally wish I knew what to say x
Thinking of you both xx sending lots of ((((((hugs )))))
Take care
..we are here for you xxxx
Happy Holidays
Gold Member
That's the worse news you could have, how awful, I can only imagine the pain you're going through right now. I appreciate you coming here & telling us that must have been so hard, you know we are all here for you if you need anything, don't forget I don't live to far away xx
Monkey_Monkey_Underpants
Not quite normal
Another one who doesn't know what to say - but I know it's better to be here and try to say something than not be.
Massive, unNICE hugs, and big flings of the southern namby-pambies to you, Dizz.
xx
Massive, unNICE hugs, and big flings of the southern namby-pambies to you, Dizz.
xx
constantlydizzy
Gold Member
thankyou all for your kind rwplies, I know theres not a lot anyone can say at the moment.......I just appreciate you all taking the time to read my posts and it means a lot that you are all thinking of us.
Since my last post we had a chat with 3 consultants on the ward who couldn't really tell us much more until they've held their multi disciplinary meeting about tony on weds......when the oncologist will be involved. All they could answer for us is that the cancer type is very aggressive to have come back and spread just 2 months after they had cleared it all, and that timescales are difficult to say....but they estimate he has between 2 to 6 months max
hes losing his swallow function day by day, yesterday he was unable to drink anything so it looks like things are getting worse very quickly, and there is an ulceration appearing next to the tracheostomy site (which apparently is cancer breaking down the skin there)
Pain wise the morphine is holding it at bay but hes def not pain free as yet so more tinkering with his meds is needed.
Im just in a daze at the minute....things seem so unfair and I cant stop filling up with tears, hes my soulmate and I don't know how il cope without him. Im not even on the deeds to the house so we need to sort that out just in case our wills (home done with kits) don't stand up and his family might just try take a share and il be homeless. Weve even considered getting married to try protect me a bit. Its all happening so fast and my head is a complete mess at the moment.
Ive got no family now....just my son over in Yorkshire and a brother who some of you may remember I don't really see eye to eye with since mum died. Tony was my world. My next door neighbour will be there for me and help me out when she can but other than that.......Im kind of on my own out here x
Since my last post we had a chat with 3 consultants on the ward who couldn't really tell us much more until they've held their multi disciplinary meeting about tony on weds......when the oncologist will be involved. All they could answer for us is that the cancer type is very aggressive to have come back and spread just 2 months after they had cleared it all, and that timescales are difficult to say....but they estimate he has between 2 to 6 months max
hes losing his swallow function day by day, yesterday he was unable to drink anything so it looks like things are getting worse very quickly, and there is an ulceration appearing next to the tracheostomy site (which apparently is cancer breaking down the skin there)
Pain wise the morphine is holding it at bay but hes def not pain free as yet so more tinkering with his meds is needed.
Im just in a daze at the minute....things seem so unfair and I cant stop filling up with tears, hes my soulmate and I don't know how il cope without him. Im not even on the deeds to the house so we need to sort that out just in case our wills (home done with kits) don't stand up and his family might just try take a share and il be homeless. Weve even considered getting married to try protect me a bit. Its all happening so fast and my head is a complete mess at the moment.
Ive got no family now....just my son over in Yorkshire and a brother who some of you may remember I don't really see eye to eye with since mum died. Tony was my world. My next door neighbour will be there for me and help me out when she can but other than that.......Im kind of on my own out here x
Happy Holidays
Gold Member
Thanks for the update, also what about Tony's death in service with work, has he left that to you? I'm sure if he/you contact his work they will have somebody there who can help you with all that, the railway are very good at looking after their staff. PM if you need me to find out anything and I'll do my best x
constantlydizzy
Gold Member
thanks hun. but tony had to finish on ill health not long before we moved here with his back injury......and the meds he was on it wasn't allowed as they show up on the drug and alcohol tests. There may be some small amount of pension there but he never did like paying for insurances etc (a trait from his dad who said you shoud just bank your money
) anyhow that's what he did.....and when he had enough he bought this place no mortgage so at least if I can protect things for myself Il have a mortgage free home.....its just so far away from where I grew up and lived all my life and I feel a little alone here.things just seem overwhelming at the moment im crying constantly and can feel my bipolar starting to go downhill again. I cant eat, cant sleep and keep hoping its all just a bad dream. xx
Happy Holidays
Gold Member
I can understand how overwhelming this is for you, there is so much to sort out & unfortunately it seems like it has to be sorted now. Still contact the pension provider, his ex work can help with this, you need to know who Tony nominated his benefits to on death. This can be sorted now if needed. It sounds like you need help to sort all this out, would you neighbour help? x
Texty_F
Gold Member
Morning my lovely Dizzy. I'm so sorry the news isn't good. There's nothing anyone can say that will make you feel better. Could you contact the solicitor who sorted the house out to see where you stand as far as the house and Tonys property/belongings etc? Your neighbour sounds like a rock and I know she will help you. Could your son come stay with you.
It's hard to try and stay strong hunni but you need to make sure you eat etc. just know were all here for you if/ when you need a rant or just to get things off your chest. Ring your docs to see if they can suggest a network support for you. They must have or know of one.
Massive hugs to you both lovely xxxxx
It's hard to try and stay strong hunni but you need to make sure you eat etc. just know were all here for you if/ when you need a rant or just to get things off your chest. Ring your docs to see if they can suggest a network support for you. They must have or know of one.
Massive hugs to you both lovely xxxxx
Liverbird52
Gold Member
Dizzy sending you lots of hugs xxx If you want any help please feel free to ask ..you're not too far away from Michelle and myself and Kathryn . Take care of yourself xxxx we"re here anytime for you xxx
constantlydizzy
Gold Member
well ive managed to get an appointment with a solicitor to coincide with tonys hosp appts next week, mainly to check that our wills are ok (im worried that because we did them ourselves with a will kit they may not be legally binding) and that I wont risk losing our home to his family. things with tony seem to be going downhill quite fast at the mo and im so worried about coping with it all. feel a little helpless at the moment hes already lost his swallow, waiting for the macmillan team to ring me with his apt time for Friday after the MDT meeting where they will let us know in detail what the plan is from here.
My neighbour called round last night to give us a bit of company and said she will help all she can especially dog sitting.....which will be a massive help if they admit him to hosp again as my brother has said I can stay overnight at their house when needed so Im not travelling so much.
im still feeling crap about the whole thing.....Ive never been alone before and just haven't a clue at all the basics of things like where/how to turn off the electric, fill the boiler with water when needed basic car maintenance and even changing fuses stupid things to maybe be worrying about but that's the sort of thing swimming round in my head.
Tonys sleeping at the mo and Im going to have a nap before we go see the doc at teatime to get his meds changed to soluble/syrups again. x
My neighbour called round last night to give us a bit of company and said she will help all she can especially dog sitting.....which will be a massive help if they admit him to hosp again as my brother has said I can stay overnight at their house when needed so Im not travelling so much.
im still feeling crap about the whole thing.....Ive never been alone before and just haven't a clue at all the basics of things like where/how to turn off the electric, fill the boiler with water when needed basic car maintenance and even changing fuses
stupid things to maybe be worrying about but that's the sort of thing swimming round in my head.Tonys sleeping at the mo and Im going to have a nap before we go see the doc at teatime to get his meds changed to soluble/syrups again. x
Happy Holidays
Gold Member
Thanks for the update, I'm glad you're going to the solicitors next week that'll make you feel a bit better knowing if your Wills are ok.
don't forget to ring up about his pension, take a look at his statements & ring them you won't need to do data protection just ask for confirmation in writing if he has completed a nomination form and if so who the beneficiary is & for them to send a 'nomination of benefits' form to you.
Don't forget to look after yourself xx
don't forget to ring up about his pension, take a look at his statements & ring them you won't need to do data protection just ask for confirmation in writing if he has completed a nomination form and if so who the beneficiary is & for them to send a 'nomination of benefits' form to you.
Don't forget to look after yourself xx
Liverbird52
Gold Member
Second what Michelle has said xx
Take care of yourself xx
Take care of yourself xx
