Flirty's diary ...............

[MadamDotty]

Thanks everyone for their replies - it astounds me anyone wants to read my drivel, let alone comment on it!

Feeling better now i have made an appointment to do something about it - and my OH is so behind me. He feels very upset that he can't solve my problems or cure me .... he works in a "give me a problem and I'll sort it out" logic and of course this isn't that easy ... no simple solutions. But he listens to me ramble on (until 3am one morning!) lets me cry on his shoulder ... (his shirts are getting mildew with all my tears!) and holds me tight, which at the moment is what i need more than anything. My SIL is also my best friend and although she is in London we are in constant contact and she is very supportive too.

It's lovely that you have such a supportive OH, it makes such a difference. My DH was just the same and hated not being able to help me, but like you say, just having someone to hold & listen to you does help in it's own way.

Pandora - I've been down the counselling route years ago , but I'm wondering about psychology ... think I am willing to do anything to feel better and stop my life from becoming so part time.

Anyway eating - or rather not eating! - has gone by the wayside and I'm not even bothered. Will sort my health out first and then concentrate on losing weight.

I think this is spot on Bev, you need to sort yourself & your health out first and be in the right place to get your weight sorted, you don't need to be adding extra stress with worrying about how many lbs you have or haven't lost

I am lucky in that I have the best OH, wonderful kids, great freinds, a nice house and a job that i enjoy. Life could be so much worse ... and the daft thing is I don't even appear depressed, if you know what i mean????

I know exactly what you mean Bev, I carried on for about 7 mths pretending (to myself and everyone around me) that all was fine and dandy, but it wasn't and I just let it get worse and worse, at least you're doing something about it now, before it does get any worse and get too far out of hand.

Take care of yourself Bev, catch up with you again soon.

xx

p.s. thought I'd do my replies in a nice soothing, calming green

 

[jane]

Dear Bev just read your diary,
most of what i have to say has already been said by my betters.not least Mindless.
I do feel v strongly about anti-depressants though.

You've got an enomous plate full of stresses & are spreading yourself v thinly over it.Is it any wonder your stress/depresion symptoms have reappeared?
You do not seem to be v depressed at present & as you said mood improves with the weather,but nor are you your normal self. Bursting into tears on a friend says a lot.

I have called it the Brittle stage of 'I can keep the act up in public just as long as you're not nice to me.'
You didn't describe what happened ,but my guess is that the friend said something kind or concerned,or asked if you were OK. That's all it took to bring you to tears.

now we all now that the best way to treat anything is to remove the cause(s). well that's simply not poss for you.
You've been here before(symptomatically speaking) & antidepressants helped.It would seem likely that they will again.
Then when you are back on an even keel you'll be in a position to consider long term changes eg Cognitive -behavioual therapy,longer psychological help,getting back on the CDexpress(& winning) dealing with the various v difficult relationships that suround you etc.

I'm afraid this sounds rather dogmatic & if I've overstepped the mark I apologise. Just trying to give my penn'orth.

what ever you choose to do I wish you a speedy return to your normal cheerful self.Here's some japonica blossom

 

[Gen]

hey there sweetie.. just dropping by to give you all the support and hugs and love you need!!!

Hope today is going ok for you hun.. you will get there.

love

Gen xxx

 

[Karen1972]

Hey sugarI just wanted to say Hi, I'm not really sure i have anything helpful to add but i am thinking of you and really hope you find a solution to your issues sooner rather than later. Hugs

 

[MadamDotty]

Hiya Bev

Just checking in - hope you're ok today.

Take care
xxx

 

[mindless]

Come back Bev - whatever it is - you're forgiven

 

[debz32]

Hiya Bev....just popped by to say hellooooo

...and to let you know that I'm thinking about ya !

hope you're feeling a bit better....(((hugs))) to you...

lotsa love

Debz
xx

 

[Gen]

Good morning Bev... hope you have a lovely day today...

much love babe

love

Gen xxxx

 

[flirty40greeneyes]

Hiya all you wonderful people - been neglecting the diary thread.

Have an appointment at the Doctors on Monday evening - and so given myself the time off the diet until then .... why??? I don't know, no logic in my life at the moment. I'm not eating sensibly either (of course!!) - so whenever I do decide to step back on the CD wagon will have extra to lose and make it doubly difficult for myself. I write all the right stuff on other peoples threads - but putting it into practice in my life doesn't seem to happen at the moment.

I'm ok-ish, but since admitting things were not right and needing to see the Doctor have felt myself decline even more. I'm hoping to start feeling better in 2/3weeks time and normal service (whatever that was!!) will be resumed!!

Can't thank you lot on here enough - Minimins and the wonderful people on it has kept me amused, on track (even if not dieting!!) and generally given me sound advise. So big THANK YOU's to all of you that have taken the time to read my ramblings, make a comment and generally show concern and care.

 

[Gen]

and so given myself the time off the diet until then ....

eh helllllooooooooooooooooooooo if the above is the case why are you beating urself up about having more to lose when you do get back on track???? Time off is time off girl... if you had time off work would you beat urself up about how much you would have to do when you go back??? (i hope not girl )

Bev... enjoy every morsel of food you eat and don't beat yourself up... you are dealing with your issues and be very very proud of yourself for this.

lots of love hun and ya know where i am if you fancy a chat or whatever!!!

love

Gen xxx

 

[sonkie]

I think your decline is because you have taken time for yourself and have actually realised you have been concentrating so much on everyone else you have been neglecting yourself. It is the first stage to being able to help yourself. It is now you will realise how low you feel and that to feel better you will need to talk to someone in your case your gp to get the help you need ....and deserve.
I think you must make sure you give yourself plenty of "me " time, take time to relax, cry or even punching a pillow .....in fact anything that will help get rid of tension, frustration etc.
It may be a long road but you know we are all here to help and support you along the way.....if you need us just shout.....
Take care xxx

 

[MadamDotty]

Can't add anymore to what Sonkie & Gen have said - so just take care of you

xxxx

 

[flirty40greeneyes]

eh helllllooooooooooooooooooooo if the above is the case why are you beating urself up about having more to lose when you do get back on track???? Time off is time off girl... if you had time off work would you beat urself up about how much you would have to do when you go back??? (i hope not girl )

Bev... enjoy every morsel of food you eat and don't beat yourself up... you are dealing with your issues and be very very proud of yourself for this.

lots of love hun and ya know where i am if you fancy a chat or whatever!!!

love

Gen xxx

Thanks Gen - made me LOL!!! Can't wait to meet you in Dublin.

 

[Gen]

Thanks Gen - made me LOL!!! Can't wait to meet you in Dublin.

can't wait to meet you too chick... you have been such a support to me through thick and thin!!!

we will have such a laugh!!!

love

Gen xxx

 

[flirty40greeneyes]

Yes Sonkie - I have been neglecting myself - always good at helping others .... not so good at accepting it back. And also I "appear" so normal silly: :bliss: :crazy: :ignore: :wave_cry: ) well ok .... maybe that is stretching it a bit!! but I'm certainly not crying all the time or coming across depressed - except to those who know me well.

OH is being made redundant at end of this month - so hoping having him at home (although he must look for work and get on and do his CCNA - a computer course) will help me too.

Thanks to you and MD for looking in on me - it really is a site full of the most wonderfully caring people.

 

[kazz]

Hey hun, hopefully all will be well with the doc on Monday....can only echo wat the others have said really....you are a fab person and its about time u started looking out for numero uno!

 

[Karen]

Bev,

Im also a queen of appearing (almost) normal but feeling really down. it makes dealing with things harder when we repress it all though. u need to do whatever it takes to make urself feel happier and bugger everyone else. u r precious cargo and need to take the journey carefully and mindfully in order to arrive in tact.

i hope u find a way forward that does u good. be selfish and take lots of care of yourself. you most certainly deserve it.

xxxxx

 

[jane]

Hiya all you wonderful people - been neglecting the diary thread.

Have an appointment at the Doctors on Monday evening - and so given myself the time off the diet until then .... why???
Because unlikely as it may sound you are not superhuman.
we can all be thrown off a diet by a brief day-to-day type stress.You are being squeezed a bit harder than that.
I don't know, no logic in my life at the moment. I'm not eating sensibly either (of course!!) - so whenever I do decide to step back on the CD wagon will have extra to lose and make it doubly difficult for myself. I write all the right stuff on other peoples threads - but putting it into practice in my life doesn't seem to happen at the moment.

Well yes you might-a bit. But it won't be as much as last year.AND as you'll be stronger emotionally you'll be able to Succeed.don't beat yourslf up between now & then.
If you stop trying to get on the diet (just til the meds start to help)is it poss that you'll eat better than you are at present?

I'm ok-ish, but since admitting things were not right and needing to see the Doctor have felt myself decline even more. I'm hoping to start feeling better in 2/3weeks time and normal service (whatever that was!!) will be resumed!!

I'm sure you will
Can't thank you lot on here enough - Minimins and the wonderful people on it has kept me amused, on track (even if not dieting!!) and generally given me sound advise. So big THANK YOU's to all of you that have taken the time to read my ramblings, make a comment and generally show concern and care.

.
Shame ou can't get Gp appt earlier. It sounds as if you've made the decision to ask to go back on antideps. for a while & aas you know the sooner you begin the sooner they can get to work.

Then as soon as you feel calmer,even if still low,you can ask permission to restart CD.Gp may well ask you to not SS at first as if you're on SSRI(eg Prozac) then headaches can be a nuisance until medication fully established.But then you know all this as you've had them before.

Wishing you all the best for a swift return to normal.
And here's a periwinkle from the drive

 

[DQ]

:hug99: x

 

[minilady]

Hi Flirty

I know how hard things are, but if you can try and see what's been happening as a phase in your life, one of many that you've had, now with help your going to enter a brand new phase, one that will make you stronger and happier than you've been before.

I've read so many of your posts, they are all written with sincerity and support, you've helped a lot of people including myself, and I'm glad to be able to support you.

So thank you for the reputation comment that you left me and back at you Flirty

Tracey
x