Hi i`m back again lol

[Barb]

OH Roch - you have put a smile on my face this morning! GOOD FOR YOU - telling that b**ch what's what! I am so proud of you, if only more people had the guts to stick up for themselves bullies like her would not get away with being so bl**dy nasty. I bet she didn't expect that reaction from you - she'll think twice before she opens her stupid mouth again.

The puppy sounds adorable; we used the puppy pads for Ozzie for a few weeks when we first had him and found they worked really well until he just decided that only outside will do. Now he can go 12 hours easily at night without going out! Sometimes we put him out for a last wee at 10pm and at 10am we have to push him out the door to go! he is such a lazy little chap and he loves his bed, so if it is cold or windy outside he puts it off as long as he can.
Ebony will change your life in so many good and positve ways - I am so glad for you honey, you deserve to have that dear little puppy in your life.

Lots of Love Barb xxxxx

 

[Roch]

my 8 yr old dog pooh ed on dining room floor ..........so thinking of you ......any good stain removers recommended ????

lets aim for 19 st 13 lbs .............behind you all the way ...x

Sorry Susan, cant help u there hun i only have laminate flooring so its easily cleaned up x

 

[punkass]

Good Luck Roch on ur SS journey, hope it works out for you.. think of the long term goals.. and just think in a few short months you could have lost stones!

As for the woman in the supermarket - ignore her... i hate shallow minded rude people, I'd have said to her, "hey I can diet.. u'll always be ugly!!!"

Good news on ur staffie pup.. i love staffies, I have my own, he is called Buster and is 14 years old... finally he has stopped running around like a puppy.. which he did for ooooh about 12 years! They never grow up! He still has his silly puppy moments... but is a little slower these days!!! Staffies are the best breed of dog ever IMO, they are silly, caring, ridiculous, dense, thick skinned, broad shouldered, fearless... yet every now and then they amaze u with their intelligence! Think they just act their denseness very well!

Best wishes for tomorrow

 

[Roch]

OH Roch - you have put a smile on my face this morning! GOOD FOR YOU - telling that b**ch what's what! I am so proud of you, if only more people had the guts to stick up for themselves bullies like her would not get away with being so bl**dy nasty. I bet she didn't expect that reaction from you - she'll think twice before she opens her stupid mouth again.

The puppy sounds adorable; we used the puppy pads for Ozzie for a few weeks when we first had him and found they worked really well until he just decided that only outside will do. Now he can go 12 hours easily at night without going out! Sometimes we put him out for a last wee at 10pm and at 10am we have to push him out the door to go! he is such a lazy little chap and he loves his bed, so if it is cold or windy outside he puts it off as long as he can.
Ebony will change your life in so many good and positve ways - I am so glad for you honey, you deserve to have that dear little puppy in your life.

Lots of Love Barb xxxxx

Hi Barb,yes the stupid cow was shocked and i bet maybe even scared as i was pretty close to her at the time she most prob thought "oh my god she is going to attack me" i would not waste the little energy i had on her by lifting my hand to her LOL (not that i am a violent person ).

We r using puppy training pads as well but we have now realised that as soon as we see her sniffing in the hallway that she is off to leave us a present so Aaron is having to grab her and put her on the pad,hopefully in a week or so she will get the hang og them, and in 4 weeks time she will be allowed to go out side then, which will be fun for me as i live on the first floor flat and will be having to take her every hour or so down for a wee up and down the bloody stairs but good exercise, hopefully will be a couple of stone lighter then and it will be a bit easier.
Unfortunately my sciatica has kicked in and Aaron might have to bring his school books home and work from home for the next few days as if it is bad tomnorrow then i wont be able to manage to look after her and myself but we will wait and see how it is tomorrow morning, but at the moment it seems to be getting worse and am having probs standing up straight.

I have changed my thread heading yet again, and this time i have put "22.01.07 is my un official bday as i start to relive my life again" as tomorw will be the first day of my new life and i never want to go back to my old life again, where i weigh 28 stone,am depressed,lonely,unhappy and even scared to go out sometimes and a prisoner in my home and body !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So hun enough wingeing from me, hows things with u and how is your son, has his room stayed tidy since he bought his girlfriend home or has it gone back to how it was
One of the things about having ebony is Aaron has to keep his room spotless because of Ebony so thats def a bonus

Catch u later, got to go and lay down, take care hun and have a good day xxx

 

[MandyB2]

Sending you lots of love and good luck for tomorrow hun

xxxxx

 

[mustdoit]

happy birthday then xx

 

[Roch]

Thanks Mandy, how r u doing hun xx

Morning Susan, hows things with u, just looked at your ticker only 17lbs to goal, wow thats just round the corner, have a good day hun xx

 

[Roch]

So here i am again, day one of Ssing !!
I woke up this morning and then i resliased i am now Ssing and suddenly i felt scared big time.
I have been in the position so many times and have been sitting here writing these same thoughts and as soon as the first hurdle came along i gave in to my emotional needs and ate then hated myself after and it seriously spiraled from there.
For years and years no matter how much weight i put on i never seemed to go over my heavisest of 27.8 then suddenly that is no longer my heaviest and my heaviest suddenly creeps up to 28.5 and i feel sick, angry and hate myself even more for allowing myself to get like this, i dont have a life, its just a sheer existance and nothing more !!!

I know that is the past and i need to draw a line under that part of my life and start afresh today but i dont have much confidence and i am sooo scared of giving in and i know if i dont stop eating now, it will come to a point where my body will just close down and i will just end up on a slab in the mortuary (sorry if this is a bit full on so early in the morning)

So today i am going to take small steps and take each day as it comes and try my very hardest and come on here as much as i can, no mater how i feel.

My sciatica is back with vengance but i am not going to let that stop me Ssing today, today is the last time i am ever going to feel like i do today, from now on its onwards and upwards for me emotionally and down,down and down with the pounds and stones.

HERE IS THE LINE I AM DRAWING UNDER MY PAST AND ALL MY NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND BAD TIMES ARE NOW BEHIND ME AND TODAY IS A FRESH START !!!!

Am off to have a pack now and glug some water, take care and have a good day xxxx

 

[pandora]

hi hun
i'll b thinkin about you 2day, just remember, a day at a time & you'll soon b sailing along & the stones will b flying off you.
you've got your wonderful son & new puppy there 2 help you along the way & don't forget all us here rooting for you, if you need help or support all you have 2 do is ask & i for one will b here 4 you
xx

 

[Happe]

Sending you all the positive wishes in the world. You can do this.

 

[MadamDotty]

Good morning Roch, sending you love & light to help you on your new journey.

You sound so ready for this & I really hope you have success, just take it one day at a time, heck, one hour at a time if need be & those scales will soon be zooming downwards. Well done for not letting your sciatica stop you, positive thinking - you can do it & nothing & nobody is going to stop you.

Your puppy sounds lovely, and he'll definately keep you busy.

Take care, have a great day & keep us posted.

xxx

 

[mrs tweedy]

Oh Roch babe, (((((HUGS)))) I remember those feelings well, I was terrified on the first day of CD it was like as though this was it, my last chance at life and I really didn't want to blow it! But one tiny step at a time and with each day a little bit more confidence and it does get easier, i mean I wont lie to you there will be tough days (you know this already as you have done the programme before) but on those tough days in particular you must ask for help get on here and shout out an s.o.s (pm me if you like) just don't suffer in silence and don't try to get through the tough days alone as they will be the times where you really will benefit most from support.
Keep in mind how great you will feel when you have lost those first few stones, and keep in mind what a wonderful thing you are doing for yourself and your son, this will be the start of a brand new life for the both of you and it is going to be all you want it to be!
Remember drink your water and if on any days you really feel your resolve failing (especially these first few days) it would be better to have an extra pack than to fall off the wagon totally, so you do have a little safety net there!

Good luck gorgeous xx

 

[Barb]

Hi Roch, give that puppy a kiss from me - how is she doing? Day one of your new life Roch and I wish you so much luck and happiness. You can do this honey - just remember one day at a time!

Love Barb xx

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Sincerely wishing you success

Hold onto your hat Roch hon- this is very long-winded!!!!

So here i am again, day one of Ssing !!

I woke up this morning and then i resliased i am now Ssing and suddenly i felt scared big time.

Don't be scared, be excited! Approach this with energy and adventure not dread and fear - this is a very very very positive thing you are doing!

I have been in the position so many times and have been sitting here writing these same thoughts and as soon as the first hurdle came along i gave in to my emotional needs and ate then hated myself after and it seriously spiraled from there.

So, now you know and have acknowledged this pattern of behaviour you have the power within you to change it if you really want to

i feel sick, angry and hate myself even more for allowing myself to get like this, i dont have a life, its just a sheer existance and nothing more !!!

Then this is a very positive day because you are doing something about it. Start living, stop existing! YOU are in control of YOUR life hon. Take that control , embrace it, love it, nurture it, work with it not against it, this is YOUR life and YOU are worth the effort! Honestly!!

I know that is the past and i need to draw a line under that part of my life and start afresh today

absolutely right, precisely what needs to happen!

but i dont have much confidence and i am sooo scared of giving in and i know if i dont stop eating now, it will come to a point where my body will just close down and i will just end up on a slab in the mortuary (sorry if this is a bit full on so early in the morning)

You know what Roch, this is the reality. BIG time reality. It is exactly this reality - of a very very early grave and leaving behind my daughters that has pushed me on and on and on. There are no guarantees that any of us will make it to goal , and that we will live to see our targets reached, life is as fickle as that. That said,.. if we (and I mean anyone like you and me who is at this horrendously life-threatening weight) , if WE don't take control and sort our lives out, no matter how tough and how hard and how painful, then we will die. We will abandon our young and leave them to fend for themselves in this massive world. You and I both know that it is our responsibility as parents to enable our children to grow and develop into the adults they should be, not to force them into a life of misery as they witness their mums (and dads) struggling to deal with a massive problem and the emotional (and physical)damage that carries with it. We have a responsibility to our kids to be independant of them - so that they can be independant of us. It isn't easy.

So today i am going to take small steps and take each day as it comes and try my very hardest and come on here as much as i can, no mater how i feel.

That's the only way - every day, every hour, every minute. Tiny steps which will lead to the biggest leaps ever! Let your feelings out, and stay honest to yourself. Every morsel that touches your lips is there because you choose to put it there - from now on, I know, because I have read your posts for the last 15 weeks(when I joined the site), (and gone back prior to that too)and I can see, that THIS TIME YOU MEAN IT!!!!

My sciatica is back with vengance but i am not going to let that stop me Ssing today, today is the last time i am ever going to feel like i do today, from now on its onwards and upwards for me emotionally and down,down and down with the pounds and stones.

Sciatica is no reason not to SS, let's face it, if you can eat with sciatica, you can drink with sciatica, sorry if that sounds harsh, but its fact. If you can drink a cup of tea with scatica, you can SS with it! And yes, I have had (in the past) excruciating back pain, and it is very very debilitating, I'm not belittling that at all, BUT.. perhaps think of your SS packs as medication - because they are in many ways..they aren't a cure all, but they are a mega-way to cure lots! I used to get back ache just standing up. Not any more. I used to dread walking across the room as my back would hurt - not any more. This is how it could be for you too! What pains I do get are definitely easier to bear the less I weigh.. whether that's psychological or physiological I dunno ! Frankly, I don't care as long as it hurts less! lol
As your weight comes off your emotional state will change - sometimes up and sometimes down.. either way.. you CAN still retain control of your life hon, you really can, you just need to believe in yourself. God, that sounds so glib to say it like that, but it is the truth. Self-belief will get you through this.. say to yourself everyday "I CAN DO THIS, I WILL DO THIS, I DESERVE TO DO THIS" Because you are worth this, and when you and I get to goal at the end of this year (because if you stick to it that's another reality!!) there will be fireworks going off and so much celebration!

HERE IS THE LINE I AM DRAWING UNDER MY PAST AND ALL MY NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND BAD TIMES ARE NOW BEHIND ME AND TODAY IS A FRESH START !!!!

Am off to have a pack now and glug some water, take care and have a good day xxxx

I truly and sincerely hope that this time will be the one that works for you - and that in the coming weeks your ticker flies to the right as the weight falls off you. By the time you fly to Dublin at the end of June you will be feeling fantastic and have shed at least (being realistic).. 6-7 stones, if not more! Just imagine how that will feel...

I hope that my comments have been encouraging and that you aren't offended by any of it, it is the truth as I see it. I shall always be honest with you, as I am with everyone, and sometimes it does come across as harsh, so.. I'll understand if you want me to butt out.

Otherwise I will encourage and support you til the cows come home, so please be encouraged, be aware that YOU CAN DO THIS!!! Everyone on here is rooting for you and will be here for the tough times as well as the terrific times. I'm positive that if you stick to this consistently, very soon the terrific will outnumber the tough and a new, positive, confident, self-believing Roch is going to emerge! All the very best for this week and beyond!

Feel free to PM me anytime - or mail me.. but you know I will always be pretty hard-hitting and forthright. I am, so so so so genuinely hoping and praying that you succeed, because Roch, you are a precious child and deserve and are worthy of success. Now, as you are painfully aware, it's up to you.

Much love

Jennie x

 

[Mini]

Hi Roch,

Your making a great start for 2007 and I would like to send you best wishes for your success and I look forward to meeting you in Dublin

Is puppy behaving

Love Mini xxx

 

[cah-ching]

Hello Roch,

Good luck with your journey. I'm right beside ya.
FWIW, right now I feel incapable of taking one day at a time, I find myself taking one hour at a time. Things seem so much easier that way.

good luck ... onwards and downwards - you are too beautiful to die young.

So here i am again, day one of Ssing !!
I woke up this morning and then i resliased i am now Ssing and suddenly i felt scared big time.
I have been in the position so many times and have been sitting here writing these same thoughts and as soon as the first hurdle came along i gave in to my emotional needs and ate then hated myself after and it seriously spiraled from there.
For years and years no matter how much weight i put on i never seemed to go over my heavisest of 27.8 then suddenly that is no longer my heaviest and my heaviest suddenly creeps up to 28.5 and i feel sick, angry and hate myself even more for allowing myself to get like this, i dont have a life, its just a sheer existance and nothing more !!!

I know that is the past and i need to draw a line under that part of my life and start afresh today but i dont have much confidence and i am sooo scared of giving in and i know if i dont stop eating now, it will come to a point where my body will just close down and i will just end up on a slab in the mortuary (sorry if this is a bit full on so early in the morning)

So today i am going to take small steps and take each day as it comes and try my very hardest and come on here as much as i can, no mater how i feel.

My sciatica is back with vengance but i am not going to let that stop me Ssing today, today is the last time i am ever going to feel like i do today, from now on its onwards and upwards for me emotionally and down,down and down with the pounds and stones.

HERE IS THE LINE I AM DRAWING UNDER MY PAST AND ALL MY NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND BAD TIMES ARE NOW BEHIND ME AND TODAY IS A FRESH START !!!!

Am off to have a pack now and glug some water, take care and have a good day xxxx

 

[kandy]

Thinking of you Roch hunny i know you will do whats right for you and if you need help shout we are all here for you !!

Lotsa love julie xxx

 

[mustdoit]

xxx hugs xxx

 

[mrs tweedy]

Hope your first day wasn't too bad hun, just remember it gets better after a few days.
Hope your sciatica has calmed down too hun xx

 

[Geri]

Morning roch,
well done for taking the plunge... how did your day one go yesterday??

You can do it girlie