Hi i`m back again lol

[Barb]

Oh Roch, I wish I could give you a real hug! You must feel so upset after such a demanding day - still perhaps that is as bad as it is ever gonna get and you can honestly say the worse is behind you. I do hope so, I know that you must be reeling at the moment but don't stay away from your friends on here, we are here for you and want to help in any way we can.

Much Love Barb xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

... be positive you are making a difference you are fighting it and its not too late so dont feel down and dont hide we will miss you...dont talk yourself out of ssing if you can do it do it !If you feel scared talk to us thats what we are here

...don't fret hun it's never too late to make the necessary changes, come on babe chin up and think about what the future could potentially hold for you when you've got stuck into your diet! In the meantime don't stop posting, it's at times such as these that you really need the support of your mates, even if you don't want to talk about anything in particular just stick around and be with your mates for a while xx

... do keep posting & let us know how you're getting on - we're all here for you & thinking of you.

...perhaps that is as bad as it is ever gonna get and you can honestly say the worse is behind you. ...don't stay away from your friends on here, we are here for you and want to help in any way we can.

I can't really add much to all of these sentiments except to add my own. Saturday is just 2 days away, well done on being determined to jump right back on track and make those changes you so want to make. Take care and do whatever it takes to get through to Saturday.

 

[Roch]

Ok here goes !!!
The last 48 hrs have been very hard for me and it all started when i was at the hopspital seeing the hormone specialist.
He told me that my organs are essentially closing down and cant cope with the added weight,my blood pressure is worringly high(this is a first for me as never had high bp ever b4) and i have a serious vitamin B defiency and also thiamin defiency, also my water retention is very bad abd all over my body now and have been put on very strong water tabs, alxso i have had a infection in my belly button for 4/5 months which bleeds and smells fouls, my doc never swabbed it just put me on amoxicilin and told me to carry on using fucidin cream,well he swabbed it and said he thinks i might have a very nasty infection think i got the spellng right
Staphyloccus infection i am waiting on the results and also a district nurse to come in to dress it eacxh day so they might have to operate as its so deep it might have caused problems in my tummy.

So this is the reason why i was so upset on thursday and even more upset after seeing the doc yesterday.
He has put me on quite alot of medication i feel like i am a rattling pill box.
I feel scared big time and hate myself so much for abusing myself like this,why did i allow myself to do this to my body, what the hell is wrong with me !!!

He thoroughly recomends vlcd diets like Lt,Cd and LT, but with all the meds they have now put me on as well as taking pain killers and anti inflamatory meds i am not allowed to Ss for the moment.
I am scared and worried i dont think i am strong enough to just go to weight watchers or slimming world i just wanted to to take food out of the equasion !!
I dont know if i can cope with all this emotionally,i feel drained and sick with worry but at the end of the day there is only one person i can blame and thats myself,and i just need to find the strength to deal with this news and find a way to carry on and lose this weight so i can get a chance to carry on with my life and not die prematurely due to my own greed !!!!!!!

 

[Roch]

Hi Julie, thanks hun for all the support u always show me, but at the moment i dont know which way to turn and feel very scared and upset x

 

[Roch]

Hi Mes tweedy,thanks for your kind messages and support.
Can i ask u something, when u were at your heaviest did u have major helath probs as i am now so shocked to find out all that i have done to my body and dont know how to cope at the moment x

 

[Roch]

Ty Susan u r such a kind a caring person x

 

[Roch]

Thanks Mandy for all your support and caring messages x

 

[Roch]

Hi Barb,how r u doing hun,u always are so caring towards me and i so appreciate it but i am finding it hard to acknowledge what i have done to myself and also hating myself so much for allowing myself to get to this stage x

 

[Roch]

Hi Fff, i really enjoy reading all your messages to me,u r always firm but supportive and i appreciate that big time, thank you x

 

[Geri]

Hiya roch,
sorry only just seen you latest postings...

It is never too late, you can take action NOW..... maybe this is the push you need?

really feel for you, know it must be soo upsetting to have such news.... give yourself time to decide where you want to go from here. did the doctor at the hospital suggest any particular diet for you, or maybe say that they would keep an eye on you?

big hug coming your way...
love
Geri
xxx

 

[skinnymongoose]

Roch,
I have just caught up with your thread. I am so sorry you are having such a worrying and frightening time. Try not to hate yourself too much, I know you feel this is all your own fault (you mentioned your 'greed'), but things are rarely that black and white. In any event greed is not the worst sin in the world, although as people with weight probs we are often made to feel as if it is! I speak from experience here.

Try to be kind to you, work on forgiving yourself, you need to be your own best friend now. I hope none of this sounds trite, I know there are no easy answers, I know how difficult your situation is. I really feel for you and wish you all the best.
SM

 

[Roch]

Hi Geri, thanks hun for your message.The doc said i have to follow a low gi diet and i will be seen again in the next couple of months but have to be closely monitored by my Gp.

 

[Barb]

Well that sounds like a step in the right direction Honey. Remember it doesn't matter how long it takes so long as you slowly get the weight off and keep healthy. Low GI is a very good plan and your body obviously needs high quality nutrients which that diet will give you. I know you are disappointed about SS but whatever diet you follow you will lose weight and feel so much better. So, baby steps, less beating yourself up and more faith in yourself -OK? WE are all with you, we want this for you so badly, so take the advice, try not to worry and you will find that little by little your life WILL change.

Much Love, Barb xxx

 

[chelle_powell]

hey hun,

I've only just had chance to catch up with ur thread.
Sorry to hear u're havin a pants time of it - but hun, thats no excuse to keep beating urself up all the time! Whats done is done now, so together we must focus on the future and the quality of that future.
U have loads of love and support on this thread, and u've already proved what a beautiful person u are by all the support u give everyone.... so why not support urself now hun? U have to stop being cruel to urself, u don't deserve it! Alot of us have made bad choices which has lead us to health problems and weight gain, thats why the majority of us are here (myself included! ).
Please please don't think I'm having a go at u hun, thats not my intention at all. I just want u to kno what an important part of this forum u are and now it's time to give that support to urself.

Thinking of u hun, sending u lots of love & healing.
Much love, chelle xx

 

[Geri]

Ahh thats good roch, least you have something to work on...

Tesco's is good for low gi stuff, they have all their foods label red, green and amber ( i think)

hopefuly someone who knows more about it can tell you about it...

Chin up girl
love
Geri
x

 

[MadamDotty]

Sorry to hear you're having such a tough, tough time at the moment Roch. Don't beat yourself up and be so hard on yourself, all of us on this forum have had weight problems which we inflicted on ourselves, but as already said it's not so black & white and as simple as that.

Anything you do at the moment will be a step in the right direction, if you GI for a few months, which is a really good diet you can always look at SSing down the line, when you come off the meds. GI is a very good healthy way to eat & very satisfying, it's what I use to maintain & I really enjoy the food. Tesco's are great because they label a lot of their food as GI green, and they now provide a lot of ready made foods that are GI friendly so you don't have to spend hours doing loads of cooking, which I did when I tried the GI diet a few years ago.

Just take it a day at time, the weight will start to come off and you will start to feel better. Keep posting, keep talking to us, so many people want to help you, don't feel alone, that's the worst.

Take care of yourself, your lovely son & your little puppy, but most of all - yourself.

Big ((((hugs)))))

xxxx

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Hi Roch

I've been away this weekend and just got home and trying to catch up ... I am really glad they have given you a specific diet to follow.. the GI should be a really good start for you and, I know that Ssing is what you really want to do, but for now, as others have said., baby steps.. first get loads of info on the GI , get recipes that are quick and easy and, if possible, do online shopping (Tesco etc) so you don't have the hassle and pain of having to go.. and , I know this is hard, ask Aaron to help you empty your kitchen of all foods that are not on the GI diet.. (no reason why he can't have the same as you but more of it) and have a clean sweep of things.

You CAN do this.. the medical problems (now properly diagnosed and being treated) will improve, I am certain. Whilst I totally understand why you are saying what you are, and feeling how you are, it is so so so important to be kind to yourself, firm but loving to yourself, as you would be with Aaron.. or a great friend.. congratulate yourself every single GI meal you have, and know that your weight will still be falling off you at quite a pace to begin with in any case.

See if you can try and think of 20 things to be thankful for in your life every day - make lists of them and stick them on your fridge, your doors.. anywhere and everywhere.. so you can see that you have such a lot going for you. Even tiny things.. like.. something made you giggle.. or your back didn't hurt for 5 minutes.. small things as well as the big stuff like... Aaron , you ARE alive, you ARE receiving treatment., you ARE beautiful.. know the kind of thing I mean?

You really will be utterly amazed at how many positive things there are and have been in your life...

Also - make lists of what you are looking forward to (but not in a way that makes you feel bad in any way, shape or form).. like.. walking up a flight of stairs without being breathless ... being able to put shoes on easily.. going to X Y and Z on day trips/long weekends... give yourself some lovely treats to look forward to.. a trip to the cinema.. a day at a health spa.. a trip to a favourite book shop.. anything that will make you feel happy.. use colourful cheery paper.. colour code them if you fancy it.. yellow for the cheerful looking ahead things.. bright pink for the thankful ones... I'm sure you get the idea.. lol

I am firm, I know.. lol.. just me I guess.. but I want you to do this Roch.. not for anyone else but YOU!! I know you CAN do this.. and all this medical stuff will, in due course, pass and you will get better and this horrid time will become a distant memory. So, hang on in there, and things will be better xx

 

[HelenG]

Much love to you right now Roch,

I do hope you can start being nice to yourself for a while. As everyone has been saying - YOU support all of us so much, give yourself some of that love

We are with you all the way

 

[kandy]

Hiya Roch M8,
I tried to PM you but your box is full so clear me a space lady !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mucho love hunny, Julie xxxxx

 

[IreneH]

We are all with you in this. I agree with the baby steps and one day at a time.
Big ((((hugs)))) Roch

Irene xx