Hi i`m back again lol

[MadamDotty]

Oh and I meant to say that with regards to friends I know you have many, true friends on this forum. It doesn't matter that we've not met, but when you give so much out to other people, as you do, it'll be returned and you are cared about Roch.

xx

 

[Karen]

roch,

i have read thru ur diary and i think u r lovely! you will definately get the things u wish for. any man would be lucky to have you and u will run rings around everything u feel u have missed out on so far.

i know what u mean, it isnt the weight that really holds u back, its the lack of confidence that really does the damage. you'll get it back and plenty more besides

im so pleased u had positive outcome from doctors visit (that was a bit of a nail-biting read!) and its great u r enjoying the diet u r on.

wishing u all the very best xxxx

 

[flirty40greeneyes]

Well i was sitting down today and thinking about how much i have missed out in my own life the things that others take for granted and that i find hard 2 do or accomplish.
I have let myself go so much over the last year, when i look back on myself a year ago, i was a stone lighter than i am now i would always make sure my hair was washed and straightened every other day and i have long hair right down my back and my make up was always done and clothes wise i always looked smart and now i just dont bother i am ashamed at how much i have let myself go.
I know thats alot to do with being depressed and lonely and very low self worth.

I am so lonely its unbelievable and i think thats why people take liberties with me and i believe they are true friends but later find out they r only out for what they can get and i am 2 trusting so they know very well what to say and do to get what they want from me.

I have cut myself off from most of my so called friends and as i dont work or socialise i obviously dont get to meet new people and i dont have a family support network so i am really on my own.

I have been single for 4 years and ther is no way i could even contemplate dating at this size but i am soo looking forward to the day when i feel comfortable enough to date again and that a man will want me for my personality and not what i can do for him and will love me for me and i dont think i have ever had that !!

I am hopefully going back to finish off my pc course in the next few weeks but have to walk ebony every hour fr the new few weeks starting 2morrow after she has her second jabs to try and get her house clean.

I am not sure what it is about me that makes me so stupid and allows people to use me then just dash me away when they r finished but i dont know how to change all this !!

Ok lady - so things have not been good over the last year especially, and for awhile reading between the lines. But you are not stupid! You are caring and kind hearted and have been unlucky enough to meet people who have not appreciated you for the wonderful human being you are.

You are trying to do something to change things - and change things you will! Then you can start washing and straightening that lovely hair, making up that gorgeous face and dressing up that slimmer body.

You are a very valued member of this site - remember how everyone is concerned when you've not been around for awhile??? And as MD said true friends can be ones you haven't met! You have my email address - email me if you want!

Depression is a terrible affliction - whether it's in a mild form or severe and very debilitating .... and of course sends you off in a vicious cycle of comfort eating to feel better and then self loathing for giving in. You are working through that. You have a lovely son, who cares for you as much as you do for him. A cute puppy - who will give you unconditional love whatever size you are .... and as for a man???? That will come when you are ready .... or rather hopefully he will!!

I think you are taking baby steps in re-establishing yourself and that is the right way to go. 2007 is going to be a major year for you - I can feel it! You have to do whatever is right for you and whatever you feel comfortable with. But you know whatever choices you make you have us here online waiting for and supporting you!

 

[kandy]

Hi there you,
Well its is awful that you have had such a depressing year on the plus side the only way is up (or down pounds wise) !

As for finding true love and respect being a size 10 is no miracle cure to that paticular problem you will allow someone to love you when you can love and respect the person you are !

Maybe a little self esteem work may help , i think that its something i definitely need to work at, my self confidence is zero nobody has as many bad things to say about me than me lol !

You can do it and dont get disheartened at 2 lbs a week its a healthy way to live and no fear of the maintenence plan either its more a way of life than a diet .
I had a good read of the book today and must confess was amazed at the chapter re:- the damage ketosis can do to your body and how easily your metabolism stops working. Food for thought thats for sure anyway another gold star for you missus for another good day !

As for friends and what they can get, i just wanna good laugh and a girlie days shopping and nothing else from ya x
Lotsa love Julie xxx

 

[andi]

Hi Roch,

You sound really down today hun. We all have days like that. Its weird but I have found that when I have taken away my "comfort eating" and im forced to face my feelings instead of burying them in a mound of chocolate that I start to feel the way you do today.

I have been thinking alot about my friendships recently too. I think that no matter what size you are and what type of person you are there will always be people who will not be the friend that you thought they were. People change and so do circumstances. My best friend, who I was very close to, moved away about 18 months ago and, despite assurances that we would make every effort to see each other, we meet about once per month and its nowhere near the same as it was - its a shame because I really miss her. I had a neighbour who for 5 years has been a close friend (sometimes too close - in my house every day!) and in the past few months has not made any effort at all with me and I have no idea why - we are doing that polite saying hello and brief chat thing; I think that all my marital problems may have bored her; she was definitely not the person I thought she was.

There is alot of pressure now not to suffer fools gladly and be the fierce assertive type. You could do that and it may feel better at the time but you would be betraying who you really are - sensitive and caring.

Anyway enough of my meanderings. Keep at it Roch we will get there!

Ax

 

[Isis]

Well i was sitting down today and thinking about how much i have missed out in my own life the things that others take for granted and that i find hard 2 do or accomplish.
I have let myself go so much over the last year, when i look back on myself a year ago, i was a stone lighter than i am now i would always make sure my hair was washed and straightened every other day and i have long hair right down my back and my make up was always done and clothes wise i always looked smart and now i just dont bother i am ashamed at how much i have let myself go.
I know thats alot to do with being depressed and lonely and very low self worth.

I am so lonely its unbelievable and i think thats why people take liberties with me and i believe they are true friends but later find out they r only out for what they can get and i am 2 trusting so they know very well what to say and do to get what they want from me.

I have cut myself off from most of my so called friends and as i dont work or socialise i obviously dont get to meet new people and i dont have a family support network so i am really on my own.

I have been single for 4 years and ther is no way i could even contemplate dating at this size but i am soo looking forward to the day when i feel comfortable enough to date again and that a man will want me for my personality and not what i can do for him and will love me for me and i dont think i have ever had that !!

I am hopefully going back to finish off my pc course in the next few weeks but have to walk ebony every hour fr the new few weeks starting 2morrow after she has her second jabs to try and get her house clean.

I am not sure what it is about me that makes me so stupid and allows people to use me then just dash me away when they r finished but i dont know how to change all this !!

You DO know how to change all this because you have already started the process of complete and positive change!!

Remember what Eleanor Roosevelt said Roch ;

"You have to be lying down to be walked on!"

Lacey xx

 

[Roch]

Hey Roch

Just wanted to say goodluck with the GL diet! And well done on resisting all the sweet stuff, I am doing the GI diet and have struggled to give up sugar! Although at the moment I am managing to resist it through lots of fruit! Generally peeps doing the GL/GI diet have good losses to start with - so I am sure that you will have some fab losses too.

Take care
Luv CC xx xx xx

Morning CC, thanks hun for the support.Its so weird i have not had one sugar craving since i started and i am not eating loads of fruit as i do suffer from colitous so when i cant eat 2 much fruit otherwise the side effects are not very nice .
How were your losses in the first few weeks on the plan and were u having mainly the very low gl stuff or a mix of red.yellow and green.
Take care and thanks xx

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Hiya Roch

Hope this positive attitude continues for ever! It suits you

Sounds like GL or GI (which is it? ) is the key to your success! Really looking forward to your weigh in and reading how chuffed you will be when you get the results you deserve!

Best thing to do with all the neg old stuff is to dump it firmly where it belongs - in the past. This is now and you are living it!! Delighted things are going so well at the moment.

Long may it all continue for you! Hope if you have the snow that you take care if out and about. Even though I don't post much on here - I do read lots and am keeping me beady eye on ya! lol Have a great day! x

 

[Roch]

Oh and I meant to say that with regards to friends I know you have many, true friends on this forum. It doesn't matter that we've not met, but when you give so much out to other people, as you do, it'll be returned and you are cared about Roch.

xx

Thanks Madam D, just felt very lonely more than normal yesterday and it kind of all got 2 much for me and i was not sure if i should write how i felt on my diary thread or not !!

Things just get 2 much for me occasionally and i just hate my life the way it is and of course hate myself for doing this to myself as only i am 2 blame !!

Thanks hun for such kind words and for showing me so much support all the time.
Take care and be careful in the snow xx

 

[flirty40greeneyes]

Thanks Madam D, just felt very lonely more than normal yesterday and it kind of all got 2 much for me and i was not sure if i should write how i felt on my diary thread or not !!

Things just get 2 much for me occasionally and i just hate my life the way it is and of course hate myself for doing this to myself as only i am 2 blame !!

Thanks hun for such kind words and for showing me so much support all the time.
Take care and be careful in the snow xx

Just a personal point of view .... but I think writing in your diary how you feel is the whole point of a diary! It is there for YOU to express how you feel.

You be careful taking Ebony to vets today Roch ... we don't want you to fall over. Can you get a taxi at all???

 

[Roch]

roch,

i have read thru ur diary and i think u r lovely! you will definately get the things u wish for. any man would be lucky to have you and u will run rings around everything u feel u have missed out on so far.

i know what u mean, it isnt the weight that really holds u back, its the lack of confidence that really does the damage. you'll get it back and plenty more besides

im so pleased u had positive outcome from doctors visit (that was a bit of a nail-biting read!) and its great u r enjoying the diet u r on.

wishing u all the very best xxxx

Hi Karen,thanks for such a nice post, i have recently in the past few days read your posts and imeediately noticed your avatar pic because you have such a pretty face.

I do hope soon i will get back some of the confidence i used to have i could really do with some of it now:sigh:

Thanks hun, take care and chat soon xx

 

[chelle_powell]

Hey hun,

How did the weigh in go? (Thursday night isn't it - or have I completely gone bonkers? lol)
Glad u're feel perkier, hope u have a great day!

Much love, hugs, chelle xx

 

[Roch]

Ok lady - so things have not been good over the last year especially, and for awhile reading between the lines. But you are not stupid! You are caring and kind hearted and have been unlucky enough to meet people who have not appreciated you for the wonderful human being you are.

You are trying to do something to change things - and change things you will! Then you can start washing and straightening that lovely hair, making up that gorgeous face and dressing up that slimmer body.

You are a very valued member of this site - remember how everyone is concerned when you've not been around for awhile??? And as MD said true friends can be ones you haven't met! You have my email address - email me if you want!

Depression is a terrible affliction - whether it's in a mild form or severe and very debilitating .... and of course sends you off in a vicious cycle of comfort eating to feel better and then self loathing for giving in. You are working through that. You have a lovely son, who cares for you as much as you do for him. A cute puppy - who will give you unconditional love whatever size you are .... and as for a man???? That will come when you are ready .... or rather hopefully he will!!

I think you are taking baby steps in re-establishing yourself and that is the right way to go. 2007 is going to be a major year for you - I can feel it! You have to do whatever is right for you and whatever you feel comfortable with. But you know whatever choices you make you have us here online waiting for and supporting you!

Bev you are a lady of so much wisdon and kind words and care just flow from you all the time and i really appreciate your posts.
I am taking baby steps,i cant manage walking much more than that and i so hope week by week i will notice the difference in mind,body and soul and start living my life again.
Take care hun and be careful with the snow and ice xx

 

[Roch]

Hi there you,
Well its is awful that you have had such a depressing year on the plus side the only way is up (or down pounds wise) !

As for finding true love and respect being a size 10 is no miracle cure to that paticular problem you will allow someone to love you when you can love and respect the person you are !

Maybe a little self esteem work may help , i think that its something i definitely need to work at, my self confidence is zero nobody has as many bad things to say about me than me lol !

You can do it and dont get disheartened at 2 lbs a week its a healthy way to live and no fear of the maintenence plan either its more a way of life than a diet .
I had a good read of the book today and must confess was amazed at the chapter re:- the damage ketosis can do to your body and how easily your metabolism stops working. Food for thought thats for sure anyway another gold star for you missus for another good day !

As for friends and what they can get, i just wanna good laugh and a girlie days shopping and nothing else from ya x
Lotsa love Julie xxx

Hey Julie, self esteem whats that, lost that many years ago !!!.
So hun how r u doing, did u enjoy reading the book, its def a good read, i think my metabolism is pretty shot at the moment for many reasons, so hopefully the low gl plan will help restore my metabolism to how it should be !!

Hun i maybe we should meet up maybe easter time when we have both lost a significant amount of weight and have a good girly day out and of course lots of shopping

Whats the weather like where u are, we have 6/7 inches of snow and its still falling heavy all the schools are closed and the kids have been in the snow for the last 2 hours.
Take care hun and thanks xxx

 

[Roch]

Hi Roch,

You sound really down today hun. We all have days like that. Its weird but I have found that when I have taken away my "comfort eating" and im forced to face my feelings instead of burying them in a mound of chocolate that I start to feel the way you do today.

I have been thinking alot about my friendships recently too. I think that no matter what size you are and what type of person you are there will always be people who will not be the friend that you thought they were. People change and so do circumstances. My best friend, who I was very close to, moved away about 18 months ago and, despite assurances that we would make every effort to see each other, we meet about once per month and its nowhere near the same as it was - its a shame because I really miss her. I had a neighbour who for 5 years has been a close friend (sometimes too close - in my house every day!) and in the past few months has not made any effort at all with me and I have no idea why - we are doing that polite saying hello and brief chat thing; I think that all my marital problems may have bored her; she was definitely not the person I thought she was.

There is alot of pressure now not to suffer fools gladly and be the fierce assertive type. You could do that and it may feel better at the time but you would be betraying who you really are - sensitive and caring.

Anyway enough of my meanderings. Keep at it Roch we will get there!

Ax

Thanks Andi for such a caring post. i was having a hard day emotionally but at the end of the day my feelings were how i feel each and every day but sometimes it just gets 2 much for me !!
So hun how r u doing, hope u have had a good week, whats the weather like down your sides.
Take care and thanks xxx

 

[Roch]

Hiya Roch

Hope this positive attitude continues for ever! It suits you

Sounds like GL or GI (which is it? ) is the key to your success! Really looking forward to your weigh in and reading how chuffed you will be when you get the results you deserve!

Best thing to do with all the neg old stuff is to dump it firmly where it belongs - in the past. This is now and you are living it!! Delighted things are going so well at the moment.

Long may it all continue for you! Hope if you have the snow that you take care if out and about. Even though I don't post much on here - I do read lots and am keeping me beady eye on ya! lol Have a great day! x

Hey hun, just wanted to congratulate u again for your amazing weight loss, u go girl 6 stone thats truly amazing.
I really felt for you this week i know how hard it is to miss your parents but still you stayed on track u r one steong lady.

I know i need to dump the old negative stuff but i find it hard but i am trying to change.

I am pleased you have your baedy eye on me, take care hun and have a good day xxx

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Hey hun, just wanted to congratulate u again for your amazing weight loss, u go girl 6 stone thats truly amazing.
I really felt for you this week i know how hard it is to miss your parents but still you stayed on track u r one steong lady.

I know i need to dump the old negative stuff but i find it hard but i am trying to change.

I am pleased you have your baedy eye on me, take care hun and have a good day xxx

thanks Roch. I can't get my head around the numbers.. lol... still in shock I guess..

It is SOOOOO hard to change so don't worry too much... it is very often a gradual process... so.. patience, small steps and before you know it.. it will have happened and you won't have been aware of it!!

You take care too - it's not that nice outside (pretty but not nice!)

 

[Roch]

Just a personal point of view .... but I think writing in your diary how you feel is the whole point of a diary! It is there for YOU to express how you feel.

You be careful taking Ebony to vets today Roch ... we don't want you to fall over. Can you get a taxi at all???

Morning Beverly, i know what u r saying but sometimes i feel like i am writing so much more negative things than positive things and i dont like that.

I dont think i can get a cab as most cabs wont take a dog i will just have to put trainers on and hold on to Aaron for dear life, then i have to go 2 Sw so i have to go out and about just got to be very careful.
How r u doing today hun, hope the weather is not 2 bad where u r, chat soon and have a nice day xx

 

[Roch]

thanks Roch. I can't get my head around the numbers.. lol... still in shock I guess..

It is SOOOOO hard to change so don't worry too much... it is very often a gradual process... so.. patience, small steps and before you know it.. it will have happened and you won't have been aware of it!!

You take care too - it's not that nice outside (pretty but not nice!)

Hi fff i am so looking forward to seeing changes emotionally and phyisically and i am determined to do it this time but it has 2 be small steps for for the momment till i am able to take larger strides, hopefully in the coming months.
Whats the weather like where u r !!
You take care 2 and thanks xx

 

[flirty40greeneyes]

Morning Beverly, i know what u r saying but sometimes i feel like i am writing so much more negative things than positive things and i dont like that.

That's fine if that's what you need to do at the moment. If it gets it down out of your head and then you deal with it - don't worry.

A diary thread doesn't have to be all sweetness and light ... and you are being positive - it shines through - so carry on hun!