Karens Herbalife Diary- bad penny returns :D

[Mini]

well...hubby is looking at jobs in America at the moment. I think whats going on with his dad has really made him homesick. he is always homesick but usually takes it in his stride. now that his dad is ill i think he really wants to be there. I can totally understand that and an quite open to the idea of moving out there BUT....

i do have concerns of my own. My mum isnt in the best of health either. I personally think she is living on borrowed time. she has a dicky ticker and diebetes that she in absolutely no way looks after. she doesnt take ANY of the 5 heart tablets she is meant to following a massive heart attack 2 years ago and she doesnt take her insuline either. she doesnt watch what she eats and she doesnt even check her sugar levels. she also smokes a lot. my dad will outlive us all BUT hes 66 this year and i dunno....i feel quite guilty at the thought of leaving them.

I dont think they would care about me moving to america but they would have an awful lot to say about my kids moving out there. b4 hubby came along i was bringing up jay and kirsten alone but my dad was like a father to them. hes very close to them although they arent as bothered now that they r older.

the other thing is my sister. Im really close to her and we dont decide on an outfit without eachothers opinion. i would hate to leave her and my niece.

i say in theory that im open to the idea of moving to america but in practice...im not so sure i wouldnt back out at the last minute.

i know it would be a better life for the kids and kevin has a large family that would be of great support. i just dunno... im quite a flakey person lol. my sister thinks we should move out there as "u only get one life!" and she thinks it would be better for the kids. my parents would be mortified though. my kids are their life frankly. they moved frm london to plymouth after being settled there for 40 years in the same house just to be near my kids. now 12 months later i could be breaking the news that we r moving 3000 miles away!! i dont think they would ever forgive me. and one day they will both pass away. i dont know if i could forgive myself being so far away.

i dont know how seriously to take hubbys flap about moving back there as i know its based on his dad being ill. I cant imagine how i would feel if something happened to one of my parents and i was 3000 miles away. should i take it seriously? should i encourage it?? its been about a week since hubby started talking about this more seriously and now he is actively looking for work out there. the job market is a lot better out there for him. in his city there are 1500 IT jobs matching his skills and here in plymouth there are NONE. he'd have to always commute to either exeter or bristol/bath which is 45-120 miles from here.

can anyone give me their prospective, pretty please??
:needhug:

Big :grouphugg:

Like any decision there are pro's and con's to everything.

On the one had you have the oppurtunity of perhaps a better life style for your family and the other you will miss your own family, but you will have your husbands extended family over there.

Flights are much more affordable so it is not like you can't come home on holidays.

You could end up with the best of both worlds and your sister might like flying out to visit you and go shopping and it would be a change for her.

Sure if you don't like it you can always come home again.

Can you keep your house and let it out while your away so that you always have a base to return to and property in the UK rises faster than in America.

Love Mini xxx

 

[sonkie]

Wow Karen what a bolt out of the blue.....!
But what an opportunity too, the lifestyle etc, the kids would love it. What if you go over for a month or so and try it out so to speak. Just think your family would be able to come over for holidays and vice versa. Hee hee if things get worse with Ian I could rent your house off you then if you want to come back you will still have somewhere to come back too.

The houses over there are bigger too which is what you were wanting......! OMG what about our walks etc ....lol. Im sure I could manage.....just !

You could always make sure evryone has a computer then contact each other via email and msn etc.....!

Though if I was in your position Im not sure what I would do, think if it was a certainty that Kev wanted to move back I would run it by the kids and do research on the area so they can see what it is like.

 

[KD]

Does everyone think the lifestyle is better?

I've only been there a couple of times, once to Florida and the other to NYC. Okay for a holiday, but I wouldn't like to live there at all.

But it is cheaper and everything is bigger.....

 

[sonkie]

Where Karens hubby is from is the border with Canada. Cant remember the name though.

 

[AngieBabie]

Karen the lifestyle in the States is so much better then in this country, but i know where you are coming from regarding missing your family. I have the same decision to make soon, on whether I move to Washington State or stay here in Wales. It makes my heart tie itself up in knots as I think about it, but I know that my life will be so much better there, the opportunities are wonderful and nurses are respected more (by the government) there then they are here. Its a tough call, but you have to remember that it is only an 8 hour flight (give or take a few), and your family can come visit you as well as you coming back here to visit them. Hope things work out for you all. Angela x

 

[Karen]

thanks for all ur replies. wonderful to have such a fab bunch as a sounding board.

i dont think i would like to live in NYC or Florida. Hubby is from Minnesota so i would have to deal with a good few months of snow each year eekk!! it is lovely there and the people are more "real" than many parts of USA.

well my mum came over and i asked her how she would feel. response worse than i expected. hubby got called every name under the sun and now shes not speaking to me. i only said "kev wants to think about moving to the states...how would..." sentence didnt get finished. she went on a tirade about her heart and as with everything else, she made it all about herself lol. then she told me to F off out there then... u think that was her blessing?? kinda makes me wanna take the next flight out

since he got home from work i have asked him how serious he is about it and he confesses that hes been thinking about it for a while cos where we live is rubbish for his job choices. it seems his dad getting ill is just one of the reasons.

i guess we r going to have to chat about it. if this is what he wants to do then to be honest it wouldnt happen for a while. it would mean him going out for a while first and setting up a home and job. we are in the process of buying our house from my dad so we would keep on with that and just rent it out to cover the mortgage. im kinda hoping this is a flash in the pan idea. then i dont have to make any decisions. am i a chicken or what?? lol

 

[KD]

the opportunities are wonderful and nurses are respected more (by the government) there then they are here.

I think that's where it becomes such a personal thing. Teaching is bad out there, teachers are paid less. The education system is about 10 years behind...and hey I'm a techie freak and they are behind in that too.

I also like walking, and that's more unusual out there. And the politics ...better not go into that The coke is like acid (but that's not a bad thing I suppose)

Not trying to put you off or anything. But the grass is always greener on the other side, and you have to weigh up the pros and cons for your personal dreams if you get what I mean

 

[Mini]

Hi Karen,

It is only natural to be scared and a bit unsure.

It would be great security blanket and a good investment to keep your house in the UK and that way perhaps your parents might be more accepting at least they know now what your thinking.

Some times we get opportunities in life and we can miss out my indecision.

My Dad held it against my Mum that she would not move to Canada...she did not want to leave her neigbours.

He missed out in a once in a life time opportunity:sigh:

Such is life.

So make sure you make the right decision for you, your husband and children...

Love Mini xxx

 

[Karen]

well where hubby is from the schooling is better than here in the west country so thats great for the kids. where he is from is uite "wholsome" but to be honest, I dont think the Americans have much of a culture. the thing i am most impressed by out there is the drive-in movies and the diner we went to that had the waitresses out on rollerskates like in "happy days". im sorry but im easily pleased lol.

i wont even get into the politics either. i would probably always have to avoid any convo regarding Bush for fear of being ejected from the country lol.

 

[Karen]

u r totally right mini. im only really concerned about how the kids would be. not as bothered about what kev or my folks think. would feel awful to my parents but that wont be the decider...it just means the difference on whether we go on bad terms or good if it comes to moving.

 

[sonkie]

thanks for all ur replies. wonderful to have such a fab bunch as a sounding board.

i dont think i would like to live in NYC or Florida. Hubby is from Minnesota so i would have to deal with a good few months of snow each year eekk!! it is lovely there and the people are more "real" than many parts of USA.

well my mum came over and i asked her how she would feel. response worse than i expected. hubby got called every name under the sun and now shes not speaking to me. i only said "kev wants to think about moving to the states...how would..." sentence didnt get finished. she went on a tirade about her heart and as with everything else, she made it all about herself lol. then she told me to F off out there then... u think that was her blessing?? kinda makes me wanna take the next flight out

since he got home from work i have asked him how serious he is about it and he confesses that hes been thinking about it for a while cos where we live is rubbish for his job choices. it seems his dad getting ill is just one of the reasons.

i guess we r going to have to chat about it. if this is what he wants to do then to be honest it wouldnt happen for a while. it would mean him going out for a while first and setting up a home and job. we are in the process of buying our house from my dad so we would keep on with that and just rent it out to cover the mortgage. im kinda hoping this is a flash in the pan idea. then i dont have to make any decisions. am i a chicken or what?? lol

Karen the way your mum treats you is disgusting, I think you have taken all the shite your mother has dished out to you so well, you never know if you were in America she may realise how badly she has treated you.. That response was not at all how you expect your mother to react.
I think you and Kevin must put yourselves first for once, and think what will be the best for your family. Your mum has got Dawn around so its not as if she will be alone with no one around.
We would all miss you ....obviously, but hey I would have somewhere to crash for a holiday.....lol.
Snow OMG I would have to come over with the kids and help them build their first ever snowman.......!

Do it for you, Kev and the kids......you need to sit and have a serious chat.

 

[Mini]

Hi Karen,

I was about 14 years when my parents were thinking about it and I and my siblings who knew about it were excited and looking forward to the adventure.

Children are very adaptable and new experience are exciting and wonderful.

They probably will excel at school as they will be so advanced

Love Mini xxx

 

[Karen]

well my mum certainly is a piece of work but i know its just fear. the only thing she really has in her life r the kids and she is absolutely mortified at the idea of not having them around. dad will take it as badly though he will not react quite as badly lol. I dont think i will mention it to them again unless we decide to go for definate. i doubt anything would happen for at least a year and we r going out in november so the kids can have a better idea of what they wanna do after they have spent some time there.

 

[Karen]

thats very true mini! i dont think they start school properly til they r about 6? my 6 yr old daughter would wipe the floor with them as she started a few months after her 4th birthday!

 

[Karen]

the other nice thing is that i would still have minis though i doubt i would be able to manage very many meets lol

 

[sonkie]

well my mum certainly is a piece of work but i know its just fear. the only thing she really has in her life r the kids and she is absolutely mortified at the idea of not having them around. dad will take it as badly though he will not react quite as badly lol. I dont think i will mention it to them again unless we decide to go for definate. i doubt anything would happen for at least a year and we r going out in november so the kids can have a better idea of what they wanna do after they have spent some time there.

That is a brilliant idea, I forgot you were going in november.....oooooo will there be snow ?

 

[Karen]

most likely! tends to snow from october to march eekk!!

 

[Karen]

one of the most amazing things i have seen was when i went over and saw lake superior frozen over. dunno what u know about the lake but u cant see across it. its 32000 square miles so all u can see is what looks like a frozen sea!!

 

[sonkie]

one of the most amazing things i have seen was when i went over and saw lake superior frozen over. dunno what u know about the lake but u cant see across it. its 32000 square miles so all u can see is what looks like a frozen sea!!

Yeh I know its huge but the whole thing freezes over .....omg how cool, ice skating and building snowmen......im in heaven

 

[Karen]

well i dunno if the whole thing freezing but for as far as the eye can see it does. we stayed in a log cabin just yards from the edge of it. gorgeous!!