Yes, I could go on about the scientific basis for naturally skinny people just happening to be blessed in terms of hormones and other genetic quirks of circumstance but I shan't.
What I will say is I'd like to punch anyone who has ever told me to 'just eat less, move more' or that dieting just takes willpower. I did a VLCD for several months - I'd like to see most of them manage to stop eating for that long. It's not willpower it's a life of self denial and the knowledge that our bodies won't regulate themselves in the way that naturally skinny people's bodies tend do. We have to regulate ourselves, for life, and while the brain is smarter than the body, the body is the one with those chemical imbalances and ancient animal cravings.
For me though it kind of is my head. I know carby things make me feel bad. The food I eat now is tasty and doesn't make me feel ill. That should be the end of the discussion, yes? Except that my brain is still that little fat girl at school who just wants to be normal but isn't because of how big she is, who sees that difference compounded upon daily by not being allowed sweets or crisps while everyone else has them at break, and so buys too many on the few occasions she gets the chance and eats them in secret. To feel normal. To get to be like everyone else. Ridiculous isn't it.
Anyway - am not off plan or anything. Just was trying to figure out what I'm going to eat at the Paralympics (thinking probably chicken and salad to take in and maybe a burger without the bun while there) and my mum (only my parents know I'm dieting) telling me I should just 'have a day to eat what you like, it's a day out'.
I'd love to.
I would love to.
But it will likely put my weight loss back a week if I do.
I was very tempted but I think I'm just going to do my best to stay on plan. I want to be thin more than I want an ice cream. Above all I want to get the the point where I can fricking relax about food enough to have an ice cream if I want and not have to worry.
/end giant ramble.