My Diary - 2013

[emmaedes]

Hi Emma,

All good ta.. Woke up in me horrors and can't snap outta them.. But that's just me having a bad day... Nothing wrong in particular.. Been lashing snow here and bloody freezing!! Burrrrr...
How are you lovely lady? Hows the Paul McKenna book going for you? Sorry not been on yer diary.. Not really been on here at all over the weekend.. Being crap support the last week.. sorry
Any news? xxs

aw bless you! its monday.....put it down to that!! its snowing here too and freezing! not nice at all!!! and on a monday.....seriously?!

im ok thanks hun! very tired i too had a hectic weekend and wasnt on here at all so no apologies needed.....otherwise i need to apologise too!!! yer its working well need a refresher now i think so i must listen to the audio!! can weigh in from Tues onwards if i like but not sure if i want too tbh! maybe on friday im not sure yet.

not much happening with me! me and Steve sorted out our cars this weekend.....he has one and i have one....he NEVER uses his yet is paying for it so we are giving both ours back and getting a new one in a few months time. worked money out and this will save us £350 a month! so thats good!

How about you? whats new? xxxx

 

[Dubchick81]

aw bless you! its monday.....put it down to that!! its snowing here too and freezing! not nice at all!!! and on a monday.....seriously?!

im ok thanks hun! very tired i too had a hectic weekend and wasnt on here at all so no apologies needed.....otherwise i need to apologise too!!! yer its working well need a refresher now i think so i must listen to the audio!! can weigh in from Tues onwards if i like but not sure if i want too tbh! maybe on friday im not sure yet.

not much happening with me! me and Steve sorted out our cars this weekend.....he has one and i have one....he NEVER uses his yet is paying for it so we are giving both ours back and getting a new one in a few months time. worked money out and this will save us £350 a month! so thats good!

How about you? whats new? xxxx

Oh that's good ins't it?! Every little helps n all that.. God, that's allot of money to save.. How come you're getting a new one tho? Didn't you only just get a new one? Wouldn't that have done you both n split the repayments as it'd be both of yours to use??
God I've love a new car.. Tho I'm thinking of selling mine now again and being motorless Don't want to but the extension is costing a bomb and its gona start now cutting into Jono's savings... So I need to be able give more.. The plan was for me to continue paying off my loans and getting debt free and then repaying Jono half of anything he spends.. But seems that's too long winded now and Jono would rather see money sooner. So the only I can do that is to sell my car and am hoping to get a second job too.. We'll have NO time together as no doubt when i'm not working I'll be either showering or sleeping but its only way to get extra cash.. Oh well.. Thems the brakes And it won't be forever (I hope)

 

[emmaedes]

Oh that's good ins't it?! Every little helps n all that.. God, that's allot of money to save.. How come you're getting a new one tho? Didn't you only just get a new one? Wouldn't that have done you both n split the repayments as it'd be both of yours to use??
God I've love a new car.. Tho I'm thinking of selling mine now again and being motorless Don't want to but the extension is costing a bomb and its gona start now cutting into Jono's savings... So I need to be able give more.. The plan was for me to continue paying off my loans and getting debt free and then repaying Jono half of anything he spends.. But seems that's too long winded now and Jono would rather see money sooner. So the only I can do that is to sell my car and am hoping to get a second job too.. We'll have NO time together as no doubt when i'm not working I'll be either showering or sleeping but its only way to get extra cash.. Oh well.. Thems the brakes And it won't be forever (I hope)

well we could have kept my car but dont like it anymore, so means we can both give back our cars get a car we both like AND save £350 a month! suits me!

ooo no thats rubbish !! can you not just split the payments between loans and Jono? then he gets money back and loans paid off too ? or is that not enough? money is rubbish isnt it! but tbh im happy that we havent REALLY struggled since moving out, i just worry about money all the time but thats just me xxxx

 

[Dubchick81]

well we could have kept my car but dont like it anymore, so means we can both give back our cars get a car we both like AND save £350 a month! suits me!

ooo no thats rubbish !! can you not just split the payments between loans and Jono? then he gets money back and loans paid off too ? or is that not enough? money is rubbish isnt it! but tbh im happy that we havent REALLY struggled since moving out, i just worry about money all the time but thats just me xxxx

Well you see we split the mortgage and bills (gas, electric, shopping & internet) 50/50... Then I have a HUGE personal loan that I pay, plus i'm clearing my credit card... So by time I've paid all that, and run my car I'm left with little or nothing...
My loan is a set amount per month which can't be changed, I thought it was finished this May/June but now I'm thinking its not til next May/June So I literally have NO extra money to give him so the only way is to get a second job and sell the car.. The car won't get much at all as its a heap of junk!! But at least it'd be something you know... He hasn't asked outright for this to happen but he said something yesterday.. Not to be mean or nasty but made me feel like a money grabber.. And I will not have him think that of me so if he wants his money, he'll get it!

 

[emmaedes]

Well you see we split the mortgage and bills (gas, electric, shopping & internet) 50/50... Then I have a HUGE personal loan that I pay, plus i'm clearing my credit card... So by time I've paid all that, and run my car I'm left with little or nothing...
My loan is a set amount per month which can't be changed, I thought it was finished this May/June but now I'm thinking its not til next May/June So I literally have NO extra money to give him so the only way is to get a second job and sell the car.. The car won't get much at all as its a heap of junk!! But at least it'd be something you know... He hasn't asked outright for this to happen but he said something yesterday.. Not to be mean or nasty but made me feel like a money grabber.. And I will not have him think that of me so if he wants his money, he'll get it!

oo i see!! we are the same, split everything 50:50 steve earns about £200 extra than me a month and i had about £300 extra bills so therefore i was skint! however he has now paid off one of my loans that accounts for £150 a month i had to pay so thats great, now when we have the £750 left its like £300 is my left over and his is £450! but thats just where he earns more but we just see it as "our" money now.

i know what you mean tho! i HATE steve paying for things and i feel like he pays for alot when in reality he doesnt care and he see's it as "our" money too!

that job might help though and will help you pay things off faster which will obviously be such a good thing! have you started looking? xxxx

 

[Dubchick81]

oo i see!! we are the same, split everything 50:50 steve earns about £200 extra than me a month and i had about £300 extra bills so therefore i was skint! however he has now paid off one of my loans that accounts for £150 a month i had to pay so thats great, now when we have the £750 left its like £300 is my left over and his is £450! but thats just where he earns more but we just see it as "our" money now.

i know what you mean tho! i HATE steve paying for things and i feel like he pays for alot when in reality he doesnt care and he see's it as "our" money too!

that job might help though and will help you pay things off faster which will obviously be such a good thing! have you started looking? xxxx

Yea see we have a joint account, and our own accounts.. So we agreed an amount to transfer in each month that will cover all our bills and food n that, and then whatever else we have is our own business..
I have NO idea what Jono has or earns and he'd have no clue what I do.. He also has NO clue as to what I owe or what other bills I have.. And that's the way I like it! My business is my business and his business is his business..
This sounds jibberish to all my friends as none of them get wehre I'm coming from. But I was brought up with my Mam having nothing and having to "ask" my Dad for money for even a pair of shoes if she wanted them.. So I always said I will have my own money and my own bank account. No man will ever be accountable for what I spend. Jono wouldn't be mean at all and if I asked for help he'd give it in a heartbeat, no questions.. But I won't have it that way...
I got myself into debt, and I'll get myself out of it... I know how ridiculous it sounds believe me, but that's just me

No not started looking yet.. I only decided it last night so I need to get working on doing up my CV and then I'll get it out there... I wreckon it'll be difficult to find something for evenings and weekends only tho.. But here's hoping.. Something cash in hand would be great but we'll see... It'll be tough on our relationship too but hey ho... Bills to be paid

 

[emmaedes]

Yea see we have a joint account, and our own accounts.. So we agreed an amount to transfer in each month that will cover all our bills and food n that, and then whatever else we have is our own business..
I have NO idea what Jono has or earns and he'd have no clue what I do.. He also has NO clue as to what I owe or what other bills I have.. And that's the way I like it! My business is my business and his business is his business..
This sounds jibberish to all my friends as none of them get wehre I'm coming from. But I was brought up with my Mam having nothing and having to "ask" my Dad for money for even a pair of shoes if she wanted them.. So I always said I will have my own money and my own bank account. No man will ever be accountable for what I spend. Jono wouldn't be mean at all and if I asked for help he'd give it in a heartbeat, no questions.. But I won't have it that way...
I got myself into debt, and I'll get myself out of it... I know how ridiculous it sounds believe me, but that's just me

No not started looking yet.. I only decided it last night so I need to get working on doing up my CV and then I'll get it out there... I wreckon it'll be difficult to find something for evenings and weekends only tho.. But here's hoping.. Something cash in hand would be great but we'll see... It'll be tough on our relationship too but hey ho... Bills to be paid

yer we are the same, joint account where all bills come out etc and our own accounts too. He knows what i earn and i know his but we HAD to know that through the mortgage application anyway. and i suppose we just see it as our income BUT i spend my money, he spends his. I see what you mean with your mum etc and agree ! would never want to have to do that. But if he has to pay something unexpected or me then each help. not really ever been an issue. but sort of see what you mean to a point.

thats good, might as well look, no harm yer cash in hand would be so good!! im sure you two will get through it! and like you said! its not forever is it xxxx

 

[Dubchick81]

yer we are the same, joint account where all bills come out etc and our own accounts too. He knows what i earn and i know his but we HAD to know that through the mortgage application anyway. and i suppose we just see it as our income BUT i spend my money, he spends his. I see what you mean with your mum etc and agree ! would never want to have to do that. But if he has to pay something unexpected or me then each help. not really ever been an issue. but sort of see what you mean to a point.

thats good, might as well look, no harm yer cash in hand would be so good!! im sure you two will get through it! and like you said! its not forever is it xxxx

It wud make it easier if he knew how little I'm left with after I've paid everything out but I'm as stubborn as a mule n won't let him kno that. I feel such an idiot when I discuss how stupid I've been loans/debts wise. Especially to him as he's never had any sort of credit/loan until the getting the mortgage. EVER! He has a credit card but has ALWAYS cleared it as soon as the bill came in.

 

[emmaedes]

It wud make it easier if he knew how little I'm left with after I've paid everything out but I'm as stubborn as a mule n won't let him kno that. I feel such an idiot when I discuss how stupid I've been loans/debts wise. Especially to him as he's never had any sort of credit/loan until the getting the mortgage. EVER! He has a credit card but has ALWAYS cleared it as soon as the bill came in.

yep we are the same, me with the debt. Steve without anything except credit cards that he pays. But i get really worked up over how stupid i have been and how little money i have and he HATES seeing me that upset over something he could easily help with xxx

 

[Dubchick81]

yep we are the same, me with the debt. Steve without anything except credit cards that he pays. But i get really worked up over how stupid i have been and how little money i have and he HATES seeing me that upset over something he could easily help with xxx

I'm the same.. I went to bed early lastnight coz I was stressing and didn't want him to see, coz he'd ask what was up n I won't tell him.
I do have myself sick with worry sometimes and it does no good.. I mean, me stressing doesn't pay the bill!!! If only it was that easy to understand when the panic sets in tho...
Jono has NO IDEA what bills I have and I won't tell him. Its my problem.. I'll deal with it... What a pathetic way to look at things??!!!!
I know if it ever gets too much my Dad will be there to help and Jono will still be none the wiser. I couldn't bring myself to ask for his help, or accept it.. My Dad wud lend me the money and I could take 20 years to pay it back.. He'd never mention it and I'd know it was a loan that I will pay back so I don't feel such a failure.. I know its stupid reasoning.. But that's how I am

I've made a new rule for myself.. I'm not going to buy any new clothes/shoes until my Littlewoods account is back at €0
No eating out with friends mid week for no reason.. No nights out.. Until I am financially OK.. It'll be the pitz and I'll feel deprived but its my own fault. When I have paid Jono off and am in debt to no-one I can buy all the nice things I want.. But until the, tough titty! I have a house to furnish and decorate and that's my main concern.. And if my friends have a problem with it, they're not really friends then are they?!!

 

[emmaedes]

I'm the same.. I went to bed early lastnight coz I was stressing and didn't want him to see, coz he'd ask what was up n I won't tell him.
I do have myself sick with worry sometimes and it does no good.. I mean, me stressing doesn't pay the bill!!! If only it was that easy to understand when the panic sets in tho...
Jono has NO IDEA what bills I have and I won't tell him. Its my problem.. I'll deal with it... What a pathetic way to look at things??!!!!
I know if it ever gets too much my Dad will be there to help and Jono will still be none the wiser. I couldn't bring myself to ask for his help, or accept it.. My Dad wud lend me the money and I could take 20 years to pay it back.. He'd never mention it and I'd know it was a loan that I will pay back so I don't feel such a failure.. I know its stupid reasoning.. But that's how I am

I've made a new rule for myself.. I'm not going to buy any new clothes/shoes until my Littlewoods account is back at €0
No eating out with friends mid week for no reason.. No nights out.. Until I am financially OK.. It'll be the pitz and I'll feel deprived but its my own fault. When I have paid Jono off and am in debt to no-one I can buy all the nice things I want.. But until the, tough titty! I have a house to furnish and decorate and that's my main concern.. And if my friends have a problem with it, they're not really friends then are they?!!

yer see im the opposite i would never go to my mum or dad for help after moving out cos i'd feel like id failed........its strange isnt it how everyones views are different but i do totally get where you are coming from though not wanting Jono to know! i know !!! i wish if stress solved debts id make money haha!

yes!!!! exactly!!! i know what you mean!! no going out, no clothes, if i cant afford to buy something with cash..........no buy!!! no credit cards or Next accounts!!! i think im going to draw money out too like £50 a week and then only spend petrol on my card! better way to track it for me! i get card happy otherwise lol

and thats so true!! if your friends get annoyed then your right, they cant be great friends! xxx

 

[Dubchick81]

Ahh frances i totally get where your coming from. Me and the oh had a flat last year (privte renting tho) we had to give me it up because of my debts its nice to see that im not the only one going through it. I suppose it can only get better going forward xx

I do feel so stupid when someone asks what loans I've got. I felt like such a kn0b when we went to the bank to apply for the mortgage and she asked what debts we had outstanding.. I like I have this, that, and the other and then she asked my BF and he was like, "eh, i've none!" Honestly, if ever I wanted the ground to open up, it was that moment!!

yer see im the opposite i would never go to my mum or dad for help after moving out cos i'd feel like id failed........its strange isnt it how everyones views are different but i do totally get where you are coming from though not wanting Jono to know! i know !!! i wish if stress solved debts id make money haha!

yes!!!! exactly!!! i know what you mean!! no going out, no clothes, if i cant afford to buy something with cash..........no buy!!! no credit cards or Next accounts!!! i think im going to draw money out too like £50 a week and then only spend petrol on my card! better way to track it for me! i get card happy otherwise lol

and thats so true!! if your friends get annoyed then your right, they cant be great friends! xxx

I'm the opposite.. I can go to my Dad with anything at all and not feel judged (I am 110% not saying your parents would ever judge you.. this is just me and how I feel about it) but as much as I know Jonathan wouldn't judge me, I'd feel judged! And I'd feel a let down/failure/thick... the list of names I feel is endless...
Like, now I'm not too bad on the debts front.. But I have been bad in the past.. So bad I've been down the road of loan sharks n all... Just coz I wanted everything and I wanted it NOW.. Not put money aside and pay something outright.. I was never taught to save as a kid and everything came easy. So I never understood its importance...

 

[Baby-belle]

I do feel so stupid when someone asks what loans I've got. I felt like such a kn0b when we went to the bank to apply for the mortgage and she asked what debts we had outstanding.. I like I have this, that, and the other and then she asked my BF and he was like, "eh, i've none!" Honestly, if ever I wanted the ground to open up, it was that moment!!

I'm the opposite.. I can go to my Dad with anything at all and not feel judged (I am 110% not saying your parents would ever judge you.. this is just me and how I feel about it) but as much as I know Jonathan wouldn't judge me, I'd feel judged! And I'd feel a let down/failure/thick... the list of names I feel is endless...
Like, now I'm not too bad on the debts front.. But I have been bad in the past.. So bad I've been down the road of loan sharks n all... Just coz I wanted everything and I wanted it NOW.. Not put money aside and pay something outright.. I was never taught to save as a kid and everything came easy. So I never understood its importance...

It will be the same as me I have quite a few and my oh has none!

 

[Dubchick81]

It will be the same as me I have quite a few and my oh has none!

D'ya know what?? I love this site... I always thought I was the only THICK that got themselves into massive debt with not allot to show for it...
Its funny how you realise most people are actually in the same position...
One thing is for certain tho.. My kids (if ever I'm blessed enough to having any) will be thought the value of money and the importance of savings from the very get go... I have learnt from my mistakes and am STILL paying for them (literally) YEARS later...
Allot my debt is down to bailing out my ex n loaning him money.. He was a gambler tho I didn't realise how into it he was at the time... Love is not only blind but its stupid as f*ck as well!!

 

[Dubchick81]

I wish i had someone who would bail me out unfortunately the amount its at now its just a dream. Lol I will teach my childen too Im the sane as you when I was a child anything i wanted I got which is probably why Im in this position x

In fairness to our parents tho I think it was the time we were brought up.. Everything came easy so they wanted to make us happy.. Tho sadly its not done us any favours.. Boo to the Celtic Tiger!!
I think I've only a year left of my bank loan, but I thought that was up this summer and I'vea bout a grand left on my credit card to pay off.. Then (minus my mortgage!) I'm debt free.. Except to pay back half of whatever is spent on the house!! But that's OK coz i'll have a nice house to show for it..
Ugh... stress about money SUCKS BALLS!!!!

 

[Dubchick81]

I should be size zero from the the stress... I'm not even a person that turns to food when i'm stressed.. In fact i'm the opposite.. I feel so sick when am stressed that I cant eat.. So I should be a right skinny minny

 

[Dubchick81]

Just found my loan agreement papers and I've 16 months repayments left Totalling €6624.48 Could actually cry right now

 

[emmaedes]

dont worry! your dealing with it. your managing your monthly payments, theres not much more you can do. honestly stressing as you know wont solve it, maybe talk to your dad? if you dont get the second job xxx

 

[Baby-belle]

It's good your getting it sorted though hunny you will feel so much better after I have ignored my debt for years! And will continue to I have paid the main one but my credit rating is bad now because I was young stupid and got stung for debt from an ex but I am just trying to concentrate on the future

 

[Mrsm79]

Look into your loan and see if you've paid PLP private loan protection. Sometimes it's added to loans without you realising and you're intitled to it back. I'd had a loan for about 12 years which I'd had PLP added to and I got 7 grand back.