my diary ~ no more CD for me

[Isobel1965]

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well done, honey - that's fantastic!!!!!!!

I'm so jealous of you going oot on the toon the neet!! Have a brilliant time, hun! I bet you'll look fantastic and it's so funny watching everyone else get drunk while you're glugging the water!!!

Have fun!!!

 

[kati]

thanks everyone, last night was much better than a usual night out, but I still felt a mess in what I wore. I didn't touch a drop of alcohol but I feel like I have a terrible hangover this morning. It must be off all the smoke. My throat is really sore today and I'm so hungry, having a peppermint tea to try and get rid of the hunger and will have some hot chocolate in a bit.

Last nght didn't cost me a penny (apart from petrol) so that was good, my friend must have spent a fortune though she was having wine and rum all night (not in the same glass) and she paid for me to get into buffalo joes. There was a man in there I thought I'd managed to get away from months ago because he lost his phone along with my number. So he kept trying it on, he's one of these people that seriously doesn't take no for an answer. He trapped me on the stairs and wouldn't let me go home till a bouncer came and saved me phew! There was another man there who I was seeing for a while a couple of years ago, he decided he's going to give me his number and wants me to see him occasionally but he's living with someone so I wont be ringing him.

11 stone 11 today, all the dancing must have paid off! I hope I don't get too bored and give into temptation today since im alone with nowhere to go. I refuse to do any more shopping! So today is just me and doggy time. It's a nice day so I'll take him out for a long walk.

 

[kati]

I'm suddenly in questioning mode (sorry-I've turned into Jeremy Paxman...I think it's cos I'm doing this to myself too- so feel free to ignore me and tell me to mind my own!!) and wondered if you think you could ask yourself this question as an experiment. You've mentioned that you think blokes have liked your boobs, but sometimes you felt like that was the major thing for them. Okay- just think about you and what you like- what would be your own ideal boob size/shape? How would YOU like to see yourself? It might not lead to any profound insight, but you might find you've never really thought about it, just in terms of your own likes and dislikes before.

Right- I'll take me and my questions away now- in summary have a fantastic night!!

In answer to this, I never really thought how I'd like them to be. They've always been big so I've never imagined them any other way. I was a 32F at one point that I remember before I put on loads of weight, that was the frst time I got properly measured so dont know what I was before that. So if they completely disappeared that would be a bit weird but I'd rather they didn't stay that big. You always look bigger everywhere when you have big boobs than you do if they're small

 

[kati]

not doing very well today, it's 3 30 pm and haven't even had 1 litre of water yet. Plus the dog just nicked £50 out of my jewellery box and ate it grrrrrrr.

I've just wanted to sleep today after I got back from taking the dog out. Thats just what I do when I'm feeling really really down, you don't need to face the world when you're in bed. I need to snap myself out of it and get back on track with doing things right, I don't want to end up eating again because of this

 

[kati]

still 11 11 today but feeling a lot more positive today. I can actually sit in the bath and not have to move so the water can get behind me. It's great (skinny bath).

Was invited out for dinner today, dont know if he was serious or not but told him I'm on a diet so can't drink and can only eat dust lol. I don't think he took me seriously somehow hmm. Anyway, he did invite me out sometime through the week but I have the kids her all week which is why he suggested dinner today. then he decided he wanted to come after the kids go to bed through the week, even saying bedtime was 10 o clock didn't put him off. Strange man. going out for sunday dinner would be lovely I can just imagine how it would taste, but that is what I've been fighting with my mother against for 2 weeks so wont give in now.

I really need to tidy up today it's such a mess in here. I might get round to it eventually, hopefully before the kids get back. Hopefully Mr Impatient wont come and drag me out somewhere for dinner either.

i think I've had about a litre and a half so far and a toffee bar. I tried having half of a bar and leaving the rest but I knew it was there open and it was calling to me to eat it so I had to do it. i don't know whether to split my next pack or not, it wont be so bad hen the kids are home as it was yesterday when it was just me the cat and dog all day. I get bored without the kids here.

 

[kati]

ooh forgot to sayI decided in my boredom to try on some clothes last night. I have this satin dress I wore for my 21st birthday and I decided to try it on. The bottom half fit great but my boobs are still too bi to get it fastened. However, the zip is really stiff and it's at the side so I don't know if I'd get it fastened if someone else was there to fasten it for me. I could just hold the material together where the zip is. Oh well maybe in a few weeks I might get it fastened. I also found a size 14 skirt I've never been able to get into since I got it 10 years ago, well I got it on but cant fasten the zip on it. so that is my new aim. My ultimate aim of the clothes I have is a red skirt I used to wear all the time. I disticntly remember wearing it when I was 4 months pregnant with my first son, then could never get it on again after he was born. The label on it says it is a 14 but I suspect its more of a 12. I measured the waist on it and i is 6 inches smaller than the size 16 skirt I was aiming to get into. surely 6 inches between sizes isn't normal?

I tried on a size 18 top I wore a little while ago and it was hanging off me so theres no way I could wear that again, yay!

Funnily enough I have no size 12 clothes in my wardrobe, so once i'm at that stage I'm going to have to buy something to aim to get into.

 

[kazz]

Kati, ur doing ace hun!! I know wat you mean about the skirts...I have a black leather mini that I used to be able to wear when I met my daughters 'father' and I would looooove to be able to wear it again....even though I now feel too old but to have it look nice on would be ace!!

So this new fella eh.....wat time's he on his way at!? lol

 

[kati]

lol I saw him for a couple of hours earlier, don't know when it might happen again we'll see. He certainly couldn't ever be "the one" for me, he let a lot slip that I didn't like about how he cheated throughout the whole of his 10 year marriage so how could I ever trust him after that. He said he liked me because I was the first person to turn him down because he was married (last summer) hmmm they apparently split up not long after that.

I fell asleep a little while ago and woke up absolutely ravenous. Omg I've never felt so hungry for ages. I really needed something to actually eat so i tried making some crisps with a strawberry shake, big mistake had to throw them out. Then I remembered isobel said if I really really need something to eat then have some wafer thin ham or something like that so I had a few slices of that. Then I decided to have a frozen tetra as that would be the next bes thing to "eat". It did take me a long time to finish it but as soon as my mouth thawed out the craving has returned. aaargh!!!! so now I'm sipping on peppermint tea like mad because I've already had everything for the day and thats all thats left other than plain water.

I'm soooo hungry!

 

[kazz]

I know where ur coming from Kati...when people have cheated before u just know the chances of them cheatin on you are pretty high! But then again, at least it would be a challenge to tame him lol

No tips on the hunger, I drank buckets of peppermint tea yesterday as well hun...wat time are ur kids back at? Maybe try for an early night to sleep away the hunger!!

 

[kati]

it might be a challenge to tame someone like that but it's one of those things you could never know if you've succeeded or not unless you're together 24/7 which would drive me mad. I can do better than him I'm sure.

I ate a bit of chicken now I'm not hungry anymore. I know I shouldn't have but at least it shouldnt knock me out of ketosis and doesn't have too many calories. I'm supposed to start my AAM week on tuesday so maybe I should just do it from today till next weekend instead.

Oh and the kids should be home any time now. I hope their dad doesn't decide to come in with them I can't be bothered with him now

 

[kazz]

course ye can do better than him hun, who wants to be worrying about wat their OH could be up to anyways!?

cant give ye any input about the AAM...only to say my cdc told me that if I needed to have a lunch or something wirh work etc, that I could take it out of my AAM week when I get there...but I couldn tell ye if thats good advice or not!!

 

[kati]

thanks anyway, I go to see mine in the morning so will talk about it then.

It's not very good if I keep going for 2 weeks then eat every time. Still losing weight but it's going to be slow.

 

[Isobel1965]

Sweetie - if a bit of chicken keeps you on the straight and narrow, then have it. It won't knock you out of ketosis unless it's KFC!!! lol

You're doing brilliantly and I'm looking forward to seeing how well you've done tomorrow! (No pressure though! lol)

Oh and dump the player! lol - he won't be worth the aggro, hun!

xxxxxxxxx

 

[kati]

thanks Isobel the chicken was the only thing i could think of that I could have, and I really needed something hot.

I think the player will definately have to be dumped lol just as you say, he's not good enough for me!

I got on my scales earlier and got all excited and confused cos they said 11 stone 8, I was thinking I can't have loat that much since this morning so i got off and got back on still 11 8, got off and on again, still 11 8 I thought wow maybe it is right. So, I went and put my dressing gown on and got back on the scales and it went to 12 1 I was gutted lol. I took the dressing gown off and got back on and it was 11 13. Oh well, I was 11 stone 8 for a couple of minutes anyway. Don't know whats going on with my scales.

I now have a big dry patch of skin on my cheek which isn't good. with all the water I've been drinking that shouldn't have happened so I wonder whats caused it.

 

[kati]

ok so at my official weigh in today I have lost 3lbs would have loved 4 but 3 is great. I've been losing inches too which made me feel a bit better. I never really measured myself properly before to compare measurements, ok i did a bit but could never remember properly what the previous measurement was.

I think, if I can manage it, I might try not to weigh myself for a week then it'll be a surprise when I get weighed next monday. However it's AAM week and I'm worried that I won't lose anything this week. So i might have to still weigh myself so if I'm eating too much then I'll know because the scales wont move.

I have bought some scales to keep an eye on portion sizes. tomorrow I'll have to buy some food though.

I did go to Isobels feeling quite fed up wth myself this morning, especially after eating last night but left feeling quite happy. I had my first AAM meal today and got it at work so people could see me actually having something to eat and will stop moaning at me for not eating. I had lettuce cucumber and cottage cheese. It was nice but would have loved more of it. Had my other 3 packs too.

Ooh and i get sick of getting up to make more pepprmint tea so found a huge cup in asda and bought that. It was one of tose gift sets filled with cappuccin and latte and a big biscuit and a little silver whisk for mixing the coffees. the cup holds a pint which is fantastic! and the whisk I could take with me and use if I need to make a soup or anything up anywhere other than at home with my blender. perfect.

Also in asda I discovered dark chocolate flakes. OMG I soooo wanted one. Someone PLEASE tell me they're not limited edition ones and will still be around when I'm finished my diet, please.... I love flakes and I looove dark chocolate both together would be like heaven mmmm. I got my son one and left him to it to eat it, he hasn't mentioned how nice it was or anything thankfully.

 

[KateF]

Well done on the 3 pounds!

We're living parallel lives in a way with our 17 pound losses and similar scales and varying degrees of Kate/Kati-ness in Newcastle with Isobel as CDC!

The Asda mug sounds like a lovely treat for now- and the choc flake a treat for a time not too long in the distant future when you're eating in real life again!

 

[kati]

We're living parallel lives in a way with our 17 pound losses and similar scales and varying degrees of Kate/Kati-ness in Newcastle with Isobel as CDC!!

lol that is so weird isn't it. We'll be finding out we have the same date of birth next lol. I think I got your share of the kids though and you got my share of the height.

I'm so glad you're not racing ahead of me with your weightloss though otherwise it would get me down as to why I'm not losing that much too, maybe you'd feel the same if I was racing ahead too. The only problem is I have a lot more to lose than you do because of me being short) I'm so glad you recommended Isobel to me though because I feel so much more positive about seeing her than I did about my previous cdc.

 

[kati]

well I'm still 11 stone 11, but thats ok it's not going up. I've got a whole week before my next weigh in so plenty of time to lose more. That cup is too much temptation to fill completely with hot chocolate, so a pack I would normally split I've had all at once. That should be ok for this week since it's aam week and I'll be having extra than I would normally anyway. I really want prawns and asparagus for tea. I'm going to save todays bar to have as a dessert oh actually no its peanut today need to split it so I dont have to have it all in one go. I've tried making a jelly thing for the first time today too. It's in the fridge setting so dont know how thats going to taste. It looks like frothy wallpaper paste at the minute not very appealing lol.

I'm going to be fantasising about prawns and asparagus all day lol, cant wait to get home from the shops tonight.

 

[kati]

I got my prawns and asparagus I bought a steamer and cooked them in there and oh wow it was so fantastic. I dont think I'm going to ever be able to cook it any other way now!!! It was sooo good.

Have only hd 2 packs so far. I'm a bit peckish so might have the other one in a bit when my eldet brat goes to bed. which he should have done an hour ago! grr

I've been so stressed since getting them from school, specially going round the shops. then got home and my scales didnt work cos it never said anywhere on the box that I needed 4 AAA batteries. double grrrrr! so I don't know if I had the right amount of food for my meal I just guessed.

Had a big heart to heart with the bloke who is moving away tonight. It's a shame he is going so far away he is really nice, makes me sad that he is going. I could do with a good cry.

 

[kati]

stll 11 stone 11 today. That 5 days with no change now I hope it changes tomorrow. However after writing a while ago that I dont get TOTM it's decided to rear its ugly head so maybe (hopefully) thats why the scales havent changed.

I've already had at least 4 litres of water today, mostly in the form of peppermint tea and some as berry flavoured water.

I have some chicken and corriander and asparagus and mushrooms in the steamer waiting to be cooked. I think I'll have to cook it soon beause I'm just dying to eat it. I've been looking forward to it all day.

I've felt a bit more energetic today which is good because I really need to clean te house. Oh well must get on.kids are shouting for their tea, they want fish and chips!