nibbling my way thru the queasy!

[Dis]

heheh of course i read your diary before seeing this so its all there in yours.

sadly, i wont be shortening my goal...i think i just might have to lengthen it out a little bit longer. we'll have to see how i look and feel once getting to the original goal of 155/150. hell, even thats not at bmi 25! its only 26...

until then, i'm focusing on going on, despite going thru another "boredom phase".

 

[Sambucca]

Hi Dis

If I shorten my target then I wont get to BMi 25 either, but thats my point exactly. BMI isnt really one size fits all in my opinion. I am still clinically obese but how can that be when I am wearing size 14 clothes. Im not squeezing myself into these clothes either, they are comfortable.

Im 5ft 7 and so I think to get to size 8 or 10 would be too low for me, but I think if I carry on to BMI 25 thats the size I would end up. I would be more than happy to be a comfortable size 12 and I think thats probably 20 - 25lb away from where I am now... so Im not thinking of shortening by a huge amount. Im not really sure what to do at the minute.

 

[kazbro]

morning.
i think this week, ive been feeling fatter than usual. i have been guzzling 4L of water a day (which is 1 more than normal for me). and i still feel so heavy, physically. PLUS i'm having one of those weeks that one feels terribly terribly bored with CD....same o same o liquid lunch, blah blah blah.

::SIGH:::::::::::::::::::::SIGH:::::::::::::::::::::::SIGH:::::::::::::

i'm just telling myself, over and over, that its only thursday morning. i dont weigh in until monday morning...so here's hoping this feeling disappears, PRONTO!!

quitting is not an option.

dis you have hit the nail right on the head
thats exactly how i feel at this time
i know cd is great and i will stay on it but right now my mind is else where and i`m pretty scared that the little voices and stresses of life are going to beat me
had a good chat with my cdc and she has reassured me we reach blips like these but only we can pull our selves together and carry on
i want to get into them 14`s at xmas time so i`m so so fighting the bored feelings
you have done so well so quickly
together we can get through this and if we do give in sam will most certainly kick our butts if we stray :giggle:

keep up the good work dis and hopefully i can get my brain and butt back into the zone
kaz xxx

 

[Sambucca]

and if we do give in sam will most certainly kick our butts if we stray :giggle:

PMSL - too right I will!!

 

[westiegirl]

morning.
i think this week, ive been feeling fatter than usual. i have been guzzling 4L of water a day (which is 1 more than normal for me). and i still feel so heavy, physically. PLUS i'm having one of those weeks that one feels terribly terribly bored with CD....same o same o liquid lunch, blah blah blah.

::SIGH:::::::::::::::::::::SIGH:::::::::::::::::::::::SIGH:::::::::::::

i'm just telling myself, over and over, that its only thursday morning. i dont weigh in until monday morning...so here's hoping this feeling disappears, PRONTO!!

quitting is not an option.


today, i'm getting out of the house for a little bit...heading over to Llandudno on the train with the wee one. we're meeting my mom-in-law for a little bit of shopping for fynns bday. plus i'm going to pop into the huge asda there to see about contacts and or glasses. i've been dealing with specsavers over the last 4 months and they have been NOTHING BUT HASSLE for me. 4 Months , and i STILL dont have new glasses or contacts.
i dont even want to get into it, but they are so effing irritating, and not so sufficient in customer service AT ALL. ((sorry if any of you are employed by them, not meaning to affend, perhaps its just my local branch but its been enough to put me off for good)).

and with that out of my system,
eeeexxxxhhhhaaaaaaaaale.
i feel that much better already. still feel super heavy and fat, but feel better about not being able to see properly. hehehe

righty, must get up and get ready for the day. hope you all are doing well.

Hi Dis

Just reading your title made me laugh this evening. I'm the same on CD at the moment, blah blah blah, same old same old for me too!

Hope you had a lovely day in sunny Llandudno. I do love this town I live in! Hope you got your glasses sorted. My work mate's partner is getting glasses from there and he has had a really good experience, so fingers crossed you do too.

Hope you have a good weekend xxx

 

[jane]

Dear old Dis not posted on here for a while but just wanted to say how I love your titles. A way with words you have.

Still, I'm glad you didn't put fynn into suspenders for the do!

 

[Sambucca]

Dis, Ive been meaning to ask for a couple of days. What does Dicombobulated mean??

 

[Dis]

heheh hiya sam...
discombobulated means like being put into confusion...all disarray.

((diary update in a little mo...gotta sort out the little one first. see you all later!))

 

[Dis]

ok. so i was slightly reluctant to mention this here, as i had already discussed with another SSer. but i've decided to own up to my failure and just...well...let it all out. everyone else does. why should i be any different? right?

well, to start, i ate my 1 planned meal...anniversary. we did the local indian. err, you know what i mean! anyways, i ordered something that wasnt sloppy with greasy curry...and i didnt touch the naan or popadums, etc. just stuck to half the portion i ordered. and you know what? it really was plenty! i was stuffed. and i did enjoy it. now...the reallll damage was yesterday. fynns birthday lunch with the in laws. i left my tetra and water at home, and when we got there, i crumbled...

i ordered something that was not even worth breaking it over. i had to add salt and even still, it was bland. the plain green salad was soo much better. better than the roasted butternut sqaush & brie quiche tart. i didnt finish it. i even had a small glass of white. needless to say, i was in a bad mood with myself the rest of the day. so because of this, or rather, because of myself, i ruined my good time and i wasnt at my best for my baby's "first" 1st party. he opened a couple gifts and had the chocolate cake i made for him. ((i avoided that like the plague though))

((oh and i have to mention the best part of yesterday...))
fynn was wearing all white linen clothes and i put him on a white sheet and plonked a massive piece of cake in front of him, he went nuts with it. and of course, we had like 3 cameras on him so we're not short of having the perfect series oh photos to blow up and frame. i'm uploading them now...ahhh i cant wait to properly vew them.

righty, on with the weigh in. ((i have been so ashamed with myself that i wasnt even going to bother with it)) but i did anyways. and as of this morning, i am 3 lbs....Heavier. :cry::cry:
again, i know its not a total surprise.

sooo...this morning, i'm back in the saddle , again. i've had shake number 1. and am working on my 1st 2L of water.

And to my other CD/SS pals who've been having issues this last week, Are you Joining me back on the wagon or what?!?!?1

 

[kazbro]

yes dis most definetly back on the wagon
although i didn`t really fall off but still gaines 4lbs last week

so heres to a good week of ss and many more pounds of flesh dropping off
kaz

 

[Sambucca]

aww Dis,

Glad you decided to fess up. the 3lbs will be water and will be off as easy as it went on. Glad you enjoyed the anniversary meal and Fynns party.

I lost the plot last night with the diet and raided the biccies after posting about how I wasnt going to. And Ive just had a chocolate penguin biscuit this morning. I dont know what has got into me. I just keep eating random crap for no good reason. Im just bored bored bored with the whole CD thing at the minute and I think this is me rebelling.

Oh well. Hope you manage to get back in the saddle Dis.

 

[Dub07]

Dis
with his mama the uber-cake-maker, the baby-dude couldn't help BUT love his cake, eh? And it's only once that your eldest is one year old.

Love your diary, but it makes my tum rumble.

 

[Dis]

hangin with my birthday boy...

goood morning everyone. i only have a minute to write so this will be short. ((gotta take fynn off to the mommy toddler playgroup)).

righty, the gain i caused myself last week has vanished overnight, all down to a good hard day of SS. so, to make myself feel better, i've adjusted my ticker to reflect that i'm back to where i was last week.

it will be another SS day for me today. even though the weather is rubbish, i'm going to try to go into town and look around for something (not overpriced!!) that i can wear to this wedding reception over the weekend. i tried on a skirt that i wore last april to a funeral, but that fell right off even with it all buttoned and zipped up. its a great thing, i know. but at the same time, im sort of cringing that i have to spend more money this week. ((with bdays and anniversaries, i'm running very dry here) heheh

anyways, i'll make do. see what i can find in the shops.

alrighty, i can hear fynn bouncing around in his cot so i better get him ready to go.

oh bugger. of course i have to leave the house (walking!!) in a few, and its pissing down now. i just need like a ten minute break in this mess to make it to the school! :sigh:

no worries.

you all take care of yourselves today.
will catch up later!!

((kaz & sam, stick with me on the SS today, ladies!!))

(Dub, ooooOOOoo the smell of the baking cakes in y house always makes the tummy rumbly))

 

[Hedgemag]

Well done Dis..your a star...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO FYNN...Give him a ((((hug)))) from me.xxxxxx
Have a good day and keep focused..you will do it..

 

[jane]

Good show Dis you may have fallen but you were back up on the horse the next morning. Risking sounding a bit sanctimonious I sometimes think we learn more that way than by living squeeky clean.
Glad the party was a success & if the fab new avatar is anything to go by then you have a beautiful baby boy & a fabulous stack of pics to process.

Glad your skirt fell off.

 

[Dis]

good morning everyone.
just popping in to say all is going well, so far, since getting back on track (again). i sneaked a peek on the scales first thing this morning and ...i think there's a possibility that i'm in the 170's now!!! even if its 178 , i dont care. i jsut cant believe that i'm this much lighter.

ive still got a ways to go. but i'm just..well, in awe that i'm accomplishing something here, instead of failing like every other diet i've done. its been difficult, yes...as we are ALLL too familiar with. heheh

anyways, i am starting to feel different.
and i luv it.

righty, today is soooo full of things to do. i'm baking up a storm today ((i have fynns second 1st bday party tomorrow)) luckily its only family and im not doing loads of food for lunch...just cake cookies and chocolate fridge candy. ((yummychocolate chunks that have apricots, raisins, and pieces of digestive in them)). and i have no desire to have any of it. ((thats because i'm totally stoked about the scales getting past the 180's)). ohh poooo, i just remembered i have to finish a painting im doing as a gift for someones wedding tomorrow...waaaaa!!!! :cry::cry: im happy to do it, just ...well...busy.

ok im off. gotta get going.
i will catch up later hopefully, if im not tooooo shattered.

 

[Sambucca]

Wow Dis. Congratulations on getting into the 170's. Im so happy for you.

ive still got a ways to go. but i'm just..well, in awe that i'm accomplishing something here, instead of failing like every other diet i've done. its been difficult, yes...as we are ALLL too familiar with. heheh

This bit of your post jumped out at me this morning. I need to remember that too. Despite the slips, I too am acomplishing something and should be proud instead of kicking myself for cheating. Thanks Dis. You have really inspired me again this morning.

 

[Dis]

morning everyone. ((it sure has been a quiet weekend here on MM!)) i havent had a moment to post at all. it sure has been a hectic week though. im kinda glad its past. fynn's bday party with the family was saturday and it went very very well. i feel a little sad though cos i was so busy running around, wiping faces, filling plates, cups, etc...that i didnt have a moment to take photos. i'm sooo sad about that. i think i have...err. 1. and thats it.
hmmm...perhaps i'll have to ask the others if they took any.

the morning of his party, fynn woke up with a tiny bit of a cold. not major enough to cancel the day or anything. so after all his sugar, cake, and lack of ANY naps, we still had a wedding reception to dress up for and drive a ways to...and that started at half seven. poor little man. oh he was a wreck by then. luckily, he wasnt toooo bad at the hall. finally, he got home and went straight to sleep.
but sadly, he's woken up each day since then getting worse and worse with this cold thing. im contemplating calling the gp this morning...he cant keep anything down, it seems. not even calpol. i suspect its ((and i hope you arent having your shake now!!)) incredible nose throat chest congestion thats making him sick.

ohhhh...sorry about that.

anyways, WI day. last week i gained 3 lbs. expectedly.
this weeks results???
lost the 3 lbs i gained...PLUS another 3!!
officially making it a 6LB loss this week!!!
i have reached the 4st mark. totally happy about that. i cant believe it myself. also, the family and our friends we saw at fynns party, havent seen me in a month or so...they cant believe it either. it was the first thing out of their mouths. everytime, without fail. i got to the point where i didnt know what to say anymore! wow it felt nice.

righty, on to the next goal...170lbs...the weight thats always been on my california drivers licence. ((i wasnt that weight when i got my licence...most females over there usually adjust and or underexagerate their weight. hehehe)) i think my weight was grossly underestimated!

anyways, i must tend to little man fynn. hope you all have a nice monday.

Sam & kaz, hope all is well!

 

[Dis]

Truly Disappointed....

i just dont know what the eff is going on with me. i cant get around my own reasoning, or the lack there of, for eating this week. im eating as though its the last week on the planet. i even feel guilty for having the shakes, after eating all this crap. i have done so well so far and for what?!?!?
to mess it up now?

i feel sooo pent up with guilt i'm only bringing myself to tears just typing this now. my new week starts on monday and i just...

well, i just dont know. i've eaten cheerios this morning...toast...cheerios again...2 small cadbury fingers...and a choc mint shake. no water.... and that was just today! yesterday, im not even going to get into it. no take aways or anything like that. but i certainly wasnt saintly. had a couple litres of water as well.

over the last week or so, i've been feeling faint and hungry. proper hungry. and i've never felt this way before, since being on this diet. and thats even when i had occassional slight nibbles!

mentally, i feel as heavy as i was when i started CD...4stone heavier! i feel as though i've put it all back on. now i know it isnt real...i know its all in my head.

i dont want to quit. its not an option. it never has been an option.
whats to best thing to do??? stop whinging and feeling sorry for myself?? and stop eating RIGHT NOW??? im terrified to step on the scales. my luck , it will say plus ten pounds. can i 'restart' the ketosis road right now and hopefully be back in it by the start of the next week? is it cheating to 'miss' this monday morning weigh in?

this is my own fault. i know no one can make me get over this hump except. i feel well and truly **** for letting myself slip so badly after so long.

i have a difficult road to ketosis ahead of me. but i deserve the icki-ness that im going to feel getting to ketosis...i brought this on myself.

:break_diet::break_diet::break_diet:
:cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:

 

[Mini]

Hi Dis,

Please don't beat yourself up as this only makes matters worse.

You have done exceptionally well and as you near your goal weight all sorts of head games are played out...

Have a look at Stepping your way back into SSing and you can decide yourself which step you need to take...

http://www.minimins.com/cambridge-diet-forum/9160-stepping-you-way-into-sole-sourcing.html

If you have slipped up this morning only I would consider starting with 790 but if you have been off the wagon a few days I would go higher up the plan.

After countless slip ups myself, I find this is the easy way back into SSing.

Which ever step you decide stay away from high carbs as they seem to activate the sugar monster.

Also I like to split my 3 packs in two when I start back and on the first day I will have six meals as it balances out the blood sugars and helps me from feeling light headed and hungry.

I also think it is best to stay away from the CD bars for the first week.

If you slip after starting, don't go back to restart but move forward.

I started back on Monday and fell on Monday evening and again on Tuesday and since Wednesday I have three full days done and feeling good about myself and more positive.

Just think you can have this last 23lbs. off and been in maintenance before Christmas!!! You can do it, just believe in yourself.

Love Mini xxx