Pheonix's Diary

oh wish Id read this yesterday BG, mind you it wouldnt have made any difference

yesterday went horribly , I did cave and in a big way last night , lets just say I have probably filled up all my water stores and then some , i also came on as predicted and for my sins i gained 1lb and yes I weighed myself anyway becasue I was convinced that after 10 days of sticking to plan I should have lost something

So completely demotivated this morning not sure how Im going to move forward from this , yet again the 10 day curse hits me , or rather i do it to myself

so im back up to 10 13 and Im starting to think maybe Im destined to be 11 stone and a size 14 , which is better than 13 stone and a size 18 but still not what I was aiming for

On a plus side , my son passed first day of selection , medical , strength tests and public speaking , so he didnt get put on the minibus back to the station unlike some , feel so sorry for them , and today he has team tasks , memory test and 1.5 mile run , then his final interview and result about 5pm

he has to get an overall A for the job he wants , a B will probably mean he gets his second choice, obviously the main thing is that he passes , so another anxious day

doesnt look like my goal of 10stone by my Easter holiday is going to pan out

Im trying to console myself with the fact that Im carrying my water stores and its day 1 totm and im bloated but even so , what an absolute twonk I am

what now ?
 
Pheonix please try and stay focused. This is something that's going to happen again in the future. It's about recognising that you have changed sooooo much about the unhealthy attitude you used to have around food, but realising that it's human nature that we sometimes need to give ourselves a bloody break! You said yourself, your a size 14 and weigh alot less than you did. This is to be celebrated. So it might take another month before you lose a bit more weight but this is your life now. We need to try not to wish it away. Hope you have a good day and stop beating yourself up!!xxxx
 
I just feel like crying today out of sheer bloody frustration , Ive taken every set back on the chin and tried to turn a negative into a positive but lately even when Im good the scales just dont show it and i havent moved anywhere , it just isnt worth it

unless I can do this diet 100% week after week after week then theres no point , i think im going to have to completely rethink how Im going to lose the last bit

I dont know how 9 good days then a bad day can undo all the work you have done , it just doesnt make sense , even the maths doesnt stack up anymore for me

Ive switched and changed to adapt as ive gone along and I guess I just dont have what it takes right now , it worked before becasue i was so unhappy , but my body confidence has inproved 10 fold so the urgency and desperation has gone

it might be time to switch to something that im going to adopt long term and settle for a slower loss , at the moment it feels like torture for no reward , Ive seen so may people say I can lose 1lb a week on a "normal " diet and feel like im not denying myself and its true

Im also wasting a hell of a lot of money on packs just to stay the same , and I dont feel as if there is anything else for me to learn about my eating habits , where I went wrong , what I need to do , my triggers and how to avoid them , I get it now and this diet has taught me that but it is also becoming one of my triggers becasue my body and mind will only let me do this for so many days before it screams at me to "eat the bl**dy food " and just like that its all been for nothing

I know im blabbering on but its how my mind is working today, trying to figure out my next step
 
thankyou slinky , I think the fact that i know that this is going to happen again in the future is the problem , when it does i go straight back to square one , so the effort, money and resolve all gets thrown out of the window

I may as well calorie count and stay the same , becasue thats what im doing , staying the same
 
I'm kind of doing the same. I think I'm going to move to atkins...it's too expensive if your not moving. Keep in touch whatever you do x
 
What is making you think about atkins Slinky , rather than calorie counting , just curious
is it becasue of the ketosis ?
 
Yes. I can't allow myself carbs. Not refined anyway. I need ketosis to stay slim. I say Atkins but prob more south beach type of thing with lots of veggies and some fruit. I can't go back to bead rice pasta or any such like! x
 
Im the same, my weakness is bread and cereal
but Id find atkins too difficult , im not a huge meat eater anyway
Im not concerned with ketosis , whenever Im in it I still feel hungry and dont seem to experience the benefits that others do , mind you thats probably becasue I never seem to be able to stay in it long enough to get the full benefit, Im also fed up with the headaches and lethargy
Id rather spend the money on a gym membership
 
Hi pheonix, Just wanted to say Cheerio and thanks for all your support. I really am sorry if I've upset people. Good luck and i hope you get to where you want to be on your "journey" x
 
Ive seen it , I checked your posts and Ive had my say , clearly you were teasing

Im not happy about the way the forum seems to be changing to be honest , please dont go becasue for every person that thinks one thing , someone will think the opposite

things often are misinterpreted in text , as we cant convey our facial expressions and emotions , i put my big foot in my big mouth on a regular basis

I might be moving myself anyway , over to calorie counting , or might check ut south beach , sounds like a cool place to hang out , anyway let me now where you go so I can check in with you
 
Oh Phoenix, really sorry you haven't lost :(. I think that's the reason why I couldn't weigh weekly, because I would be so gutted if after a week the scales have stayed the same. At least if I get on them every day I kind of prepare myself for what my weekly total is going to be like whereas with a weekly WI you've no idea really and disappointment is inevitable then.

Maybe try to get back into ketosis, stick to it for a few day, wait until TOTM has gone and then you'll be rewarded with a loss? That's if you don't move over to calorie counting or whatever you decide to do next. My LL friend at work has come to the end of her VLCD journey - she'd just had enough of it, and I think that I'm nearing the end of mine to be honest. I just don't have a plan yet so don't want to just stop until I do. I would also like to get to within a stone of my goal (1.4lbs to go) before I start to do something different.

Whatever you decide keep in touch as I've enjoyed our S&S journey together this past few months xx
 
Ah thanks BG me too

I will still post here , well I still have alot of s and s to use up so will be incorperating them into my calorie counting
ive been thinking about the gym and trying to get my bum off the couch , i just dont have the energy on this diet
ive been looking into holfords GL diet and that looks like where im heading at some point
ill just pop into the maintaining area of s and s until they kick me out for being a fake ha ha

my son passed Army selection with a grade A , so proud of him , hes worked so hard for that and it means he can go for his number one choice of job which is highly sought after , they told him today he has a good chance , either way the Army have got him now , not the best of days to hear your son got in , with what has happened in Afghan but I have to support him , hes so committed and determined

definitely a day for reflection and mixed feelings on both scores
 
Funnily enough I've just bought Holford's book off Ebay. It's sitting on my kitchen island until I decide to actually read it :)

I reckon that we've earned the right to post on the S&S board, as founder members :). It is different on there now tho for sure. I can't keep up with everyone as there are so many new starters so I just read a few diaries of people who started a while ago like us, people I actually know (only 1 of them - someone from work), and people who started post Xmas when it was quieter and I like to keep up with, and funny people like Moosh whose diary always makes me smile. I guess that's what happens when a forum becomes busy, it just seems a lot less intimate than what we had before and changes things a bit.

Great news on your son passing his selection. Whatever your misgivings you must be so proud of him.
 
Patrick's book is great I've done it before and because the food is slow release you don't feel hungry it's really good diet.
 
Im not reading the book , but I do have it , so I flick through it and look at the lists and important parts

I have the concentration span of a gnat and tinnitus , and therefore find reading a book and actually taking the information in impossible , thank goodness for t'internet eh?

Ive actually been looking at joining the gym which led me to thinking about running , best way to rid the apron belly apparently , which led me to couch25k , which led me to treadmills (too embarrassed to run outside ) which took me to my beloved Amazon and oopsie , I just bouht a treadmill , it arrives on Friday

so im downloading the podcasts on the nhs site and i should be running 5k in under 30 minutes in 9 weeks

ha ha well its worth a try , now need to buy a decent shock absorbing bra lol

Tomoro's task is to devise an eating plan to take me from 800 , gradually up to 1200 cals

yeah i definitely cant keep up with all the goings on now , Id much rather converse with half a dozen people , so i can at least try to fake like i know what the hell is going on with them

....again with the short attention span :)
 
2lb down this morning but still not enough to keep me on track today , I havnt gone mad but ive had too much already

im focusing on limiting the damage at the moment while i decide what im doing next

Id love to be able to get my 2 stone slim and save badge but I want it while not in ketosis , if that makes sense , so its a true weight that I have reached , so maybe I will aim for 10 10 then start refeeding

im 10.11.6 today


ive been on my fitness pal and tried to construct a menu i can enjoy ,which is quick easy meals , low carb and healthy but with enough treats in it to ensure i dont feel deprived I cant believe how hard it is to consume 1000 calories when you are actually trying to

Ill up that to 1200 after a few weeks

Ive forgotten how to shop for food for myself ! It feels weird Ive been writing shopping lists today and im scared , the thought of going round the supermarket and putting things in the trolley that are for me. I know that my little devil will be whispering in my ear , get that , that and that for the weekend , go on treat yourself ,mmmm pringles , wow that gateaux is only £1 ....and so it goes on.....Aarrghhh

maybe ill shop online

my treadmill came today , so i start couch to 5k tomoro
 
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