pudges daily diary...:)

[pudge]

11/120

hallo everybody..so today was loonnnggg... had my exam from 4-6pm. was so tiring and didnt go as well as i thought it would. thankflly everybody felt the same though, so hopefully the marker is nice to us!

Then i came home and went straight out for coffee with Dad. then home to skype my best friend and finally on teh couch and absolutely knackered! No study this evening i cant take it! ill be up early for a productive day tomorrow!

Got some sudafed to help my ears along. Im going to think everybody is shouting by the time i get my hearing back!

Just watching come dine with me...glad the foods on the tv and not in front of me.. is it bad that they put come dine with me directly after the biggest loser?! i think so, because by the end of the biggest loser, all i ever want to do is work out,, and then if come dine with me is on all i ever want to do is eat.... bad tv schedule!!!

Feeling ok today though, little behind on the water but trying to play careful catch up now,, only half a litre out so ill stay up for another hour or so. Dont want to be up in the night on the loo!!

Had health psychology exam, and on it was a question on obesity....typically i wrote about 6 pages for it. All facts of course but i had so much to say. Something i didnt know until recently is that if we are overweight as children and we make more fat cells, in later life we cannot get rid of them! How unfair!!....

so thats why 2/3 of people who lose alot of weight put it back on,, of course theres the whole going back to bad habits part but also the fact that our fat cells never dissapear and we have more than a person who has been normal weight all their lives. So i must remember this when i refeed and maintain! i will not be able to eat as much as other people because i have more fat cells than them and therefore will put on weight quicker!!! NOTE TO SELF!!!

BOO .........

Jayne how are you feeling today? and everyone else??

Ive put up a ticker to get me to halfway.. i think its good because otherwise ill get to impatient... so only 26lbs to go yaayyy


heres to day 12 tomorrrow.. x

 

[Scarybush]

Ah ****, dats not good news about childhood obesity, cause I was an obese kid from about 18months, and probably put a stone on every year there after..
So once I reach my goal weight, it'll be 1600cals a day...boo hoo , boring diet..(ah it won't be I'm a chef I can figure it out).. Got a book on Nutrition and am going to start studying that and fingers crossed I'll have that knowledge for life..
Great to hear you finshed your exam, and I hope the examiner is generous on the old marking front..best of luck with the rest of them hun..
And brilliant WL hun..

 

[Jayne33]

Yes, I learned that about fat cells years back, and it's pee'd me off ever since! lol. I started getting properly fat around puberty, but was prob a bit chubby from about 9 years.

Hope your ears come back to life soon!

Have a good day xx

 

[funkystrut]

Good morning Pudges!

Hope you are ready for a good day of studying today!! What is your course if you don't mind me asking? Is it medically related?

Fat cells...read that too....they just stick to for life!!! Like Jayne I piled it after puberty...before then I was a stick....mum had to force me to eat anything. At boarding school I was always the last one off the dinner table coz I could never finish my food. How things have changed!!

Hope yo have a great day today. How many exams do you have left? Keep focused and keep drinking that H20!!!

 

[funkystrut]

Oh thanks for the hint for another tracker to record mini goals...it works!

 

[pudge]

12/120...... so i just have to do the last 12 days ten more times and ill be practically there.........


good morning everybody!!...

got up at 9 today,, was going to have an early morning but i woke up at 7 and had no energy whatsoever,, so mini lie in for me
Have some cravings that have just joined me while studying, im putting them down to being a little stressed, so nothing to worry about!

Studying Freud today, who would have thought that studying perversion, psychosis, fetishism and castration would be so unbelievably difficult and complicated! however its really interesting. Lots of reading to be done today. Im in work at five until nine this evening so that will be a bit of a break and exam isnt until one tomorrow so i think ill have enough time to go over everything

Thanks scarybush, let me know what the book is like as i need to stock up on a few of these books when i get some free time so i can be aware of my intake after LT! how is your week going so far?

Jayne, ears are a little better today thankfully, they have started to pop back and forward between normal and fuzzy so at least they're doing something and they're not just stuck!

Funky! morning to you too im studying psychology and im in my final year at the moment. its not really medically related, but the masters course i want to do in mental health counselling and behavioural medicine is! So lots of hard work this year so i can get into Boston University after my year off..fingers crossed!

Only two exams left, theories of sexuality which is tomorrow and then neuropsychology which is on saturday and then i can sleep for the weekend lol!


It sucks about the fat cells, I was normal up until i was about 9 which is when i moved to ireland and it was just Dad and I.THough i do remember secretly eating buscuits when i was little but not enough to put on lots of weight. Then things went downhill,, lots of secret eating and sneaking to the shop with big portions of food,,recipe for disaster...then upheavals in personal life and a few major changes resulting in me going to boarding school and here i am...lol! how long were you in boarding school funky? i was only in one for two years, but it completely changed me for the better!

Its crazy how food can be such a comfort and such an addictive thing, for all these underlying reasons! gosh i could analyse myself all day!

Mini goals are amazing,,that is what is pushing me to the next day,, just get halfway ...

water is tasting a bit funny today,,, and i usually love it,, hopefully itll go down ok though.

Got my timetable for next semester of college, monday untill wednesday which is great as it means ill have time for study and four days of part time work so i can save for next summer

Anyway, im just going to have a quick nosey around and see how everybody is doing and then study and work and ill be back this evening

hope you all have a good day positive vibes xxx

 

[pudge]

hey everybody!!...

hope you have all had a good day today!... studied most of the day and then went to work. Just back from work now and im going to do another two hours and then im up at 6 to read some chapters from a book on feminine sexuality!!...i have to say i really do love my course,,just not when im going over stuff ive already learnt and ramming it into my brain and begging it to stay there for 12 hours before leaving quickly so i can repeat with another subject!

Sitting here with the most gigantic bucket of coffee i have ever faced.... and who says college and final year is no fun!

Anyways,, have a bit of a headache but i think thats because work was so hot this evening. Only managed two surveys but in fairness ive got to hand it to the people who took part,,, each one was waaayyyy over half an hour long... my throat hurts

Also i made a magnificent fall outside work and now my legs are bleeding. I dont know whats happened to me,, i was standing still as well and i just moved my ankle and over i went.. it was quite funny and painful!

My best friend is on her way back from scotland as her granny has just got a chest infection and theyve been told to come quickly as she doesnt have much time left. Shes 100 years old! So im just waiting for her to call me when she knows how things are. Planning on heading down to hers on monday to help out with everything.

Other than that,,all is goood having to be careful with water now as ive had my fill and im still thirsty!!... again im going to have a nosey around and then off to study some more!!... i hope my brain is prepared xxx

 

[DebT]

Hey Pudge

How are you holding out? Im sure your brain must be fried with all the studying.

When is your next weigh-in? Im a bit behind on everyone's posts as ive not been on the forum for a couple of days.

Had weigh-in today.. another 3 lbs gone.. just 3 more lbs to go to make the 2 stone mark.. almost half way there.

Had a bit of a tough week, but I reckon the worst is over and its all psychological from here on in.. my willpower isnt the greatest at times.

I hope you have had a good week.

Deb xo

 

[pudge]

Deb! ive been missing you!! Great job on your loss this week! i cant believe youre nearly at two stone gone,,thats fantastic! how do you feel? have you noticed differences yet?

My brain is fried and is now swimming in coffee...yum bit more frying to be done before i can relax though! weigh in isnt until sunday but by my sneaky weigh ins i havent lost anything but sure i have a few days left! lots can happen...so i hope

Sorry to hear youve had a tough week, whats been going on? hope youre alright,,, *HUGS* .... whatever the case is,, you will always have a positive... you are losing weight
xxx

 

[DebT]

Hiya Pudge..

Just had a tough week holding out on the willpower thats all... It was the same first time round but once in past my third week I will be flying. Poor hubby is having to eat his dinner in the kitchen all the time.. he does give off but he has no choice in the matter. The other night there was something on telly he wanted to see so he ate his dinner sitting on the stairs with the door open looking in lolol.

I have noticed loads of a difference, plus people who havnt seen me since before Christmas are all noticing now. Had 3 people comment yesterday on my weight loss.

Just had a look at ur ticker.. the weight is flying off u too.. well done Im sure by the time your weigh in day comes round, you will have lost.

Im still having a bit of a problem getting the water down but the black coffee is getting easier to drink now. Im not a tea drinker.

Im watching Shameless at the minute, new series on channel 4.. hilarious lolol... oh and Dancing on Ice is back on to keep me entertained at the weekends.

Hugs Deb xo

 

[Jayne33]

Awww Pudge, poor you falling down Hope you're okay? Glad to hear the ears are finally popping back into life again

xx

 

[SSusee]

Hi Pudge
Hope you getting on well today. You're really doing well what with studying, managing LT AND giving such positive support to us when we're feeling a bit under the weather! Sorry to hear you fell and hope you're OK. BTW, thanks for all the posts of support you gave me before when I was throwing a wobbler, feel much more positive now!

 

[Mirjam]

Hear hear! xxx

 

[PaulaJ]

Pudgeeeee! Why have I not come across your diary before??

I promise I will catch up with it today and start reciprocating all the lovely support you've given me on mine! Hope you're having a good day and are able to give your brain a little break from all that studying soon. I'll be back

xx

 

[pudge]

13/120

bonjour everybody!! where has the day gone!!!! can somebody please turn the clocks back at least three hours and ill be eternally grateful thanks
so last night i studied until 2am! well studied until about 12 and then read a really convoluted chapter on psychoanalysis which ook me the best part of two hours....then seeing as i had a bucket of coffee at ten i then couldnt get to sleep till after 4 and then i was up at 6.30am! dont know how i managed it!...

had my exam at 1 and it went well i think. Two hours to do three questions, two of my questions were amazing and i got everything down that i could and then i only had 20 minutes left to do question number 3 im usually really good with time management but not this time. I was able to write two pages and then about half a page of bullet points of what i was going to continue to write and i wrote beside it that i ran out of time, so hopefully all will be ok. Everybody seemed to be the same as the adjudicator person had to keep telling us to put our pens down!!

So happy enough with that, got home at about 3.30 and had two shakes and water and had a nap, now im just taking some time out until 6.30 and then ill be back on the study again! NO coffee for me tonight, i can get up early and have some but none tonight!

Only one more exam to do, neuropsychology at 9.30am, so im learning three questions, one on the brain and sleep.( just what i need right now) , alzheimers and neurotransmission... hopefully it goes ok!...

Im so excited for tomorrow because then i can sleepppppppp..yyyeessssssssssss!!! you have no idea how excited i am just to relax! itll be amazing!

Debs how are you getting on today? hopefully youre feeling 100 percent! i love shameless and dancing on ice,, i love all those dancing shows! i wish i had the time to join a dancing class... slim fit and talented i would be!

Jayne, ok after falling,, my dignity was more hurt than i was.. at least i can laugh at myself!

Ssusee! how are you getting on? still feeling good and positive i hope! youre nearly halfway there woop woop!

paula and Mirjam hope youre doing ok today! 100 percenters all the way xx

 

[Jayne33]

Good luck for tomorrow's exam and then your very well earned, and deserved relaxation time zzzzzzzz xx

 

[Daisy1966]

Fantastic diary Pudge ! xx

 

[pudge]

14/120

thanks guys...im now going to ruin my amazing 100 percent streak!.. i had a major wobble today that resulted in me coming right off and being really really silly!
I came home from exam and everything was fine and dandy. Went to sleep for two hours, no craving or anything, in fact i believe i was thinking about how food isnt going to get to me..... then i woke up and i just couldnt get it out of my head... I tried to talk myself out of it, but clearly not hard enough because the devil on my shoulder got the better of me! Anyway off i went to the kitchen and opened the fridge.... usually i just open it,,stare and then close it and leave... this time i opened it,,*FOOD MENTIONED* and proceded to tuck in to some of my flatmates left over spag bol that is left for anybody.... The weird thing is , is that it took me a good minute or so to realise what i had just done before i was able to stop. And i managed quite alot of food in that minute! Im such a mess.

I felt really sick afterwards as well, so i wont be repeating that in a hurry. Felt really nauseas (SP?) , due to not having food in so long and also the speed i ate it. And then my tummy decided it really hated me and i had cramps for about an hour. gosh i cant believe im admitting this all! but i suppose by doing so i can reread this if i feel the need to do it again (which i wont as the memory will be etched in my brain) and others can BE WARNED... its totally not worth it!..

Well im not really such a mess, its just I dont know how i went from positive to food so quickly.

Maybe it was because i was finished exams and i wanted a "reward" maybe? like i was entitled to it? Or was it that i knew i was going to have a lazy day, and i havent had a lazy day in so long that the last one was probably fueled by food in front of the tv so why break the tradition....

Oh it could have been anything but im so angry at myself for not getting it together quick enough! Weigh in is tomorrow and i know im out of ketosis and have gained a nice amount of water weight. However ill still go ahead with the weigh in and see what damage i have done.

I must try harder from now on. I WILL only have one journey on this and I will get there by summer!

Back on the horse i get,, with my head held high ready to get cracking on. I refuse to not be 100 per cent from now on. Lets make that my first and only slip on LT for the year of 2011!

Will you have me back??

I cant wait to get back in ketosis and be sailing along like i was!!... it was such a good day until that happened!

Right....positive thoughts.........

If i come up with any more reasons as to why i gave in ill write them but for now thats all i can think of.
Im alot stronger than i think i am,, i guess i have to start really believing every single minute that i can do this..... and i will!!!!

Sorry for rant but its needed!!,,, excited to be back on board as of now... no need for shakes but still drinking the water...

Some new things that im going to try and do to stop me being in the situation again and to keep me being productive.

1. No watching TV for more than an hour a day.
2.Do not open the fridge, there is no need for it but temptation
3.Try my best to not weigh myself every day, start my limiting to every second day!!

And on that note ,,iff off for a read of all your sexy slimming posts... get me reared up and ready to go in the morning!...xxxx

 

[PaulaJ]

I've already smacked your bum in another thread so won't keep banging on about it. Really good, honest post though. I think I'll come back to it when my little devil appears too, 'orrible little creature he is!

I don't know about the actual science of what I'm about to say but perhaps there is a chance it didn't squeeze you out of ketosis? Like I said earlier at least you had the guts to not only tell us about this but more importantly to get right back on it again, you'll be fine hunny - I have complete faith in you! xx

 

[pudge]

15/120

morning all,,, feeling good today,, nice and positive and ready to roll!!

Thanks Paula,, so relieved to be back on track, im comfortable here dont know why i faltered,,,grass is greener i guess... but really it isn't!

JUst back from my weigh in and im down 3lb which im really happy with after my slip yesterday! just makes me wonder how much i would have been down! anyway im pleased with 3lbs... i think the weigh in has definitely helped get me back in the right frame of mind today!

Just back from coffee with Dad, told him that ive just met another mini goal,,, under 200lbs woooooooop .. he was really pleased for me. I love being able to make him proud because i know he just wants me to be happy.

Anyway, another relaxing day today, no food this time though! going to just chill for a few hours, then ill go for a nice walk and then later ill get down to do some researching for my thesis....

wooooo thesis... im quite a busy bee this year... year of the change and all that!

Anyway,, im off to have a read of how everybody is today as i didnt really get round to it yesterday as i was too busy giving myself a telling off!!


Im happy today how is everybody?? end of another week! January is flying by isn't it! not long and it will be summer x